Rekindling the Widower's Heart
Page 18
“Do you have any idea,” he continued, his voice ragged, “what it’s like to always be counting the pills in a medicine cabinet to see if any are missing? Living in fear when someone you love is even a few minutes late getting home from an errand? To see the confusion in your children’s eyes when Mom locks herself in a darkened bedroom and won’t come out for days?”
Delaney ran a comforting hand along his arm. He flinched, but didn’t move away. Please God, hold him close. Comfort him.
He turned toward her, his eyes shadowed. “I’m sorry to dump this on you, Delaney, but there’s something else you need to understand.”
“It wasn’t your fault, Luke.”
“No?” He gave a harsh chuckle. “In all honesty, Delaney, those last months drained me. Mentally, emotionally, spiritually. I was running on nothing but fumes. Trying to meet my obligations at the army base. To see to Marsha’s needs. To be mom and dad to three kids, the youngest barely out of diapers.”
He gazed up at the moon, the shadows from the pine branches etching his face. “One day, far from the prying eyes of others, I finally broke down. Demanded from God to know why, if Marsha wanted to get away from me so badly...why didn’t she get it over with and grant all of us merciful relief?”
Tears pricked Delaney’s eyes. “Oh...Luke.”
His jaw hardened, lost in the memories of that tragic time. “I was instantly appalled for thinking that, for having such little faith in God. I immediately asked forgiveness and set my heart on seeing the situation through, to be the rock my wife and kids needed me to be.”
She reached out to take his hand. That big strong hand which had fought in wars and cradled his babies.
“Not too many days afterward...” He sucked in a breath, then slowly let it out. “I found her on the floor of the garage, the car engine running.”
Delaney squeezed his hand as he swallowed hard, no doubt envisioning that horrifying scene.
“Thank God she’d dropped the kids off for a sleepover with friends. I’d gotten caught up in emergencies on the base, so was running late. I’d... I’d even stopped on the way home to pick up a bouquet of Marsha’s favorite flowers.”
He looked down at her, eyes bleak. “I’ve always wondered, you know, if she sensed the desperation of that day when I’d broken down before God. When I’d as good as wished her dead and that’s why—”
“Luke, no! Don’t even think that.”
“But now you can clearly see, Delaney, that I’m not the man you think I am.” He grasped her by the arms and firmly set her aside. “I’m not the man for you, and I will never take another woman as my wife.”
* * *
“I can’t believe you’re still planning to leave Hunter Ridge.” Grady’s accusing voice cut through the quiet of Luke’s Hideaway office.
Moving away from the window, Luke met his brother’s irritated gaze. “Believe it.”
“You know it’s going to kill Mom and Grandma Jo to see you and the kids leave. It’s like a pall descended on this place ever since you made the announcement.”
“Don’t go thinking it was an easy decision to make. It wasn’t. But it’s time.”
“Time for what? What can Kansas offer you that Hunter Ridge can’t?”
Delaney wasn’t there, for one thing. There’d been no sign of her at the project house today, the day after his confession. Had he so let her down that she couldn’t even bear to see his face? But what could he expect, having bluntly told her how he’d faltered in his faith? That wasn’t something that would endear him to many women, not even one as sweet-spirited as Delaney Marks.
A knot tightening in his stomach, Luke again faced the window to stare out at the property that in another month would no longer be his home.
When he’d walked away from her last night, heart aching and fearful of seeing the inevitable rejection in her eyes, she’d followed him to his truck. There she’d quietly informed him that she’d been offered a job with her former employer and would be leaving town at the end of the project.
No way did he believe Delaney wanted to return to that job in California. She’d dreamed of making a go of her jewelry-making talents, but that would take time and effort under the direction of a skilled mentor. Would she find someone like that elsewhere? Find the time out of her demanding workday to further pursue her dream? Returning to her old job was far from her heart’s desire, but what alternative had he offered her?
In the span of six short years he’d managed to let down the two most important women in his life.
Good going, Hunter. Nice track record.
But he’d pushed himself hard, pressed the kids and other volunteers this week and they were almost done. They’d make that deadline for Delaney.
“Luke?” Grady punched him roughly in the shoulder. “Are you even listening to me? What can Kansas offer you that Hunter Ridge can’t?”
Reluctantly, Luke turned to his brother. Maybe Delaney was right. He needed to come clean with the family.
“We skate around the truth, but we both know Dad’s never forgiven me for not following in his footsteps.” Luke motioned to his computer screen, the cursor on a payroll spreadsheet blinking in silent confirmation. “Get real, Grady. Bookkeeping isn’t enough. Sure, I’m grateful to have had a job here. To have had family help me with the kids as I struggled to come to terms with Marsha’s death. But there’s no future for me here.”
“You don’t think so?”
“I know so.”
“Then I think—” Grady leveled a determined gaze on him “—we’d better have a talk with Dad.”
* * *
“Dad’s letting me go on a camping trip with Nelson and Kendrick. And get this—he’s not inviting himself along.” Standing in a church hallway Sunday morning where he and Anna had caught Delaney for a whispered conversation, Travis fist-punched the air. “He’s okayed my buying a truck, too.”
