Illusion

by Ashley Beale

  Brice asks which is hers and she points to the pink and black zebra print case. Oh wait, cases. She has two. She has nearly as much as me, and I moved here! How on earth does she need that much in the handful of days she is staying here?

  We make it back to the apartment and Brice brings up her luggage. "You staying the night?" she asks him. Really Emi? I want to scold her for being so straight forward with someone she doesn't know, but I hold back and instead sigh.

  Brice hears me and smiles my way before answering Emi. "Not tonight. I'll see you ladies tomorrow. Have a good night." He leaves the apartment after we both thank him and say goodbye.

  Emi turns and looks at me the second the door shuts. "Holy mother fucker." I pause and give her a strange look. What is with the outburst? She points her hand at the door. "Did you see that man? I was practically drooling at him. As if he is single! As if he is a nerd!" She slams her butt onto my couch and shakes her head, confused just by the idea of someone who works on computers for a living can be attractive. "Tell me he is better looking than Harvey."

  I shrug my shoulders and join her on the couch. "I guess. I haven't really paid attention to be honest. He is good looking yes, but I'm much more attracted to Harvey. I guess it's probably because I know him more intimately and his personality is much the same to mine." And to Kirt. I don't say that last part though. Emi would scold me for finding someone I compare so often to my dead fiancé.

  "Well, show me some pictures chicka. I want to see what this sexy man candy looks like."

  "I uh, don't have any." I bite down on my lip, preparing to be yelled at by my sister.

  "Wait, what? You have no pictures of him? Are you making him up, Zoey?"

  I laugh just at the idea of that. "Uh, no, defiantly not." I lean back into the couch cushion, smiling at the thought of Harvey and the things we do together. "Most definitely not."

  "Well I'm officially jealous." She points her finger at me and narrows her eyes. "And pissed. I expect a picture of him, and damn soon."

  "Okay, okay, I promise when he gets back. He may be back before you leave anyways."

  "You know, you could always have him send a nude." She wiggles her brows at me.

  I cover my face with my hands. "Ugh, no!"

  Her hands pull mine away from my face and she gives me quite an amused stare. "Okay, well, I'm tired and you look exhausted. Let's hit the hay and we can talk about this stuff later." As she stands, she looks back down at the couch then to my bedroom door before her gaze is fixed on mine once again. "I think I'll sleep on the couch. Unless you guys, uh, use that too."

  I stand up and laugh. "Yeah, I'll get you a blanket. We can hit up the laundry mat tomorrow for my sheets."

  She pushes at me as I walk into my bedroom. "Gross!" Then she bursts out laughing.

  Saturday morning I'm immediately bummed out. This is the first Saturday since I've moved here that Harvey hasn't showed me a part of the city. I love our little walks around the city. Last week we practically stayed in Manhattan the whole time, and he promised next weekend is Cony Island. I'm very, very anxious about that.

  I pull myself out of bed, even with the dreary feeling, and make my way into my kitchen. Emi is still asleep and softly snoring from the couch.

  Before coffee is brewed and the bacon is sizzled, she is up and groaning about her back hurting. For being such a country girl, she is a baby. Although we grew up in Atlanta, which is far from a country setting, we both spent most our summers at our uncle's ranch. We learned to cattle, milk cows, herd sheep, and to help feed the animals. We both fell right in love with all that. A lot of days we'd nap in hay piles, and we slept on the most uncomfortable bunks, but we loved it. I used to tell Kirt that if we didn't have a house in suburbs like I dreamed, we'd have a large farm and he'd be a farmer. He wasn't as happy about that idea.

  The past few years have taken a toll on Emi though, ever since she graduated college. She has become in love with the city life, while living her prime years right dead center downtown Atlanta. She is in walking distance to a lot of local hot clubs, and she is a regular at most. That is, when she is between boyfriends, which is often.

  It's like she is living the life for the both of us. Of course I've been out a few times, but that was while I was still with Kirt and didn't get the full experience. Sometimes he'd come with us, and I'd get insanely drunk and end up doing something crazy, but I still haven't done a third of what my sister has.

