That's a Lie

by Victoria Klahr

  While it may not have been hearts and flowers, the way Seth fucked me tonight against the tree will forever be scorched into my memory as the best I’ll-make-you-admit-that-you-love-me-and-fuck-you-so-hard-when-you-finally-open-up sex of my life.

  I told him I’m in love with him, and when I said the words verbally, I felt so replete. I could have cried from the lightness I felt after saying it. And now that I’ve let myself have a taste of unadulterated passion with him, I want nothing more than to keep it and enjoy it. I want to cling onto him and never let him go, I won’t let him go.

  “When did you get this one?” I ask, tracing the tattoo on Seth’s bicep. He’s delicious naked, so I haven’t let him dress since we ripped each other’s clothes off when we got to his room. I’ve been laying in the crook of his arm tracing all of his tattoos, and asking what they all mean and when he got them. He came home with a lot more tattoos than he had when he left.

  His whole right side is covered in art. From his shoulder down to his wrist, there is no blank skin. His ribs are covered in a dark zombie pirate theme, his leg has a sexy pin-up girl with a professional camera, and his other leg has an underwater theme. His left arm, back, and chest are the only places that haven’t been touched by ink, but I’m positive he’ll have them covered eventually.

  He looks down at the rhino and smirks.

  “I was drunk-,” he starts.

  “How come you’re drunk in most of these stories?” He laughs deeply, shaking me as his chest rumbles under me. A warmth of pleasure from hearing his laugh flutters in my stomach- he’s so perfect. His fingers trail down my back making me shiver, and he rests his hand above my butt.

  “Because that’s when I get my best ideas,” he answers, smiling and tapping the tip of my nose. “Anyway, I was drunk and I was watching National Geographic or some shit like that, and they said that rhinos have super thick skin. Like up to 5 centimeters. Well… it made me think of you and how tough you are so I went and got the tattoo.”

  I pull back a little and look at him dubiously. “Really?”

  “No, not really. I was fucking drunk and I saw it on a beer bottle and went to the tattoo shop to get it.”

  I start cracking up, pulling away from him as I hold my belly, cover my mouth, and crying from laughing so hard, because his story is so ridiculous that it’s funny. Seth’s sense of humor and the way he makes me laugh is one of the things that I love about him. It’s what makes us work so well together, and it’s extremely sexy to me that he’s making me giggle as we lay together naked and basking in the heavenly aftereffects of the best sex of my life. His hand moves my hand away and he smiles down at me while he runs his thumb over the curve of my lips.

  “Is that funny?” he asks, grinning.

  “Yes,” I respond, breathless, and breaking out into another fit of laughter. “What about this one?” I point to the doughnut on his forearm.

  “I was drunk…,” he says, smirking at me when I start giggling again. “And was really craving a motherfucking doughnut.”

  When I calm down, I point to the guitar pic that he has on his bicep and ask him about that. Inside the pic are the words “She want the D-isco.”

  “Man, I was fucking wasted when I got that,” he starts, smiling sweetly when I’m overcome in another fit of laughter. “Okay, so I was in London when I got it. There was this band visiting there called She want the D-isco, who by the way play rock music, not disco. I was talking to the lead singer at the bar, and found out that something happened with their drummer so they couldn’t play. Well anyway I told him I played a little, so he asked if I could jam with them. They’re actually pretty awesome. We hung out for the rest of the night getting hammered, and the guitarist had a tattoo gun and I got the tat.”

  “What the hell is wrong with you?” I ask, shaking from laughing so hard. He laughs with me and looks at the tattoo, cocking his head to the side as if really seeing it for the first time. It’s not bad looking, but the story is absurd.

  I compose myself, and ask about the toothbrush on the backside of his arm that looks new.

  “Okay… So I was drinking-,” I snort again, chuckling at another story of his that contains drinking. I cover my face in my hands, trying to hide my embarrassing sounds. Seth pulls them away and pins them above my head. He smiles and leans down to kiss my nose. “Coffee, Jos. Geez let me finish…”

  That just makes me laugh harder, and I know I look like an idiot, but this is the first time I’ve been able to laugh like that in what seems like an eternity. He keeps my arms pinned above my head as he runs his nose down my hair, neck and throat. His grin is constant as he touches me, waiting for me to ease my laughter.

