The Price Of Success (Fighting For Fireworks)

by Lee, Corri

Our eyes met and my grip on Cole’s hand tightened while my thighs clenched together. Every thrust, nip, breath and promise of that afternoon struck me like an axe and split me in two. I loved each man so dearly but couldn’t possibly see to understand how I could either evenly distribute or conceal that love for an evening.

  I was truly standing at the fiery gates of Hell.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  “Apologies for our tardiness, Mr Fiore. My sister had a wardrobe malfunction- you know how woman can be.” Nathaniel stared right at me as he spoke, blinking coolly as though I wasn’t even there. His glance passed over mine and Cole’s linked hands and his eyebrow raised- a reaction powerful enough to make me release my grip immediately and sweep up my wine. I could hear his thoughts echo in my mind- Fiore is the ‘other man’.

  I drained, refilled and nursed my glass of wine while the Alexander’s introduced themselves to Adam and Cole, tuning out their voices to white noise.

  “Cecelia, you look thoroughly fucked.” I spluttered into my drink and stared open-mouthed at Isaac, appalled by his tactless comment. Clearly Nathaniel was not my point of concern.

  “Excuse me?”

  “Fucked- exhausted. Like you haven’t slept for days. Is my brother working you too hard?”

  “Yes,” I muttered, raising the glass back to my lips with a scowl. My brain was certainly overworked with the mass of confusion and pressure. It was really impossible to know which of these men I wanted more. Immediate fireworks and danger, or gradual popping and stability? My stomach churned unpleasantly, forcing me to hunch over and fold my arms with a grimace.

  Cole rubbed my back gently and crooned next to my ear. “Don’t you feel well?” His breath on my neck made me shiver with delight- a reaction that halted immediately at the feeling of Nathaniel’s hand stealthily squeezing my thigh. I couldn’t see either of them agreeing to a threesome and I couldn’t see an escape.

  Bile quickly rose to the back of my throat with a forceful intention. I breathed through it for a moment before it returned with a vengeance, suppression beyond my control. Bethany was hot on my heels when I fled to the bathroom and held back my hair while I voided myself with the same aggression I had inflicted on Cornelia’s rose bush.

  “This is serious, isn’t it?” I answered with a heave and rested my head against the cold porcelain, numbed by my sickness. “Nathaniel’s crazy for you, isn’t he? I suspected, but… jeez. Do you want my opinion?” I nodded silently, eyes drooping through mental and physical exhaustion. “Let them have the pissing contest you’ve been hoping to avoid. Go home alone and decide in the morning. Let them embarrass themselves and decide whose idiocy you could stand for a lifetime.” She pulled me to my feet and leaned me against the wall to correct the smudges of my makeup. She didn’t need to be told how grateful I was for her indifference to my indiscretions- she already knew. “So… Jewish?”

  My face split into a smile and I choked out a laugh. “No. Not Jewish.”

  Bethany smoothed down my hair and kissed my widows peak before she allowed me to retake my place as piggy in the middle between Cole and Nathaniel. All eyes were on me, seeking reassurance and explanation. “Too much wine on an empty stomach. I’m fine.”

  “Didn’t Nathaniel feed you this afternoon?” Cole’s voice snapped at my ear with a note of irritation and he craned his neck to look behind me to shoot daggers at the back of Nathaniel’s head.

  “Relax Fiore,” he replied, keeping his eyes fixed on a menu. “I fed her. Her appetite just couldn’t be satisfied.” Cornelia snorted loudly then faked a sneeze and apology to cover herself. I was so screwed.

  But the answer seemed to satisfy Cole. He snaked an arm possessively around my shoulders and rested his forehead against my cheekbone. “Anything I can do to help, bella?”

  “A kiss might help.”

  He wrinkled his nose as I turned to look at him and patted my hand patronisingly. “I’ll politely decline, you’ve just been sick.” I wilted at the rejection and rested my forehead against my palm, willing the throb to escalate to a migraine so I had just cause to leave.

  “If you have a headache,” Nathaniel said quietly, eyes still fixed on the menu, “there are tablets in car. Lobke?”

  She looked up with a frown and shrugged haplessly. “What tablets?”