  I love it about her though. I'm so happy for her, to be living her life full speed, enjoying what I never got to. Not that I'd trade one single moment I had with Kirt. I'd much rather never have been to a night club or bar, if that meant even more time with him. But I don't think about it like that. I don't think about the what if’s, because if I've learned anything, it's that what if's will kill you faster than anything.

  I erase my mind of all those thoughts and fill up two plates for Emi and myself.

  "Thanks," she mumbles, still exhausted, when I hand her the plate. It's after ten, we both slept in pretty late, but we're both very tired. It's finally a sunny day out, so I open the windows up before sitting down to eat the bacon and english muffins. "So what are we doing today?"

  "Laundry mat for one, so you can sleep in my bed tonight." I pause and look at her. "Scratch that, you'll probably be sleeping elsewhere tonight. Anyways, we can still wash my sheets for tomorrow night."

  She punches my arm and laughs. "Shut up. Just because I'm very, very interested does not mean I'm going to boink him tonight."

  "Really?" I ask deadpan.

  Her face brightens. "Okay, okay, so probably. Well, what else? I want to get to know the city better."

  "You really want to walk around all day today then go dancing tonight? I don't think my feet can handle that, especially if I'm wearing heals tonight."

  Her face scrunches up. "Fine. Well, can we do lunch somewhere fun while we wait on your laundry?"

  "Nope." I shake my head. "Not leaving my laundry alone. How about, I'll wash my sheets while you stay here and shower and whatever. When I get back, we'll go eat something, then I'll show you Central Park. Harvey mentioned something about a Strawberry Festival or something. A few people at work were talking about it too. Should be fun. Then we'll come back here, get ready, meet up with everyone and on with what you've planned."

  "Perfect," she says. Her mouth full of bacon.

  When I return from the laundry mat with sheets that smell mountain fresh, I help Emi curl the back of her hair, then we head out to lunch. We find a Bistro that has an outdoor patio on the sidewalk. We can people watch, talk, have a few drinks, and whatever. It's a nice, relaxing environment.

  "Hi, my name is Sandy, what can I get you ladies this afternoon?" Our waitress asks.

  We both order a meal for four, then she leaves to get our order. "This place is so cute and cozy, I love it," Emi beams. "I could see myself living in this city. I'm already loving the vibes I get."

  "Yeah, I could absolutely see you living in a place like this, too." She definitely blends a lot better than I do.

  "Hm, maybe one day."

  We dig into our appetizer of loaded nachos and sip on some iced tea while she asks me a hundred questions about Harvey. In her questions I realize there is still a lot I don't know about him. Not sure where his apartment is located, I just know it's on the East Side. I'm not positive when his birthday is, just that he is twenty-nine.

  Regardless to what I don't know yet, I do know a lot about him and I'm addicted to it all. We've only known each other about a month, we have a long time to learn about one another. That thought makes me happy.

  After lunch, we get into Central Park to see what the Strawberry Festival is all about. It's the most misleading name... ever. They're having canoe contests, chest tournaments, a 5K race, and all sorts of other things going on throughout. It's pretty awesome actually, I just don't understand the name of it.

  We sit and watch the canoe race first, only because there are a
lot of delicious looking men rowing the canoes. Watching their arms flex with each stroke is mouthwatering. When they're too far away to see the yumminess, we walk around to see all the other interesting things. There are clowns walking on stilts, cheap carnival games, and people of all walks of life strolling through the park. It's a day I wish more than ever Harvey were here with me, enjoying this, but I'm also happy to have Emi here.

  When our feet both start to throb from the walking, we slide into a cab and make it back to my place. I shower, then do my hair and makeup while wearing a towel. When I walk into my room, Emi is already changed into the most seductive outfit I swear she owns. I'm pretty sure she'd fit in better at a Gentlemen's Club rather than at the night club, but I press my lips together to keep from saying that out loud.

  "What are you wearing?" she asks as I rummage through my closet.

  "I'm really not sure, I hadn't planned this ahead of time. I meant to ask you to bring up some of my clothes with you, but it slipped my mind to ask. I need more clothes."

