The Cruiserweight

by L. Anne Carrington

  “Well, yeah. Cake isn’t a real lunch.”

  “You must be a bottomless pit. Now I know where our daughter gets her appetite.”

  “Oh, yeah, need to check with the sitter since you brought up Little Bit.” He pulled out his phone and began punching numbers.

  Karen smiled and shook her head. “Sometimes, you’re worse than I am when it comes to the baby.”

  “I don’t like leaving her with strangers.”

  “Mrs. Holloway isn’t a stranger. She came well-recommended with excellent references.”

  Brett gave her a nod before turning his attention to the call he‘d made, talking for a few minutes before he put the phone in his pocket. “All is well.”

  “I could’ve told you that.”

  “She’s sleeping. Sitter just gave her a bottle.”

  “Oh, good, Mrs. Holloway found the note I left.”

  “You leave notes for everybody?”

  “In case you forgot, Autumn’s a baby. Babies have schedules.”

  “Speaking of schedules,” Brett said with a grin, “it’s time for this baby to eat.”

  Karen chuckled and walked with him toward a food court. Good thing he wrestles for a living or this man would weigh far more than I do, or even when I was pregnant.

  CHAPTER 78

  The weeks before the wedding passed, and before anyone knew it, the holidays arrived. Between Christmas plans and last-minute wedding preparations, Karen worried something would go wrong.

  She had no need for concern; whether by phone, email, or instant messaging, Pilar and Phoebe were always on hand at the right time. When Phoebe called Karen the morning she was dressing Autumn for a visit with Santa at an area mall to let Karen know Phoebe’s dress arrived and it was a perfect fit, Karen was relieved. One less worry for me. How would I’ve survived without her and Pilar?

  Patrick was in town to visit for a few days before he flew to Texas to spend time with his own family for the holidays. He scooped six-month-old Autumn from her playpen. “Look at the pretty girl, all ready to go with Daddy and Papi Pat to see Santa.”

  “Don’t mess up her dress or get her dirty,” Karen said. “I want to have nice pictures for everyone.”

  “Hey, Pedro, you have the video camera out there?” Brett called from the bedroom.

  “Charged up and ready to go, Britney,” Patrick answered. He tickled Autumn. “You have a silly daddy, don’t you? The way he’s fooling around in there, you’d think he was the one getting Santa pictures.”

  “What’s with the ‘Pedro’ and ‘Britney’ stuff?” Karen asked.

  “Old private joke,” Patrick said. “Brett would call me Pedro when he needed help carrying shit or something, and I’d call him Britney when he’d be in one of his primping moods.”

  She shook her head. “I’ll never figure out you two.”

  “No one ever does,” Brett said when he came into the living room. “Ready to go, Pat?”

  “Anytime you are, amigo.”

  Brett took a laughing Autumn from him. “Then let’s take our beautiful Little Bit on her first meeting with Old Saint Nick.”

  The door had just closed behind them when Karen heard a thud. She turned around and found the Christmas tree toppled on the floor and a startled cat peeking from under the sofa.

  “Jack,” she said in a scolding tone, “How many times have Daddy and I told you the Christmas tree is not a kitty toy? You’re lucky these ornaments are plastic.”

  She set the tree upright and cleaned the mess around it. “If you want to climb something, use the cat tree Brett spent two hundred dollars to buy you. Sometimes, I think he has more money than brains in that respect.”

  Jack slinked from his spot under the sofa and meowed at her.

  “Cattitude may work with Brett, mister, but it isn’t happening with me.”

  He rubbed against Karen’s legs, mewing again. She looked at the clock. “Never mind. I just realized Daddy forgot to feed you before he and Pat left.” She picked up the cat. “Come on, big boy, let’s go find something yummy for your lunch.”

  *****

  “Do you think this was a good idea?” Patrick asked when he and Brett stood in the long line, witnessing crying children and frightened babies on Santa’s lap.

  “Karen was the one who thought of it. Why do I have the feeling Little Bit’s going to scream bloody murder the moment I sit her on that guy?”