  “In the first aid box attached to the glove compartment.”

  “What first aid box?” She slowly moved her eyes across to me and winked- she knew damn well what first aid box. She took the keys to the Chrysler from her breast pocket and tossed them across the table to Nathaniel. “Prove me wrong, hot shot. I’m telling you now that we don’t have a first aid box.”

  He scooped up the keys with a dramatic sigh and threw the menu down, convincingly faking his irritation and rising from his seat. “Come with me, Cecelia.” I didn’t move, fearful of Cole’s reaction. “Come now, I don’t bite.” His grin flashed at me for a moment- his comment would have been far more innocuous if I didn’t know damn well that he did bite. And scratch. And growl…

  Pushing the erotic flashbacks aside, I looked to Cole for his permission to leave, and he granted me as such with the promise of water when I returned. Nathaniel said nothing until we reached the car, where he pushed me inside and locked the door behind us, looking at me like a lion fit to pounce on his prey.

  “You look celestial, Cecelia, I fear that my skin may crack and burn if I touch you.” I fell back across the full length of the seats and he prowled over me, graceful and panther-like. “I didn’t buy this dress. Did you pick it?” I nodded once, trapped in his crystalline gaze. “A fashionista is born. But there’s something wicked under this angelic gown, I could sense it the minute I walked through that door.” My breath held as his fingers skimmed the bust of my dress and tugged at the straps, exposing the cup of laced white basque.

  With a single blink, he leaned back and threw up the layered skirt to seek full view of the lingerie, fists closing around the hem as he released a shaking sigh of quiet reverence. To see him worship my body so intently pushed me into the realms of deep-set need. Cole never looked at me quite so longingly- Nathaniel’s need to be inside me was palpable. “Mon dieu, Lolita.”

  His weight fell over me and he made for a kiss that I obstructed with a hand to my mouth. “Nathaniel, no. I’ve just been sick.”

  “I don’t care.” He tugged my hand away and pinned it over my head, lowering his lips to mine with a murmur. “Your sickness is my sickness. I taste nothing but the sweet blossoms of your lips.” My body flooded with fire as his mouth met mine and I quickly fell in love with him all over again. Advantage Alexander.

  “You two took your time.” Adam narrowed his eyes at me suspiciously as I took my place, wary of the fact that I may have looked like I’d been up to no good.

  Nathaniel hovered behind me for a moment and shrugged off his jacket. “Lobke was right. There is no first aid box. I looked everywhere.” Mainly in my mouth and up my dress- not that you even looked for the damn thing. I sipped at the water Cole had poured for me and was insisting that I would be fine as soon as I’d eaten, when jaws dropped around me and gasped in horror.

  “Nathaniel, what the hell happened to your back?” I twisted in my seat and bit my lip with half shame and half humour. Nathaniel had turned to hang his jacket on a nearby coat rack and had revealed eight patchy strips of crimson across his shirt. I had realised that I may have been rough that afternoon, but my god!

  Isaac caught my expression and shook his head slowly, his puckish grin reaching his eyes but not his mouth. “Pre-dinner quickie? You’ve been savaged, Nate.”

  “There was nothing quick about it, I assure you.” Nathaniel lowered himself into his chair and resumed his impassive façade of ignorance to my presence. “They won’t stop bleeding- I can only presume that she’s part Bengalese.”

  “Nothing like that whore in Amsterdam who popped your cherry then?” Focus turned to Isaac, who nodded and stuck his tongue out cheekily before
refilling everyone’s glasses, voice cracking with suppressed chuckles. “It took a lot of weed to convince this one that waiting for his wedding night was erring on the side of unreasonable optimism when he was so bloody insistent on chasing fairy-tales. Good job he found Miss Yin or he’d have died with only one notch on his bedpost- a Dutch hooker with a dead look in her eye and a pimp who called her Steve.”

  Nathaniel blushed for the second time that day and five eighths of our party erupted into manic laughter. He glanced at me with a now-do-you-get-it look, and I did. The enormity of being freely given what he kept so restricted- there was no way I was going to get away from him. I had been sounded out as a bride.

