In the Heart's Shadow

by T. L. Haddix

  “That’s what I was thinking,” Ethan told them. “Charlie’s discreet, too.”

  “Stacy, what do you think?” Wyatt asked.

  “If it were anyone other than me at the middle of this, I’d be the first to call Charlie. Since it is me, I’m a little pissed off that I’m finding myself in this mess.”

  “I’d be concerned if you weren’t pissed off, to tell you the truth. Can you work with Charlie on this, or do I need to assign it to these two?” Wyatt gestured to Ethan and Jason.

  “I can work with Charlie. I’ll have him keep the three of you in the loop on what he finds.”

  Wyatt nodded. “The department will pay his fees, but that’s something we’ll have to work out on the side until we get some answers. Do you want to call Charlie, or do you want me to?”

  “I will, as soon as we leave here.” She turned to Gordon. “I’m sorry. I guess this changes our plans for today.”

  “There will be other days. We’ll take care of what we need to first.”

  “Good. That’s settled, then. So how did the surveillance installation go in the garage?” Wyatt asked Jason.

  “Pretty smoothly. I made sure all the lights on the camera were taped off, and it’s motion activated, so it will only run when something happens. I set it up to cover the side and back of the house and was able to get a pretty good angle on both. You might want to swing by and check it this evening if you get a chance,” he told her. “You’re familiar with the equipment.”

  “As long as she doesn’t short it out,” Ethan teased.

  “You—that’s not fair,” Stacy sputtered. “Just because electronics have a tendency to die around me does not mean I’m doing something to them. They just don’t make things like they used to.”

  “Uh-huh. What are you up to now in your squad car, four replacement radios?”

  Jason winked at her. “Yeah, and desk phones. She kills those, too.”

  “My phone’s been acting up lately, come to think of it,” Ethan mused. “Maybe the proximity to whatever force field you have going on is shorting it out.”

  Wyatt cleared his throat. “Now, boys. Let’s back off. After all, she can’t help whatever this affliction is. You shouldn’t make fun of her for killing two computers in the past year or Robbie’s phone. Wasn’t it a recent casualty? You’d borrowed it to make a call?”

  Stacy crossed her arms and hissed out a breath, struggling to hide her smile at their teasing. When Gordon deliberately reached down to his hip and made a show of taking his phone off and reclipping its holster to his left hip, she snickered.

  “Between Stacy and Murphy, you don’t have a chance,” Jason told him in a stage whisper. “Just add a ‘Stacy rider’ to your insurance policy right now. It will pay for itself in the first year.”

  “I’ll call my agent this afternoon. Thanks,” Gordon said.

  The implication that he’d be involved with her long term caused her heart to stutter. Some of the pain caused by the confirmation of her mother’s reappearance dissipated, and Stacy nudged his leg. “Don’t you start, too.”

  He didn’t smile, but his eyes were warm. “I didn’t say a word.”

  “Back to the conversation we were having,” Wyatt said. “You probably should stop by your house sometime today and make sure things are as you left them.”

  “Will do. We need to pick up my gun, anyhow. I apparently left it there.”

  Wyatt nodded. “What’s the plan, as far as where you’re staying? When are Chase and Annie due back?”

  “Not until the middle of next week,” Gordon answered. “Surely, we’ll have things figured out before then.”

  “One would hope,” the sheriff agreed. “Do we have anything else to discuss?”

  “We’ll try to go talk to all of Stacy’s neighbors today,” Gordon said. “If we’re going to be out there anyhow, it won’t hurt to see if they’ve noticed anything odd. If that’s okay by you.”

  “Sure,” Stacy said. “That’s fine. We need to do that.”

  The meeting ended, and Ethan and Jason headed out past a surprised Gretchen, who was back at her desk. Wyatt walked Stacy and Gordon out, and Ethan popped back in before they could leave.

  “Oh, and next time you try to paint the kitchen? Make sure you don’t take a sleeping pill the night before?” he asked Stacy with a frown. “If Gordon hadn’t gotten there when he did, you could have fractured that wrist again. And then where would we be?”