  “So I got that this morning after I helped dad out,” he says when I’m not laughing as hard.

  “Why?”

  “Because you texted me this morning and told me you like it when I brush my teeth before I talk to you in the mornings, so I got it so I would always remember to brush my teeth for you.”

  “You’re lying!” I say loudly and doubtingly. He laughs and throws his leg over my body so he is straddling me.

  “Not lying, Pussy Cat.” I don’t believe him, so I pull my arm out of his grip and slap the tattoo.

  “What the fuck was that for?” He looks at the tattoo briefly, and then takes my hand and pins it back above my head with a lot more strength than before.

  “If it was new than that would have hurt,” I explain, defiantly. He smirks and leans down to lick my exposed throat.

  “I’m not a fucking pussy, Jos. It’s irritating, not painful.” His hips push into mine, igniting a new kind of warmth in my core.

  “I’m not sure I believe you,” I say and slant my eyes at him. His head dips into my chest and licks the curve of my breast, my nipples hardening immediately and begging to be licked too.

  “You don’t have to believe me, baby,” he murmurs, sucking the skin next to my nipple. I lift my hips up automatically, excitement circling within me and erasing the humor that I had just been consumed with. He moans as my hips meet his, and he presses harder against me so I feel his stiff erection. “My tattoos are for me. A reminder of who I am, what I’ve gone through, and what means the most to me.”

  Instead of moving to cover my nipple like I want, he moves to my face and kisses the side of my mouth. That’s another thing I love about Seth. I didn’t get to see this side of him when we were just friends, because we preferred to goof off with each other. But the truth behind Seth is that there’s so much more depth in intimate moments like this. He’s insightful and more vulnerable than the cocky attitude he usually portrays. I love the man he hides from everyone else.

  “So that doughnut must have really meant something to you,” I deadpan in a soft voice. He smiles, laughter glinting in his pretty blue eyes.

  “Well… it had strawberry frosting and sprinkles. It was very special,” he says softly, facial expression turned impassive. I grin and try to move myself so I can kiss his mouth that he’s keeping just out of my reach. He moves away and smirks when I try to move again to kiss him.

  “Strawberry frosting and sprinkles, huh? How have you never had a girlfriend?”

  “Bitches love tall, dark, and handsome, and only like to fuck tall, blonde, and tatted,” he says with a shrug. It kind of stings a little when he says it, because I almost feel like he may really think that about himself. There’s the smallest tick in his jaw, barely discernable, but I notice it.

  “I love tall, blonde, and tatted,” I whisper, trying to show in in one look that I love him beyond words. He shoved his way back into my life and took over, not letting me go and not giving up on me, and I know I will never love someone else as much as I love him. I can feel the surging emotion in every touch and every second we lay here together.

  He looks at me for a moment, registering my words, and I wait hoping he’ll see how much I mean them. He pushes my hair back and sighs, sadness shadowing his eyes. “Not until after you fell in love with
tall, dark and handsome first.”

  And then I hear another piece of my heart crack at his words. I close my eyes, not sure how I can even make this better. I feel him let go of my hands, and he slides back down next to me. He tries not to show his insecurities in the real world. He hides behind this tough, obnoxious demeanor that makes people think that he is so sure of himself, but he’s not.

  “This is what I was so scared of,” I admit, keeping my eyes closed. The sadness from earlier starts creeping its way back through me, and my anxieties about not being able to love him the way he deserves all come crashing back into my chest, making it hard to breathe. He turns me so I’m facing him and rests his hand on my cheek.

  “I’m sorry, Jos. I shouldn’t have said that… Just… sometimes I don’t get it. I don’t understand why you fell for him. And it scares the shit out of me that I’ll be your second best.”

  My eyes open in a flash, and I see the hurt and fear in his eyes, an honesty that he doesn’t always show.

