Loving Neil

by Ronald Bagliere

  “Oh, yes,” she answered, pulling her collar up a little more. She turned to him and zipped his jacket up as far as it would go.

  He gazed up at her as if she were a beautiful queen, and said, “What’s special about it, Mom?”

  “It’s where I made peace with myself and everything else that ever happened to me growing up.”

  “Like what?”

  “My mom and dad breaking up. Missing my friends back east. That kind of stuff.”

  “And it helped.”

  “Yes.” Her thoughts drifted back to the turbulent time in her life when it was just she and her mom against the world. It seemed like an age ago. “Anyway, this is where I fell in love with your dad.”

  “Really?”

  “Yep. I brought him out here after your sister got hurt. He was very sad and I wanted to help him get through it.”

  Nate shot her a puzzled look. “Megan got hurt? How?”

  “Doesn’t matter. It was a long time ago, and she’s all better now.” We’ll, sort of. She went on. “Anyway, your dad climbed up onto this very rock with me, and we talked for hours.”

  “Is that how you fell in love with him?”

  Janet remembered Neil tumbling off the rock, and the two of them rolling in the sand. It brought a smile to her face. At last, she said, “Yes.” She watched her son trying to work out what it meant to fall in love in his head, and she pulled him tighter. “Do you know how much I love you?”

  “As much as the whole ocean?”

  “More. You are the light of my life. And soon, we’re going to have a new house, and you’re going to have a new room with a big bed and lots of windows so you can look out at the trees and the stream–”

  “Do you think there’s fish in the stream, Mom?”

  “Probably.”

  “I’m gonna fish it every day.”

  “I bet you will.” She looked out over the gray waters and at the seagulls arguing on the shore.

  “I’m getting cold, Mom. Can we go now?”

  “Sure, sweetie. Hey, how about a hot chocolate on the way home?”

  “And a doughnut?”

  “Sure.” She helped him down, and the two of them made their way back along the beach through the shifting sands. It had been what she needed, and by all appearances, Nate, too.

  Neil unrolled a large sheet of paper on his desk and motioned Janet with a tremulous gesture to come have a look. She stepped up to his side and saw a sprawling plan with a broad, wrap-around porch. In the back of the house lay a large kitchen with a cooking island separating the room from a breakfast nook. A series of windows and doors raced around the two rooms and looked out onto a multi-tiered deck. A large fireplace dominated what he had labeled a ‘Great Room’ just off the foyer. Nate’s bedroom sat on the east end and theirs on the west. Her studio lay down the hall from their bedroom past his office.

  “It’s preliminary for right now,” he said pointing out things. “I still have to work on the master bath and bedroom. Your office, of course, will need tweaking. But it’s a start. After dinner tonight, why don’t we sit down and start fleshing things out?”

  Janet said, “I can’t believe we’re really building a house.”

  Neil smiled. “You want me to pinch you?”

  She shot him a sly grin. “You want to start something we can’t finish ‘til later on?”

  “Promise?”

  She slapped his arm. “You know, you’ve turned into a dirty old man.”

  “Thank-you,” he said. “What a nice compliment.” He pulled her close and kissed her square on the lips. “I’ll be down in a minute. Oh, and by the way,” he added with a wink, “I have an announcement to make, so a bottle of wine might be in order.”

  She thought about asking what it might be, but changed her mind. Not that she could’ve gotten it out of him, not after the way he pulled off his anniversary gift to her. Well, she had been working on an announcement of her own. Trevor had answered her letter and while his response was guarded to the idea of seeing his father again, he didn’t say, ‘no’, either, and that was encouraging. He told her to write back or give him a call and they’d talk more about it.

  “I’ve decided, I’m going to retire,” Neil said after sipping his wine.

  Nate kept right on eating, but Janet’s fork froze in mid-air and she put it back down on the plate and eyed him. “Are you sure? You told me once you wanted to work ‘til you couldn’t lift a pencil.”

  “I know, but when I said it, I was in a different frame of mind. I think this new house’ll keep me plenty busy, and besides, it’s high time I spent time with Nate, here.”

