Forever & an Engine (The Austin Series)

by C. J. Fallowfield

  ‘So try something you think I’ll understand, that I’ll relate to.’

  ‘Something you’ll relate to?’ I questioned as I dried my eyes and looked up at him.

  ‘Yes,’ he nodded, grabbing and kissing my fingers again.

  ‘Ok I can do this. You’re a guy. I know you like your penis, sex, sports, xbox, cars … cars. Ok if you could have any car in the world, money was no object, what would it be?’

  ‘Easy a Lamborghini Veneno,’ he replied without even having to think about it.

  ‘Ok then imagine I’m a Lamborghini Veneno.’

  ‘Wow baby you come fast, but I don’t think even you could do it in 2.8 seconds.’

  ‘Gabe.’

  ‘Sorry, ok you’re a Lamborghini Veneno. I can totally see it, both very very sexy, expensive and classy with incredibly sleek curves and a very nice chassis,’ he grinned.

  ‘O this was a stupid idea, just forget it.’ I pulled my hands away from his and tried to scramble up out of the bath and he stopped me and pulled me down to my knees in front of him.

  ‘Mia please don’t go. I’m sorry, I’ll keep quiet, tell me what you wanted to say.’

  ‘If you’re going to take the piss, I’d rather not,’ I responded with a frown.

  ‘I promise not to, tell me baby,’ he said as he stroked my face.

  ‘You’ll think it’s silly.’

  ‘Mia,’ he kissed my forehead and rubbed his nose on mine. ‘Tell me,’ he said as he looked into my eyes. Talk about my baby blues, he was like a hypnotist, one look into his and I was under his spell and would do anything he asked.

  ‘I was just going to say I might be the Lamborghini, but you’re my engine. Without you I’m going nowhere, I’m just a shell and I’m worthless. You’re what makes me so special, I need you to function.’ I looked down embarrassed at my stupid analogy and gently stroked his firm thigh with my fingers acutely aware of the silence that remained for what seemed like forever, but was probably in reality only a few seconds.

  ‘I’m your engine?’ I heard him ask.

  ‘Yes, I know it was a stupid thing to say. Just forget it,’ I said shaking my head.

  ‘No baby,’ he whispered. ‘It’s the most romantic thing anyone’s ever said to me.’ He lifted my chin up to look at him again and I was shocked to see he’d a tear in his eye. ‘Really, I’m your engine?’

  ‘Of course you are Gabe, I love you so much and I’m scared that if I lost you I’d fall apart and it’s only been weeks since we met. How am I going to feel after months or years with you if I lost you?’

  ‘I know baby, I feel the same, so we have to communicate. You tell me if you’re unhappy in any way and we work on fixing it ok? You don’t run and shut me out.’

  ‘I’m not used to sharing my feelings Gabe, but I’m really going to try, I promise.’

  ‘Thank you. So does that mean we can get out of what remains of this bath as it’s bloody freezing and I want to snuggle in bed.’

  ‘Gabe Austin, a snuggler? Wow if that got out your street cred would be ruined,’ I smiled. He grinned and stood up giving me his hand.

  ‘I’ll always have your You Tube clip to boost it back up.’

  He insisted I get into bed to rest up while he mopped up the bathroom floor. I lay daydreaming until he came back in with a hot chocolate and some peanut butter and butter on toast to keep me going until I could eat again after my op tomorrow. He sat on the edge of the bed smiling as he watched me eat, then took away my empty cup and plates and returned with a gift wrapped box in his hands and handed it to me. I looked at him surprised, it was a large heavy square shaped item, beautifully wrapped in silver paper, with silver curled ribbon around it and it was stone cold.

  ‘Is this what you hid in the fridge earlier?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘What is it?’

  ‘Well you’ll have to open it and see, it’s a small gift for you for tomorrow.’

  I carefully unwrapped it and bit my lip as I saw a huge solid puffed milk chocolate heart. Our names were piped in it in white icing. Gabe written across and Mia down, both names sharing the letter ‘a’.

  ‘See you’re so romantic, thank you,’ I said as I hugged him tightly.

  ‘You’ve something to chew on in hospital now. I know you love your chocolate.’

