Forever & an Engine (The Austin Series)

by C. J. Fallowfield

  ‘Gabe that’s pretty cool of you,’ said Lexi smacking him on the back a couple of times.

  ‘Lex you really don’t look well,’ I observed as I released Gabe and looked at her.

  ‘I’ll be fine Mia, take your toiletries in the bathroom and Gabe can help you get ready and I’ll unpack your case in here.’

  Gabe put my case on the spare bed for her, then grabbed my toiletries case and took my hand and led me to the en-suite. It was clean and functional with sink, toilet and open wet room area. I stripped to my underwear and felt his hands grasp my waist as he pulled me into him and buried his face in my shoulder and I felt him sigh as his shoulders slumped.

  ‘I’m so sorry, this must be hard for you,’ I whispered. I knew his mum hadn’t died here, but all the same to be in a hospital, worrying about me must be killing him.

  ‘You’ve no idea Mia. I feel so sick.’

  ‘I don’t think you should be here Gabe, I think you ought to wait at home and come back when I’m awake.’ I kissed his hair and he straightened up and looked at me surprised.

  ‘You don’t want me here?’

  ‘I don’t want you hurting, I know that you’re trying to be brave.’

  ‘I’m hurting anyway Mia. No way I’m leaving you, I want to be here. I need to be close to you.’ He tucked my hair behind my ear as he looked down at me. I looked down and pulled off my bangle and put it in his fist and clenched his hand around it.

  ‘You are close to me. You look after this for me and you give it to me as soon as you see me ok? I’ll want it back straightaway Gabe.’ He nodded and I unhooked my bra and pulled on the two gowns, as I had for my scan, and wriggled out of my knickers. I pulled him to me and softly kissed him with my lips, my tongue and my heart, hands fisted in his soft blond hair. I needed to set aside my worries for a while and to try to be strong for him. ‘Come on I need to check out this super-duper reclining bed and pulley.’ I led him back into the bedroom and jumped onto it and started fiddling with the controls giggling as I moved different sections of it up and down. Lexi shook her head as she sat back in one of the arm chairs and Gabe watched from the edge of the spare bed.

  Ann returned and ran some tests and put an identification bracelet on my wrist and ankle and helped me with my green hair net. The anaesthetist came and talked me through what he’d do and what pain medication I’d be on after and decided I didn’t need any pre-meds as I seemed reasonably calm. I was trying to project that on the outside for Gabe and Lexi’s benefit, but internally I was shaking and wished my mum was here. Dr Wells arrived in her scrubs with her cap on and sat on the edge of my bed as she talked me through what she was going to do and the risks involved. I looked over at Gabe, he’d gone really pale and looked so scared, I wished he’d listened to me and gone home. I smiled as Dr Wells told me that I’d be taken down in a few minutes.

  ‘Ok let’s do this Mia,’ said Lexi and she came and hugged me tighter than normal. ‘I’ll see you soon ok? You’re going to be fine and at least you can eat after not like when you had your wisdom teeth and overcrowding done.’

  ‘O god,’ I laughed. ‘Do you remember how bad I was? My face swelled up so badly and you made me worse by laughing at me and calling me chipmunk for the next two weeks.’

  ‘Well you did look like one with your little cheeks all puffed up it was hilarious,’ she chuckled.

  ‘For you maybe, I had 24 stitches in my mouth and was black and blue, I couldn’t eat properly for a few weeks,’ I protested. Mum had fed me bowl after bowl of homemade liquidised chicken soup through a straw, until I’d turned green, sick to death of the bloody stuff.

  ‘Well it got you upgraded from own brand to Carte D’Or ice cream which you could slurp through your lips.’

  ‘God yes and remember how Gerry got me the Rowntree’s fruit jellies and cut then into little slithers so you could feed them to me?’

  ‘Yes,’ she laughed. ‘You were like a post box, I had to keep shoving them through the small gap in your mouth. God the worst was you having asked to keep the teeth. Do you remember they’d put them in a jar of fluid and had forgotten to put some preservative in?’

  ‘O god yes,’ I groaned. ‘Mrs Cuthbert our Biology teacher asked me to bring them in for the class to see and when she opened the lid it was like someone had let off a stink bomb, rotting teeth aren’t the most pleasant of smells.’

  ‘I’ve never been able to eat cabbage since,’ giggled Lexi.