  “Because every other baby we’ve seen has done the same thing.”

  “Better prepare for getting our eardrums shattered, because you’re after those two boys.”

  “Oh, God.” Brett gave Patrick a helpless look.

  “Don’t look at me; I have to get the video ready.”

  “Thanks, asshole.”

  Once the twin boys were finished, Brett was summoned to bring Autumn. Apprehensive about what she would do, he was careful placing the baby on Santa’s lap. Here we go. She’s going to scream at any second…

  Brett and Patrick were surprised when Autumn looked up to Santa with a wide grin when he spoke to her. She began laughing and tried to grab his beard.

  “Holy shit, Kerrigan. I think Autumn digs that guy,” Patrick said, not missing a moment of filming. “I can’t wait until Karen sees this.”

  “You and I both. Little Bit laughing and grinning were the last things I’d expected.”

  The photographer took Autumn’s picture before Santa talked to her for a few more minutes. As he lifted the baby from his lap to return her to Brett, Autumn smiled again before she let a loud belch.

  A chorus of “Aww’s” and laughter came from others waiting in line, and Patrick barely caught his breath from his own hysterical laughter. “Oh, Karen’s going to have a field day with this for sure!”

  Brett looked at his daughter. “Sometimes, I think you enjoy agonizing me with embarrassment as much as your mother and Papi Pat do. For Mommy’s sake, let’s hope your pictures turn out okay.”

  *****

  “How did everything go?” Karen asked when Brett and Patrick returned from the mall with Autumn.

  “You won’t believe it until you see the video,” Brett said, handing over the baby, who laughed and patted Karen’s face. “Little Bit was a trouper. Not even a whimper from the second I put her down.”

  “Really? So much for your concern Autumn was afraid of Santa.”

  “Yeah, well, you don’t have memories from age of six of your baby brother yelling his head off a nanosecond after Ma put him on Santa’s lap.”

  Patrick looked up from preparing his video. “Nick was afraid of some guy dressed up in a Santa suit? Damn, I figured it was you, Brett.”

  “Who knows, maybe I was too. Can’t remember.”

  Karen gave Brett a knowing grin. “I bet your mother does.”

  “I think you’ve learned enough about me from Ma, thanks.”

  Patrick grinned at Karen. “You saw the baby pictures?”

  “Jesus Christ! Is there anyone who Ma didn’t show those things? I swear I’m going to confiscate every damn one she has and set them on fire,” Brett said.

  “I liked your baby picture where you’re on her bed with your bare ass in the air,” Patrick replied. “Even then, you were destined to pose in a ‘women’s entertainment’ magazine.”

  “Shut up.”

  “Anyway,” Karen said, “let’s see what you guys have on video.”

  “Okay, but I’m not sure you’re going to dig the ending. Don’t say Pat and I didn’t warn you.”

  “What can a six-month-old do that’s so bad?”

  Patrick and Brett glanced at each other. “You’ll find out soon enough…though a lot of people thought it was more funny than bad,” Patrick said.

  He started the video and they watched in silence for several moments before Karen looked down at Autumn. “Look at our good girl. You liked Santa, didn’t you?”

  The baby smiled and reached for Karen’s glasses. “No, ladybug. Mommy needs those to see.”
<
br />   “Here it comes, right after I took Little Bit,” Brett said.

  Karen glared at him when Autumn burped on screen. “Nice sound effects,” she said. “Very funny.”

  “I swear, that’s her,” Brett said. “Even if we wanted to dub in effects, neither of us have any idea how to do it.”

  “Rest assured, the belch you heard was from that cute little champ on your lap,” Patrick said.

  Karen glared. “My God, Brett, you’re turning our daughter into a savage. I was hoping to raise her with a least a few ladylike qualities.”

  “She’s six months old. How much of a savage can she already be? Not my fault she burped when I squeezed her too hard.”

  “Look at it this way,” Patrick said, “at least Autumn didn’t load her diaper on Santa’s lap.”