  “You were never second best. You were always the best, and I’ve never felt good enough to be with you. I’m still not. First it was that I didn’t feel like I was your type, you never were with girls like me. And now…” I think about how I took away a child’s life, and I’m being sucked in all over again. What was I thinking? I’m still hurting Seth, because I chose Blake over him before.

  “Oh my god, what am I doing?” I gasp, covering my mouth as tears sting my eyes.

  “Stop. Don’t do this now, Josie.” Seth pleads roughly, moving my hand away and grasping my chin.

  “I’m so sorry Seth. I thought I loved him, but I was so scared. I was scared to tell you the truth. I was scared to love you because I thought if anyone could hurt me the most, it would be you. You could ruin me. Destroy me. And now… now I…” I don’t know how to finish that sentence. How do I explain to him that I’m no longer whole?

  “You think I don’t understand what’s going through your head, Jos? I know exactly what you’re thinking. It’s the same thing that takes over my thoughts when I look at you.” He runs his hand down my bare back and pulls me closer to him.

  “I don’t deserve you, Seth. I’m this cloud of darkness and if you get sucked in then you’ll get hurt, too.”

  “Baby, I’ve been sucked in since the day I met you. There was no hope for me. And I don’t mean when you punched me. I mean the first time I saw you,” he smiles at the memory, tracing circles on my back. “I saw you reading under the tree at recess and I just knew there was something about you. It was like I knew even at six years old that you were the other half of me.”

  “Seth,” I whisper, running my hands over his chest. When I reach his neck I hold onto him, expressing every fear and hope in my eyes. I want him to know that I love him, but I don’t want him to be hurt when he realizes he deserves so much more. He continues before I can say anything else.

  “I know you’re feeling guilty about the abortion. I know how it feels to think that you deserve the worst in life because of a mistake you made, but I am begging you to let it go. Let me show you how much you deserve this.” His mouth moves to my forehead as he tries to convince me to let him in. He leaves sweet kisses down the side of my face and breathes roughly. “Even if the world is against you, I will always be with you. I get you, Jos. Better than anyone else.” His hand cups my cheeks and he brings his eyes level with mine. I want it. I want him so much my chest feels like it’s going to burst from trying to connect with him.

  “I’m so broken,” I cry. “I love you with every cell in my body. Every piece of me is screaming to be with you, but I can’t just give you my heart, because it’s in ashes. There’s nothing whole in me. You deserve so much more than broken pieces.”

  “I’m not asking to fix your heart. I’m not asking to mend you. I love each and every shattered piece of you. I’m asking that you let me love you. Let me love each piece of your broken heart, and I swear to you I will make up for every heartache you have ever experienced.”

  I’ve been beaten down, bullied, near death, and left broken hearted, but he wants me broken just as much as he wants me whole. I convinced myself that Blake had been my soul mate, but I was very wrong. I’ve been so wrong. My other half has been here the whole time, ever since we were little kids. Blake said once that he saw a connection between Seth and me, and I so easily pushed it aside to explore something safer and easy.

  “Blake was a safe zone for me, Seth, and he was comfortable. He hurt me so badly when I found out he was lying to me, but it was nothing compared to the pain I felt when you left. When he said those things at the party, it just solidified that I deserve to be alone, so I’ve been fighting this thing between us tooth and nail since then.”

  “And how’s that working for you?” he asks, a ghost of a smile on his lips.

  I watch his fears dispel as I speak about what I’ve been so scared of and as I reassure him that it’s him that I’ve wanted and needed all along. I did have a crush on him since middle school, and I did fall in love with him that summer, and I pushed it all aside thinking our friendship was too important. But our friendship is one of the reasons I feel so connected to him, so it’s become impossible to ignore.

  “I love you too much.”

  “If you love me forever, it’ll never be enough, Pussy Cat,” he says before bringing his mouth down to mine. His lips graze mine, but he doesn’t move them. “You’re mine now, Jos. No more running. As long as you’re mine, I don’t give a fuck about the pricks you’ve been with before me.”

  “Well then I guess it’s a good thing I’m undoubtedly yours,” I whisper, lips brushing softly against his and tingling from the brief contact.

