Dangerous to Know & Love

by Jane Harvey-Berrick

  He turned back and pulled the beanie firmly down his head.

  The guard looked irritated. “Fine, I’ll have someone escort you.”

  A few minutes later, an enormous woman in guard uniform walked toward him. “You the deaf kid?”

  Daniel felt his muscles tense but he tried to keep his face neutral.

  “Yeah.”

  “Huh. You don’t look deaf. This way.”

  He followed her through one door and down a short corridor. After a pause, she pushed open a second door.

  “Have a nice visit.”

  Daniel looked around and found a small table branded with the number 12. There were already several visitors sitting with prisoners. One man was holding a child of about two on his knee and blowing bubbles onto her stomach. Daniel could see that she was laughing.

  His stomach clenched and he quickly swallowed the rising nausea.

  A door at the far end of the room opened and he saw Zef. Daniel had expected him to be handcuffed and was relieved that he wasn’t. In fact, if it hadn’t been for the prison overalls, they could have been meeting in some cheap diner.

  “Hey, little bro. How you doing?”

  Daniel stood up and they hugged quickly.

  “Thanks for coming, man. Shit, it’s good to see you.”

  “Yeah, you, too. You look good.”

  The weird thing was, it was true. Zef looked relaxed and clear-eyed, not strung out or high. Daniel realized it had been a long time since he’d seen his brother like that.

  Zef laughed lightly. “It’s all the clean living,” and he raised his eyebrows.

  “So, how is it? In here?”

  Zef’s shoulders slumped, infinitesimally. “Well, it sucks, but nothing I can’t handle. ‘If you can’t do the time, don’t do the crime’, right?”

  “Yeah, I guess. Hey, I brought you smokes.”

  “Fuckin’ lifesaver. Thanks, Dan.”

  Daniel nodded.

  Zef lit a cigarette and breathed in appreciatively. “You not having one?”

  “Nah, man. I quit.”

  “Seriously?”

  “Yep. Over a month now.”

  Zef blew out a slow lungful of smoke and sighed. “That little girlfriend of yours must be a good influence, or something.”

  Daniel frowned and Zef spread out his hands in a gesture of capitulation.

  “I don’t mean anything. It’s cool. It’s great you’ve got someone.” He paused. “How’s the hearing thing?”

  “Okay. Weird but getting better. I can hear some sounds, but it’s still kinda muddy. They say it’ll take up to a year before it’s fully functioning.”

  “That long?”

  “Could be sooner. No one can say for sure.”

  “Have you worn it to school?”

  “Once. It was pretty shitty. It sounded loud in the hallways but I couldn’t pick out one sound from the others – it was garbage, so that was a bit crap.”

  Zef nodded slowly. “No regrets then?”

  Daniel paused. “No, I just wish…”

  “What?”

  “I thought… I thought I’d be able to hear music. You know, maybe be able to… I tried but it’s just a bunch of fucking noise.”

  Zef’s face was sympathetic.

  “Shit, I’m sorry, man. I know that was a big thing for you.”

  Daniel shrugged. “Yeah. Whatever.” He looked directly at his brother. “So, are you going to tell me why I’m here? Why you were dealing fucking meth.”

  Zef gave a wistful smile. “I wasn’t sure you’d come.”

  Daniel rubbed his hand across his jaw. “You’re my brother.”

  “I wish I’d been a better one.”

  They shared a look.

  “I mean it, Dan. I’ve been a shitty brother. I wasn’t there for you. All the shit that went down – you tried to get me to stop and I was too fucking blind to see it. But you know what? I’m not sorry the cops caught up with me because I don’t think I’d have got out alive. I was into some pretty heavy scenes that I haven’t even told you about. I just kept getting pulled in deeper.” He gestured with his hands. “Here, well, in prison, I get a chance to clean up my act. I might only get five years.”

  Daniel took a sharp intake of breath.

  “Hey, don’t sweat it, little brother. This place is a picnic compared to where I was headed. Besides, I can study. Might get my degree before you. And the state prison has got a pretty good mechanics shop.” He sighed. “So, um, how’s the house?”