  ‘No nor me, the smell of over boiled cabbage just takes me straight back there,’ I smiled, but suddenly Lexi’s face fell and she looked at me all seriously. ‘Don’t Lex, I’ll be fine ok?’

  ‘You’d better be Mia Page. You’re my sister, my best friend, my tutor and my mother all rolled into one and I can’t lose you.’ She grabbed me again into another big bear hug and held me so tightly I could hardly breathe. I heard her sniffing. ‘Shit, I’m getting all emosh and teary again. I need caffeine so I’ll give you two sometime alone.’

  ‘Thank you, I love you.’ I didn’t let her go straightaway when she released her grip on me.

  ‘I love you too.’

  ‘Stay with him for me? He really needs you right now,’ I whispered as I let her go. She nodded and wiped some tears from her eyes and kissed my forehead and quickly hurried out, shutting the door behind her. I looked over at Gabe and could see he was struggling to keep his composure. ‘Gabe Austin, it’s a routine procedure and I’m going to be fine. I’ll be back before you know it,’ I said, trying to act as confidently as I could.

  ‘Mia,’ he sighed, as he ran his hand through this hair and looked at me sadly.

  ‘Gabe please don’t. Come and sit here with me.’ I patted the side of my bed and he sat next to me and unusually it was me that pulled him into my arms and gently stroked and kissed his hair. ‘It’s only a few hours, it’ll be like a History lecture, except I’ll be asleep the whole time, instead of just part of it,’ I joked. He sat up and looked at me, anguish written all over his handsome face.

  ‘Mia it’s not the time for jokes, I’m in pieces here. What if I lose you?’ he looked down and picked at my gown.

  ‘Gabe you’re not going to lose me. Look at me, or do I look that hideous in this gown and silly hat?’

  ‘You could never look hideous Mia. You look beautiful … beautiful and sad,’ he whispered as he palmed my cheek and I turned my head to kiss his wrist.

  ‘I’m sad because I can see what this is doing to you Gabe.’

  ‘I wasn’t allowed to be at the hospital with my mum Mia and I’ve always felt angry about that. I should’ve been allowed to see her, to say goodbye to her. I’m not leaving you.’ He shot me a look and then looked down at his chest as he ran both sets of hands through his hair this time. My chest constricted and I willed myself not to cry at what he’d been through.

  ‘Gabe Austin you’re not saying goodbye to me, do you hear me?’ I lifted his head up and cupped his face in my hands. ‘Kiss me and I promise it will make you feel better.’ I let my lips brush against his and felt him shiver, then I gently bit his lower lip and ran my tongue over it and then kissed all the way around his mouth and heard him moan. He gripped my shoulder blades and pulled me into him until my breasts were squashed against his firm chest. By the time I’d kissed him properly, I could feel his body softening as his mouth responded and he groaned. He was turned on, good that would keep him distracted. I grasped the back of his hair and ran my thumb up and down his neck as I ran my other hand down to caress his erection through his jeans. At least leaving him sexually frustrated would be better than leaving him sad, I knew he’d have to deal with that, which would hopefully take his mind off worrying about me.

  ‘Mia, what the hell are you doing?’ he groaned.

  ‘Giving you something to keep you busy while I’m gone.’

  ‘You could leave me a crossword.’

  ‘Please, like that would give you any satisfaction,’ I whispered as I moved to nibble on his ear. I gripped
him hard and heard him take a deep breath. ‘I know what keeps your mind occupied Gabe.’

  ‘You do Mia, you’re all I think about. Please stop, you’ll make me come.’

  ‘I want you to imagine how amazing it’s going to be next time we do it Gabe. How desperate I’m going to be to feel you inside me again, back inside me where you belong.’

  ‘Mia,’ he groaned and pulled back suddenly as the door opened.

  ‘Are you ready to go Mia? You can walk down if you feel up to it?’ smiled Ann.

  ‘I’m fine to walk, thanks,’ I smiled as I felt my cheeks flush. I looked at Gabe who was trying to regain his composure, the horniness obvious on his face, not just from the tent in his jeans.

  ‘You can walk with her if you want? Just to the theatre door,’ she said to Gabe’s back.

