Underwater

by Doe, Anna B.

  Taylor and his friends are sticking their surfboards into the sand and getting out of their wetsuits.

  “You’d think he wouldn’t come here after everything that went on the other day,” She muses, putting the desserts on her own platter.

  I roll my eyes at her. “First he would have to know what he did wrong, which he obviously doesn’t.”

  Taylor looks around, his eyes finally settling on me. He smiles his boyish smile, waving. I will my lips to curl into a smile in return as I wave back.

  “This is so weird.” I turn around to my best friend, covering my face in embarrassment. “How can I look him in the eyes when what I assumed was a date turned out to be a group outing? With his friends, no less.”

  Noel pulls my hands off my face, giving me a wide smile, and pushes the metal tray into my hands. “Easy. You go there, you smile and joke, not showing how the whole thing threw you for a loop. You flirt and try again because you said it yourself—go big or go home. Now put on your big girl panties and go!”

  She turns me around and gives me a push.

  I throw another worried glance to her over my shoulder, but she shoves me away. So much for being my best friend. Shouldn’t she have my best interest at heart?

  Ty and his group choose a table close to the edge of the terrace so they can have their boards in sight. His blond hair is messy and wet from the ocean, and he’s only wearing his striped swimming trunks.

  Tucking a runaway strand of my hair behind my ear, I stop in front of their table. “Hey, guys! What’s up?”

  Inwardly, I cringe at my too cheery and so-not-me tone, but they grin, turning toward me. There is Ty, Rob, two guys I don’t know by name but have seen in school and, of course, Caleb.

  My heartbeat slows down, but I don’t think I can breathe for a second. Caleb’s shaking his head, trying to dry his dark, wet hair. Droplets of water fall everywhere around him. One lone strand of hair falls over his forehead, and he pulls it back. He always keeps the sides of his hair short but the top on the longish side. His more-green-than-brown eyes settle on me.

  I remember last night.

  His nearness.

  His smell.

  His touch.

  His words.

  It all comes back at once.

  I see you, Marissa.

  Breaking the stare, I turn toward Ty, smiling. He’s looking at me curiously.

  “What? Do I have something on my face?” Self-consciously, I rub my cheek.

  Ty shakes his head. “You spaced out for a second.”

  “Sorry.” I let my hand brush against his on the table. It’s a small touch, nothing unusual between friends, but I don’t want to be just his friend anymore. “What were you saying?”

  “We just finished with surfing and decided to stop by.”

  “Did you catch some waves?”

  “It was pretty quiet…”

  “Yo, Marissa… Can you bring us something to drink and then you two can continue with your flirting game?” Rob starts laughing and the other guys join him.

  I blush vigorously, and Ty shoves his friend away. “We’re not flirting, dumbass! She’s a friend.”

  His words stab me in the heart, the connection I felt with him just a moment ago ruined.

  “Right.” The words feel bitter in my mouth, but I push them out. “We’re just friends. What can I get you?”

  I force a smile on my face, writing down their order. I don’t do it often, already used to this work, but I’m restless and humiliated. My cheeks still feel warm, and I can feel Caleb’s piercing eyes looking at me. I ignore him on purpose, barely acknowledging him as I write down his order.

  As soon as I have it written down, I turn on the balls of my feet and head to the counter. I make sure my back is straight, head lifted high. I don’t want to let them know they affect me. That he affects me. Either one of them.

  Not Ty’s rejection.

  And sure as hell not Caleb’s knowledge of my humiliation.

  Muttering softly, I put the tray on the counter and start grabbing drinks. Luis, our long time bartender is managing the bar outside. Mom is usually the one in here, but I guess she’s busy preparing more pastries or something similar.

  I start grabbing their drinks and desserts when Noel storms in, her own tray full of empty glasses and bottles.

  “How did it go?” She frowns when she sees my face. “You don’t look happy.”

  “Why am I doing this again?”

  “Because you’ve been crushing on the guy for years and you want to see if there is something there.”

  “The more I try, the more disappointed I become.” I sigh in frustration.