  ‘Are you kidding me? I’m never eating this. In fact I’m going to get it framed. I’ve seen some of those deep box frames in a local gallery, the ones that people put baby’s first boots and things in. This is going on my wall.’

  ‘You’re seriously not going to eat it?’

  ‘No, it’s a lovely present and I want to keep it to remember.’

  ‘What were you doing in a gallery? I didn’t think you were into art. You’ve got nothing up on the walls.’

  ‘Because we’ve only just moved in and I have very particular tastes. I love Doug Hyde and Peter Smith’s work, but they’re quite expensive. So, I’m saving up so I can choose one every few months to start filling up the wall space. It’s also complicated as I like to colour co-ordinate.’

  ‘You choose expensive pieces of art based on colour co-ordination?’ he asked shaking his head in amusement.

  ‘Yes and if the picture speaks to me. You’re laughing at me again Gabe.’

  ‘You make me laugh with your quirky ideas. It’s adorable. Right you need to sleep now.’

  ‘Then get into bed and stop wooing me with food.’

  He climbed in and lay on his back and held his arm out for me to move in. I turned off the light and rolled over to him and we wrapped ourselves tightly around each other.

  ‘Gabe?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘Why were you so mean with your other women during sex?’

  ‘Mia,’ he sighed.

  ‘I’d like to know.’

  ‘I didn’t like myself very much, I told you I was angry a lot of the time and it made me feel better to take out my frustrations in bed.’

  ‘Were you like that with all your girls? Even Julie?’

  ‘Baby after this afternoon, is talking about this really a good idea?’

  ‘I’m ok now Gabe, you’re not like that with me. I’m just trying to understand you better.’

  ‘Yes I was like that with them all, Julie to a lesser extent as I wanted to try having a normal relationship, but yes,’ he nodded. ‘If they didn’t like it, I’d find another that did, which believe it or not was pretty easy.’

  ‘I can believe it, it’s kind of hot the way you were all aggressive, but I’m glad you’re not like that with me all the time. Is it to do with your mum?’

  ‘What?’ He answered quickly and I felt his body tense up below me.

  ‘The reason you that you don’t like yourself very much? You said you keep imagining that you could have prevented her accident which implies that you still feel guilty about it.’ He hesitated to answer and I stroked his chest and kissed him over the heart. It was a minute or two before he answered.

  ‘I guess so,’ he whispered. It was as if he were admitting it to himself for the first time and it had surprised him.

  ‘You shouldn’t feel guilty Gabe, it wasn’t your fault. What happened was a tragic accident and you have to stop blaming yourself. You are a nice person, I love you don’t I? Julie loved you too, so does your dad.’

  ‘I know that, I just don’t feel particularly worthy of being loved Mia. Until you I’ve treated women pretty badly, like a convenience,’ he said with a heavy sigh. I looked up at his sad eyes and put my fingers on his lips.

  ‘You were scared of getting attached to someone again Gabe, like I was, but you’re very worthy. Look how you treat me, you’re able to love me the way you do and not be distant, closed off or so sexually aggressive. It shows that you do have a good heart. You obviously just needed time to realise it.’

  ‘I needed you. I don’t know what it is about you Mia, I just changed the second I saw you. I wanted to be better for you, to be deserving of you.’ He c
upped my chin and kissed me tenderly and smiled as he looked down at me.

  ‘Me too with you Gabe. Maybe we see a bit of ourselves in each other, we can both relate to loss and hurt. You’re helping me and I’m helping you.’

  ‘You are helping me baby. I’m so happy with you, I love you so much.’ He grabbed his phone and held it next to my ear and played me Bruno Mars “If I knew”. ‘You need to substitute “I wish we were 17” for “I wish we were thirteen” as I started so young, but it says what I feel Mia. I would’ve waited for you if I’d known you were out there.’

  ‘I believe you and I’m sorry about the way I reacted today. I really love you Gabe,’ I whispered as some tears trickled down my face onto his chest.

  ‘I know, I really love you too. You’re my forever and I’m your engine, never forget that baby,’ he whispered back as he kissed me and held me tightly.

  Tuesday

  I moaned as I slowly woke up to feel my body tingling. It took a moment to realise that I’d a tongue caressing my nipple and a hand between my legs stroking me gently.

