Resuscitate (Annihilate #1)

by S. Morayla

  “C’mon, mate, let’s go chill, watch the next act. Paul says it’s a new girl with killer vocals.” Harrison’s smirk throws me off guard. We all like to watch the other acts, but I’m sensing there is more to this. Shrugging it off, I nod and follow him through the crowd to our table.

  “I’ve been looking for you,” she breaths in my ear. I close my eyes, wishing it were another voice. Harrison looks back at me, trying not to scowl.

  “I’ll catch up with you,” I say to Harrison, expecting him to continue on his way. Instead, he comes back to where I’m standing. He looks down at Lexi before dragging his eyes back to me.

  “Don’t leave, Zayne—especially not with her.” He juts his chin in Lexi’s direction. Turning on his heel, he walks away. Perplexed by his words and actions, I stand there staring at the back of Harrison’s head. Har is not the type of guy to be mean. I look down at Lexi.

  “What was that all about?” Lexi asks, annoyance clear in her voice.

  “No clue. What are you doing here? I thought you had a date tonight?” When she came over the other night, she told me I was an idiot. That I could ravish her body any way I wanted. Then she went on and on about this guy she’s currently fucking and how he was taking her out on...well, tonight. There were two good reason in that one sentence as to why I wouldn’t stick my dick in her.

  Cracking a smile, she shakes her head. She bites her lip and looks up at me through her lashes.

  “I was thinking,” her fingers trail up my chest, “you and I could have some fun together.” She puts her arms around me, pulling me down so my ear is closer to her mouth, “Naked.” I pull back to look at her.

  “Not happening, Lex, besides—” I stop mid-sentence. My ears must be deceiving me. It can’t be, can it?

  Lexi’s arms around his neck.

  Swallowing, I look to Harrison for encouragement.

  Nodding, he mouths, “Do it.”

  “I’m a bit nervous, and I haven’t done this in so long, but…” I pause, unease clear in my voice, “I came here to tell someone special to me that I’m sorry.”

  My nerves have my hands slightly shaking.

  His honey-colored eyes lock on mine.

  I only have one shot and I pray this song conveys everything I feel.

  “This song is dedicated to him, and I hope against hope I’m not too late.”

  My body tenses as I look up at the stage, but I’m not comprehending why she’s up there holding a guitar, looking directly at me. My eyes see it, but my brain is slow to catch up.

  “What the hell, Zayne? Let’s go,” Lexi whines, but I unwrap her arms from around my neck and stare toward Shorty.

  My greedy eyes take in all of her. My heartbeat speeds. I haven’t seen her in over two weeks. Her beauty is stunning.

  Shorty’s eyes glisten under the stage lights. “I hope this song will convey exactly how I feel about you...about us.”

  “I can’t believe it. She chose here and now to tell the world she’s mine.” Chris’ utterance makes my whole world stop. I glance back at him; he’s smiling up at her.

  “Fuck, my baby girl is beautiful. I can’t wait to fuck her senseless tonight.” I want to punch the fucking smirk right off his arrogant face.

  What. The. Hell? I continue to stare as the hole in my chest burns. She strums the guitar a few times, humming and tuning, trying to find the right pitch. When she finally finds the cords she needs, she turns to nod at a tattooed guy.

  My guard goes back up. Strumming the strings, she builds up the melody. The drums start along with her after eight counts. Natalee begins to sing and the whole world fades away. I stare at her in awe. Her voice is strong, yet sweet. An angel couldn’t hold a candle to her. As her voice hits different ranges of the scale with smoothness and ease, goose bumps erupt on my skin. She hits notes most singers struggle with for years. As I listen to the words flowing from her beautiful mouth, my brain finally registers the song. Halo by Beyonce.

  Not for me, but for him.

  She is letting it all out: her pain, anguish, suffering. And it’s not for me, it’s for him.

  “See? I told you, Zayne. Let’s go. Fuck her, that bitch.” Lexi’s honeyed voice assaults my ears. Tears trail down Natalee’s face as she sings through her anguish.

  No longer able to torment myself with Natalee’s song for Chris, I allow Lexi to drag me out of the club.

  The Lonely

  Humiliation burns.

  My heart cracks. Disheartened. Why I ever thought that would work is beyond me.