  ‘Thank you,’ he replied and turned to give her one of his smiles and I watched her react, her pupils dilating, her cheeks and neck flushing as she put a hand to her chest and took a gasp of air. I looked back at him rolling my eyes and he just winked at me. He jumped off the bed and grabbed his jacket off the spare one and put it over his arm to cover his erection before turning back to me and holding out his hand. He gave me a look as I took it and his lips grazed the side of my cheek.

  ‘You’re so going to get it when you’re better,’ he growled in my ear.

  ‘I’ll hold you to that,’ I grinned as we walked hand in hand behind the Ann and down in the elevator. We turned right and saw a short corridor leading to a set of double doors with the sign “Operating Theatre – Restricted Access – Authorised Personnel Only” and we slowly walked to the door. His hand gripped mine tightly, his thumb rubbing over my knuckles.

  ‘Ok we’re here, we need to head in,’ smiled Ann.

  ‘Can you just give us one minute?’ Gabe asked, as he kept his eyes fixed firmly on mine.

  ‘One minute that’s all, everyone’s waiting.’

  I looked at her and forced a smile as she disappeared behind the door.

  ‘Fuck Mia.’ He pulled me into his arms and I could hear his voice trembling.

  ‘Gabe don’t start and don’t you dare cry or I’ll start and never stop,’ I mumbled into his chest. ‘I love you, now go and tend to that enormous erection I can feel poking into my stomach and then go and find Lexi. She really doesn’t look well and I’m her person when she’s poorly, so I need you to look after her ok? Don’t leave her side, promise me?’

  ‘I promise baby. God I love you so much. You know that right?’

  ‘Of course I do Gabe and I love you too.’ I pulled out of his embrace and took a quick sharp breath. ‘Just in case something goes wrong you need to tell my mum that I love her and I’m sorry I never told her, I was trying to protect her. Ok you need to go or I’m going to cry, please go quickly,’ I ordered, hearing the shake start in my own voice. He reached up his hand and ran his finger down my cheek as I bit my lip to hold back my tears.

  ‘Promise you’ll come back to me Mia.’ He leaned in and kissed me gently. ‘You’re my Veneno and I’m your engine,’ he whispered softly.

  ‘You really liked that?’ I giggled, inappropriately.

  ‘I love it baby, I love you.’ He said it so full of emotion and sincerity that I had to take in a sharp breath of air. I heard the door open behind me and grabbed him and kissed him quickly.

  ‘I love you too Gabe, see you soon.’ I wiped a tear from my eye and quickly turned and walked through the door without looking at his face. I couldn’t bear to see the look in his eye, or let him see that I was suddenly terrified. I was in a daze as I was helped up onto a narrow hard bed and vaguely heard voices talking to me but I wasn’t really listening. I felt a coldness on my hand and winced as I felt a deep scratch.

  ‘Mia … Mia,’ I suddenly focussed on the deep male voice coming from the face leaning over me trying to get my attention. ‘Count down from ten for me please Mia.’

  ‘Ten, nine’ I felt my eyes rolling. ‘… eight …’ they started to close and my body went heavy and my head went all woozy. ‘Sevvvvennnn … si ...’ everything went black and then … nothing.

  I woke up gasping hard, I felt sick and dizzy and was sobbing uncontrollably. I heard the beeping of machines all around me and struggled to try sit up and felt a restraining hand on my shoulder and heard a woman’s voice.

  ‘It’s ok Mia, stay still and breathe gently. You’ve had your operation and you’re in the recovery room. Just lie still and take some gentle breaths for me.’

  I did as I was told, my stomach felt tight and numb and my throat hurt. I stared at the bright florescent light above me, choking down the air from a mask over my face, until my tears eventually stopped. I felt the room spinning and closed my eyes and fell asleep again.

  I could hear voices, Gabe?

  ‘God she looks so pale, should she look so pale?’

  I groaned and tried to open my eyes to see him, but they were too heavy. I felt so tired and there was a tightness constricting my right arm. I felt a hand gently stroking my forehead and a pair of lips softly touch it.

  ‘It’s ok baby, you’re back in your room. You’re going to be ok, sleep. I’m here with you, just sleep.’

  ‘Gabe?’ I moaned, my voice sounded different, it was scratchy and hoarse. I tried to reach up to remove the mask still on my face, but he gently took my hand and pulled it back down onto the bed.

  ‘I’m here, I’m not going anywhere Mia. Go to sleep. I love you baby.’ His voice was so reassuring and I listened to him talking to me softly as he stroked my hair and I fell back to sleep.