  “Look on the bright side. You’re giving it your all. Even if it doesn’t turn out the way you want, it’ll help you move on. There are many more guys out there, and you’re not even noticing them because you’ve been obsessed with this one for years.”

  “I can’t choose who I fall in love with, Noel!”

  “I didn’t say you have to choose, but maybe open your heart to the possibility.” Her hand grips my shoulder in support. “Who knows, maybe if he sees you with another guy, he’ll start noticing you as more than just his buddy.”

  Another guy?

  Like there are guys offering to be my fake boyfriend on every corner. That kind of stuff only happens in books and movies, not real life. Then again, mermaids are also things stories are made of, and here I am. Just a drop of ocean water and my silky legs turn into a tail with scales.

  “Who would even want to be my pretend boyfriend?” I shake my head. “No, this is crazy. I’m not going to think about it.”

  “Maybe you should.” Her eyes settle somewhere over my shoulder.

  I’m tempted to turn around, but I don’t. I can’t. Seeing him look through me hurts too much.

  “I don’t want to deceive him, Noel.”

  “All’s fair in love and war, honey.” She winks at me playfully. “Remember that.”

  “You’re crazy.” I shake my head at her antics. “I’m going out. Rob will kill me if he doesn’t get his hands on this triple-chocolate with extra sprinkles and whipped cream ice cream cup.”

  Her laughter follows me all the way out. I scan my part of the terrace looking for where I have to go after I deliver the guys’ order.

  “Here’s our girl!” Rob’s over-the-top sweetness makes me crack a real smile. I give them their drinks and desserts, leaving the bill on the table.

  “Do you need anything else?”

  “We’re good.” Ty shakes his head as we watch Rob stuff his face full of ice cream. His eyes roll to the back of his head as he hums contently.

  “’his is ahmazing,” Rob mumbles with a full mouth as he points at the half-eaten ice cream. “Are you coming to the party later? You should. Maybe I’ll get a chance to bribe you into bringing me another one of these.”

  “I didn’t…”

  “She’ll come!” Noel throws her hand around my shoulder, squeezing me tightly. “You’re talking about that bonfire at the beach party, right?”

  “Yeah, our whole class is coming. Will you be there, gorgeous?” Rob winks at her.

  Noel giggles next to me. “I guess you’ll have to wait and see if you can find me.”

  Rob wiggles his brows playfully, looking at both of us. The guys snicker all around him, teasing him. “It’s game on, baby.”

  “Bring it.” Noel winks at him, laughing and pulling me away. “Come on, let’s get back to work.”

  Marissa

  “This is so stupid!” I complain loudly. “Why did you put me up to this?”

  Noel gives me a look from the driver’s seat. “No, this isn’t stupid. He’ll be here. You want to get his attention, and now’s the time to do it.”

  My fingers fidget with the edge of my super short lacy skirt. “In this?”

  “You look fine.” She rolls her brown eyes at me. I’ve been fussing about every single detail. Everybody thinks I’m desperate as i
t is. I see the pity looks they send my way. I don’t want to move into a desperate stalker category. “It’s a party. They expect you to dress up. Trust me, it’s less obvious this way than if you went on a real date.”

  “Thank you for adding salt to the wound,” I deadpan.

  “You’re so cute when you’re all grumpy, Risa.” Noel giggles, opening her door. I guess we’ve been sitting in the parking lot long enough. “Now, put on your big girl panties, and let’s go. We’re late.”

  “I left them at home,” I yell from my seat, taking a few seconds longer just to irritate her, only it’s not working. Noelani is laughing so hard she’s bending forward. “There wasn’t enough space underneath this skirt for panties.”

  Noel takes me in from head to toe once I get out. Reluctantly, I might add.

  She made me put a simple white tank top with a dark purple lacy skirt. She wanted me to wear a pair of her wedges, but instead I chose one of my nicer pairs of flip-flops. The party is at the beach, for God’s sake!