  All eyes flashed to Bethany as she groaned “oh hell” loudly and cradled her head in her hands. “You know when you’re hit by the realisation that a situation is far more serious than you perceived? I just got that.” Adam pulled her close to rest her head on his shoulder and embraced her with a hug so deep that it sparked my jealousy.

  “Something at work?”

  “Definitely something at work.” She closed her eyes in exasperation and nestled into the crook of his neck, one hand on his leg, fingers flexing. She understood the implications of this situation too, and she felt my fear.

  With our orders placed, conversation tamed to something more appealing to all audiences. Isaac drew Cole and Adam’s attention with talk of the heavy music and fast women he dealt with on a daily basis while Cornelia spouted contradictory sentiments of disgust at their male libidos but sought gossip on which popular and attractive male musicians had recently come onto the market. Between this hearsay were Lobke’s tales of how her husband strived to keep their marriage fresh with crazy ideas. “Hot as hell,” she announced with a mouth full of garlic bread, “but I did have to point out that shackles weren’t openly available in Ikea.”

  I laughed in surprise at her adventurous attitude and shook my head. “You’re a dark horse, who’d have guessed that you were so kinky!”

  “Takes one to know one, Cici!”

  Isaac wiggled his eyebrows lewdly at me across the table and threw his napkin down onto his plate. “What does it take to get permission to call you Cici?”

  “A vagina.” I raised my glass to my lips and smirked. “The first man who took it upon himself to take that liberty was the last, I shit you not.”

  “What the hell did you do to him?” The past memories of my vindictive deeds bubbled fondly in my mind. My fling with my university professor had gotten too serious- he’d wanted too much of me. So I’d escaped him the only way I knew how.

  I’d removed him from the equation. “I told his boss that he was fucking his student.” The table stilled to silence and I feared that I’d said too much. Cole inched away slightly and drummed his fingers across the table top.

  “I didn’t know you could be so spiteful.” I failed to see the spite- I had aimed only to save myself from being overcome.

  “Would you initiate a sexual relationship with one of your students and propose after a fortnight?”

  “No, that’s sick.” He spat in disgust.

  “Well then.”

  “But I’m nearly ten years older than my students, Cecelia. Most of them are sixteen.” I steepled my fingers and smiled wryly, resting my elbows on the edge of the table.

  “I was eighteen and he was twenty-five. Does that make his abuse of a position of power right?” My face stiffened as I spoke. Abusing a position of power was exactly what Nathaniel was doing- exercising his control over his empire to trap me into a relationship. God knows I didn’t want to go down that path again.

  “But you got him fired because he called you Cici.”

  “He called me Cici because he was trying to get too close. God damn it, Cole!” I closed my eyes to compose myself and pushed my plate away, my hunger sapped by bad memories. “He took something I held dear and used it to impose himself into a more authoritative position in my life. My name is all I have to remind me of my parents and the only person who called me Cici other than Bethany was my dad.” My name, another human right which Nathaniel had imposed on.

  Cole slumped his shoulders for a second and chewed on the side of his mouth. His remorse for probing a raw nerve was obvious, but there was something else. “Was? I didn’t know your dad was dead. Jesus, I’m sorry. Your mother must be a strong woman to bring you up as such a well-rounded intellectual.”

  I scoffed in disbelief and ran my fingers through my hair. Cole knew nothing about me. The warmth I felt for him frosted with the realisation that he had made no real effort to learn anything about me. But what did I really know of him? His age, his heritage, his occupation and his address. Did I really know enough to love him? Still advantage Alexander.

  Except Nathaniel was exercising the same sorts of tactics to invade my life that I had obstructed before. He couldn’t have just introduced himself and invited me out for a drink like any other man- his money made him conceited enough to think that he could make me bend to his will. They were as bad as each other. No advantage.

  Make Me Wanna Die blared loudly from my bag on the table- a sound that confounded me. Only one number was set to that ringtone on my phone, and its owner was sitting next to me.

  Nathaniel smiled at me patiently and nodded his head towards the vibrations. “Aren’t you going to answer that?”

  “Y-yes… I…” I frowned at him and sighed. What on earth was he up to? “Excuse me.” I pulled my handbag from the table and sought refuge in the glass walled vestibule between the entrance and the dining room where I could see but not be seen.