  Stacy made a face at him. “Hush. Don’t you have cases to be working on?”

  He saluted her and left, and Stacy turned back to see Gretchen shoot her a concerned look. “You hurt yourself again? Not seriously, I hope.”

  “No, it’s nothing to worry about.” She held up her right hand. “I just have to wear the brace for an extra day or so. And if there’s nothing else,” she told Wyatt, “I’d like to get back to my vacation. I think I answered all the questions Jason and Ethan had.”

  His eyes were full of approval. “I’ll walk you out. Gretchen, I’ll be back in about five minutes.”

  “Okay. Stacy, have fun.”

  “That went well,” Gordon remarked as they went down the hall toward Maria’s office. “The sleeping pill bit was a nice touch.”

  “Yeah, those things can be dangerous,” Wyatt added. “We’ve handled a few calls in the last three or four years since that one has been on the market that were directly related to the medication’s effects. No one will question that story, I don’t think.”

  Stacy adjusted the straps on the brace. “I just hope I can stay out of sight and take this stupid thing off. It’s a torture device.”

  “You two be careful out there asking around. Whatever the plan is, it could involve anything from pranks to murder. Keep your eyes and ears open.” Wyatt tapped on the doorframe to Maria’s office. “They’re all yours.”

  “Thanks. See you at lunch?”

  “Wouldn’t miss it.” With a brief pat on Stacy’s shoulder, then Gordon’s, he left.

  Maria pulled off her reading glasses and motioned them inside. “You know, most women would kill to have your complexion. I’d never know you’d been so upset earlier if I hadn’t seen it.”

  Stacy touched her fingers to her cheek. “It doesn’t show?”

  “Nope, not at all. How’d things go?”

  Exchanging a look with Gordon, she made a see-saw motion with her hand. “Pretty well, all things considered. I’m sure Wyatt will bring you up to date, and I’ll call you later.”

  “Sounds good. The two of you should come over for dinner tomorrow or the next day,” Maria suggested. “It’d be nice to get together and not talk about all the horrible things going on right now.”

  “That sounds like an excellent idea,” Gordon said. “What do you think?”

  Stacy agreed. “Just name the time, and we’ll be there.”

  Maria beamed. “Yay! Our first double date, then? I’ve wanted to do that for a while now.”

  “Yes, I guess it will be,” Stacy conceded with a tiny smile. “We’ll get out of your hair. Talk to you later.”

  “Be safe.”

  When they got halfway down the stairs, Stacy pulled Gordon to a stop. She paused on the step above him, and when he turned to her, she placed a hand on either side of his face.

  “What?”

  She shook her head. “Nothing. Just this.” She kissed him.

  His hands slowly came up to her waist, and Stacy kept the kiss light. The intimacy didn’t bother her as it had before, and she relaxed against him with relief. He pulled back to study her.

  “Okay?”

  “Yes. Maybe because I was in control. I don’t know.”

  The door on the first floor opened, and before they could move apart, deputies Robbie Bailey and Wes Mason came upstairs. Robbie’s eyebrows flew nearly to his hairline when he saw them, and he didn’t even bother to hide his amusement. “Get a room, people. Aren’t you supposed to be on vacation?”

  “I’m on m
y way out the door now.”

  “That’s not what it looked like you were doing. Speaking of looks, is that an actual dress you’re wearing? With high heels? Wes, my eyes must be deceiving me.”

  The other deputy snickered when Stacy flipped Robbie off. Robbie’s grin widened.

  “If it’s been so long that you don’t know what a woman in a dress looks like, we need to run an intervention, set you up with someone. I hear Gordon has a nice maiden aunt. What was her name? Olga? Gertrude? She’s taller than you are and has a mustache, but I’m sure you would get used to that. Eventually.”

  To her surprise, Robbie crossed his arms, his cheeks flushing. “Thanks, but I’m seeing someone.” The furtive look he shot Gordon made the hair on the back of her neck stand up.

  “Anyone I know?” she asked as casually as she could manage.

  He shrugged. “It’s a small town. I’m sure you do. We’d better go. The sheriff’s expecting us. Gordon, make her take her vacation time off, would you?”

