In the Heart's Shadow

by T. L. Haddix

  Stacy’s smiled trembled. “Only one way to fix that.”

  “There is, isn’t there?” Touching her lips with his fingers, he bent to press a kiss to the corner of her mouth. He was shaking, both from nerves and eagerness. After so many months of waiting, of wanting, the moment was finally here. Everything was going to change after tonight, and that scared him a little. If he wasn’t careful, he could hurt Stacy, and that was the last thing he wanted to do.

  “Off, please.” She tugged on his shirt. Gordon obliged her with a smooth move, and as he tossed the shirt aside, he hoped he had the skills and control to do what he had to in order to make her enjoy the night ahead.

  CHAPTER 21

  STACY ITCHED TO TOUCH GORDON’S bare chest. Giving in to the impulse, she rested her palms there. He was so warm, and his chest was lightly covered in silky hair. As she moved her hands, his muscles bunched and jumped under her touch. When she chanced looking up at him, the intensity in his gaze seared her. She couldn’t look away.

  “What now?” she whispered.

  “Now we just enjoy each other. Can you take your shirt off?”

  Stacy took a step back and eased the garment over her head. She clenched it to her, not letting go, her arm slowly dropping to her side. She didn’t take her eyes off Gordon’s face, needing to know if he was repulsed by the scars on her chest and belly. When a flush spread across his cheekbones and he swallowed, she breathed a quiet sigh of relief. Far from being repulsed, he seemed to be enchanted.

  “You have been hiding,” he murmured huskily.

  “A little.”

  He slipped his thumbs under the wide lacy straps of her midnight-blue bra. “A little. Yeah, more than a little. Why? Is it the job or the other thing?” He eased the straps off her shoulders, rubbing at the red marks they’d left behind.

  “Both. They’re a distraction, and I don’t want people to see my breasts first, then me. And I don’t like the way men look at me when I don’t wear a minimizer,” she admitted. “Present company excluded.” Stacy had long been uncomfortable with the size of her breasts. Because she was petite, her D-cups were even more obvious.

  “It’s a shame, though. You shouldn’t have to hide these. This can’t be comfortable.” He traced the edges of the cups, and the sensation sent flutters through Stacy. When he reached around to undo the clasp, she didn’t protest.

  As the bra dropped, Gordon’s breathing sped up and he backed up, drawing her with him. He sat on the bed and slid his hands up from her hips to cup her breasts. The reverence in his gaze and touch made Stacy want to cry. There was plenty of heat, almost too much, between them. It made her uncomfortable, but drew her in at the same time. The soft, gentle way he touched her, as though he were terrified of hurting her, helped Stacy let go of some of her discomfort.

  From there, it was so simple. They shared kisses, touches, caresses—even laughter and teasing, which she hadn’t expected. Whenever she started to feel overwhelmed, Gordon backed off, letting her regain her equilibrium enough that she was eager to continue. He didn’t rush her, even though he had to be feeling a lot of pressure to finish. What was happening between them was so far removed from anything she’d experienced before. Stacy would have been hard-pressed to put it into words.

  By the time they were ready for the condom, Stacy was more than ready to see the act finished. When he moved over her, she felt a moment’s trepidation, but then she was so focused on the sensations of having him inside her that all thought fled.

  “You okay?” His voice was strained.

  “Umm-huh. If you stop now, I’ll shoot you.” To punctuate her words, Stacy slid her hands down his back, digging her nails into his skin. After that, there were no more words, only magic.

  A long time later, Stacy finally felt like she could breathe enough to speak. Every muscle in her body was weak, and she used all her strength to raise her hand and touch Gordon’s face. Even then, she couldn’t find the words to tell him how she felt.

  He seemed to understand without her speaking, though. “Okay?”

  She nodded.

  “I’ll be right back.” He grabbed a tissue and dealt with the condom as he got out of bed.

  As he walked toward the door, faint white lines crisscrossed his lower back, buttocks, and the backs of his thighs. She bit her lip to keep from crying out as she realized that he’d been beaten badly enough to leave scars. When he opened the door, both cats were looking at him with curious expressions. He had to step over them when they didn’t move out of his way.

