Hannah (The Hawthorne Sisters)

by Ava Catori

  “Hannah. I’m sorry those words didn’t come out in a more romantic way. I’d meant to…” he stopped. Finding his ground, he spoke. “They’re true. I do love you.”

  Hannah smiled and wrapped herself around him, her arms circling Bryce’s waist. “And I love you. Go get your sister.”

  Bryce walked Hannah out to her truck. Watching her pull out of his driveway, he knew with everything inside of him that she was his future. He had no doubts. But right now, he had to deal with the past. Getting into his truck, he headed into town to see the sheriff and bail out his sister once again.

  Hannah pulled into her driveway, and thought about the words he said. They weren’t forced; they came out so naturally. She knew Bryce was her future. There was no question in her mind.

  Stopping in the kitchen, she grabbed a bottle of soda and headed to her room. Lost in thought, she lingered on the evening. It took all of her self-control to keep from doing things she shouldn’t. Her body ached to be touched. She craved him near her, and knew it was only a matter of time before she gave in to her desires. She saw it in him, too. His urges were strong, and yet he held back out of respect for her. She was getting closer to giving in, giving them both want they so desperately wanted.

  She wanted to feel his hands caressing her, his mouth on her skin, and their bodies pressed together in a sweet lover’s dance. She wanted to make love to him, to surrender her body to his needs, and to experience the bond it would bring to their relationship. She knew it would be soon. She couldn’t wait much longer.

  When Bryce showed up at the sheriff’s office, he had the same conversation he’d had dozens of times before. The sheriff expected him, even when he said he wasn’t coming. He knew their patterns well. Bryce grew tired of his sister’s adventures, he’d threaten not to get her, and then he’d show up anyway.

  “Sorry it didn’t last.” The sheriff tipped his hat.

  “Yeah, me too.” Bryce sighed, and waited for his sister to be released to him.

  “I know what you’re going to say…” She was already ranting, not wanting to hear his disappointment. “You don’t understand.”

  “No, Bev, I don’t understand. Take responsibility for your life. Stop being a burden on society, on me, and grow the hell up.” He’d had enough.

  “Nice way to talk to your sister,” she snapped.

  Climbing up into his truck, she crossed her arms and stared out the window. The last thing she needed was a lecture. She had a pounding headache coming on, and her stomach was knotted up from mixing too many drinks.

  Bryce sat beside his sister. “It’s the last time, Bev. I mean it. I won’t bail you out anymore. I need to live my own life, not spend it rescuing you.”

  Starting the truck, he pulled away from the sheriff’s office and headed down the road.

  “Why don’t you just take us both out,” she yelled. “Save us from the misery.” She reached over, grabbing the steering wheel.

  Bryce held fast as his sister tried to yank the wheel, to veer them off the road. Bryce knew in that moment what he had to do. He slammed on his breaks and pulled over.

  “Get out! You may want to end your life, but I’ll be damned if you take me out with you. I’ve tried to save you, but you’re the only one who can do it. I love you, Beverly, but not enough to let you destroy my life too.”

  She stared at him, not believing her ears.

  “I mean it, Bev. Get out of my truck. You’re an adult. It’s time to take responsibility for your actions. I’m done. Don’t contact me until you’re sober. I can’t do this anymore.”

  Opening the door, she slowly got out, making sure he was serious. He’d never been more serious.

  “I’m sorry, Bev, but tonight was the last straw.”

  Closing the truck door, she stood on the side of the road watching her brother’s truck drive away, his tail lights fading in the distance.

  Bryce looked in the rearview mirror at his sister standing there. His heart shattered, but he kept driving. It was for her own good. When she tried to cause an accident, he knew it was time to let go. He couldn’t risk his life that way. He needed to cut her from his life until she was healthy, or he’d be dragged down with her.

  Hot tears ran down his face. Wiping them away with the sleeve of his jacket, he headed back home. The drive felt long and lonely. This was the only way. She had a disease. Until she got help, until she wanted to get better, she’d be chasing her tail in a vicious circle of agony. She needed to learn to forgive herself, because only then would she accept life didn’t have to be what she was making of it.