  Nate looked up. “What?”

  “You’re father wants to spend more time with you,” Janet said, “So he’s retiring.”

  “Oh, cool.” He drained his glass of milk and ran his arm across his mouth. “Can I be excused?”

  “I guess,” she said. “Your homework done?”

  He hesitated.

  “Nate!”

  The boy threw his arms up. “Oh, Mom. I’ll do it when I get home.”

  “No, you’ll do it now,” she insisted and shot a glance at Neil, but he was looking elsewhere, as if lost in thought, except it looked more like confused. “Neil?” she said, suddenly alarmed. “You okay?”

  He came to himself. “Uh … yes. What is it?”

  “Your son needs to do his homework before he goes out to play, don’t you agree?”

  “Nate, homework, now,” Neil said, jerking his thumb toward the hallway.

  Nate thumped across the room. “I never get to do anything!”

  “Yeah, I know, life’s tough,” Janet answered. She listened for the telltale sign of Nate’s footsteps going upstairs and when she heard them, said, “You’re sure you feel all right? For a minute there, you had me worried.”

  “I’m fine. Just thinking is all.”

  “About what?”

  He set his glass down. “What it will be like not going into work the first time. It’ll be strange after all these years not having to get up and be somewhere.”

  The foundations went in as soon as weather permitted and the house began to take shape. Originally, it had been for just the three of them, but after some thought, they decided to add a wing for Janet’s father and sell the house he lived in. Oddly enough, William didn’t argue with them about moving in, except to say, not right away. He wanted to keep his independence for as long as possible as well as staying out of the middle of things. So they found him a small apartment and put the house on the market, reducing Janet’s real estate empire–as Neil liked to call it–to just two properties.

  Janet stood, camera in hand, on hard-packed soil leading up to their future garage with Neil by her side. A pair of carpenters were busy setting another of the long span timbers making up the vaulted roof over the Great Room. They watched the men bolt the member to the wooden column and the ridge beam above.

  “So once they get all the timbers in place, they start framing in?” Janet said, pointing upward. She took a couple of shots.

  “Sort of,” Neil replied. “Post and beam construction is trickier than conventional construction. Things need to be worked out well in advance. Like electric and plumbing runs so you don’t have exposed conduit and pipes on the inside.” He pointed to a wall that had been started around the side and led her to it.

  “See how it’s constructed? This is called a panelized wall. They laminate rigid insulation between the interior finish and exterior sheathing in advance of installing the section. The wiring is pre-installed in the shop and when it comes to the site, they just connect it all up like a big tinker-toy set.”

  Janet nodded. It seemed so easy, yet difficult at the same time. “So once they get going on the exterior walls, it’ll go fast.”

  “Lightning quick. Come along with me. I have something to show you.” He took her hand and guided her through the construction debris to the other end of the house where they stepped into the high gr
asses running behind the property. They walked past tall Douglas fir, cedar and hazelnut until they came to a gentle rise crowned in budding buttercup and sweat pea. A slender birch bough hung above a spot overlooking a sparkling little stream. “What do you think?” he said.

  “About what?”

  “Putting Barney, here.”

  She felt her throat tighten and put her hand to her mouth. “It’s perfect.” She took his hand. Squeezed it. Sometimes, you amaze me, husband.

  21

  December 23,1996 –

  Janet put the finishing touches on the Austrian Pine that dominated the Great Room. The tree sparkled, showering reds, yellows, blues, and greens against the wood paneled walls. The tall windows overlooking the valley threw her reflection back at her as she stood on the upper rung of the stepladder.

  Placing the silver seven-pointed star over the top spire of the tree, she glanced down at her husband. Dressing the Christmas tree had once been his job. Now, at sixty-seven, and with his Parkinson’s starting to rage, he had grudgingly let the job fall to her.

  “It looks splendid,” he said, his mottled and bony hands tightly gripping the ladder rails.

  Translated, you can get down now dear before you hurt yourself. She moved a family ornament, a small red teapot, to another branch and climbed down. Over the last year the rustic ‘post and beam’ constructed house seemed to have gotten larger.