  Murphy and Chloe had joined her on the bed before he got back. Murphy had settled in for a quick bath, but Chloe sat staring at Stacy, her ears and eyes alert.

  “I don’t think she quite knows what we were doing in here.” Stacy reached out, but Chloe backed away.

  “She’ll adjust.” Gordon tickled the cat, then moved her aside as he drew the covers back. “It’s cold out here.”

  Welcoming him with open arms, Stacy squeaked as he rolled her over so that she was lying on top of him. He pulled the covers up, and she slid off him and tucked herself under his arm.

  “Do you have any idea what this means to me, what we did here?” she whispered. “That it was you?”

  He cupped her face and placed a tender kiss on the crown of her head. “Yeah. I have some idea. It meant just as much to me. I hope you know that.”

  Stacy touched his face. “I do.” She lay back down, her head resting on his shoulder. She was completely relaxed, and before she could think twice, she was asleep.

  The sun was already up when Stacy opened her eyes the next morning. Gordon wasn’t there and neither were the cats, but she could hear movement from downstairs. She grabbed his discarded T-shirt. Tugging it on, she hurried into the bathroom.

  As she brushed her teeth, she glanced at her reflection. She didn’t look all that different, she was happy to see, except for one red mark on her neck. As she pulled the shirt to the side to see better, her eyes widened.

  “Oh, my God. I have a hickey.” She sputtered toothpaste foam all over the mirror and the sink with embarrassed laughter. A quick tap sounded at the door, and she coughed as she tried to clear her mouth. “Just a minute.”

  Once she had rinsed her mouth, she opened the door. “Yes?”

  “Have you seen my shirt?” Gordon was smiling, propped up against the doorjamb. He was dressed only in his jeans from the night before, and the sight made Stacy drool. His eyes turned smoky as he took in her attire. “Never mind. I see that you have.”

  “Do you want it back?”

  He stepped into the bathroom and backed her up against the counter, closing the door with his foot. He bent down and captured her mouth in a searing kiss.

  “Mmm, coffee?” Stacy asked as he lifted his head. She let her hands trail down his abdomen and started boldly unbuttoning his jeans.

  “Waiting downstairs, along with fresh croissants. With Chase and Annie.”

  “What?” Shrieking, she dropped her hands away from his jeans and tugged at his shirt, trying to make it cover her more. “Why didn’t you tell me, you rogue! What if I’d come downstairs naked?”

  Gordon laughed and wrapped her in a tight hug. “I had an ear open for you. I wouldn’t let that happen. You know better.”

  Stacy hid her hot face against his chest, pinching him at the waist. “Still…”

  “One of these days, I want to wake up with you slowly,” he told her, his voice low. “That said, good morning. How do you feel?”

  “Like I’m still dreaming. I can hardly believe last night happened.”

  He laced his fingers together behind her and nuzzled her face. “Three times, thank you very much.”

  Stacy let him lead her into a slow, intimate kiss. By the time he drew back, he was cursing. “Karma’s a bitch. Chase would do well to remember that the next time he decides to come home early.”

  “Mmm. Why are they here?”

  “Annie felt like they needed to be.” He reluc
tantly buttoned his jeans. Before she could respond, he frowned and pushed aside the loose neck of the shirt. “What’s this? Crap. I don’t remember doing that. I’m sorry.”

  Stacy knew she had to be wearing a cat-that-swallowed-the-canary grin. “I’m not. I think I have a shirt that will cover it.”

  The knock on the door made them both jump.

  “What?” Gordon growled.

  “So sorry to interrupt,” Chase said. His tone said otherwise. “We’re going to go stretch our legs. I just wanted to let you know that, in case you wandered downstairs and we weren’t there.”

  Gordon’s eyes lit up. “A long walk?”

  “About five minutes.”

  “Damn. Ow.”

  Stacy smacked his rear. “You guys are awful.” She didn’t think her words carried much weight, though, since she was snickering when she said them.

