Nobody's Fantasy

by Louise Hall

  When we get to aunt Mellie’s, it looks like most of the Montgomery clan are already here. My dad’s out back tinkering with somebody’s car. Even though it’s his family, he’s a quiet man and he’s a lot more comfortable with his head under the hood of a car than having to make small talk with his relatives.

  Vada takes Mats with her to find her mom, Mellie and I steer Jane over to where my mom’s putting out cutlery. There’s too many of us to have a fancy sit-down dinner so we’re having a buffet instead. “Mom, there’s somebody I’d like you to meet.”

  Mom turns around and brushes her long, dark hair over her shoulder.

  I try not to smirk as Jane offers her hand to my mom. “I’m Jane; it’s lovely to meet you, Mrs Montgomery.” My girl has literally never sounded so British before. “Thank you so much for letting me and my brother join your family for Christmas.”

  I can tell Mom’s biting the inside of her cheek too. It’s like she’s meeting the Queen of England or something, I half-expect Jane to curtsy next.

  Mom bypasses Jane’s outstretched hand and gives her a hug instead. Jane looks panicked as if she doesn’t know what to do with it.

  “Don’t be silly. You and Mateo are more than welcome. When Zev told me that your flight to Seattle was cancelled, I couldn’t bear the thought of the two of you being alone at Christmas.”

  Mom’s got a twinkle in her eye; she loves to embarrass the heck out of me. “Do you know you’re the first girl my Zev has brought home with him since high-school?”

  Jane looks shocked, “really?” I feel kind of smug that she thinks I’m such a super-stud.

  She seems a lot more comfortable now. There’s a reason my mom is every child’s favourite kindergarten teacher so I leave them chatting and go in search of my dad. As I’m walking through the house, I almost bump into Emmy. “It’s Christmas,” I remind her, just in case she’s got any ideas of being rude to Jane today.

  “Duh,” she growls, pointing to the ridiculous Santa hat plonked on her candy-pink hair. “I know what the date is, dumbass.”

  “Play nice, Emmy,” Mellie reminds her daughter.

  “Thanks again for letting Jane and Mats come today,” I give my aunt a hug.

  “Nonsense,” she insists, “in most cases, the more, the merrier.” I look over my shoulder and see her glaring at Rusty’s girlfriend, Darla.

  “Play nice, Mom,” Emmy mocks.

  When I get outside, I find my dad checking the oil and water in aunt Mellie’s truck. “You’re going to have to socialise with everybody eventually” I tease.

  “Not if I can help it,” he gives me a wry smile.

  “I brought Jane with me. I’d really like you to meet her.”

  Dad reaches for a rag and wipes the grease from his hands. “Is this the British girl Danny was telling us about?”

  I wince because Danny might be my best friend but he isn’t exactly Team Jane and Zev. “That’s right.”

  “You told her about your accident yet?” Dad asks bluntly.

  “Not yet, no.”

  He doesn’t say anything but I can tell he doesn’t approve of me keeping that information from Jane.

  “Food’s almost ready,” Maggie calls from the back door.

  “Shouldn’t you clean up before dinner?” I ask Dad as we head inside. “It’s Christmas, after all.”

  Dad rolls his eyes at me, “if my brother gets to sit down to dinner with all that horrible ink covering his arms and chest then nobody’s going to tell me that I’ve got to get changed. At least I got this,” he gestures to the oil on his forearms, “from doing something useful instead of butchering other people’s skin.” Yeah, my dad’s not exactly a huge fan of tattoos.

  After dinner, we all walk down to the beach which is busy with locals. Danny and his surfer friends are already out in the water. We spread our blankets down on the sand. Big Mike’s dad is playing traditional Hawaiian music on his guitar and there are small clusters of bonfires all the way along the coast.

  “How are you doing, hot stuff?” I pull Jane so she’s sat between my thighs with her back against my chest.

  “I love your family,” she says softly, entwining her delicate fingers with mine. “Today has been amazing. Thank you so much for inviting Mats and I to spend Christmas with you all.”

