Underwater

by Doe, Anna B.

  I swallow audibly. “Anything…”

  Caleb’s smirk grows wider. He looks like a wolf that just cornered his prey and is ready to play before he decides it’s time for dinner.

  Dammit. I should have learned by now that this word only brings me trouble. That’s what started this whole mess to begin with.

  I lift my chin up. “But there is one rule of my own I’m not backing down on.”

  He laughs softly. “And what is that one?”

  “No kissing.”

  Marissa

  I peek behind the curtain of my kitchen window that looks out at the front porch for the tenth time in the last five minutes. My palms are sweaty, hell, my whole body is sweaty from the nervous energy running through it.

  “Is something wrong?”

  Busted, I turn around and force a smile on my lips. Tugging a nonexistent strand of hair behind my ear, I shake my head. “No, everything is fine, Mom.”

  “You sure?” She lifts her brows, chuckling. “You seem nervous.”

  “Nope. I’m fine.” I reassure her. The need to look behind the curtain again is strong, but since she already knows something is going on, I don’t want to give her more reason to be suspicious. “Just waiting for my ride.”

  Picking up my cup of coffee I take a sip, imitating her position. Why did she have to stay home on the only morning I need her to be working? Usually, she’s an early riser. She likes to get prepared for the opening of the café, but there are rare mornings like this when she indulges in sleeping in and asks one of her co-workers to open the shop for her.

  “Is Noel picking you up?”

  Keala Davenport looks young for her late forties. People always tell me we look almost like twins, and I guess, in a way, they’re right.

  Her brown hair is not as long as mine, but a more practical middle length so she can twist it in a bun while she’s working in the kitchen. Her light brown eyes are big, slightly slanted at the corners. We have the same small face, straight nose and pouty lips. Her skin is darker than mine, the result of her native Hawaiian heritage, while mine has a golden tone, the result of spending a lot of hours outdoors on the sun. Our body shape is also the same, almost delicate, with just enough curves to be noticed.

  Nibbling at my lower lip, I shake my head. “Not really.”

  This causes her brows to shoot even higher on her forehead. “Really?”

  She has a few wrinkles, mostly around her eyes and mouth from smiling.

  “Yep.” The p pops, filling the silence of our kitchen.

  Mom doesn’t ask questions, but I can feel them hanging in the air between us. I know she’s curious just as much as I know she won’t go snooping around for the answers. She’s always been like that. Gives me space to come to her if I think I need it.

  Do I need it?

  Caleb left me so confused this morning on the beach. When I told him my rule, I thought he’d object, but he didn’t say a word. He frowned, looking down at me like he was trying to figure me out somehow, but then he took a step back, nodding his head.

  “Okay, I’ll pick you up for school.”

  Those were his final words before he turned around and started running toward the ocean.

  Running away from me.

  I didn’t leave immediately. I should have. After all, I got what I was looking for, but somehow I couldn’t make my legs move. They stayed glued to the spot while my eyes kept watching him. Drinking him in.

  His feet touching the water.

  The arch of his body as he dived in.

  The way he shook his head once he got back to the surface and started paddling farther away.

  I watched him wait for a wave to come. I watched him catch it and conquer it.

  I watched him… and my heart hurt because the call of the ocean was strong. I wanted to join him, but I couldn’t. So I turned away and went back home.

  The sound of a car pulling up brings me out of the memory and back to my kitchen.

  Mom’s knowing eyes are looking at me with a tenderness that’s hard to ignore.

  “Your ride is here.”

  Grabbing the backpack I left on the chair, I leave the cup in the sink.

  “I’ll see you after school?”

  “Yes, I’ll stop by the Azure Pearl.” I hurry out. I’m not sure if Caleb will come to the door or not. But I don’t want to risk it. “Love yo―”

  As I open the door, my body slams into another one.

  Why does this keep happening?