  Noel straightened my hair. It falls in a sleek line all the way to my waist. Sometimes I forget how long it is since it’s mostly curly and I wear it in a ponytail, but I like it like this. Tamed and glossy.

  Elegant.

  Noel also worked on my make-up. I don’t bother with much make-up on an everyday basis. Just a bit of mascara and lip gloss and I’m good to go, but tonight Noelani decided to put some shimmery eyeshadow and eyeliner to “make my eyes pop”. Whatever that means. I just hope I don’t look like a fish with my eyes popping. That would be weird.

  Finally, she nods her head in approval. “You should joke more. Guys like when you’re funny.”

  I roll my eyes at her, giving up. Noel pulls me in a hug when I come to her, locking the door. “Come on, girlie! You can do it.”

  Together, we leave the makeshift parking lot and go toward the light of the flames illuminating the dark night and the sound of the music blasting in the air.

  I’ve been to a few parties since I’ve been in high school. They’re usually held at this beach, farther away from town so that the noise doesn’t disturb anybody, except maybe the fish.

  A huge bonfire is built in the middle of the beach. People bring food, drinks and towels. Some come earlier to park in the sand, lowering their windows and turning on the music. It’s fun and relaxing.

  A bunch of kids are in the shallow part of the ocean, tossing around a beach ball. Others are lying down on their towels in small groups, talking with friends. A few couples are dancing, while some bake s’mores closer to the fire.

  “Ain’t that little Miss Tease?” Rob looks in Noel’s direction and wiggles his way between us, his hands falling over our shoulders. “Where is my ice cream, Risa?”

  “No ice cream tonight, sorry.”

  “I don’t think it would have survived how long it took Risa to get ready and come here.” She leans forward, her tongue darting out, teasing me.

  “Noel!” I pinch her, mortified.

  Rob looks at us curiously. “Is this how a catfight starts?” He rubs his hands together, grinning. “Because if it is, I’m totally down for it.”

  “What?”

  “No!”

  “Okay, okay!” He lifts his arms in the air. “A guy can dream…”

  I laugh, suddenly feeling a little bit relaxed. Robert just has that effect on people.

  I can do this.

  “Now, let’s get you something to drink.” He walks us to the closest keg, grabs two Solo cups and fills them with beer.

  I want to refuse it and just grab a bottle of water or something, but Noel pushes the cup in my hand.

  “Liquid courage.” She winks playfully.

  The smell of the beer is awful, but I make myself take a drink. My face curls in disgust at the taste of it. It’s not cold, but not quite warm either. Thick foam falls down my throat, and I choke on it.

  Rob and Noel laugh at me, her small hand tapping at my back until I start breathing normally again. “Not that fast!”

  “This is awful! Why would somebody drink this willingly?”

  Rob laughs louder, drawing attention from the people around us. “It’s an acquired taste.”

  I frown. “Not for me.” I give the cup back to him. “Take it away, please!”

  He continues laughing, drinking what’s left in my cup and finding the closest trash can to throw it away. While he’s at it, he grabs a bottle of soda and gives it to me.

  “Come on, the guys are this way.”

  Noel grins at me excitedly as we follow Robert to meet our friends.

  They’re sitting farther away from the fire, towels spread on the sand, Solo cups and open bottles scattered about. Two boards are lying down next to them, along with suits covered in sand.

  “Look who I found,” Rob announces happily.

  Five pairs of eyes turn toward us. Ty, another shorter guy from our school, and two girls. I think one is named Tisha or something like that. I’m not sure. I see them surfing with boys a lot. Oh, and Caleb.

  His eyes find mine from the other side of the circle. We look at each other for a second, then I break the stare and sit down, Noel effectively pushing me into an open seat next to Taylor.

  I give her a small nudge in her side, but she ignores me.

  “Hi, Risa.” Taylor grins. “How was work?”

  “Busy. The tourists are starting to come. Which is good for business.”

  His laughter makes butterflies flutter in my stomach. It’s light and filled with boyish happiness.

  “Your mom will be happy to see more than just high school kids around.”