  ‘Mmmmm,’ I groaned.

  ‘Morning baby, wake up, I need you,’ Gabe mumbled as his lips sucked just hard enough to bring me around and to attention. He had pulled the duvet back and I was lying on my back naked, with him leaning over me. I quickly glanced at the clock, it was only 5.40 a.m.

  ‘You’re violating a sleeping woman. There should be some rule about that,’ I sighed.

  ‘It’s only violating if you don’t want me and you do, you told me so in your sleep and the wetness coating my fingers confirms it, here try.’ He put his two fingers in my mouth and I looked into his eyes as I sucked them, making him groan. ‘O god, it’s so hot you doing that Mia.’

  I sat up and pushed him onto his back, straddled him and sank down onto his erection groaning to feel him stretch me. I grabbed his hands and held them up above his head and worked my hips and pelvis on him, bringing us both to a very quick climax and I sighed happily as I got off him.

  ‘I need to go and brush my teeth and sort the last of my toiletries, but when I return I expect you to be hard for me Gabe. If you’re not, that was the last time we were having sex for quite a while. If you are hard for me, I’d like you to fuck me furiously to make up for all the sex we’re going to miss. So I really need you to be hard for me again, soon. Do I make myself clear?’

  ‘Yes ma’am,’ he replied with an ecstatic grin on his face. I looked at his dick and saw it twitching and smiled. God he’d got some stamina, he was better than any gym work out. I left him and washed my hands and used some moist wipes to tidy myself up and brushed my teeth and grouped my remaining items on the sink ready.

  I checked the clock, it was ten past six and I hoped I’d given him enough time, the thought of not having sex again for days was unbearable. I opened the door to the bedroom and he was grinning like a Cheshire cat with a solid erection that he was grasping in his right fist.

  ‘Gabe,’ I sighed. ‘That’s an amazing sight.’

  ‘Get over here baby, right now, because I’m open for business,’ he growled. I jumped up onto the bed with him and he was straight on me, hands and lips everywhere as I mewled his name.

  Forty minutes later, we parted, panting and sweaty, our hair stuck to our heads, both groaning.

  ‘God Gabe, where do you get the energy? You’re unstoppable.’

  ‘You told me to be baby, I like to please you. Did I?’ he asked as he turned his head to look at me. It still amazed me that he seemed so insecure about whether he was satisfying me sexually.

  ‘Many many many times. You never have to ask me that Gabe, you couldn’t be bad at sex if you tried. I don’t think I can move, my legs are like jelly. Do you ever feel resentful that I can come so many times in one session and you only get to the once?’

  ‘No. You’ve no idea what seeing you come does for me Mia. To know that I did that to you, it’s almost better than coming myself. I love making you happy.’ He whispered the last part and my stomach flipped. I rolled over into his side and held his chin as I looked into his shining vivid blue eyes.

  ‘You do, you make me happier than I ever thought possible Gabe Austin.’

  ‘God I love you so much,’ he groaned as he pulled me down to meet his lips. We were rudely interrupted by the alarm going off. ‘Damn it,’ he muttered with a heavy sigh. ‘We need to get you cleaned up and ready.’ He squeezed me tightly in his arms and nosed my hair before getting up and pulling me off the bed to follow him into the shower. He leaned me back against the wall and angled the detachable head, instructing me to part my legs as carefully cleaned me inside and out giving me another climax in the process. We washed each other’s hair and soaped each other down, rinsed off and stood in the pouring water looking at each other for a minute and I felt a sudden wave of nausea.

  ‘Gabe?’

  ‘What?’ he asked as he pushed his wet hair back off his face, his biceps flexing against the torrent.

  ‘I feel sick,’ I whispered. He pulled me into his arms and held my head against his chest as the hot water pounded our skin.

  ‘I’m going to be there ok? I’ll be at your side as soon as they bring you out of recovery so you don’t need to worry. You’re going to be just fine Mia.’

  ‘How can you be so sure?’ I asked, he’d sure changed his tune from being so worried on Sunday, or was he just trying to be strong for me?

  ‘Because you have to be baby. A fast engine’s no good without its hot Lamborghini body it is?’ he teased. I laughed and he held me tighter before releasing me and kissing my forehead and rubbing noses. ‘Come on we need to get you dry and dressed.’