  The impact is so hard I stumble on my feet, the heavy backpack on my shoulder not helping the whole situation, and I’m sure I’d have fallen on my butt if it weren’t for the strong hands gripping my forearms and holding me up. His fingers feel rugged on my skin, worn by the sun and ocean.

  My eyes dart upward until they finally set on his.

  I always forget how tall he is until the moment his body is close to mine. Looming over me. Caleb could probably crush me with one swing of his hand, but his size doesn’t terrify me. Not in the least.

  “Hi.” His lips twitch at the corners, so I know he’s amused by the whole situation.

  “Hi,” I repeat, looking at him.

  He shaved the scruff that was adorning his cheeks only a couple of hours ago, but it doesn’t take away from his masculinity. My fingers itch to touch his face and feel his smooth skin against my hand. I want to know how it feels. How he feels.

  I want it all.

  The realization hits me hard, but I don’t get a chance to think it through because his hands suddenly fall from my body.

  “Mrs. Davenport, good morning.”

  Caleb smiles at Mom, taking a step closer, his body brushing against mine and making me gulp loudly, as he shakes Mom’s hand.

  Always polite.

  “How are you, Caleb?” She squeezes his hand before her eyes meet mine. “Taking Marissa to school today?”

  I know that look well. It’s her and-you-thought-you-could-hide-something-from-me look. The need to stick out my tongue at her like a five-year-old is strong, but I fight it off.

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  “You kids drive safe.” She pats him on the shoulder before she returns to the kitchen.

  Caleb looks confused, like me, so I just shrug and walk outside.

  As soon as the door closes behind us, Caleb takes my backpack and ushers me toward his royal blue Jeep.

  “What are you doing?” I turn around, trying to grab my backpack, but he’s holding it out of reach.

  “I’m practicing for when people are actually around us.” He smirks. “You want them to believe we’re together?”

  “Well, yeah.”

  “Then play along.” He tugs playfully at my ponytail. “You said no kissing, so that leaves me with not many options to make people believe we’re actually together. And when I promise I’ll do something, I do it right. Go all in.”

  His words and intent stare make me shiver.

  How can he do that?

  Just a look… just a few words he has me under his spell.

  My cheeks heat under his hard gaze, so I avert my eyes and hurry to the car. I jump in, like literally jump in because the Jeep is so big it’s hard to step inside. But I don’t wait or ask for his help. I’m not sure my body can take any more of his touches before it becomes completely unnerved.

  He closes the door behind me. The roof is pulled down, so he throws my backpack on the backseat along with his before going to the driver’s seat.

  Rock and roll starts playing as soon as he turns on the car and pulls out of my driveway. Although the music fills the silence and the ride is not that long, I can feel the heaviness of it. I don’t know what to say or do, so I do the first thing that comes to mind, which is reach toward the radio to change the station, but Caleb’s hand grabs mine in the air.

  Without even casting a glance in my direction, he intertwines our fingers and holds them hostage.

  “No touching,” he scolds lightly.

  “A
re you kidding me?” I try to laugh, but it comes out nervous. “Aren’t I supposed to be your girlfriend?”

  “Not even my girlfriend can touch my stereo.” He gives me a quick, amused look before he concentrates on the road in front of him. “Especially not my girlfriend.”

  His words are like a little stab to my stomach. “Especially not your girlfriend?” I try to pull my hand out of his, but Caleb’s not budging. “How long have you had that rule?”

  I don’t know why I have to ask, but the words come out before I can stop them. They’re sarcastic and kind of angry.

  Caleb chuckles, obviously amused. “Long enough.”

  He brings our intertwined hands to his lips, kissing the back of mine.

  My stomach sinks and my lungs squeeze, leaving me out of breath.

  “W―what are you doing?” I stutter.

  Green eyes turn to look at me when he stops at a red light. There is something in them. Something I don’t know how to read. Something I don’t understand.

  Brown dots play on the green surface illuminated by the daylight. There is hardness and softness in them at the same time.

  “Just practicing. You want to get Ty jealous, right?” Caleb doesn’t wait for my answer. “We have to make this real. This is real.”