  Confusion.

  Outrage.

  Chaos.

  I look out into the audience as he walks away with Lexi. Tears stream down my face, but I continue to sing, my face burning.

  I want to run.

  Hide.

  I look to my friends; their faces horror stricken.

  Time continues to tick away as my heart slowly stops beating. Shattered, my faith is gone.

  Finally, the song finishes. I can’t run, I have no energy. Sobs wrack my body as Harrison appears before me, hugging me close to him.

  He whispers he’s sorry.

  It’s not his fault; I knew better.

  I was too late.

  I felt it.

  I ignored my gut.

  My head painted a beautiful picture.

  Rainbows and sunshine.

  Instead, I got heartache and humiliation.

  When will I ever learn?

  When will I ever see?

  I only need me.

  Sniffles are all I hear; arms are all I feel.

  I am passed around like a ragdoll.

  Everyone saying they are sorry.

  They had no idea he would leave.

  I just want to go.

  Inside, I am screaming in agony.

  I can’t fix it; I want to fall apart.

  Uncle Victor, my dad, Nana, Papa, Nona, Pop…even the therapist said life would work out. I just had to have faith. I put myself out there and got slapped in the face in return.

  What have you gained, Nat? What have you accomplished? Look back and see. This is a hiccup, life is full of them.

  Covering my ears, I pull my hair

  Fuck you! I yell to the voice in my head. Leave me alone. If you would never have left me, I wouldn’t be here, I cry to the voice.

  Tears burn as they make tracks down my face.

  The night is a blur.

  Alcohol became my sweetest friend, drowning out the sorrow.

  Fuck him.

  Fuck her.

  Fuck them both.

  Just like two years ago.

  Three players and one had to lose.

  Spaces

  Music blasts in my eardrums. Out of the corner of my eye, I see movement. Next thing I know, Harrison is barreling toward me. I feel his hands, but before I can process what is happening, he pushes me again. The lads and I may have disagreements, but never have we put our hands on one another.

  “What the fuck, Harrison?” I yell, pulling the headphones from my ears.

  “I swear, Zayne, if you pushed her back into her hole, I will never forgive you. The least you could have done is hear her out.” His chest rises and falls rapidly. His eyes burn a hole into mine. I look around at all my friends. I take in each of their faces. Leslie and Adriana’s eyes are red and puffy, and neither will look at me. I don’t understand.

  “What are you talking about?” I narrow my eyes at him, rage boiling through my veins.

  “Are you fucking kidding me, Zayne?” he explodes and leans in close to me, but Leif grabs him, holding him back.

  “Let it go, Har. Just walk away,” Leif tells Harrison. I’m still in shock, trying my damnedest to understand why Harrison is so upset. Was it not me embarrassed by Natalee? Why are they defending her?

  “Don't you fucking think about ever going near her again. Are we clear? You fucking annihilated her tonight and so help me God, you stay away from her or I will fucking hurt you. You get me, mate?"
>
  A collective gasp is all that registers. No girl has ever gotten in between us. I blink rapidly, willing my mind to work. Shock has taken hold of my system. Leif pulls Harrison away, but he just shakes him off.

  “Can you give me a ride back, Adriana?” Harrison looks to her and my eyes follow. I have never seen Har this pissed. His eyes narrowed, chest rising and falling, the room is quiet.

  Adriana’s makeup is smeared. My eyes go to Leslie, who looks the same. Twice in one night, I have seen the impossible. Har putting his hands on me and Leslie being in our apartment with Chance nowhere in sight. She shakes her head at me as tears fall from her eyes.

  “Yeah, let’s go.” Quiet and sullen, her voice is but a faint whisper. My heart throbs from the hurt I had no idea I caused.

  “Adriana?”

  “No, Zayne. I’m sorry, but...” a sob bubbles up and she covers her mouth, trying to compose herself before speaking again, “please, just don’t talk to me right now.” My heart cracks; there is a coldness wafting in the air. In all the time I have known Adriana, she has never acted so frigid toward me. When they all walk out, I feel so lost. I try to comprehend what just happened, but everything happened so fast—too fast for me to process.

  I stand here stupefied, my head hung low. I’m lost in a haze of mystification, trying to find my way around what just transpired.