  “I’m trying. I may have to borrow your handcuffs, though.”

  Stacy pinched him lightly, and he yelped.

  “Big baby. That didn’t hurt. Wes, Robbie, we’ll see you later.” She slid her hand into Gordon’s, and they continued down the stairs. They didn’t speak again until they were in his car.

  “That was weird. Oh, geez, I hope it’s not Robbie.” Stacy was devastated at the thought. “I didn’t imagine that response.”

  “No, you didn’t. Maybe there’s another explanation for it. I like him, too.”

  She blew out a breath. “I’ll do some digging, set Jason on him. He could pester a saint into giving up his secrets. Enough of this for now, though.”

  “Yes, it is. Where to, my lady?”

  She sat her purse on the floorboard. “Home, to bed. I’m exhausted.”

  Gordon didn’t even try to tease her. “You’ve been through a lot the last few days. If you want to go crawl in bed, then that’s where I’ll take you. What about Charlie, though?”

  “Yeah, there is that. And we need to find my gun and talk to my neighbors.” She dug in her purse for her phone. “I’ll call Charlie now, see if he can meet with us today. Listen, are you sure you want to get involved in all this? If I were in your shoes, I’d…” If she were in his shoes, she’d be right there beside him as long as he wanted her to be. She didn’t expect him to feel the same, however.

  “You’d what? Run for the hills?” Still in the parking lot, he slipped the car into neutral and set the emergency brake. “Would you really? If our situations were reversed, would you run?”

  Mutely, Stacy shook her head. “I couldn’t,” she whispered after a minute. “I couldn’t run.”

  Gordon took her hand, setting the phone in the console. “I’m not going to run, either. I’m exactly where I want to be and with the person I want to be with. It isn’t just about the romance, either. You matter to me. You have for a while now.” He kissed the back of her hand, then rubbed it against his cheek. “The sooner you start to understand that, the better. This isn’t casual for me or short-term. You could break my heart with very little effort, Stacy Kirchner.”

  Stacy was completely blown away. There was no teasing light in his eyes. As a matter of fact, he looked alarmingly somber. She could only think of one question. “Why?”

  “Why? There are a million reasons. The way you laugh. The way you smile. That little snort you make when you’re amused by something, but you don’t think anyone’s listening. The way you care about your job. The way you walk across a room. The list goes on and on. Maybe the biggest reason is because you don’t think you deserve love, and you can’t believe anyone would love you the way you are, scars and all. It isn’t any one thing. It’s everything.”

  She couldn’t look away from him. “What are you saying?” Her voice was faint. The answer terrified her, but she had to know.

  Seeming to struggle with the words, Gordon dropped his gaze to her hand. He swallowed, and his voice was low when he answered. “I’m saying I love you. You don’t have to say it back. I don’t expect you to, not yet. And please don’t tell me it’s too soon. I’ve been fighting with myself for months over you. I wasn’t sure I wanted to feel this way again. But here we are, and I can’t fight it anymore. I don’t want to.”

  The ringing of his cell phone was startling, and Gordon cursed. He fumbled it out of its holster and silenced it without taking his eyes off Stacy. “Talk to me?”

  “I don’t know what to say.” She was flabbergasted. On top of everything that had happened lately, she was having a hard time processing his declaration. She would have a hard time making sense of it on a good day.

  “Are you upset? Angry?”

  “No. I just wasn’t expecting this. I’m going to need to process what you said, but I’m not upset. I’m—I don’t know.”

  When his phone rang again, he visibly fought to control his temper. He still held it in his hand, and he glanced at the screen. “I should get this.”

  “Okay. Do you need privacy?”

  “No, it’s just Kathryn.” He answered the call, and Stacy picked up her own phone. She reached over and squeezed his right hand, which was playing with the steering wheel trim. When he looked at her, she held the phone up and mouthed “Charlie.” Gordon returned her squeeze, and she got out of the car, careful to not slam the door.

  She could hardly believe what had just happened, and she pinched herself to make sure she was awake as she dialed Charlie’s number. When he answered, she took a moment to respond.