  He brings my hand to his thigh, pressing it against the hard muscle. My heart starts thumping so fast in my chest, I have a feeling it’ll break free by the sheer power of the movement.

  Somebody honks, breaking us out of our bubble, pissed that we’re blocking traffic.

  Giving me one last squeeze, Caleb moves his hand to the gearshift to switch gears.

  Nothing is said in these last few minutes it takes us to get to school. I think my brain stopped working the minute my heartrate sped up and started pumping more blood.

  All of it is just too much.

  The squeezing of my chest.

  The fast beat of my heart.

  The lingering feeling of his hand holding mine.

  The feel of his strong muscles and the heat of his skin noticeable even hidden beneath his clothes.

  It’s sensory overload my body wasn’t expecting, and now I’m feeling like I did the day of the storm.

  Like I’m drowning and there is no escaping the darkness.

  “What the hell just happened?” Noel slides her lunch tray onto the table, but as soon as the plastic touches the surface, it’s forgotten. Her attention is completely centered on me.

  “It’s not just; it happened this morning.”

  “Don’t even try playing coy, Risa!” Noel whisper-shouts, jumping nervously in her seat. “Now, tell me! Did you do it?”

  I roll my eyes, slowly taking a bite of my pasta just to spite her. Noel is giving me a murderous stare across the table as she waits for me to be finished. Finally swallowing, I take the napkin to wipe my mouth before smiling sweetly.

  Too sweet.

  “If by ‘it’ you mean ask a guy to be my pretend boyfriend so I can try and make another guy jealous…”

  “That’s exactly what I was referring to…”

  “Then yes. I did that.”

  Noel squeals so loudly heads start turning our way, but she doesn’t even notice. Or maybe she’s ignoring them. With her, it could be either.

  She grabs my hands, squeezing and shaking them excitedly. “This will work! You’ll see.”

  “I don’t know. It doesn’t seem right to play with people like that.”

  Noel shoves her finger in my face, wiggling it. “Oh, no, you don’t! All’s fair in love and war.”

  Seriously? She’s at it again?

  I give her a look that conveys exactly what I think about her cheesy remark. “This is not a soap opera, Noel.”

  “No?” One of her perfect blond brows arches on her forehead. “Why does it look like it’s about to become one?”

  “Wha―” I frown but don’t get to say much more because Caleb slides into the chair next to mine. As he sits down, he leans toward me. Lips brushing against my cheek make me jump in surprise, which only makes him laugh.

  “Hey, babe.” Caleb smiles sweetly, mischief written in his eyes. The dude is enjoying this too much. “How were your classes this morning?”

  I force a smile, although my teeth are gritted. “Good, babe. What about you?” This was so not what I had in mind.

  What did you have in mind? Did you think you’d smile sweetly at Caleb, and Ty would miraculously start noticing you and get jealous? Fat chance of that happening.

  “Why are you not sitting with the guys?”

  Caleb throws a fry into his mouth and shrugs nonchalantly. “I just wanted to hang with my girl.”

  The words fall easily from his lips. So easily you’d believe they were true.

  This is real.

  Caleb said it this morning. If we believe it’s real, we’ll be able to deceive everyone else. Is he right? Is believing in something enough of a reason for it to feel true? Or is it still just a pretty, wrapped-up lie?

  It doesn’t feel that way. When he looks at me, when he says it like that… my girl… it doesn’t feel like a lie.

  His words…

  His looks…

  They unlock something inside me. Something I didn’t even know existed until the moment he’s there, next to me.

  Something I don’t know how to name.

  Or how to even find without him. But it’s there, hidden inside, just waiting for him to appear.

  “I love the necklace.” His fingers brush against my collarbone. Gently, he picks up the mermaid tail necklace.

  When I got it, it was shining bright aqua green, but now the tips of the tail are black and it’s slowly climbing upward. The Nymph warned me it’ll happen. The necklace is tracking the time I have left until I’m stuck in a mermaid body forever.