  Bryce’s heart was heavy. Climbing into bed that night, sleep wouldn’t come. He barely slept, and wanted to at least check in on her, making sure she got home safely. It was a mistake. He needed to cut her off, and yet he kept going back. When he went to her apartment, she was gone. He let himself in with his spare key. Her clothes and some of her belongings were gone. Bryce slammed the door shut behind him. There was no note, no message, only an empty closet.

  Driving home, the frustration and anger mounted. He’d gone through the trouble of saving her ass one too many times, and this is how she thanked him? Leaving without a note - nothing? It was his fault. He threw her out of his truck in the middle of the night, tossing her on the side of the road like a rag doll.

  Pulling into his driveway, he hopped out of the truck and walked to the barn. Pushing things over, yelling, it didn’t make it better, but it helped him vent out his frustration. Hannah walked in just as he slammed his fist into the beam, roaring with pain.

  She ran to him. “What’s going on?”

  The look in his eyes frightened her. She’d never seen him this way. “Just leave me be,” he shot out.

  “Bryce?”

  “Not now, Hannah.” His voice was booming and strong. His hand throbbed, and his anger was still raging out of control.

  Hannah backed away and then ran to her truck, crying.

  “Shit.” Bryce mumbled under his breath, realizing what he’d just done. Chasing after her, he shouted, “Hannah, wait.” She shook her head, and pulled out of the driveway. This wasn’t the man she loved. This was somebody who couldn’t control his rage and emotions. That wasn’t a man she saw in there, it was a monster.

  Bryce wanted to chase after her, talk to her, help her understand, but his hand needed attention. Cursing under his breath, he went to tend to his body. Filling the sink with water and ice, he buried his hand in the cold water, helping to bring the swelling down. It hurt to move his fingers, and he realized the damage he might have done. His stupidity would cost him dearly.

  He’d pushed his sister away, scared the girl he loved, and damaged his body. What else could go wrong?

  Chapter 10

  Bryce stood with his hand in the cold water. Clenching his teeth, he realized how foolish it was to smash his fist like that. His sister was a grown woman. She’d have to take care of herself. It’s what he wanted anyway, right? He’d grown so used to cleaning up her messes. It was all he knew anymore.

  She’d come find him or call, eventually. She’d find trouble, and had nobody else to bail her out. Cautiously wrapping his hand with some bandages, Bryce cringed as he secured the edge with a metal binder clip.

  He needed to talk to Hannah. Should he call, or go see her? Would she even want to talk to him after what she saw?

  There was only one way to find out. Bryce headed out to his truck, realizing he used his right hand for damn near everything. Maneuvering with his left hand, he started his truck and drove down the road.

  When Gretta answered the door, he was almost relieved. Hannah might just take one look at him and slam the door. “Is Hannah here?”

  “She is. One moment, please.”

  When she came down the hallway and saw him standing there, she didn’t know what to say. Part of her wanted to run into his arms, help mend his hand and make it all better. The other part of her realized she only knew the pieces of Bryce that he let her se
e.

  “Can we talk?”

  She nodded, and grabbed a jacket. Going outside, they leaned against his truck.

  “Baby, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean for you to see that.”

  “It scared me.”

  “I’m sorry. It wasn’t directed at you.”

  “I know. It’s just that I’ve never seen you like that before.”

  “My sister… it’s a long story.”

  “I’ve got time.”

  Bryce lowered his head. “When I went to bail her out, she tried to run my truck off the road with both of us in it. I threw her out of my truck, told her I was cutting her out of my life. This morning I went to check on her, and she was gone. She left town, or at least her apartment. Most of her things were gone, and her closet was empty.”

  Hannah watched him talk, pain dripping from his pores, guilt shadowing him like a puppet. “How’s your hand?”

  “Truthfully, it hurts.” It was a nervous laughter, not one of delight. “Are you afraid of me?”