  “Hey, sorry. It’s Stacy Kirchner. I have a job for you. Do you have a minute to discuss it?”

  “For you, I have ten minutes,” was Charlie’s friendly response. “What do you need?”

  “I need some background checks done, and I need them turned around ASAP. This is also eyes-only. You interested?”

  “Absolutely. I’m always willing to help you guys out. You know that. What’s the case?”

  She blew out a breath. “Well, it’s a case, but it’s also personal. Can we meet to discuss it?”

  Charlie’s tone became more brisk. “This sounds ominous. Sure, we can meet. When and where?”

  “You tell me. I’m open.”

  He didn’t answer immediately, and Stacy heard Katy cooing in the background. “Hang on just a second, Stacy.” He laid the phone down for a few seconds. “Sorry, she wanted up. She’s teething, so we try to accommodate her every wish right now. How’s this afternoon? And can you come to the house?”

  “We can. What time?”

  “It’s ten-thirty now, and Boo here will go down for her nap around one, if God is kind to me today. So how about one-thirty?”

  “That sounds good. Do you want us to knock when we get there, instead of ringing the doorbell?”

  The relief in his voice was evident. “If you could, that would be great. Thanks for the consideration.”

  “Not a problem. We’ll see you at one-thirty. Thanks, Charlie.”

  Gordon was off the phone when she got back in the car. “Everything set up?”

  “Yes, one-thirty. And we can’t ring the doorbell. Katy’s teething, and one o’clock is nap time.”

  “Noted. So, what now? Lunch? Library?” He didn’t look at her, and Stacy felt a sharp twinge of guilt.

  “How about the library, then lunch?”

  He put the car in gear and pulled out of the parking lot, and Stacy debated on what to do and say. She wasn’t ready to explore her feelings for him just yet, but she couldn’t not acknowledge his feelings. They were at the library in a very short time, and when he reached into the backseat to get his books, she took the opportunity to touch his face. He froze and looked down at her with a guarded expression. Her heart melted.

  “Oh, what am I going to do with you?” she whispered. “I’m so jumbled up inside right now, I don’t know if I’m coming or going. And then you come along, and you bring such light and warmth with you. It devastates me. It isn’t ca
sual for me, either. You should know that.”

  Gordon rested his forehead against hers. “I do know that. And I didn’t say what I did to pressure you. I just couldn’t stand you thinking you aren’t loved. It was tearing me up, watching you.” He pressed his lips to her forehead. “Come on. No heavy stuff for the next little bit, okay? Let’s take some time for us.”

  “I think that sounds like an excellent idea.”

  As they went into the library, hand in hand, Stacy marveled at the wonder of it all. The hurdles in front of them didn’t seem quite as daunting as they had a few hours before.

  CHAPTER 18

  THROUGHOUT THEIR VISIT TO THE library, Gordon teased Stacy. From little touches to the back of her neck, which was exposed by her pinned-up hair, to sneaking in hugs in a quiet corner, by the time they got to the checkout counter, her cheeks were flushed, and she kept shooting him secretive smiles. Being able to flirt with her openly and have her return his affection opened a part of his soul that had been closed off since Mallory’s death.

  Gordon greeted Ethan’s mother, who was one of the librarians. “Stella, how are you?”

  She smiled at him, her eyes widening just a little as he laced his hand with Stacy’s. “I’m fine. How are you two today?”

  “We’re good. Hey!” he protested as Stacy slid a book off his stack and onto her own. “I’ve been waiting weeks to read that.”

  “Huh, what about that? So have I.” Stacy winked at Stella. “I might let you borrow it, if you’re nice to me.”

  “Oh, really? Define ‘nice,’ if you will.”

  Stacy studied her wrist brace. “I’ll think of something, I’m sure. What do you think, Stella? Dishes, laundry? Wash my car?”

  Stella laughed. “Oh, sweetie. If I were your age and had a young man like this one at my disposal? Chores would be the last thing on my mind.”

  When Stacy’s laughter joined Stella’s, Gordon felt his face heat. They finished getting their books and left after a little more small talk. As they got in the car, Stacy hmmm’d.

  “What?”