  "Oh, well I did bring some. They're ones that I may have adopted while you were away."

  Of freaking course.

  I turn to see her pulling out a few different outfits of mine. "You didn't just bring some, your suitcases are nearly filled with my clothes!"

  She laughs while throwing me a short dress. "Whatever, not my fault you're a stickler for fashion. I need you to bring me shopping one day. I love your clothes but they're nothing I'd buy off the racks."

  I slip on the dress that I've only worn once. I have to try not to get emotional over it. It's just a dress, it's just a dress, it's just a dress. I repeat the words over and over in my head, but it still brings back the memory.

  "Hot damn girl." I turn to face Kirt, whose eyes are roaming my body in the best imaginable way. He could pin me to the wall with that look alone, and I'd probably get off.

  I look down at my jade colored dress that is cut off only inch under my butt cheeks. It's very form fitting, accentuating the curves that I normally dread, but am loving right now. The black heels give me the effect of having even longer legs than I already do, and the sweetheart neck line shows off just the top of my cleavage. Enough to tease the hell out of Kirt. I'm wearing the necklace he bought me for our third anniversary, which happens to be a gorgeous princess cut diamond.

  "You like?" I ask him as I do a twirl, trying not to trip in the process.

  He grins as his eyes continue to assault me. "I fucking love it."

  I walk over and wrap my arms around his shoulders and land a kiss to his lips. "Good. Is it enough to make you stay?"

  His smile fades quickly. "I'm sorry baby. I have no choice now, not unless we high jack it to Canada and hide out for the rest of our lives. I can't even pretend to be gay now, it wouldn't work."

  I pout my lips at him and he kisses them softly. "I'd run away forever, as long as your by my side."

  "Nine months babe, I'll be back in nine months. Then you can wear that pretty little number for me, and we can have hot, wild sex all night long. In fact, you may as well take the whole week off from work and society, because we're not leaving that damn room when I get home."

  My lips curl into a smile and I hug him close to me, inhaling his scent. I want to memorize this scent forever.

  His hands go under the backside of the dress and he massages my butt. "Okay, I have five minutes. Think we can make this quick?"

  "I thought you'd never ask."

  "I'm not sure I can wear this," I admit to Emi.

  She stops digging through her bags to look at me, giving me a sad yet confusing look. "Why not?"

  "It's what I wore the day I brought Kirt to the airport." The very last time I ever saw him in person.

  "Oh, Zoey." She walks over and wraps me in her arms. "I'm sorry sis, I didn't know."

  "I know," I whisper.

  She pulls back and gives my cheek a small peck. "Listen, it's a dress. If you truly can't wear it, take it off and we'll find you something else, but I think you should try. You've done an amazing job at healing since you've been up here, or so you seem that way. This could be like another step. It's just cotton and green dye threaded together, nothing more. The memories are here," she taps my temple, "not here." This time she runs her hand along my waist. "You look gorgeous, Zoey."

  I take a quick inhale of breath and let it out slowly. "Okay," I tell her. "I'll try."

  She smiles softly. "Good. Bring that mace though, because you're definitely going to attract some attention, both good and bad."

  "Great," I groan.

  Meghan, her friend Ryan, and Brice all show up within minutes of one another. Meghan looks similar to my sister in her outfit choice and I oddly feel like I should wear less. I don't and I won't, but they're practically wearing lingerie. At least Ryan is dressed more similar to me in a silver and black tube top dress. It still shows off more than me, but not by much. Brice is grinning ear to ear looking at us all.

  "I'm pretty sure I'm the luckiest guy in the world."

  We all laugh at him. I didn't think much on the fact he'd be the only guy, I was more concerned with the fact of being the third wheel, well, actually the fifth wheel in this case.

  Emi slides her arm around one of Brice's as we leave the apartment. The five of us are too much for a taxi, so we end up walking to the restaurant. Thankfully Emi mapped it out perfectly and the restaurant and night club are both within two blocks of my apartment, so although it sucks walking in these heals, at least it isn't a long distance.

