Barely Human

by Dhtreichler

  “Not how I remember it, but let’s say you’re right, you still switched things for everyone who transitioned. You made promises that we all assumed would be kept. We did our part. You haven’t lived up to your end of the bargain.”

  “Read the agreement. I know you can see it in your head. I want you to read it while I waste my time sitting here, babysitting you to do what you should have done before you transitioned. Now I’m trying to control my anger at having to get you back on the bus, but if you don’t read out loud paragraph 17 subsection c, I’m going to give you an assignment I guarantee you will hate.”

  “’AppleCore reserves the right to change work assignments and responsibilities from time-to-time when business needs change as determined solely by AppleCore management.’”

  “Tell me what that means to you.” I’m not going to take anything for granted.

  “It means if something major happens, someone dies, a competitor comes out with a revolutionary new product that obsoletes something we have in the market place, or there’s a war or something that you may ask me to consider a different assignment for a short period of time before returning me to my regular assignment.”

  “Please point out any of those words in the agreement you signed.”

  “Assignment,” Moshe begins but after a moment of silence also ends his response.

  “Right. Nothing you have assumed, other than you have an assignment, is in the agreement you signed. In later paragraphs, it says AppleCore will employ you for the next five years in assignments determined by AppleCore management and that you agree not to seek or accept employment elsewhere during that period.”

  “No one takes these agreements literally.” Moshe isn’t listening, probably because he knows he doesn’t have a strong case for what he wants.

  “AppleCore does and we will enforce our rights under the agreement in court if necessary. In section 39 subparagraph d., the agreement states, ‘In the event AppleCore and any other party to the agreement have a difference of opinion as to the interpretation of the clauses of the agreement, they shall be interpreted as plain language provisions without inference or precedence and arbitrated by a panel of three arbitrators, one each chosen by the parties to the agreement and one appointed by the American Arbitration Association.’”

  “Why are we going down this legal discussion route?” Moshe asks, even though I’m sure he knows.

  “To disabuse you of your assumptions.”

  “What does that mean?”

  “It means I’m not going to take your shit, even though you don’t produce any in your current condition.”

  “Very funny,” meaning not very.

  “I know I’m responsible for your inflated view of yourself. I pulled you out of the herd of new grads and gave you an opportunity. You stood up and delivered. One time. You haven’t experienced failure yet, but you will. All good managers learn from failure. The problem I have is I can’t let you fail at the moment, although I’d love to. Instead of giving me and Jermaine shit, you should just be happy to be here, because there are several thousand team members out there who would love to be in your current position.”

  “I’m better than that.”

  I look over my shoulder at Jermaine. “Would you have the tech come over? I’ll give her instructions on how to remove the voice box.”

  “You can’t do that.” Moshe almost sounds in a panic. “I’m not your property.”

  “Section 44. ‘AppleCore reserves the right to remove, change, modify, replace or upgrade any or all systems that constitute the individual who is party to this agreement solely at the discretion of AppleCore management.”

  Moshe sits silently as he tries to decide how to respond to my ultimatum.

  Alice, the high school age looking tech comes in with Jermaine. She looks around the room and is hesitant probably because she can see that I’m not happy. “What would you like me to do?”

  “I was going to have you remove Moshe’s voice box, but I think I’ve changed my mind. Just erase the software that drives it. No sense doing a hardware change when a software fix is quicker and easier.”

  Moshe gets up and tries to make a break for it, but Jermaine steps between him and the door. Jermaine is bigger and a lot stronger, although with his mechanical body, Moshe is probably much stronger than he used to be.

  “You’re not going anywhere, my friend.” Jermaine is quite clear. “You need to sit down and let Alice do her job.”

  “Erasing software is never a good idea.” Moshe pleads indirectly. “Besides, how am I supposed to do my work if I can’t talk to team members?”

  “You’ll figure it out.” Jermaine responds before I can.

  Moshe sits down, “This is like what the Nazi’s did to the Jewish people in Europe. I work for AppleCore which is supposed to be one of the most enlightened and liberal companies on the planet. You can’t just treat us like we’re your slaves.”

  “Alice.” I nod for her to do as asked. She has a small hand-held device that manages the software in each of the immortals and will manage it in those to come. Each of us have to be registered to the system and that happens when we are energized for the first time.

  “But erasing!” Moshe doesn’t even know how to plead. “That’s so permanent. It’s like gone.”

  Alice completes her inputs. Moshe tries to say something more but no words are forthcoming.

  Moshe reaches for the tablet on the table behind the conference table. He types in: ‘What am I supposed to do now?’

  “Think about how you add value to the team you are assigned to in the role you are assigned.” I respond to make sure he knows there is resolve on our side to keep him silenced until he comes around to contributing rather than obstructing and diverting time, energy and focus from the jobs the team is assigned.

  Moshe types in another question: ‘What’s the special project you want me to do for you?’