  “I love you,” I almost blurt out but although we’re snuggled together on the beach, we’re still surrounded by family and friends and when I tell Jane those three little words for the first time, I want it to be a moment shared by just the two of us.

  My nephew, Louis has found a soccer ball from somewhere and he toddles across to Jane asking if she’ll play with him. Maggie follows close behind and I know she’s missing her husband, Jason right now. He’s in the military and stationed in the Middle East. She could definitely do with a break from being a single parent.

  Before I can say anything, Jane has got up off the blanket and is reaching for Louis’ little hand. “Come on then, buddy. Let’s see what you’ve got.”

  “Thank you,” Maggie mouths at Jane as she and Louis wander off to find a patch of empty sand.

  “You should marry her,” Maggie announces as she sits down on the blanket.

  “Keep your voice down,” I glare at my sister. I’ve already almost scared Jane off once by talking about babies, I don’t want to risk doing it again.

  Maggie gives me her patented older-sister stare, “don’t tell me you haven’t thought about it?”

  “Thought about what?” I play dumb.

  “Zevvie,” she trills and I cringe, remembering how Sam used to call me that when she was being particularly annoying.

  “I’m sorry,” Maggie giggles. “It just makes me so happy to see my baby brother finally falling in love.”

  I glare at her again but it bounces straight off her.

  “Who’s in love?” Mom asks as she and Dad join us on the blanket.

  “Zev’s in love with Jane,” Maggie laughs at my discomfort.

  “Of course he is,” Mom chuckles, “he’s his father’s son.” She pats my Dad’s hand. “He’s got excellent taste.”

  “You like her then?” I ask cautiously. After my nasty break-up with Sam, my family’s opinion isn’t everything but it’s important to me.

  Before they can say anything, we hear Louis giggle as he tries to dribble the ball around Jane, who’s also laughing.

  “Duh,” Mom rolls her eyes.

  Jane might have been born over seven thousand miles away but she fits here: in Oahu, with my big, crazy family, with me.

  LOLA

  Mats comes over to join my football match with Louis. I’m grateful for another person who knows that it’s football and not “soccer” we’re playing. Ugh, I really despise that word.

  He’s not exactly sporty but he’s the son of an ex-pro so he knows the basics.

  “Are you having fun?” I ask.

  “Yeah, it was really kind of Vada’s mum to make sure that there was something vegan for me. She didn’t have to do that.”

  “It was,” I look around at the sprawling mass of Montgomerys. “Do you think it’s weird that I don’t wish I was back in Seattle right now but instead that Mum, Dad and everybody else was here? I think they’d love it.”

  Mats chuckles, “can you imagine the epic face-off there’d be between Sierra and Emmy?”

  “We’d make a fortune selling tickets to that showdown.” I duck down to my right as Louis tries to score past me. “As much as Emmy intimidates the bejesus out of me, I’d still put all my money on Sierra and that’s definitely not just family loyalty talking.”

  “Agreed,” Mats shudders. “I don’t think the world’s ready for her to graduate from high school in a few months.”

  “Soccer,” Louis tugs on my dress, reminding me of the game we’re supposed to be playing.

  I kneel down beside him, “it’s football, buddy. You kick the ball with your foot so it’s called foot-ball.”

  “I can’t believe you
’re corrupting my nephew with your English silliness,” Zev joins us.

  “Excuse me, it’s not any kind of silliness. “What you Yanks call “soccer” is actually called “football” in most of the world, including all of Central and South America, the Middle East and most of Europe, Africa and Asia so there.” I kind of ruin my argument by sticking my tongue out him but I’m very protective of my favourite sport.

  Mats looks over at Zev, “yeah, you’re never going to win that one.”

  After it gets dark and we’ve said goodbye to his family, Zev drives me, Mats and Vada home. Mats and Vada head into the kitchen to put away the leftovers Mellie insisted we take home probably because nobody apart from Mats touched the vegan food she’d made.