  There was just the vague noise of chatter when I answered- the familiar voices of my dinner companions musing on my bad mood. Having no idea how long he intended to leave the line open, I hung up and called him back, basking in the genuine surprise on his face when his phone rang shrilly. Clearly whatever he’d planned didn’t involve my improvisation. “Lolita.”

  “Why did you call when you were right next to me?”

  “Reassurance. He won’t have you, Lolita. I won’t let him. You’re too much for him, you’re mine.” He spoke coolly and kept his eyes fixed on the hand that was fiddling with the widest end of his tie. “Next time you come to me, I’ll bite that basque right off your delectable body. You’ll scratch me so deeply that I’ll scar.”

  I bit down on my thumb to stifle my smile at the images my mind conjured. “You can’t turn me on like this tonight. You promised.”

  “I did no such thing. I told you that I’d trust you to address the matter yourself but I made no suggestion that I might allow you to torture me by not being with me.” I knew that he was being purposely ambiguous. “You still feel me inside you, don’t you? He smelled me on you- he was inside you first but he knows that you’re mine. If he kisses you now, he’ll taste you on me.”

  “Please don’t do this now.”

  “So reassure me. Tell me that you love me and that you’re mine, effective as of immediately.”

  “Nate, look at me.” He casually turned his head towards me and nodded when I was in his sights through a crack in the tables and decor. “I love you madly, but you’re pushing me too hard. I can’t just barge in and announce that we’re together tonight, not on his own turf.”

  “Alright. If I can’t tell him directly, I can sway him away from you. I will have you by any means necessary.” He hung up on me and the feeling of dread filled me once again. Would he really degrade me or drop sly hints to ruin me?

  He still had his phone to his ear when I returned to the table, pale faced and rapt with nerves. I presumed that it was all a part of the ruse, but at that time I didn’t really care. What he had said had sounded like a threat, and it looked like everyone who had a general idea of the true intent of the conversation shared the same idea. Only Adam and Cole were blissfully ignorant, and they traded gloating glances as I sat down.

  “Trouble in paradise, Alexander?” It figured that the only time Cole would initiate conversation w
ould be when he thought he had the upper hand.

  Nathaniel brushed his finger across his lips thoughtfully and hummed contemplatively. “Not trouble. A hiccup. Our relationship has an unwitting third wheel.”

  “She’s already cheating on you? Bad luck.” Cole swept his arm around my shoulders again and he smiled a little too pleasantly. “I can’t imagine how awful that must feel, but surely he knows that he has a rival? Dessert anyone?” His arrogance and blatant uncaringness was repulsive.

  “Yes.” I gushed, eager to have something to hide behind.

  Nathaniel passed me a dessert menu, holding on for just a moment too long before releasing it to me. “Thus is the gift of blissful ignorance, Mr Fiore. You wouldn’t look for the signs of deception unless you felt you had need to. Have you not already done so with Cecelia?”

  “Cecelia is different. She’s trustworthy. She’s just mind-blowing enough to obliterate every shred of common sense I have.” Eight pairs of eyes drove into me, screaming ‘liar!’

  “Indeed. But entertain the idea that my… intruder, is unaware. He doesn’t see the way her eyes flare when she hears my voice, the way her breath hitches when I walk into the room, her uncomfortable silence where she hates me for being too close to him.” I turned the menu over with a cough and scratched my scalp nonchalantly. “And he doesn’t see the way she strives to consciously disguise those tell-tale signs when she’s told that they happen.” I glanced up at Bethany and saw that she was struggling to hide a smile. I mouthed ‘fuck off’ and was met with a quiet laugh from Isaac, which I responded to with my middle finger.

  “So if she’s so crazy for you, why is she cheating on you?”

  “Because he had her first, Mr Fiore.” Nathaniel leaned back in his seat and slung one arm over its back. “But regardless of who put his dick in her first, it’s my face she sees when she fucks him.”

  Cornelia gasped in shock and leaned over to slap Nathaniel’s arm. “That’s such a crude attitude towards the woman you love. It’s no wonder she keeps her handsome pussy cat on one side- to lick the wounds you inflict on her.” Whatever they had rehearsed had clearly been thrown to the wolves and she was trying to fight my corner.