  I removed my belly button piercing, my helix ear stud and looked down reluctantly at my bangle.

  ‘Leave it on Mia. You can give it to me there and I’ll give it straight back to you when you come out ok?’

  I nodded and got dressed and pulled my long hair back into a low pony tail and packed the last of my toiletries as Gabe sat on the bed and watched. I looked at him and as we locked eyes I could suddenly see how obvious it was that he was trying to pretend he was fine, so I bit my lip and finished sorting out my bag to stop myself from crying.

  ‘Can I have your key?’ he asked. ‘I can come and get your mail and more clothes if you need them during the week.’

  ‘Sure, help yourself from the bowl in the hall. I better go and see if Lexi’s ready.’

  ‘I’ll go down to the car with your cases and pull up at the front, don’t be long.’ He kissed me and headed out as I went to knock on Lexi’s door. I poked my head around and she was dressed but lying on the bed, looking pale, seriously vampire pale.

  ‘Lexi what’s wrong?’

  ‘Either really bad morning sickness or it’s something I ate last night, I feel seriously off.’

  ‘O god, go back to bed, you don’t need to come.’

  ‘And leave my best friend when she needs me? Forget it, let’s get moving.’

  ‘Tell me all about the date.’

  ‘No, I’m going to save it. Call it an incentive to make it through this safe and sound and then I’ll tell you everything.’

  ‘Lexi,’ I chastised. ‘At least tell me good or bad, possible food poisoning excepted.’

  ‘Surprisingly good,’ she grinned.

  ‘O Lexi, I’m so excited. Are you going to see each other again?’

  ‘Mia Page, you won’t break me. I’m saving it and we are going to have a proper girly chat when you have had your op with alcohol, pizza, Ben & Jerrys and chocolate. How does that sound?’

  ‘You’re so mean,’ I sighed. ‘I’ve waiting years for you to talk to me about a proper date and to bring up my favourite food and drink when I can’t have any as well? Are you trying to torture me?’

  ‘Sorry, wasn’t thinking. Come on we need to move, where are your bags?’

  ‘Gabe’s taken them down to the car. I’ll just grab my handbag. You all packed?’

  ‘And raring to
go, Cinema here I come. Shame we’ll miss movie night tonight.’

  ‘I know,’ I sighed. I couldn’t remember the last time we’d missed a movie night, it was an important tradition for us. Some stability in a world that had stripped much of our stability away, Lexi’s in particular. ‘But for the next week we can have movie night every night, or even in the day. How cool is that?’ I smiled and she nodded. I grabbed my handbag and Lexi’s suitcase for her and we headed downstairs and straight into Gabe’s waiting car and this time I insisted on her sitting in the front.

  We arrived at the hospital at 7.45 a.m. fifteen minutes early and as we sat in Reception my nerves started to get the better of me. I couldn’t believe I was having an operation and mum had no idea. She was going to kill me when she found out, assuming the op didn’t first. I rapped my fingers up and down on my knee while I shook my foot and Gabe reached out and put his hand over mine to stop me and kissed my forehead.

  ‘Mia Page?’

  I looked up to see a nurse smiling, I thought it was at me and realised she was smiling and fluttering her eyelids at Gabe, which irritated me straightaway. She introduced herself as Ann and walked us all to my room, handed me two gowns and a cap and asked me to get unpacked and ready and she’d be back. She left after another look at Gabe, but he was oblivious which made me feel a bit better about it. I looked around surprised to see how big the room was. It was painted in peach and cream with warm cream curtains, a wardrobe, dressing table and drawers with a TV with DVD player. There were two hospital beds, one with a large grip handle hanging over it and two large comfortable chairs.

  ‘Gabe, this looks like a hotel. Why’s it got two beds? The other rooms I passed only had one.’

  ‘You really thought that I’d leave you alone in here tonight?’

  ‘But surely that’s not allowed?’ I asked, looking at him surprised.

  ‘Officially the room’s for young patients and a parent, so dad pulled some strings for me.’

  ‘Thank you.’ I flung my arms around him and nuzzled his neck, so touched that he’d done that for me. ‘I was dreading spending the night without you.’