  How he is able to wipe away all my fears in a couple minutes, I will never be able to explain, but he does. He turned my fears of not being good enough for him into reassurance that we’re perfect for each other, and just like that, my qualms vanish. I’m back in the wonderland of love and lust that Seth is offering, positive that I’ll never be able to leave.

  “That is good,” he says, gliding his hand between my legs. My skin breaks out in chills and I get even more turned on when I hear Seth’s chest vibrate in pleasure. “Never gets old…”

  I need him to kiss me, so I curl into him further, my breasts hitting his chest and sending a shock straight to my toes. I don’t even realize I’m holding my breath until he claims my mouth passionately, and I feel like I can breathe again now that his lips are back on mine. Right where they belong. He teases the tip of my tongue with his, pulling it away each time I try to suck it further into my mouth.

  I grip his hair tighter in my fingers, pulling him harder against me. His hair is so smooth and thin, and his hard hot body is like velvet fire against mine. I feel his muscles tighten in the sexiest way as he wraps me in his arms and kisses me with more fervor and passion than we’ve ever allowed ourselves to have. His bicep flexes against my back and the movement brushing my skin is electrifying. I pull my head away and move my mouth to his arm.

  I lick his bulging bicep, looking into his eyes seductively as my tongue tastes his body. I lick every tattoo that I see, and savor the taste of Seth and sex that he emits. His knee pushes between mine and I rock against it in an attempt to soothe the throbbing ache between them. My pussy is wet and ready for him, ready for him to bury himself inside of me and take me to a world only he and I can go.

  My mouth licks its way across his chest, kissing and licking his taut skin. My hands move to his stomach and am shocked as I feel his abs set a blazing fire to my tender fingertips. I look back up into Seth’s eyes and see him looking at me with so much craving and need, his kind blue green eyes heated and alluring as he watches me ravage his body with my mouth.

  Keeping my eyes locked on his, I move myself on top of him so I have better access to his chest. I lick my lips, already dry because I’m panting from wanting him. He groans and I see the intensity building behind his eyes that are zoned in on my mouth. I start my sexu
al exploration on his defined hard abdomen, licking the dips in his muscles and biting each one. Every moan I get out of him encourages me on.

  His hand plays with my hair, tugging it gently and wrapping it between his fingers. Each tug sends another shock to my core, making my insides clench exquisitely. I move my mouth to one of his nipple piercings, hungry to taste it in my mouth. Growing up, I never thought I’d be so into a man with tattoos and piercings, but Seth is the epitome of a hot, sexy man and there is nothing yummier than his nipple piercing in my mouth.

  I flick it with my tongue, and his grip moves to my scalp, fisting my long hair in his strong, secure hand. His chest moves in rapid short pulsations under me, and I feel a sense of power over him. But not too much power, because I know exactly who has a tight hold on my whole body. I smile lightly as he tightens his grasp on me, revealing his impatience for me to continue what I started. This time when my tongue touches his nipple, I let it linger as I enjoy the cool metal and his hardened skin. I suck it into my mouth and pull the ring between my teeth. I get lost in his taste and the sharp breaths he’s taking.

  “Jesus fucking Christ, I can’t fucking take it anymore,” he growls, flipping me over, pinning me to the bed, and spreading my legs apart emphatically. His head dips between them and licks the length of me making sure I’m wet and ready. He comes back up to me, licks his lips, and gives me a half grin as he pushes himself into me, no notice necessary or wanted.

  I cry out, lean my head back and push my chest up to him. His thumbs caress my hardened and extremely sensitive nipples as he rocks in and out of me. His thick cock makes every sensation feel ten times better as it enters my tight cunt. He reaches every crevice that’s screaming for his touch, never missing a beat as he drives his hips against mine in a beautiful rhythm.

  Our breathing heats the space between us, moaning and groaning intermixing to sing a melody in tune with our hips. Seth’s hands move to my waist and he lifts me so my ass is off the mattress. Gripping my hips hard enough to make bruises, he thrusts into me going even deeper in this position, and he never slows down or softens the force.