  I woke with a start and opened my eyes, the mask still in place. I tried to take it off, but someone removed my hand and put the mask back in place.

  ‘Gabe?’ I mumbled as I tried to focus my eyes.

  ‘I’m here Mia, just stay still. I’ve called for the nurse as you’re coming around properly.’ I blinked a few times and his fuzzy face became a bit sharper and I saw him looking down at me with a mixture of love and tenderness, his fingers locked in mine.

  ‘God Gabe, you look so sexy, you’re very sexy do you know that?’

  ‘That’ll be the drugs talking Mia. You’ve been mumbling some very rude things to me for the last few hours,’ he smiled down at me.

  ‘Hours?’

  ‘Yes. It’s three o’clock.’

  ‘Three? It’s already three?’

  ‘Yes, you went into theatre at nine and they bought you back in here at mid-day. You’ve been dosing in and out of sleep ever since.’

  ‘Hello Mia, you’re finally awake.’ I looked to my right and saw flirty Ann standing next to an upstanding blood pressure monitor and IV stand. ‘I’m going to see if we can remove your mask and put in some oxygen tubes instead ok?’ I nodded and felt a clip go on the end of my finger and we all watched the monitor for a while. ‘Ok, I’m going to take off your mask. Tip your head forwards for me,’ she instructed. I did as I was told and as she gently pushed some tubes onto the end of my nose I felt a cool rush of air run up each nostril. ‘That’s better you can put your head back. Would you like some water?’

  ‘Yes please, my throat feels sore.’

  ‘That’s because you’ve had a tube in your mouth to help you breathe while you had your procedure. Your boyfriend has a jug of water on the bedside table and a glass and straw, slow sips ok. He’s not left your side since you got back to your room, you’re a lucky girl,’ she smiled.

  ‘I know, I’m very lucky. He’s lovely and I love him,’ I sighed and felt his hand squeeze mine tightly.

  ‘I’ll let Dr Wells know you’re awake and she’ll come and talk to you soon. Just ring the buzzer if you need me and you have a morphine drip so if you are feeling any pain just click the button here ok?’ I looked down to see the tube into the back of my hand and the little cable with a button on the end resting on the edge of the bed.

  ‘Thank you,’ I heard Gabe say. She smiled at me and gave him another quick smile, blushed and walked out.


  ‘Mr Austin you’ve got a fan there, I think she wants in your pants.’ I smiled as I turned my head to look at him.

  ‘Well she can want away baby as you’re the only one getting in them, when you’re ready.’ He filled up a glass of water and held the straw to my lips.

  ‘You don’t have fantasies about nurses do you? I didn’t get you all excited and send you into her arms did I?’

  ‘No, but I like the idea of you in a sexy nurses uniform. By the way thanks to you I had to lock myself in the bathroom to wait for my hard on to go down.’

  ‘You didn’t relieve yourself?’

  ‘No, I was too worried about you for it to happen.’

  ‘Thanks for staying with me, I love you.’

  ‘Drink some more water for me please Mia,’ he ordered. I sucked at the straw as I looked up into his stunning eyes.

  ‘God you’re so good looking and I get to fuck you.’

  ‘Mia Page,’ he laughed. ‘I’m going to have to gag you. You’re very rude on drugs.’

  ‘Is that why I feel all woozy and happy?’

  ‘Probably. Are you in pain? If you are you need to press the button.’

  ‘No I’m good, but my tummy feels really swollen.’ I reached down and ran my hand over it. ‘Shit it’s HUGE what have they done to me? I’m fat,’ I gasped. He laughed at me again.

  ‘I think they pump you up with gas so they can see inside, it’ll go down don’t worry.’

  ‘I can’t stay fat or you won’t find me sexy anymore.’

  ‘I’ll always find you sexy baby. You look so pale, are you really feeling ok?’ he asked as he put his hand on my forehead to check.

  ‘Wow you’re like a hot doctor looking after me. A young hot sexy doctor. O my god you’re McSteamy. I always liked McSteamy better than McDreamy, everyone loves McDreamy but not me. McSteamy all the way. I was so sad when he died ... I cried.’

  ‘And you’re like a hot sexually frustrated drugged up patient. I have no idea what you’re talking about baby. Here drink some more water for me please,’ he asked. I sipped some more and looked around the room.