  Zev follows me upstairs to my bedroom. He doesn’t know it yet but it’s my birthday in a few weeks and I’ve decided that I only want three things. Seeing Zev with his family today has made me realise that I want to take our relationship to the next level: I’m ready to bump those proverbial uglies with Zev although I can’t imagine that there’s anything ugly about the kind and funny man that’s getting changed in my bathroom right now. It might sound mushy but I really think that he’s beautiful right down to his marrow. The second thing I’d like is to see my family in the flesh again because being around Zev’s big, crazy family has made me miss my own with a passion. I want Mum to see how happy I am here so she doesn’t worry about me too much. But with Sierra being in her last year of high-school, I’m probably going to have wait until the summer for that one.

  That just leaves one more item on my list. I reach down and rub my hip dermals which twinkle up at me in the dark room. I want another piercing but I don’t want to go for something safe like my nose or belly button. I’m going to be a year older and I want something daring to mark the occasion. Zev’s still not back from the bathroom so I cover my boobs with my hands because I think the girls are still recovering from the tattoo (they’re such drama queens!) but I want to get my nips pierced.

  I’ve got to talk to Zev about it not because he’s my sorta-boyfriend but because I want him to be the one to do it. The thought of anybody else seeing my boobs sans bra makes me break out in hives but I trust him. He had his doubts beforehand but he did an amazing job with my hip dermals.

  “You’ve got that look in your eye,” Zev smirks as he comes back into the bedroom wearing a white t-shirt and a pair of plaid pyjama pants. I’ve told him before that it’s Hawaii and he doesn’t have to cover up, I’m sure he doesn’t sleep fully dressed like that on the rare occasions that he sleeps alone but he’s adamant that he doesn’t want to risk temptation which makes me feel like a sultry vixen and I’m beyond OK with that.

  “You want another tattoo, don’t you?”

  “Nope,” I shake my head as I climb into bed and I have a moment of indecision because I can’t lie here with my hands covering the girls because Zev will think I’m even more of a weirdo than he already does. I think there might be an acceptable level of weirdness and I don’t want to catapult myself across that imaginary line.

  I drop my hands but pull the covers up, hoping the extra level of fabric will muffle what I’m about to ask Zev from my sensitive girls. “So I was thinking…”

  “We’re not there yet,” Zev says gruffly, thinking about Birthday Wish No 1.

  “You might not be,” I huff, “but I am.”

  He turns to face me and he looks so serious. “Are you sure about this, Jane?”

  “A gazillion times yes,” I lean over and brush my lips against his. We’re interrupted by the sound of Mats and Vada coming up the stairs. “We just need to wait for an empty house.”

  “Anyway,” I shake my head to clear any feelings that can’t be acted upon in a house with walls so thin you kind of wonder how it remains standing. “That wasn’t what I was thinking about before. Well, not just that. I want you to give me something but it’s not a tattoo and it isn’t rude, well it’s ruder than the previous things you’ve given me.” I know I’m rambling but I’m nervous because I really want this and if Zev says he won’t do it, I won’t ask anybody else.

  “Whatever it is, you can tell me,” Zev insists. I feel his stump brush up against my thigh and it gives me courage. I wish I could tell Zev that my name isn’t Jane because I don’t feel like the tragic fictional character that I was named after. I feel like Lola again but Lola version 2.0. I’m not happy because of Zev but I am happy with him if that makes any sense at all?

  “I want another piercing,” I say quietly because I really don’t want my brother to hear this. We might share a house with the thinnest possible walls but we do have boundaries.

  “Whereabouts?” Zev asks.

  “Here,” I point to the girls because it’s way easier than saying it out loud.

  Zev coughs, “you really want to pierce your…”

  “Yeah,” I nod. Please don’t say no.

  “What do you think?” I ask when he’s finally recovered from coughing.

  “You know that I’d have to see them, right?”

  I chuckle, “Really, because I thought asking you to jab a needle into my flesh while you’re wearing a blindfold would be a fabulous idea?”

  “I’ve never seen you like that before,” he seems a little awestruck.