  Chase’s laughter came through the door. “See you downstairs.”

  “That hurt.” Gordon rubbed his backside.

  “I’ll kiss it later and make it all better,” she promised. “But right now, I’m going to go get dressed.”

  He stopped her as she was twisting the doorknob. “He might still be out there. Jason’s not the only Hudson with a weird sense of humor.”

  Stacy stood back and let him peek around the door. “Is he?”

  “Nope. All clear.” He let her go in front of him. “Do you want the shower?”

  “Please? I’ll get my clothes.”

  Once she was showered and dressed, Stacy made the bed in Gordon’s room. She hesitated, flushing, as she realized the sheets would need to be washed. After a few indecisive moments, she went ahead and made the bed, deciding to ask Gordon how to handle the laundry issue when she got a chance. He came in as she was finishing up, his hair still damp from the shower. He was buttoning his shirt and paused briefly when he saw her rapt stare.

  “Ready to go downstairs?”

  Stacy tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “I guess.”

  He held out his hand. “Come on. They won’t bite.”

  “But they’ll know we…” She glanced at the bed. “Why is this harder than what happened last night?”

  “Because it isn’t as much fun.”

  “Ha ha.” She squeezed his hand. “Let’s get this over with.”

  Chase and Annie were in the kitchen, watching the cats interact. Chloe had gone back to being the queen, with Murphy following her lovingly.

  “How long have they been doing—good God, you’ve got a woman behind you!” Chase exclaimed as they came in. “We go away, thinking we’ve left our cat-child in good hands, only to come back and find this—this debauchery. For shame.”

  Gordon growled a warning, but Annie effectively solved the problem by smacking her husband in the arm with a roll of paper towels.

  “Chase Hudson, watch your mouth. Stacy is a guest in our home.” Setting down the dented paper towels, she hurried over to them with outstretched arms. “Stacy, I apologize for him. How are you?”

  Stacy accepted Annie’s hug. “I’m the one who should apologize.”

  “What for?” Annie drew back with a puzzled frown. When she saw the embarrassment on Stacy’s cheeks, she shook her head. “You should not. We’re not going there. Come on, tell us what’s going on with your house. All Gordon was capable of earlier was a few grunts, until we shoved coffee under his nose. Then we got one-word responses. Oh, we stopped in town and brought breakfast.”

  “You do know I’m just teasing you, right?” Chase said as they sat at the kitchen table. He handed her a cup of steaming coffee. “And that you’re more than welcome here?”

  “Yes, and thank you.”

  Gordon stretched his arm along the back of her chair, and the weight was a comforting presence. “I’ll tell them what’s going on if you want to eat.”

  “These are ham and cheese, and these are chocolate.” Annie pointed, holding out the box of croissants. Stacy took one of each and tried to distance herself from the story Gordon was telling as she ate. Even before he reached the details of the drugging and vandalism, Chase and Annie were staring at her in horror.

  “Thank God that’s as far as it went. It’s still too far, but damn,” Chase said, sitting back. “So that’s how you came to be staying here, you and Chloe?” The cat jumped up in his lap after a polite meow, and he scratched her chin.

  Stacy nodded. “It is. If she hadn’t been here, it just doesn’t bear thinking about, what could have happened to her.” She took a swallow of coffee to regain her emotional control. She was safe, and so was Chloe. That was all that mattered.

  “We set up a camera in her garage after the vandalism, and we caught her mother on tape, going into the house just before the fire started. Right now, only a handful of people know that tape exists.” Gordon’s rubbed his thumb along her shoulder, no doubt feeling the increased tension there. “We’re meeting with the state police and the fire marshal today.”

  Annie was quiet as they talked. Her hand covered Chase’s where it rested on the table. Stacy figured hearing about the fire was bringing back bad memories from the previous fall, from when her shop and apartment had burned.

  “This can’t be easy for you to listen to,” she remarked.

  Annie started to protest, then shrugged. “It isn’t. Especially having it happen to someone I like. But my main concern is your safety. What do we do to protect you?”