  The club is already packed full when we arrive. There was a long line outside, but the bouncer had absolutely no problem letting us cut the line. He had given a pretty evil glare at Brice but didn't say anything about him coming in with us. There was a lot of groans from other patrons in line. It made me feel beautiful and powerful in that moment.

  We all slide into bench seats at an open, yet dirty table. Emi stands and claims she'll get us all the first round. Ryan walks over and grabs a rag off the side of the bar without the bartender noticing, then she walks over and wipes the table down for us.

  When Emi returns, it's with a small tray filled with shot glasses, enough for all of us to have two. No chaser or anything else to sip on afterward. I can feel my jaw tighten and tingle just at the thought of throwing back the shooters. "What is this?" I ask when she sets it down in front of me. It's an odd milky looking liquor, obviously a mixture of some sort.

  She smiles. "Not sure, but the bartender recommended them and I agreed. He gave half them for free, I bought the other half. These babies have some serious power." She uses her hands to showcase her breasts.

  "Hell yeah," Meghan chimes before throwing back one shot.

  "Hey, hey, we were supposed to cheer," Emi scolds her.

  "Oops." We all laugh at her, before taking our first shot. At the second shot, we cheers and throw them back. I can feel a burn go down my throat with each shot but they actually taste pretty delicious. I surprisingly can handle them well.

  Emi licks her lips while looking at Brice. "Ready to dance?"

  He shakes his head. "Not yet, I need a few more in me first. I'm not really a dancer."

  "Oh come on." She pulls on his arm as she stands again. "You just have to stand there, holding my hips, I'll do the rest."

  He looks incredibly amused by the idea. "Lead the way." He turns back and looks at me, giving me a small smile before he slides out.

  I look to Meghan and Ryan. "You girls going to dance?"

  Ryan answers for them both. "After about three more shots."

  "Agreed," I answer back. The three of us head over the bar and I find the male bartender and ask him for three shots for us each of whatever the hell he made my sister. I point to Emi so he knows who I am talking about. His eyes look down at my tits before winking at me, then he turns around. The only thing I see him grab is a bottle of Hot Damn. That would explain the heat I felt in my throat.

  The three of us girls take the shots back to back
, then Meghan buys us all a small blue drink. It's fruity and delicious but it doesn't mix well with the shots we took. We walk out to the dance floor and grind together in a small, tight circle. I can't find Emi or Brice anywhere.

  After what feels like hours later, but probably is less than two, we make our way back to a different open table. This one is a little wet on the top, but it isn't filthy like the last. Brice and Emi apparently spot us, since they both sit down just minutes later. "Phew, I'm exhausted," Emi states, leaning her head on Brice's shoulder.

  He laughs. "Uh yeah, me too."

  She smacks his leg and giggles. "You literally just stood there. I'm sure you're soooo tired."

  His eyes find mine and he smiles a little bigger. "You ladies having fun?"

  "Yeah, I think I'm pretty drunk now." Yup, I definitely passed being buzzed a while back. We only got one more drink while on the dance floor, but I was throwing them back so fast, and I hardly ever drink.

  He looks around at Ryan and Meghan, who are lost in conversation before his eyes meet mine again. The way he looks at me is strange. I'm not sure if he is worried about me being drunk, or feels sorry for me for not having Harvey or anyone here with me. Yeah, in this moment, I kind of am the fifth wheel.

  "Well, I could use another," he says.

  Emi groans when he leaves her side to head towards the bar. He doesn't ask any of us if we need anything, which surprises me some. I look at my sister and smile for her. "You two have fun out there?"

  She bites on her smiling lips. "Oh yeah." She winks at me and throws her head back in laughter. She has obviously been drinking. "He is so submissive to me, I freaking love it. I order him to buy me a new drink and he does, he stands there and holds my hips or waist, and I do all the work, and he gets so turned on by it." She sighs and lays her head on the back of the bench seat.

  "You're crazy," I tell her. I can see her nodding her head in agreement with me but she doesn't say any more.

  Ryan and Meghan say they're going back on the floor but I tell them my feet need the rest. Emi's head pops up and she looks at them. "I'm coming with y'all."