Delaney couldn’t help but smile at his excitement, marveling that Luke had encouraged his son to go on this adventure. But nevertheless, a ripple of apprehension touched her at the thought of the boys out in the wilderness on their own. Suddenly she understood it hadn’t been an easy decision for Luke to make.
“Honestly, I think Dad’s going bonkers,” Anna confided with a laugh. “Did you notice I’m wearing a bit of makeup this morning? And he said Chloe can go to a friend’s sleepover.”
“And best of all?” Travis leaned forward. “We’re not moving to Kansas.”
“You’re not moving?” Delaney was stunned at Luke’s one-eighty. “What happened?”
“Dad’s worked out a deal with Grandpa and Uncle Grady to transition from bookkeeping into financial oversight. He’s really stoked and so are they. He said he couldn’t believe how close he came to making a big mistake.”
It was evident that Luke’s kids were thrilled by their dad’s sudden transformation. But did it change anything for her?
“You’ll be at the project house this afternoon, won’t you, Delaney? For the dedication?” Anna looked at her hesitantly. “We’ve missed you.”
“I’ve been there, behind the scenes.” Anytime Luke’s truck wasn’t there. “I wouldn’t miss the dedication for the world.”
“Good. It wouldn’t have happened without you. Without you and Dad, I mean.”
Travis gave his sister a sharp look as if to silence her. What had Luke told them about their relationship? About her absence? Did they know she’d be leaving town soon?
“Delaney!” Surprised, she turned at the sound of her name, Anna and Travis scattering as a smiling Benton Mason approached, hand-in-hand with Samantha. How long had it been since the Masons had felt comfortable coming to church? “Sorry to interrupt, but I have to tell you that last night I saw the piece you’re working on at the gallery studio. Magnifico!”
“Your best work in my humble opinion. If you keep this up, in a year or two the Co-op will be begging you to join.”
Delaney’s heart sank, but she kept her tone light. “Unfortunately, Benton, membership is only open to those living in Hunter Ridge or the surrounding area. I’ll be leaving town in a few days.”
“What?” His bushy brows lowered. “When did you intend to tell me about this?”
“The change in plans came up suddenly. A job offer that I can’t turn down.”
“I’m sorry to hear that. I’ll miss our sessions. But if you keep honing your skills, someday you may be able to kiss that job goodbye.”
He sounded sincere, and she knew that the opportunity to teach her his trade had increased his self-worth.
He shifted his gaze to his daughter, his expression softening, then focused again on Delaney. “I can’t thank you enough for fixing up the house. For the prayers. A listening ear. Few people here in town know the whole story or would care to hear it even if they were given the opportunity. Which, I admit, I haven’t given many. But thank you for a second chance.”
He thrust his hand out for a shake, then thought better of it and pulled her into a quick embrace. “I wish you the best, Delaney.”
“You, too, Benton.”
She watched as her mentor—and how quickly he’d truly become one—again took his daughter’s hand and headed toward the sanctuary.
“I couldn’t help but overhear.”
Delaney’s heart leaped and she turned at the sound of Luke’s voice as he stepped out from a side hallway.
“What,” he continued, his gaze probing, “did Benton mean by ‘the whole story’?”
Chapter Eighteen
Post-traumatic stress disorder.
Standing next to his truck at the project house that afternoon, Luke shook his head, remembering what the somber-eyed Delaney had reluctantly told him before hurrying off to the morning service. It wasn’t her place to tell, she’d said somewhat tersely, avoiding eye contact as she made certain that no one else overheard them. Knowing how he felt about the Masons, though, she thought he needed to know.
After a few minutes, she was gone, leaving him standing alone in the empty hallway. He’d desperately wanted to reach out to her and—what? He had nothing to offer her that would banish the hurt from her eyes.
But Benton’s PTSD? That explained a lot of things. The marriage difficulties. The drinking problem. Why he stayed closemouthed about his army background and didn’t attempt to bond with others, like Luke, who’d shared similar experiences. Why he clung to the small town and to his art—both something he perceived as a less stressful means of supporting his family. How was it possible that in such a short time Delaney had learned what an entire town had failed to see?
Lesson learned, Lord. Not to judge so you won’t be harshly judged yourself.
Luke secured his pickup’s tool chest as the last car—except for Delaney’s—pulled away. The dedication ceremony had been a moving one, with the youth group, extended Hunter family, and Benton and Lizzie and their children—including an appreciative Drake—present. Even Delaney’s aunt, her friend Paris and several others from Canyon Springs had attended. Now it would no longer be a summer project but a family’s new home, a place for a fresh start.
He turned to Travis, who was loading a ladder into the truck bed. “Where’d Delaney get off to?”
“She went back inside. She said she wanted to take one last look around before the Masons started moving stuff in. I think she intended to leave something special for Samantha.” Travis peeled off his work gloves and tucked them in his belt. “Are you ready to leave now? I’d kind of like to run in and thank her. You know, for everything. She’ll be gone by the time I get back from the camping trip.”