  “Good point.” Karen rose from the sofa. “Why don’t you two order a pizza for us? I have a baby and cat to feed.”

  As if he’d been summoned, Jack darted into the living room and gave Karen a hopeful look.

  “Speaking of the cat, I have an idea to keep Jack from knocking down your tree again,” Patrick said. “I’ll get to work on it while Brett orders dinner.”

  “Good idea,” Karen said with a nod. “Anything that keeps me from picking up a tree and ornaments dozens of times a day is welcome.”

  CHAPTER 79

  On Christmas Day, Karen was busy in the kitchen when Phoebe and Eddie arrived with Brett‘s family. She hugged Phoebe “I can’t believe you guys are here!”

  “We can’t believe we’re here!” Phoebe replied. “I never thought I’d see a Christmas without snow.”

  “You need to get out more often.”

  Phoebe dangled her fingers in front of Karen. “Like my ring?”

  “It’s gorgeous. Christmas present?”

  “Birthday. Can you believe it? Your wedding is less than a week away!”

  “Don’t remind me. This whole month’s been chaotic.”

  “I can almost imagine. How had Autumn enjoyed Christmas?”

  “Seems to be having fun. I think she’ll understand things a little more next year.”

  Phoebe spied something flashing on Karen’s wrist. “Oh, my God!” She grabbed Karen‘s arm. “Is that a tennis bracelet?”

  “Present from Brett to celebrate our first Christmas together.”

  “That has to be at least three carats.”

  “I know. I told him he didn’t need to go overboard.”

  “What did you get him?”

  “New wrestling attire I designed and had made for him.”

  “Now you’re designing clothes? Is there anything you can’t do?”

  “No, it’s just a one-time idea I’d created for his appearances at independent shows.”

  “Hey!” Eddie called from the living room. “Are we having dinner, or are you girls going to bullshit all night?”

  Brett came into the kitchen carrying Autumn. “Pay no mind to the jungle beasts in there. I came to lend you ladies a hand.”

  “Aren’t you a sweetheart,” Phoebe said. “Karen, where did you find such a fine man?”

  “I’d like to think Fate had a hand in us finding each other. Brett, would you do the honors of turkey carving?”

  “At your service, madam, as soon as I settle Little Bit at the table. I’ll get Nick and Eddie off their lazy asses to help with the wine and the rest of the food.”

  “Hold on to him tight,” Phoebe said with a smile. “He’s a keeper.”

  *****

  “Autumn’s settled in bed,” Pilar said a few hours after dinner. “Poor baby; she had such a big day.”

  “She’ll have an even bigger one next week when Mommy and Daddy get married, Sharon replied. “Are you excited, Karen?”

  Karen nodded. “Among other things. I need to get my dress on Monday.”

  “Oooh, let me and Sharon go with you!” Phoebe said. “I’ll drive!”

  “Why not? I could use the company. Would you come along, Pilar?”

  Brett’s mother, delighted to be included, smiled. “I would love to.”

  Eddie turned to the other men. “I’ll never understand why women travel in packs to do one simple errand.”

  “Same reason they go to the john together when we’re all out,” Nick replied. “To talk about us dudes.”

  “How do you know? You been in the women’s bathroom or something?”

  “Well, he was The Possum Queen once,” Brett said with a grin.

  “Oh, you’re so fucking funny, aren’t you?” Nick asked.

  “Language,” Brett said. “There’s ladies present.”

  “I’m glad one of you boys was paying attention while I raised you,” Pilar replied.

  “Who’s ready for dessert?” Brett asked, changing the subject.

  Sharon gave her older brother a surprised look. “Freaking hell, Brett, we just had dinner three hours ago.”

  “And?”

  “Surely you can’t be hungry again.”

  “I think Autumn’s eating habits rubbed off on her daddy,” Eddie said.

  “No, Brett was a vacuum cleaner with teeth long before she came along,” Sharon replied, “with Nick in close second place.”

  Nick pouted. “Hey, leave me out of this.”