  “I don’t think so.”

  “You don’t have to be. I’d never take anything out on you like that. I went to the barn because it was a safe place to vent. Nobody could get hurt but me.”

  “Look what you did to yourself.” Her voice was quiet.

  “Want to ride over to get x-rays with me?”

  “How about I drive?”

  “That sounds good.” He tossed her his keys. “I’m sorry I scared you. It wasn’t my intention. I didn’t know anybody was around. I was just trying to release some steam.”

  “Let’s get your hand fixed.”

  Luckily nothing was broken, though there was some bad swelling. Ice, a compression wrap, and no using it for a while until the swelling subsided. He’d be sore, but he’d heal. Bryce was grateful for the diagnosis, realizing what a mess he’d have gotten himself into if it was broken. He didn’t have the time to let a broken hand heal. He had work to do with winter coming in hard and fast.

  Driving back home, Hannah pulled up to her house. “Take care of yourself.” Hopping out of the truck, she started to head inside.

  Bryce got out of the truck, and saw her to the door. “Can I see you tomorrow?”

  She nodded quietly, reflecting on the day, and handed him his keys. “I’ll check in on you.”

  “I’d like that.”

  She turned and went inside. There was no kiss good-bye, no look between them, just a silence that hung in the air. Something had changed. She cared a great deal for the man, but wasn’t sure what to make of what she’d seen. Violence scared her. It’s not that it was even targeted at her, but seeing him like that left her cold.

  The following day, she went to check on him like she said she would. They’d have to talk. Hannah’s feelings confused her. She couldn’t just turn off the love she felt, and yet seeing him that way, she wasn’t sure what else she might see. What if he regularly went off like that when he was upset? He didn’t seem the type, but she truly couldn’t be sure. What did she really know about him other than what she wanted to see?

  Pulling into his driveway, she clutched her steering wheel and took a deep breath. This wouldn’t be easy. She thought he was the one, but now she wasn’t so sure. Hannah looked at the front door. One foot in front of the other, she could do this. Forcing herself out of her truck, she started for the porch. Standing in front of the door, she couldn’t bring herself to knock. Turning around, she started back for her truck. Behind her, the door opened.

  “Hannah.”

  “Oh, hey,” she said, turning around.

  “Where are you going?”

  She didn’t know what to say, so she said nothing. Looking at Bryce, she went inside.

  “Something’s wrong.” He sensed it in her body language. She usually came directly into his arms. Instead, her arms were crossed tightly over her chest. You could almost see the tension in her shoulders. Hannah’s jaw stiffened as the stress rolled through her.

  “I’ve just been thinking. What do we really know about each other?”

  “Don’t,” he said. “Please don’t make this about anything other than what it is.”

  “Fine.” Hannah took a deep breath, knowing what she had to say. “Seeing you like that – it startled me. It got me thinking that there are a lot of things I don’t know about you. We’ve seen the good in each other, but not the bad. You don’t know that I’m bitchy at certain times, or that I cry over really stupid stuff, or that I laugh at inappropriate times. You don’t know that I’ve never been in love like this before, and I’m scared to death that what we have, what we had, is some kind of illusion.”

  He wanted to take her in his arms, comfort her, but he was almost afraid she’d flinch at his touch. Bryce sat down, dropping his guard, letting his need to be strong fall to the floor.

  “When my parents died, I promised myself I’d take care of Bev. I did the best I could, and she kept getting into trouble. Her life spiraled out of control. I can’t fix her. Lord knows I’ve tried.” Tears started to fall. Bryce dropped his head in his hands. “When you came into my life, I felt alive again. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, Hannah. Whether you believe that or not, it’s the truth. I love you with all my heart. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, make you my wife one day. And the thought that you’re afraid of me crushes me down to my soul. I’d never lift a finger to a woman, never hurt you, and never hurt anyone for that matter. You have to believe me. You’re safe with me.”