Luke moved to the driver’s door. He should probably say goodbye, too. Not leave that last strained conversation as their final memory. Then again, what else could be said? “Go ahead. Take your time. No hurry.”
“Thanks.” Travis gave him a hesitant smile. “You know, Dad, for a while there I thought...you know, that maybe you and Delaney...”
Travis’s face reddened.
“As much as we all care for her, son, she has a life of her own to get back to.”
“I know, but I bet she’d stay if you—”
Luke’s heart hitched. “Don’t go there, Travis. Some things aren’t meant to be.”
His son scuffed the toe of his boot in the gravel, looking as if he wanted to say more. Then he spun away and headed toward the house. With a weary shake of his head, Luke opened the truck door and slipped behind the wheel. A light breeze touched his cheek, and in the distance thunder rumbled, an apt accompaniment to the heaviness settling into his soul.
No, some things weren’t meant to be.
“Dad!”
The fear in Travis’s voice jerked his attention toward the house where his son stood just inside the open screen door, motioning wildly. In a flash, Luke leaped from the truck, his booted feet pounding up the drive.
Travis held the door open wider. “It’s Delaney! I think she’s unconscious!”
Heart racing, Luke bounded onto the porch, pushing past his son and into the entry. “Where is she? Where—”
Bile rose in his throat at the sight of Delaney sprawled faceup on the living room floor, her golden hair spread out around her. Before he could stop it, the image of his nightmares hurtled him back in time.
Marsha. On the cold, concrete floor of the garage.
The remembered stench of car exhaust filled his nostrils. Please, no, God. Please.
“Dad?”
At the sound of Travis’s voice he jerked back to the present, instantly dropping at Delaney’s side to gently squeeze her shoulder. “Delaney, can you hear me?”
Receiving no response, he wove his fingers through the silky softness of her hair to the pulse point alongside her neck. A pulse. And she was breathing, her airway unblocked. No sign of blood. Thank You, God. Relief plowing through him, he nearly pulled her into his arms, but common sense reigned. Not knowing the injuries she may have sustained, he didn’t dare move her.
“What...happened, Travis?” He could barely get the words out as he reached for her hand.
“I don’t know. About the time I got to the front door, I heard a thud and something crash—probably that lamp—then found her like this.”
Luke glanced around the partially furnished room, registering a toppled floor lamp and a footstool which had skidded across the wooden floor to rest against the new rocker. Had she slipped and fallen? Fainted?
He thrust his cell phone at Travis who took it from him with shaking hands. “Call 911. Tell them she may have fallen. Hit her head. No known medical conditions.”
“She’s going to be okay, isn’t she?” Travis’s voice quavered as he punched in the number, then held the phone to his ear.
As his son reported Delaney’s condition and location, Luke gently brushed her hair away from her face.
His beautiful Delaney.
Swallowing hard, he patted her hand. “Delaney?”
Please. Please, God. I can’t lose another woman I love. Not Delaney. Not before...
A soft moan escaped her lips and she turned her head slightly.
He leaned in closer. “Don’t move. You’ve hurt yourself.”
Her eyelids flickered and he glanced back at Travis. “Tell them she may be regaining consciousness. Then throw me that afghan that’s on the rocker.”
“Rest easy there.” He squeezed her hand. “Everything’s going to be okay.”
Her hand tightened on his as her confused eyes fluttered open.
“Luke?”
“Right here, babe.” He took the afghan from Travis and with his free hand shook it open and tucked it in around her.
A faint smile touched her lips as she struggled to focus on him. Orient herself to her surroundings.
“What happened?”
“I was hoping you could tell me.”
She closed her eyes again, her breathing coming more evenly. Was she fading away into unconsciousness again?
Then came a soft giggle.
She must be delirious. “Delaney?”
Her eyes opened again and a smile broadened. Then raising her other hand, she held out what appeared to be a five-inch piece of blue ribbon clenched between her fingers. “Got it.”
She wasn’t making any sense.
She pointed a finger upward, toward the top of the spindled staircase. “Someone missed the painter’s tape. You’d already put the ladder away. But I got it. See?”
Triumphantly she waved the blue strip in his face.
He didn’t know whether to shake her until her teeth rattled or pull her into his arms and never let her go.
But now wasn’t a good time for either option. With the sound of an approaching siren, he knew the paramedics would be walking in any second.
Delaney struggled to sit up, but he placed a firm hand on her shoulder. “Hang on. Let’s let these medical folks check you out. You could have a concussion or something.”
And if she did, he’d take her back to Hunter’s Hideaway for however long it took for her to recover. He could—
“If she’s okay to travel, I’ll take her back to Canyon Springs tonight.”
Startled at the sound of a feminine voice, Luke turned to see Delaney’s friend Paris standing just inside the door where Travis was waving down the paramedics. What was she doing here?
“I left my jacket on the fence,” she said in response to his questioning look, “and had to come back to get it.”