  He stirred beside her. “When’s everyone due?”

  She folded the stepladder. “Around five or so.”

  “Where’s Nate?”

  “Over at Jessica’s. I told him to be home before things get started.”

  “Is he bringing her along?”

  She smiled. Neil was quite taken by the pretty brunette girl down the road who had become his son’s friend. He thought she was a good influence on him. “I believe so,” she said, heading toward the kitchen with the ladder in hand.

  “Good,” he said, following up behind her. “I must say I like her much better than the rest of the kids around here.”

  “Do you?” Janet said, opening the mudroom door.

  “Yes. She’s a smart little whip–polite, too.”

  Janet had to agree. Kids were getting a little too full of themselves these days, not to mention down right nasty and cruel to those that didn’t fit in with their self-centered world. She hung up the ladder and stepped back into the kitchen to check the turkey for the party. As she pulled it out to baste it, she saw Neil lift a cookie off the wire cooling rack.

  “What’re you doing?” she said.

  “Having one of your ginger snaps,” he announced.

  “Put that back! They’re for tonight. And don’t look at me like that. It’ll get you nowhere. By the way, did you sign Megan’s Christmas card yet? I left it on your dresser.”

  He cleared his throat. “Not yet.”

  She sighed. “Well, she’s going to be here in a couple of hours, so don’t forget.”

  “I know, I know,” he grumbled.

  She pushed the turkey back in the oven, shut the door and stepped over to him. As she put her hand to his stubbled cheek she said, “You, my dear, need a shave.”

  “Do I? What if I told you I was thinking about growing a beard?”

  “Really? Well, it’s your face, so do what you want,” she said, and kissed him.

  An hour later, the Great Room hummed with Christmas carols and the banter of family and friends. Megan’s son, Kyle, and his girlfriend, Debbie sat on the raised stone hearth sipping sodas.

  Brad, along with her father and Craig and his son, Joe, inspected the variety of finger foods on the buffet as they argued over the prospects of a Patriot-Seahawk Super Bowl match-up.

  As Janet sliced cheese for a cracker tray, Megan came beside her and lowered her voice. “Why hasn’t my father shaved?”

  Janet smiled politely. “He’s growing a beard.”

  “A beard!” Megan said. “He hasn’t had a beard in years.”

  “I know,” Janet remarked. She helped herself to a slice of cheese and offered one to Megan as she anxiously thought about her surprise to Neil.

  Megan shook her head. “I don’t like it on him.”

  “I don’t know,” Janet said. “It might turn out all right. Besides, shaving’s difficult for him now.”

  That seemed to settle the issue because Megan had no further comment. The woman picked up a knife, pitched in with the preparations and remained quiet while they worked side by side. Finally, she looked up, “So, where’s Nate?”

  “He’ll be here shortly. He’s bringing a girl from down the road.”

  Megan lifted her brow. “A girl?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Really? That’s nice,” Megan said.

  “Yes it is,” Janet replied, wondering what Megan was thinking. She placed a bunch of grapes in the center of the cheese-and-cracker tray and appraised it.

  Megan plucked a piece of celery from a bowl and ran it through an open tub of dip. She lowered her voice. “So when’s my big brother supposed to show up?”

  “He said around seven,” Janet replied. “His flight was delayed in Chicago.” God, I hope this doesn’t blow up in my face.

  A minute later, the front door opened, and in walked Nate with Jessica. The girl slipped out of her boots and jacket. Almond shaped eyes and a dazzling smile lit the room.

  “I was just about to call you and find out where you were,” Janet said, taking their coats. She pulled back and suddenly found herself wondering how her twelve-year-old son had grown up so fast.

  But Janet’s longing gaze didn’t register, and he turned to Jessica and said, “You want something to drink?”

  “Yeah, that’d be great,” Jessica said, darting her dark brown eyes over the room nervously.

  “And how is Jessica today?” Neil said, shuffling over.

  “Hi, Mr. Porter,” Jessica gushed. “Good, thank you.”