  “That will have to wait. Business needs have intervened because of unforeseen market shifts. You’re working the highest priority projects in the company right now. I need the strongest team on it and you’re part of that strongest team, if you chose to engage.”

  ‘What if I don’t?’ he types.

  “Then you have violated several provisions of your agreement and we have the right to transition you back to your old body, collect the cost of both operations from you and immediately terminate your employment if we chose.”

  I turn to Jermaine, “I can’t believe we’re making promises to keep one on the team and threats to get another to stop disrupting the team. We obviously have some work to do on our selection and on-boarding processes.”

  “You want him to stay?” Jermaine nods to Moshe.

  “Ball’s in his court.” I reply without looking at Moshe. I turn to Alice, “Thanks. I think that’s all we need your help on today. At least I hope it’s all we’re going to need.”

  Jermaine motions to Moshe to return to his desk. Alice follows him out. When the door closes Jermaine turns to look at me. “A bit extreme don’t you think?”

  “I never would have considered something like that for a mortal. But I’ve come to the conclusion I may have to take extreme measures to get the attention of some of our new immortals who suddenly think they’re better than everyone else”

  “They are.” Jermaine reminds me. I grimace, and he knows he has me.

  “I didn’t scar him for life or anything. Restoring his voice is a quick software update. Quick and easy. But I drew the conclusion Moshe isn’t going to get with the program unless I take extreme measures. And even now I’d say there’s probably a fifty-fifty chance I’ll have to send him back.”

  “Why did you ever bring him over when you knew what he was like?” Jermaine seems mystified. “You’d even told him why he wasn’t ready.”

  “I’m not ready to have this conversation right now. There are too many things in flux.”

  “Not fair. I’m supposed to be one of your most trusted lieu
tenants. Do you tell Oriana things you don’t tell me?”

  “And there are things I tell you I don’t tell her. Not that she doesn’t have a right to know what I talk to you about since she’s your supervisor. But I don’t tell her personal things you tell me or discuss with me. But if it’s a technical solution, of course I tell her.”

  “What about the things in flux? Jermaine wants to know. “Have you told her what that’s all about?”

  “I’ve not told her more than I’ve told you, but I have asked her some different questions.

  “For instance?”

  “What does it mean to be human?”

  “Are we human?”

  “We are human derivatives.” I suggest not sure if we are or not. “Your consciousness is human and the rest of you is conceived, designed and built by humans. But it goes back to what we were talking about before. If we don’t have feelings does that de-humanize us?”

  “I thought you were going to fix that.”

  “I am. But there are forces developing that may push us in a different direction. I don’t know if I will be in a position to influence that outcome.”

  “Sounds ominous.” Jermaine notes. “What can I do to help get the best outcome?”

  “That’s part of the problem. You and I may agree on the best outcome, but others may not agree with us. There are those among us who want us to evolve to be something quite different.”

  “Is this real or some theoretical argument you’re having with yourself?”

  “It’s not only real but some are already well down the path to implement it.”

  “Are we too late?” Jermaine shows a realization he did not have previously.

  “We may be, but that doesn’t mean I’m not going to try to influence the outcome.” I reaffirm.

  Jermaine comes over and puts his hands on my shoulders. “I’m sorry. I’m keeping you from dealing with the big issues. Guess that’s why A’zam put you where you are, to work the big issues.”

  “You’re not keeping me from anything. In fact, you’ve helped me identify additional issues I need to work so we’re better at selecting and on-boarding the next groups.”

  Jermaine listens carefully then asks, “I need to change the subject on you slightly.”

  “What?”

  “Do I get to be the first to try out the new orgasm software? If I don’t feel the love for my wife anymore I’m probably going to have to make it up to her in other ways, you know? She really likes me as I am at the moment. Best orgasms ever, she said. I’m the one who notices something’s lacking. So, I gotta work on making it better not just for me but for her. Maybe that way she’ll be willing to overlook me being a little less sensitive to her needs, you know? Anyway, for me to enhance her experience I’ll need a little more time. You willing to give me the time and first dibs?”

  LE DIFESE

  When Jackson Potter, the Mayor of Cupertino calls I’m in the middle of a production review in my office with Wallace and Alix. I turn and recognize the number but I’m not really in a position where I can stop to talk with him.

  “Can you cut to the chase?” I ask since I saw the issue a while back and I’m waiting for him to do so on his own. Maybe I’m in a hurry now because I want to call Jackson back, but I have to consciously slow myself down. Especially after I read the riot act to Jermaine’s team about working at mortal speed when working with a mortal. I have to walk the talk, although I’m getting annoyed that Wallace has pushed his transition date back one more time. He’s probably the one person on the team I need to get transitioned to avoid more meetings like this one.

  “Sure. The chase is we can’t fill the pipeline for the stores until at least a week later and more likely two to three weeks. The third-party retailers will be screaming because it will be at least a month before we get the first units out to them.”