  “You okay, Zayne?” I look up to see Nick walking toward me with his hands in his pockets.

  I shrug. I honestly can’t process how I’m feeling.

  “Why did you leave, Zayne? We all know you’re crazy about Natalee. You stopped talking to her, gave no explanations. Started seeing Lexi, if that’s what you call it. You’ve been pining for Nat, we all see it. So, why? Why did you walk away and make her look like a fool? Do you really care that much for Lexi?”

  Scrubbing my hands down my face, I flop down on my bed. “Natalee?” I hear the confusion in my own words. Nicks looks at me like I’m a bloody idiot. “I made her look like a fool? I-I saw her kissing Chris. They had their arms around one another. I felt like a wanker. I gave her all this time and she just played me, left me for a rich arsehole. Just like Lexi did with Chance. Tonight, when she was singing to Chris…” I blow out a breath, “at first, I thought she was looking at me, but I turned around when Chris said she’s finally admitting it to him. I assumed since he was standing behind me, she was singing to him. So I left. I couldn’t stand to see or hear that. My Shorty singing to that vile douche.” I let out everything in a rushed huff. My hands shake, my mind spins, anger rises from deep within me. I look to Nick, who shakes his head.

  “No, mate, that was for you.” Stunned, I can barely manage to ask if he’s sure.

  “Yeah, Harrison set it up and we all knew she was going to do something, we just didn’t know she could sing and play. That’s why we wanted you to stick around.” I shake my head, trying to clear it.

  “No, Nick, that...that’s not right. I saw them,” I say, adamant. “I know what I saw. At the coffee shop, they kissed, and tonight, Chris...he said.” My mind goes back to two weeks ago, unfolding the events of that day. How everything happened. Am I wrong? No, I can’t be. I saw it.

  “Are you sure, Zayne? Because I heard a different chain of events.” His blue eyes bore into mine, causing me to have second thoughts.

  What are they saying? What is he saying?

  “What are you talking about? I was there, I saw it.” My face scrutinizes his.

  “Keri was working that day, she told me what happened. I didn’t think to say anything because I thought you would talk to Natalee. You never brought it up, so I didn’t either. If I had known this was the reason, I would have told ya, mate,” he says, his Irish accent thick.

  “What happened? What are you talking about?” I just need a clear, rational explanation.

  “Keri said you came in to surprise Natalee. Chris walked in with Natalee and then kissed her. Keri saw you walk out the back, but had you stayed for a few seconds more, you would have seen Natalee slap the piss out of Chris and tell him to never touch her again.”

  “What?” My head pounds, my hands clench in my lap. “He kissed her without permission, like she didn’t want it? But Lex said—”

  “Mate, are you seriously trying to tell me you listened to Lexi? Lexi? You hear yourself, right? What in God’s name would ever make you want to believe Lexi?” Nick’s words resonate. The more I think about it, the more sense he makes. She’s a liar, but why? She has no reason to mess with Shorty. Leslie, sure, but Shorty has nothing to do with that.

  “I’m not sure,” I whisper into my hands. “Fuck!”

  I stand abruptly, knocking into him. Determination sears through my veins. “I have to go to her. No wonder everyone’s pissed. Fuck.” I start for my closet, but Nick’s hand stops me short.

  “I don’t think that’s a good idea. Nobody will let you near her right now. Plus, Amaris took her to her uncle’s condo. That’s where all the girls are headed for the night.” He shakes his head, looking down at the floor. When he looks up, his eyes are tormented. “She was a mess, Zayne. Worse than how Harrisonlooked after he told us about Leslie and the baby.

  I swallow the lump in my throat. My eyes start to water. The look on Harrison’s face from that night has haunted me. To think my girl is hurting worse than that is agonizing. I need to get to her. To apologize, to explain. I’m a jackass.

  “I have to try.” Walking to my closet, I grab my jacket.

  “Where you going, Zayne?” Leif’s voice startles me. I slowly turn toward him.

  “I need to see her.” He shakes his head. I start seeing red. My fists clench at my sides.

  “No. I’m sorry, but no. Look, she needs a minute to cool down. She’s drunk as hell. Even if she could understand whatever it is you’ll say, she probably won’t get it. Plus, Adriana, Leslie, and Amaris will rip your nuts off if you show up there.” He leans against the door. I unclench my hands, my body wound tight.