  “I hope you’re hungry,” Neil said. “We’ve got a house full of food. By the way, how are your studies at school?”

  “They’re good,” Jessica said.

  “Still interested in architecture?”

  “Neil, honey, let’s not hi-jack Nate’s friend okay?” Janet commented.

  “It’s okay, Mrs. Porter. I don’t mind,” Jessica said as Nate returned with a soda.

  Twenty minutes later the doorbell rang. Janet looked up at the clock. It was just after seven. It had to be Trevor. She took a deep breath, went to the door and opened it.

  “Janet?”

  She looked at the man with a woman standing by his side. He was tall with short-cropped red hair and a strong roman nose. Deep blue eyes peered out through wire-rimmed glasses.

  “Trevor?”

  “That’s me, and this is my wife, Nadia.”

  Janet opened her arms and wrapped them around him. “Come in,” she said. “Your father’s out in the dining room. I can’t tell you how good it is to finally meet you.” And how nervous I am. “How was your flight?”

  “Long, but we’re here,” Trevor said as they parted.

  “Nadia, the picture Trevor sent doesn’t do you justice.”

  Nadia smiled politely. “Thank-you. What a beautiful house you have,” she said as Janet pulled the door shut behind them.

  “Does he know yet?” Trevor said as he stepped out of his boots and removed his coat.

  “I haven’t said a word.”

  “I was sort’a hoping you’d tell him, but I suppose you know best. Megan here?”

  Janet took Nadia’s coat and hung it up. “Yes. Why don’t you stay put right here, and I’ll go get him.” Well, here goes. She walked out to the dining room and found Neil at her ginger snaps again. “I thought I told you they were for later.”

  He grinned. “Well, later is now. Who was at the door?”

  “Come see for yourself,” she said. As he looked at her quizzically, she took his hand.

  “I detect a bit of mischief. What’re you up to?”
<
br />   “You’ll see. Come on.” She led him around the table and across the Great Room toward the foyer. When they rounded the corner, he stopped and she felt his hand squeeze her fingers.

  “Hi Dad,” Trevor said.

  Neil’s face tightened. “Trevor.” He glanced at Janet and the air ran out of the foyer as they stared at each other. Finally, Neil said, “You look good.”

  Trevor nodded. Cleared his throat. “This is my wife, Nadia.”

  “Trevor’s told me a lot about you,” she said.

  Neil tore his gaze off of Trevor and fixed Nadia with a friendly smile. “I bet.” He darted an eye back at his son then at Janet. “Well, let’s get you introduced around,” he said.

  As Trevor ushered Nadia ahead of him, he leaned close to Neil. “I know a lot has happened between us, but I’m hoping maybe…”

  Neil pursed his lips. “I loved your mother.”

  “I know,” Trevor said just above a whisper. “It was hard to let go. I was angry … at everyone, not just at you. And then we stopped talking and the days turned to months and I didn’t know how to begin again.”

  “It was hard on everyone,” Neil said, regarding his son watchfully. Janet knew her husband was waiting for an apology, an acknowledgement that he had done all he could.

  “Yeah,” Trevor said, and he glanced at Janet as if trying to gauge what to say next. He pressed his lips together. “Are you upset I’m here?”

  Neil shook his head. “No … no, I’m not. I take it Janet is responsible for your appearance?”

  He smiled. “Sort of.”

  Neil fixed Janet with a knowing gaze. “Just what I thought.” He put his arm out and pulled Trevor toward him. “It’s good to have you back home.”

  Neil led Trevor and Nadia into the Great Room. “Everyone, I’d like you to meet my son, Trevor. He, and his wife, Nadia, have traveled all the way from Germany to be with us for the holidays.”

  A frenzy of hugs and patting on the back ensued, and as Trevor and Nadia basked in the greetings, Janet saw Megan’s jaw stiffen. “Hey, Sis, long time no see,” he said, stepping up to her.

  Megan pasted a smile on her face and leaned into him for a brief hug that amounted to nothing more than a light brush. Janet sighed. Come on Megan; let things be for just one night.