  “Nobody’s ever seen me like that before,” I remind him. “The world’s oldest virgin, remember?”

  “I know you haven’t…”

  He looks so awkward that I bust out laughing. I can’t believe that we’re thinking about doing the deed and while I keep using various proverbs to describe it, my hunk of a sorta-boyfriend is blushing. We’re uber-adorable.

  “I thought you might have fooled around, you know?”

  “I’m starting to think that in some ways my accident was a blessing. I thought I was in love with Noah but we never moved beyond over the clothes stuff and we were both OK with that so maybe we were just really good friends that got confused.”

  Zev’s quiet for a moment and I wonder what he’s thinking. “Will you do it?”

  “Yeah, I’ll do it.”

  ZEV

  When the Ink opens back up again after Christmas, Emmy mentions that Chloe, one of Maggie’s mom friends, has made an appointment to get her nipple piercings redone. She had to take them out to breastfeed her son, Archie but now that he’s on solid foods, she wants to get them put back.

  I’ve done these sorts of piercings before but it’s been a while. I haven’t actually done any since I came back from L.A. I could ask Emmy to supervise like she did with Jane’s hip dermals but even though she’s a woman; I still don’t want anybody else in the room with us when I pierce Jane’s boobs. I want it to be a private moment between the two of us.

  Even though Emmy looks like she might vomit when I ask her, she still offers to talk to Chloe about letting me sit in on her appointment.

  “Of course,” Chloe giggles when Emmy calls her, “I’ve whipped my boobs out in public to feed Archie so many times that I’d be surprised if there’s anybody in Oahu who hasn’t seen them already.”

  When Chloe arrives for her appointment, I can see Jane is struggling to contain her jealousy and it makes me smirk. I love it when my girl gets feisty.

  I must linger a little too long watching Jane because Chloe trills, “are you coming, Zev?”

  Jane narrows her eyes at me.

  “It was your idea, hot stuff,” I remind her, which just makes her scowl even more.

  “I need to warn you before you go in there,” Chloe teases, “you’re going to have to try really hard to control yourself because my boobs literally look like golf balls swinging in knee-length socks thanks to that little sucker.” She motions to Archie, who’s playing in the corner of the store with Louis. Maggie has come along to give her friend some moral support, not that she needs it.

  LOLA

  “I’m going to throat-punch your brother,” I whisper to Maggie as the door closes behind Emmy, Zev and Chloe.

 
; She chuckles, “he’s right though. This was your idea.”

  “A really stupid one. I should have just gone to Big Mike’s and had it done there.”

  “We both know you’d never do that.”

  “Yeah?”

  “You like my brother too much to make his head explode.” She looks at me, “You don’t just like him though, do you? You’ve fallen in love with him.”

  Gah, where did this come from? How did we go from nipple piercings to the l-word?

  Before I can answer, the Ink’s phone rings.

  By the time I’ve finished on the phone, the door swings open again and Chloe walks out followed by Emmy and Zev.

  He isn’t looking at me and I swear to goodness that if he put even the tip of his finger on Chloe I’ll do more than just throat-punch him. I’m not sure what more actually entails but I figure it will come to me really quickly if I discover he touched another woman.

  After Maggie, Chloe and the two boys leave the Ink, Emmy takes her lunch break so it’s just me and Zev.

  “You’re cute when you’re feisty,” he smirks.

  “Promise me you didn’t touch her,” I ask. I hate that I sound so vulnerable.

  Zev comes up and spins me around on the stool so I’m facing him. He brushes my fringe out of my eyes, “I told you I’m not a cheater, Jane.”

  “I didn’t mean it like that,” I insist. “I know you’re a good guy but Emmy might have let you do some of it and I don’t like the thought of you touching another woman even if it’s your job.”

  He gives me a hug which makes me feel strong again. “I was purely an observer, I promise.”

  After discussing it with Zev, I’ve opted for a horizontal piercing with an implantation steel barbell because it’s less likely to get ripped out than a ring and even though I don’t play contact sports anymore, the thought of ripping out my piercing grosses me out.