  “I was going to torch it.”

  Zef’s eyes bugged out. “Sweet baby Jesus! You didn’t, did you?”

  “Lis stopped me.”

  “Well, thank fuck for that!”

  “Yeah, turned out okay. Her folks helped me fix it up. I had some photos on my phone, but I wasn’t allowed to bring it in. Maybe I could print some out for you?”

  They both knew that Daniel was really asking if Zef wanted him to visit again.

  “Sure, that’d be cool.”

  The guard approached, signaling the end of the visit.

  They shook hands, and Zef pulled his brother in for a hug. “I’m so fucking sorry,” he whispered, knowing that Daniel couldn’t hear him.

  The guard loomed closer and Zef pulled away.

  “Look, one more thing. Just… don’t trust Roy, okay?”

  “What the fuck? Zef?”

  But Zef was already being led away.

  Daniel didn’t go back to school after visiting Zef. He didn’t go home either. Instead, he drove to the coast and found a patch of beach where he could stare out at the ocean, watching the waves curl onto the pale sand.

  It had been a kick in the guts seeing Zef in jail. He was glad his brother wanted to use the time he’d have to serve to clean up his act, but fuck – five years. That meant Zef would be nearly 30 by the time he got out. It seemed a lifetime away to Daniel.

  He’d lost his parents and now his brother had gone, too. And what was that shit about Roy? Why hadn’t Zef told him outright what was going on?

  His phone vibrated and when he pulled it out, there was a text photo that Lisanne had taken of herself, pulling a silly face.

  * L: see what you don’t have to keep on missing?

  Hope it went ok. LA xx *

  * D: pick you up 40 mins? *

  * L: Got a ride with R. be at your place. R has a date!!! LA xx *

  * D: ?!*?!!&! *

  * L: I know! Later. LA xx *

  Daniel smiled to himself. Baby Doll could always make him smile. And Rodney had a date. The guy moved fast.

  He drove back slowly, thinking about all the meanings of the word ‘home’: what his home had been, what it was now, what it could be or would be, even what it should be. Mostly, he thought about Lisanne waiting for him.

  It was nearly 7 PM when he arrived back, and Rodney’s car was still parked outside. Daniel was disappointed. He’d been looking forward to having Lisanne to himself. Rodney was okay – living with him was easier than Daniel had thought and although he wasn’t the tidiest person, it was nothing after living with Zef and his asshole customers for two years. At least he didn’t feel the need to lock his bedroom door anymore – not that he had anything worth stealing. He patted Sirona’s saddle – except her.

  He locked her securely in the garage and headed inside. His nostrils were immediately assailed by the heady scent of strong aftershave.

  Rodney wafted past looking excited, a bright smile on his face.

  “Fuck, man! You smell like a whore’s bedroom!”

  “I know,” said Rodney, winking at him. “Don’t wait up!”

  Shaking his head, Daniel went to look for Lisanne. She was in the kitchen unpacking food from a shopping bag. He wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her neck.

  She twisted around and rested her head against his chest. When she looked up, her eyes were soft and concerned.

  “How did it go today?”

  He grimaced. “Okay. As okay
as it could be, I guess.”

  “Do you want to talk about it?”

  “Not really.”

  “But will you? Maybe later?”

  He sighed. “Yeah, later. Maybe.”

  She rolled her eyes. “Are you hungry?”

  “Starving.”

  She laughed lightly. “You’re always starving. Okay, I’ll make something – Rodney’s Thai extravaganza has been put on hold. Oh, hey, did you wear your CI today?” He shook his head and she pursed her lips. “You know Dr. Devallis said you had to practice every day. Go put it on while I get dinner.”

  “Baby d…”

  “No, I mean it, Daniel. Go put it on. Now.”

  Grumbling and muttering to himself about how bossy she was, he headed for his bedroom and fished the device out of its box. He checked the battery and hooked it over his ear, then attached the magnet.

  He still felt self-conscious about wearing it, so he pulled his beanie back on, then ran downstairs. He stopped halfway, aware that he could hear himself running. The shock travelled up his body and lodged somewhere in his chest.