  “Alix?” I ask.

  “He’s showing you the optimistic scenario.” Not what I want to hear. I’ve looked at the production data. The problem is we continue to believe we can build things only with parts from approved suppliers. We hit a bottleneck with those approved suppliers, and they can’t respond quickly enough for us to take advantage of a market opportunity.

  “So, we step back and let Symbol Ventures take this market from us.” They know I’m not happy.

  “The only alternative is to buy parts from suppliers that haven’t been approved. Every time we’ve done that it has resulted in quality problems and recalls. That just puts us further behind. We get units into the hands of customers, but then we have to have them bring them in and replace them with another unit with unapproved parts and we may even have them bring the units in a second time. That hits customer satisfaction and then we lose market share across product lines. A’zam told us…”

  “A’zam is not listening to this issue. Let’s back up for a minute. You have a production team in place to start building units tomorrow.”

  “Yes.” Wallace acknowledges.

  “And from what you’re saying they will be idle for from one to three weeks.”

  “But…”

  “Will they or won’t they be idle?”

  “They will be, but…”

  “Why are we letting them stand around when we could be using them for other activities?”

  Wallace looks at Alix. He’s probably figured out where I’m going. “They’re not qualified to certify suppliers.”

  I look to Alix. She knows what I want.

  “I can give them the training they need in a day. So yes, we can have them do the certifications.”

  “Good.” I proclaim. “Let’s get them trained today and out certifying tomorrow. Alix, can you have your folks set up the supplier visits this week? If we can keep the down time to one week we should have product in stores and retailers by the second week. That way we should be able to protect our market opportunity without suffering quality issues.”

  Wallace isn’t happy. He would rather we stick with our current suppliers and lean on marketing to hold the advertising to give him more time. The problem with that approach is the competition won’t hold their advertising and they will get all the attention on the product launch. When ours comes out it will be a me-too. Not good enough for AppleCore products.

  Alix and Wallace coordinate schedules and then rise to leave my office.

  “I want a status report at the end of the day along with an estimate of first ship dates.”

  “You’ll have it.” Wallace grudgingly responds. I’ve got to find a way to get him transitioned earlier than he’s scheduled now. I don’t think I can spend this much time helping him see the best route forward on so many issues.

  Once they leave Mindi pokes her head in, “Got a minute?”

  I think of Jackson’s call, but know she has to take precedence. “Sure, what do you need?”

  “Petra wants to come by and discuss a few things when you have a minute. You don’t have a minute on your calendar so what do you want to move?”

  “What’s next?” I ask even though I’m reviewing the calendar while I wait for Mindi to tell me.

  “Desiree on the college intern program for the fall semester.”

  “See if Desiree can come by either at the end of the day or before my first appointment in the morning.”

  “Got it.”

  “What else is on your mind?” I know from her posture she’s unhappy about something.

  “Landon.”

  That’s all she has to say. “What is Landon up to now?”

  “He asked to be put on the Immortals list.”

  I look at the list and see where he is on the priority. “And the issue is?”

  “He didn’t discuss it with me first. He just went ahead and did it. Said that if he’s going to be the man of the house he should make the decisions for the family. Now I don’t disagree with that premise, but I do think he should discuss it with me before he makes the decision rather than just tell me what he decided.”

  “You
told me Landon didn’t think he needed to transition because he won’t become more creative by becoming an immortal.”

  “That’s what he told me when we talked about the company sponsoring transitions. He didn’t sign up then, but I told him I want to after the baby.”

  “Are you pregnant?”

  “Not yet.”

  “Have your parents done the numbers to see if Landon’s even the one?”

  “Not yet.”

  “So, you don’t even know if you and Landon are going to get married.”

  “Not yet.”

  I think about Jackson’s call. I’d like to get back to him before he gets tied up on something else. But Mindi is going to make me go through the whole thing with her. “So what is it you want me to do?”

  “Move his priority down so he doesn’t transition at least until after we are married and I’m pregnant.”

  I nod, “What happens if you miscarry?”

  Mindi looks like a deer in headlights. “I know that won’t happen. I’m way too healthy.”

  “Sounds to me like you want me to delay Landon until after you deliver a healthy baby.”

  Mindi nods as she is still thinking about my observation.

  But I’ve already gone way past this issue, “Let me suggest something you could discuss with Landon. I understand you wanting him to wait. But what if he contributes to a sperm bank? Then he can transition, and you can be artificially inseminated after you’re married. They keep extra sperm in the bank and if the fertilization doesn’t take or the child isn’t healthy, you have a chance for a second child that hopefully will be.”

  Mindi sits down in the chair across from my desk. Not what I wanted her to do. “Why do you always see things so clearly?”

  I shake my head but say nothing.

  “Maybe we could have him put the sperm in a sperm bank, but still wait until I am pregnant for him to transition. I think I would like to become pregnant the traditional way.”