  “I didn’t know, Leif, I swear. I thought—fuck, I thought she was singing for Chris.”

  “Well, shite, mate, this is a bloody mess. Can I just ask why the fuck you thought she would be singing to that arsehole, especially after she slapped the bullocks out of him?” I rake my fingers through my hair, pulling it up into a bun, temporarily forgetting I need to leave. Instead, I focus on how the hell everyone but me knew Shorty slapped the living shite out of Chris. Again, it’s my own fault. I have been in a black hole of pain. Not wanting to suck anyone else in, I withdrew from my friends.

  “I didn’t know about that,” I admit sheepishly. Arsehole of the year right here!

  “Damn, Zayne.” Leif shakes his head in disbelief. Not like he has to do much to make me feel like even more of an idiot. “All I can say is get some sleep. Tomorrow, I will help you.” Leif claps my shoulder. Nick laughs behind me.

  “Good luck. They’re all ready to string him up by his balls,” Nick states, matter of factly.

  Leif actually laughs, like me being strung up by my balls would be a good thing. I involuntarily put my hand on my nuts, protecting them.

  “I didn’t say it would be easy. I think you need to talk to Har first. From there, if we can get the girls, mainly Adriana, to listen, you have a shot.”

  I look to him, incredulous. “She’s your woman, just tell her.”

  “Pfft. You have met her, right? Mind of her own.” He cocks his eyebrow at me. “Plus, if that were Nat, would you just tell her?”

  “Good point. I guess I wait,” I say, dejected. My phone begins to ring, causing me to jump a bit. Who the hell could be calling right now?

  “Paul?” I answer.

  “Yeah, hey, is this a bad time? I need to talk to you.” Leif and Nick both look at me apprehensively.

  “No, it’s fine. What happened, mate?”

  “I meant to get with you earlier, but Brandon heard something Chris was saying to Lexi before she went into the club. Telling her shit like ‘I didn’t pay
you all this money to keep Zayne away from Natalee for nothing’, or some shit like that. I don’t know what the hell he’s up to, but after seeing you leave with Lexi, and Natalee crying, I just wanted to give you a heads up, man.” Trying to breathe through my anger, I contemplate what Paul said. I thank Paul before turning to the lads.

  “I’m going to fucking kill that motherfucker,” I spit, grabbing my keys off the dresser. Taking large, determined strides, I pass the guys, heading to the front door.

  “Who? Wait—where are you going?” Nick and Lief scramble around, trying to get ahead of me, but I’m too pumped. I need answers and I need them now.

  “Chris,” is all I tell them as I jump in my car and drive away.

  * * *

  “Open the door, Lexi, now!” I bang on the door, not giving a shite what time it is. I bang again, until the outside light turns on.

  “What the fuck, Zayne?” Before she can utter another word, I step up to her face.

  “What the fuck did you and Chris do? Why did he pay you?” A gasp shoves past her lips; her eyes dance in defiance.

  “I don’t know what you mean.” I take a deep breath, my anger barely controlled. I let it out slowly, trying to reign in the fury.

  “Tell me, Lexi,” I say through clenched teeth. “I’m tired of you fucking with me. Tell me why Chris paid you.” Her eyes grow large. There’s no fear in them, but I know she’s mad. Her lips twist into a smirk.

  “Fine, he and Chance paid me to keep you away from Natalee. I don’t know why Chris is so fascinated with her.” She rolls her eyes. “I mean, seriously, she’s nothing special, and you, too. I just don’t get why the fuck all of you want these second rate trolls,” she says, swinging her hair over her shoulders.

  “Why would Chance pay you? I thought you already gave it up to him for free,” I counter.

  She waves me off, disdain clear in her face. “Anyway, I told you, Chance is trying to repair his fake relationship with his bitch. I won’t be second rate to her anymore. He chose her, so I left. He still calls me, but whatever—his loss. Chance found out about some party you all went to where that bitch left with Harrison. Of course, this was not good news. He already hated troll face…er, Natalee, because she was causing issues between him and me. Seeing how Chris wants troll face, they made a plan to destroy her happiness with you.” She smirks at me, mirth dancing in her brown eyes.