  Soon the moon will be full and for the first time I’ll spend the whole night as a mermaid. Then I have two more months left. Two more months to get Ty to fall in love with me so I can stay human.

  “T-thank you.”

  The back of his hand is leaned against my chin, one of his fingers slowly tracing it as he observes the necklace.

  “Is it new?” He still looks at the damn necklace curiously. “I don’t remember you wearing it.”

  I frown as his words register in my mind. He doesn’t remember me wearing it? What’s with that?

  “It’s… something like that,” I agree because saying a gift from the ocean nymph doesn’t seem like a joke they would get.

  “Caleb?”

  “Ty!” I turn around, the chair squeaking loudly.

  He looks so handsome with his messy blond hair and dark gray T-shirt that makes his eyes look even lighter than they usually are.

  Taylor looks at me, but his gaze falls to my hands in my lap. Hands covered by one of Caleb’s.

  Caleb’s hand finds a way between mine, locking our fingers together.

  A statement.

  Loud and clear.

  Ty lifts his gaze to mine before it falls, once again, to our joined hands. I swallow hard, waiting for his reaction.

  My palms grow sweaty, and I know Caleb can feel it. As if he can read my uncertainty, Caleb gives me a little squeeze. His thumb slowly starts making circles on my skin.

  Smooth.

  Reassuring.

  “Hey, man. Wanna sit with us?”

  Unlike me, Caleb seems as calm as they come.

  Ty looks at Caleb, his blue eyes widening. It’s like he is, for the first time, connecting the dots. Seeing something he didn’t know. Something he wasn’t expecting.

  “Maybe that’s not…”

  “Noel is with us, too.”

  “Yeah, sit with us,” Noel chimes in cheerfully. I hate to admit it, but I totally forgot she was even here. The moment Caleb joined us, my mind stopped working. The outside world became just a dull buzz around us. “Don’t let me sit alone with these two lovebirds or I might just puke.”

  Ty smiles, joining Noel’s cheerfu
l giggles. I look at him for a second longer, trying to see… something.

  I know he saw it. The way Caleb holds my hand. The question is… does he care?

  Ty slides next to Noel, and soon some of their friends, including Rob, join us. Everybody is eating and chatting animatedly, trying to use every second of the lunch break to chill and have fun before classes resume for the afternoon.

  Just a while ago, Caleb pulled his chair closer to mine. He said it’s to make more room for another one of their friends, but let’s be honest… there was more than enough space for that friend to sit comfortably even without Caleb moving his chair right next to mine.

  Once he’s finished eating, Caleb leans back in his chair, his hand falling around my shoulders. His fingers expertly find bare skin around the strap of my tank top.

  This time, I expect his touch. I even crave it.

  Having him sit so close to me, inhaling his intoxicating scent―a mix of his cologne, ocean, spring and just plain Caleb―makes me want to curl around him just so I can inhale it.

  Which brings out the guilt.

  Ty is sitting across from us, watching us like somebody would watch an experiment unfolding, with curiosity and high expectations.

  He’s right there across from me, and I shouldn’t feel this way. I should want him.

  I do want him.

  I do.

  “Risa? Are you coming to the beach today?” Ty’s question brings me out of the haze of my confused, mixed-up emotions, but something else comes with it. Something much worse than all these unresolved feelings that are clouding my heart.

  There is nothing unresolved. You want Ty.

  Anxiety.

  “― maybe you could surf with us. You haven’t in a while.”

  “Hmm …” I nibble at my lower lip, looking for a way out.

  I don’t know how I’ll do this for two more months. It’s driving me crazy as it is. I’ve always loved the ocean; everybody knows that. And to suddenly pretend I don’t or come up with lies every time somebody suggests anything ocean-related is tiresome.

  “I promised my mom I’d help her in the café. Rain check?”

  I can see Ty is disappointed, but he nods in agreement. Smiling softly, I try to convey to him with my eyes what I can’t say out loud.