  He saw Lisanne’s anxious face peering up at him.

  “Are you okay?”

  “Yeah, fuck. I… I could hear myself… on the stairs. It just freaked me out a bit. ‘S’okay, I’m good.”

  Her face lit up. “It’s getting better, isn’t it? You can hear more with it?”

  “I don’t know if it’s hearing more or… like my brain is working out what different sounds are. It’s hard to explain.”

  He walked down the stairs and jumped the last two steps, landing with a thud. A huge smile spread over his face.

  “I definitely heard that!”

  Lisanne’s face crumpled and Daniel was immediately uneasy. “What’s the matter, baby doll? What’s wrong?”

  She shook her head and scrubbed at the tears that were threatening to fall.

  “I’m just… happy!” she said. “You heard that. You really heard it!”

  He swept her up into a tight hug and his mouth slammed down on hers. She responded immediately, and her tongue dove into his mouth, twisting and twining with his.

  He felt himself growing hard as his body pressed against her.

  “Bed!” she gasped.

  Daniel picked her up and felt her legs wrap around his waist. He turned and carried her up the stairs slowly, refusing to lose contact with her mouth. They crashed into his bedroom and fell sideways onto the bed.

  Lisanne grabbed at his t-shirt and tugged it roughly over his head, dragging the beanie with it.

  Daniel’s hand moved to the device, ready to yank it off.

  “Leave it on,” Lisanne breathed. She pulled back slightly so he could see her face. “Leave it on.”

  He looked at her doubtfully, but then she pushed him down and straddled his thighs, running her tongue up the centre of his body. He stretched his arms above him and held onto the headboard, his biceps bunching, making his tattoos ripple so that Lisanne wanted to lick those, too.

  Daniel felt his cock hot and heavy in his jeans and he breathed deeply, enjoying the feeling of her warm body moving over his. He sat up suddenly and caught her before she fell backward.

  He pulled her toward him by her shirt, unfastening one button at a time, before slipping the sleeves down her arms.

  “Fuck, I love your tits,” he said, and pushed his face between them, feeling their softness and fullness.

  She moaned and he looked up. He wasn’t sure if he’d heard something or maybe it was the damn device and its phantom sounds.

  She opened her eyes, and they were filled with dark, sexy humor.

  “Maybe you’d rather have dinner?”

  “Yeah, I would,” he said. “I’m going to eat you.”

  He could see Lisanne’s whole body heat up and his heart started to hammer. His cock punched at the zipper on his jeans, demanding to be freed. He lifted her away from him and dropped her onto the bed before yanking off his boots and getting rid of his socks. He kept his eyes on her face as his jeans joined the rest of his clothes on the floor.

  His cock leapt free, hard and proud, and aiming straight at Lisanne.

  She licked her lips and his cock waved at her, impatiently.

  Daniel crawled slowly up the bed, his whole body dangerous and predatory.

  “Are you wet, baby doll? Are you soaking for me?”

  She nodded, her eyes wide and full of longing.

  He peeled her jeans down her legs and used his teeth to tug her panties to her thighs.

  She kicked them free and he knelt between her legs, pushing her knees up and wide apart.

  “You look so beautiful, all wet for me, baby doll. Do you know how much I want you?” He glanced down at his cock, showing the truth of his words. Her small hand wrapped around his length and he had to take a deep breath to stop himself from slamming into her and pumping hard.

  He grinned as he forced her to let go, blinking as she flicked his tip as she conceded the contest.

  “Bad ass!” he murmured against her stomach.

  He felt her shiver, as he kissed his way up each thigh, before burying his face deep inside her. Fuck, he loved to do this to her, fucking her with his tongue and his fingers. He knew she still didn’t get why he liked doing it, but she enjoyed it too much to stop him.

  Her orgasm came quickly, the stress and tension of the first day back at school relieved, as her body pulsed around him.

  Her eyes fluttered open, and she leaned up on her elbows as he pumped himself three or four times. It was such a fucking turn on to know that she liked to watch as he pleasured himself.