  “Eddie, get the movie ready,” Karen said. “Pilar and I will set up coffee and dessert while Sharon makes some popcorn.”

  “I’ll get some sodas too,” Phoebe said.

  Eddie put his stocking feet on the coffee table. “Now this is what I call a good Christmas.”

  “Feet down,” Karen said before she went to the kitchen. “When I said to make yourselves at home, I didn’t mean literally.”

  CHAPTER 80

  The following day, things quieted down a little at home, which gave Karen time to work on last-minute wedding arrangements. She’d confirmed more orders, needed to make several phone calls, and then go to the appointment for her final dress fitting.

  In the meantime, she sent Brett on other errands. “You can stop at the hotel to pick up Eddie and Nick to help if you’d like.”

  “Yeah, but today? Every nut case and their relatives will be out doing exchanges and shit.”

  “I know, but we can’t put things off much longer. The wedding’s in less than a week.”

  He groaned.

  Karen handed him a list. “These shouldn’t take long.”

  “At least I’ll have company to share in my agony.”

  “I promise to make it worth your while on our wedding night.”

  “Now you’re talking!” Brett grabbed his car keys and kissed her. “If we’re not back by five, we probably were lost in the post-Christmas rush, so send out a search party.”

  *****

  “Let’s see,” Brett said as he scanned the list and crossed off several items. “I have to pick my suit, and then I need to…wait, what the hell? Oh, God, Karen, you did not just do this to me!”

  “What’s the matter?” Eddie asked.

  “She wants me to pick up Little Bit’s dress. Jesus Christ, how many dresses does a baby need?”

  “Babies grow fast, and you know how women want their kids to look cute for stuff like weddings.”

  Brett sighed. “I think I just stepped into hell when I agreed to run errands for her.”

  “You sure you still want to get married?” Nick asked. “Still a few days left to bail out.”

  Eddie slapped the back of Nick’s head. “Don’t talk about K like that. She’s your niece’s mom.”

  “It’s cool, Ed,” Brett replied. “It would take a lot to change my mind about marrying Karen. Why don’t you guys hang out at the food court for awhile?”

  “Works for me,” Nick said with a nod.

  “Meet me back here in about half an hour,” Brett said. He pulled out his phone. “I should check with Karen about something.”

  Eddie and Nick began making sounds and motions as if they were cracking whips.

  Brett glared at them. “Ve
ry fucking funny.” He turned his attention to the phone call. “Hey, baby, what’s happening?”

  “Hi. Everything all right?" Karen asked.

  "Great. This list you gave me…do you really want me to pick up that dress for Little Bit?”

  “For heaven’s sake, Brett, it’s paid for. Just walk in, tell them the order’s in my name, and they should give it to you. I’m not asking you to walk out with the entire store. I have to get going. Your mom’s coming in about fifteen minutes to take me to my fitting.”

  Brett sighed, closed his phone, and put it in his pocket. "I’m definitely in hell.”

  "What‘s the problem?“ Eddie asked. “Autumn’s your kid too. No big deal picking up a baby dress.”

  “Not like you have to try it on,” Nick said.

  Both men broke out laughing before Brett gave them a death stare. “Why are you two ass wipes still here? Get your ugly mugs to the food court while I finish this shit.”

  *****

  “Where’s Brett?” Phoebe asked when she arrived with the other women.

  “I sent him on some errands. He’s picking up his suit and Autumn’s dress, among other things,” Karen replied.

  “I’d like to be a fly on the wall in that infant store.”

  “Why did you send Brett?” Sharon asked.

  “Punishment for not coming with me to help choose one for her.”

  “You’re terrible,” Pilar said. She, Sharon, Karen and Phoebe began to giggle.

  “I would’ve told Eddie to take pictures with his phone if I’d known Brett had to pick up Autumn‘s dress,” Phoebe replied.

  They all laughed again.

  Pilar had changed her mind about accompanying the other women and volunteered to stay with Autumn. Before leaving with Phoebe and Sharon, Karen picked up the baby and kissed her. “Be a good girl for Grandma, okay?”