  “Business is business,” I say in my best Mom voice. “Every client is a good client as long as he pays.”

  We both laugh at the ridiculousness of my impersonation. I should never try to be an actress because I suck.

  “I guess that’s true.” He nods his head, looking at me sideways.

  My smile slowly dies as he stares at me. A strand of hair falls in my face, shielding me from his curious eyes. Ty leans forward, and I feel my mouth get dry. The tip of my tongue darts out to wet my lips. He lifts his hand, fingers reaching for a silky strand.

  My heartbeat slows down and the butterflies start jumping around my stomach like crazy, waiting for his touch.

  Touch me.

  My skin tingles excitedly.

  He’s not really a touchy person, and even when he initiates some kind of physical connection, it’s platonic.

  Friendly.

  But not this time.

  I can see it in his eyes.

  They’re a shade darker than his usual light, sky blue color. Curiousness and interest are written all over his face.

  His fingers are almost there, touching my cheek when our bubble bursts.

  “Hey, Ty! What do you…”

  I want to groan loudly and throw myself to the ground, causing a temper tantrum worthy of an angry two-year-old. Why the hell did they have to ask something now? Why couldn’t they wait? Taylor was finally starting to notice me. He was about to touch me. Then one of his friends had to interrupt and ruin everything. I can see our connection break like it’s a living, breathing thing. When his name was called, his eyes widened suddenly.

  What the hell are you doing, Ty?

  I can see the question roll in his mind over and over again. He retreats, pulling his hand back like I burned him, guilt written all over his face.

  My stomach clenches hard, butterflies that were there just mere seconds ago now a dead weight that’s making me nauseous.

  Swallowing, I turn my head only to find Caleb’s eyes looking at me.

  Hard and steady.

  Probing.

  His lips are pressed into a tight line, and his eyes are narrowed. The way they shine in the light of the flame… he looks almost angry.

  What is his problem?

  I lift my brows in question. I’m not going to give him the pleasure of seeing me hurt.

  After a long stare-off,
he turns his head away, joining in on the conversation. I only listen with half an ear.

  Do these guys talk about anything besides surfing? I sigh inwardly. I know my way around the surfboard just as well as any Hawaiian girl, but it’s not my life. I don’t know all the professional terms, and I don’t do crazy shit on the waves.

  Maybe if I did, Taylor would notice me? We’d have more to talk about, that’s for sure. But I guess, for now, I won’t be able to find out. Right now, I can’t come close to the ocean if I don’t want to scale-out and give him a heart attack. And by the time this is all over, I’ll either be condemned to an eternity in the ocean or he’ll like me even though I’m not a surfing goddess like some of the girls in the group.

  Noel’s giggling makes me turn around and look for her. In my Taylor-induced haze, I totally forgot she was sitting next to me, but I guess she found her own fun by the looks of it.

  She and Robert joined other couples on the makeshift dance floor. They look cute together. He towers over her slender frame, but not in a weird way. They’re talking about something―Rob is probably cracking a joke because Noel is laughing hard. His hands land on her shoulders and slide all the way down to her hands, their fingers intertwining, and he spins her around, making her laugh harder.

  Smiling, I look away, burying the ugly feeling rising in my chest. I’m happy for her. Noelani is my best friend. She deserves a good guy in her life. Somebody that will treat her nicely. Make her feel special and cared about.

  Loved.

  But at the same time, I can’t help but feel jealous. I want that too. I want somebody who will twirl me on the dance floor and make me feel special. Somebody who’ll make me smile and laugh. Somebody who’ll look at me with that special spark in their eyes.

  “Hey, you wanna dance?” I give Ty a side glance.

  My nails dig into my palms, cheeks getting rosy in embarrassment.

  I’ve never asked a guy for anything. Not a coffee or ice cream, and sure as hell not something as big as a movie date or dancing. If he says no this time…

  Taylor looks at me, a small frown between his brows. “I’m not really…” he starts, and I can see rejection in his eyes even before he finishes. My heart squeezes painfully in my chest as I force a bright smile on my lips.