  “We’re planning on leaving town for a few days,” Gordon answered. “Probably this evening, we’ll head to my house in Louisville. Charlie’s working on background searches, and with any luck, he’ll have something in a day or so at the outside.”

  “How can we help?” Chase asked.

  Stacy looked at Gordon. He gave her a subtle nod and squeezed his arm around her shoulder. “I need a babysitter. How would you feel about keeping Chloe for a few days?”

  Chase smiled. “Seriously, you don’t even have to ask. You two have been watching our demon child. Keeping this sweetie should be a breeze by comparison.”

  Chloe purred loudly and settled down, closing her eyes, as if to agree with his statement.

  “She’s so soft.” Annie petted the cat. “And Murphy’s been so calm since we came in. It’d be a blessing to have her. We may have to consider getting him a sibling.”

  Gordon cleared his throat. “Yeah, uh, have you seen your closet yet? I think I’ll probably owe you some compensation for damages.”

  Annie’s eyes widened. “Oh, no. I forgot about that. Stacy, will you go with me to check? I’m not sure I can face that on my own.”

  “Sure.”

  As they climbed the stairs, Stacy asked Annie why they’d come back early. “Please tell me it wasn’t because of this thing with me.”

  Annie stopped at the top of the stairs. “Oh, no. Well, that was part of it, but a small part. No, we talked to Beth a couple of nights ago. She told me that the routine amnio they’d done to check the babies’ lung development had come back with good results. That means the babies could come at any time, instead of three or four weeks from now, like we’d thought. So my gut said, ‘Go home now,’ and here we are.”

  “Seeing her, I don’t think she can go much longer without delivering. She has to be miserable.”

  “I can imagine.” Annie led Stacy into the bedroom and closed the door. “Let’s see how much damage the demon has done.”

  When she opened the closet and turned on the light, both women gasped. To Stacy’s surprise, Annie laughed. “That sneaky little cat. I would love to have seen Gordon’s face when he discovered this.”

  “We were on the phone at the time. I think the first thing he found was one of your bras. He thought for a minute someone was borrowing your bedroom for wild monkey sex.”

  Still laughing, Annie dug through the pile and pulled out a ravaged raspberry lace bra. “This one probably.” She winced. “I really liked that bra.” She let it drop and lifted a few more garments.

  �
�He is a special cat, your Murphy.”

  “Uh-huh. Special. Thank God he can’t reproduce.” Annie straightened with a sigh and came out, closing the door. “Do you know yet if you’ll be able to salvage your clothes?”

  “No. I’m hoping it will have cooled down enough for us to get in there later this afternoon. They’re all probably ruined, though, if not from the fire itself, then from the smoke and water.”

  “You never know. Depends on how bad the fire was and how far into your closet it got. I know some tricks that I can show you, if you’d like.” An orange paw swiped under the door, and Annie smiled as she let Murphy in. She scooped him into her arms, cradling him close. “If you weren’t so danged cute, you’d be fertilizer by now.”

  Murphy purred and tapped her chin with a soft paw. Stacy could almost see Annie’s ire over the closet destruction melt.

  “He missed you so much. I think that’s why he was so upset the first few days.” Stacy followed Annie down the hall. “And I’ll take you up on those tips, probably. The dress and sweater I was wearing yesterday were favorites, and they reek.”

  “From being near the fire? Those should be easier to save, then. Oh, and that consignment shop up on the hill, in the strip mall next to the theater? That’s a great place to start looking for anything you can’t replace.”

  Stacy nodded. “I know it well. May I ask you something?”

  “Sure.”

  “How did you manage to move past the loss? I know intellectually that what I lost is just things, but…”

  Annie shook her head. “I don’t agree with that. Oh, to some degree, yes. Most belongings can be replaced. But I think you’re a nester, like me. You chose what you owned because it spoke to you. Losing it hurts.”

  The tears that sprang to her eyes surprised Stacy. “That’s it exactly. And I know I can find more that speaks to me, but I’m going to miss some of those pieces.” She explained about the dining room set.