  He looked so vulnerable. There was pain in his eyes, along with the fear of losing her. Hannah saw his truth. His heart was open; she just had to accept it.

  Bryce begged her for another chance. “Hannah, please, baby. Don’t walk away. You’re my future, the woman I love.” He saw his world crashing down around him. His chance of happiness was fading away.

  Hannah sat beside him, and quietly placed her hand on his leg. It took her a moment to respond. Finally, she spoke. “I’m not going anywhere.” She leaned into him, letting him cry it out. He finally let go of the years of grief he felt, the responsibility he felt toward his sister, the loss of his parents. Eventually his tears stopped.

  Chapter 11

  November brought a cold front to town. Two feet of snow fell, and then another the following day. Everybody was plowing out of the snow, realizing winter had settled in once and for all. Bryce was up early, clearing out the massive amounts of snow that covered his long drive. He had plenty of cleaning up to do, but plowed down part of the road that led to the Hawthorne’s house to help the girls dig out. Hannah was on their tractor, already pushing some of it out of the way. Between the two of them, they had their main drive and path to the barn cleared. The younger girls were digging out the walkway with shovels.

  “When you free up later, can you come down to my place?”

  Hannah could see his breath as he spoke, the cold air marking it. “Yeah, is everything okay?”

  “Yes. I just wanted to talk to you about something.”

  “Okay, I’ll come by after we’re done here.”

  Gretta had a batch of hot chocolate going, and was ready when the crew came inside. With an invitation to join them for Thanksgiving, Bryce thanked Gretta, said his good-byes, and headed on his way. Going back home, he needed to finish clearing up what nature had left behind at his own house. The snow was heavy over his porch roof, and climbing up, he was able to push most of it off with a long broom.

  Hannah found her way down to his house a little later. She found him in the barn, refreshing Ruby’s bedding and checking her blanket. The weather had snapped colder than they’d anticipated this week.

  “Hey, cowboy.” She shoved her gloved hands into her pockets.

  “Your nose is red.” He smiled, leaned in, and kissed her sweetly. They’d grown back to how things were before, but it took a little doing.

  “About Thanksgiving…” she said, looking down. “If you don’t want to, you don’t have to come.”

 
; “How could I not want to spend Thanksgiving with a house full of women?” Did she have hesitations? “Do you not want me there?”

  “I do want you there. I want you there next year, too.” Her smile melted his heart.

  “It’s a date. Why don’t we go inside and warm up a little bit? I’ve got some fresh muffins.”

  “You know how to bribe a girl.” She laughed, and followed him inside.

  “Are we okay?” He needed to know. He needed Hannah in his life.

  “We’re more than okay.”

  “The last couple of weeks… ”

  She interrupted, “…are behind us.”

  Bryce took her hand in his. “I don’t know what I’d do without you. You’ve become everything to me.”

  “I’m not going anywhere.”

  “I mean it. When I look at you, I see my future. I see endless possibilities. More than anything, I see a family.” He got up and went to get a muffin. When he came back, he handed her one, and then dropped down to one knee.

  Her hand shot up over her mouth and her eyes grew as wide as saucers. “What are you doing?”

  He held a blue velvet box. Opening it, she saw the ring. The diamond gleamed in the light. His voice lowered, crackling a bit, his emotions overriding his words. “Hannah, would you do me the honor of becoming my wife?”

  She sat, stunned. “We almost fell apart.”

  “I wasn’t going anywhere. I’ve known from the moment we got together you were the one for me.”

  “I don’t know what to say.” She looked at Bryce holding his heart in his hand, a ring in a box, and his eyes full of love.

  “I’m hoping you’ll say ‘yes.’”

  She lowered her head. “It’s just so unexpected, and so soon.”

  He stood and closed the box, placing it before her. “When and if you’re ready someday, this will be waiting for you.” He sat back down, heartbroken that she didn’t say yes. He couldn’t hide the sting of rejection. He winced and sighed, looking at the table to avoid looking into her eyes. He was afraid to see her truth.