  “You still want me, Lis?”

  “I’ll always want you,” she said, echoing the words he said to her so often.

  Her face was so serious, so full of love, that Daniel felt that same sharp pain in his chest. His breath caught in his throat.

  “Make love to me, Daniel,” she said, watching his face carefully.

  She lifted her feet and wrapped her legs around his waist, pulling him closer. Unable to resist any longer, Daniel pushed inside her, a low groan swelling out of him as her warm, wet body enclosed him completely.

  She tightened her legs until her heels were digging into his ass, gripping him tightly.

  Daniel shuddered, feeling another notch of control slip away. He took their combined weight on his forearms as her body lifted off the bed with each vigorous thrust.

  He felt the flutter of another orgasm begin to build inside her, the movement sending him into a frenzy as he lost the battle to control his body.

  Sounds vibrated through her so strongly, he could feel them in his own chest. He was confused, could he feel them or could he hear them? His brain was too deluged with sensation to analyze what he felt.

  Her hands scrabbled at his shoulders, her short nails digging into his skin. Sweat broke out on his forehead and on his back, and he felt the tensing in his balls and stomach that told him he had about five seconds before he came.

  “I’m close,” he gasped in a strangled voice. “Lis? Lis?”

  Lisanne gripped tighter, her face contorted and she screamed. “Daniel!”

  His orgasm erupted from him, jets of heat passing from his body into hers, his heart hammering, breath squeezed from his lungs.

  He collapsed onto the bed, momentarily crushing her.

  He felt Lisanne push his shoulder gently and he pulled out of her, his brain a chaos of confusion. He lay on this back, his arm thrown over his face.

  He couldn’t catch his breath, he couldn’t think. He was gasping, drowning.

  Lisanne’s soft hands pulled at his arm. He resisted, afraid to look at her. She pulled again and this time he let her.

  Her warm hands were on his face and her fingers were sweeping gently across his cheeks.

  He opened his eyes and saw her, so full of love, concerned now.

  “Daniel! Why are you crying? Daniel! Talk to me!”

  He struggled to sit up, his bea
utiful face torn with emotion.

  “I heard you.”

  “What do you mean?”

  He rubbed his eyes, surprised to find them wet with tears.

  “I heard you. You… you called my name.”

  Lisanne stared at him, then understanding warmed her eyes.

  “Of course. I always call your name. I love you, Daniel.”

  He choked back the fear as he looked into her soul, and for the first time he believed her.

  “I heard you,” he said again, those three small words expressing a world of wonder.

  “I know,” she said with a soft smile.

  “Baby doll… I… I love you.”

  Chapter 25

  Lisanne was in a fury.

  How dare he! How absolutely fucking dare he!

  Daniel had come to her dorm room with a torn t-shirt and bruised knuckles to inform her, no less, that he’d told Roy to stay away from her. Consequently, Roy had quit the band – and they had a gig in less than a week but no lead guitarist.

  When she asked him what had happened, he’d simply said that ‘Roy had it coming’. That was it. He had it coming? What the hell did that mean? Like that was supposed to explain everything! And obviously the whole ‘telling’ situation had involved fists rather than words. She was slightly awestruck that Daniel had taken on a mountain of a man like Roy, who had at least forty pounds and a couple of inches on him – not that she was going to admit that. Not even for one second.

  She’d yelled at him, called him on his macho bullshit, told him he was an asshole, and then kicked him out.

  It was a shame – they’d been getting along so well lately.

  Ever since Daniel had said the words, had admitted that he loved her, their relationship had changed. It was more intense, it was more relaxed. It was more adventurous, it was less strained. He was playful and loving, and every day they discovered something new about each other.

  He’d talked about his parents, telling her stories from when he was a kid. He’d opened up about how he felt a little more, although there was still so much he kept back. He’d even admitted some of his fears about how well the implant would work. She tried to reassure him and pointed out the small improvements that had already happened.

  She smiled to herself as she thought about that amazing, special moment – when he’d heard her call out his name as they made love. It had been huge for both of them.