Fire Down Below

by Andrea Simonne

  As I open each birthday present I find myself getting emotional. It was so kind of everyone to come celebrate my birthday that giving me a gift seems extremely generous. When I notice that Suzy and Lauren have gotten me something, I chastise them immediately.

  “I’d forbidden you two to get me anything!” I say, wagging my finger at them. “You weren’t supposed to.”

  Suzy waves me off. “You’ll be glad we ignored you once you open that.”

  “We couldn’t not get you a present!” Lauren says. “And you’re going to love this, trust me.”

  I pull the wrapping paper off and discover an orange Hermés box. Inside I find a gorgeous silk scarf patterned with various hues of royal blue, one of my favorite colors.

  “Oh my God...it’s beautiful!” I’ve always wanted a Hermés scarf and they both know it.

  Suzy smiles. “See, aren’t you glad now that we ignored you?”

  “Thank you so much,” I say to both of them, “for everything.” Lauren and Suzy both nod, grinning at me.

  As I continue opening gifts I find that Ben has gotten me a present as well.

  “But you already got me those roller blades,” I say to him.

  “I know, but I wanted to get you something else too.”

  His gift is in a white envelope with a red bow attached and it turns out to be a gift card for Taylor’s clothing stores.

  “Oh, thank you. That’s great.” Though in truth Taylor’s clothes are way too conservative for me and I can’t even imagine myself shopping there.

  “I wasn’t sure if it was your taste, but my mom and Stacey shop there all the time. It was their idea for me to get you a gift card. Is it really okay?”

  “Of course.” I sense Suzy and Lauren’s eyes on me, since they both know Taylor’s isn’t really my taste. “It was very sweet of you,” I tell Ben sincerely. After all, he didn’t have to get me another gift. I imagine this is his mother’s subtle way of trying to get me to dress differently.

  Ben leans in close and runs his hand up my leg under the table. “I have something else I want to give you tonight,” he whispers in my ear. “I’ll let it be a surprise though.”

  There are a few more gifts in front of me and I carefully open them one at a time. There’s a set of crystal book ends and a gorgeous avant-garde vase that’s from Anthony and Thomas.

  When I finally get to the last gift, a flat oblong box wrapped in gold paper, there’s a card saying it’s from Declan. Turning it over I smile up at him wondering what it could be.

  I tear the paper off and find a black velvet box with the letters JM swirled on top in silver cursive. As soon I see the familiar Jane Moon logo my breath catches and I glance up at Declan in surprise. A flood of emotion comes over me as I realize what’s in the box. I’m too stunned to even move.

  When I look at him again he’s still watching me with that knowing grin. He mouths the words, “Open it.”

  I take a deep breath and slowly lift the lid. There it is—my necklace. A gold chain with rubies that gleam like drops of red sunlight—it’s as beautiful as I remember. At the sight of my necklace, I feel tears come into my eyes. I can’t believe I’m getting so worked up. I know instinctively this is more than a piece of jewelry. Declan is telling me something. He’s telling me that he understands me, that he knows my heart’s desire.

  “Thank you,” I say softly.

  “You’re welcome.”

  “What is it? Let’s see.” A few people around the table are asking. I hold the necklace up for everyone and then take it out of its case and put it around my neck. There are murmurs of approval from everyone.”

  I turn to show Ben and that’s when I notice he isn’t smiling at all. He’s not even looking at me, but is staring at Declan. When the two of them lock eyes on each other it’s in a way that can only be described as primitive. No one else seems to notice the tension between them, but I suddenly feel like the prize female caught between two silverback gorillas. For a split second I even wonder who would win if they battled it out. Ben is bigger than Declan, but something tells me Declan could easily wipe the floor with Ben. I have no desire to watch anything like that.

  “All right,” I say loudly to everyone at the table. “Enough with the gifts already, let’s drink champagne and eat cake!”

  There’s approving laughter all around and when I glance over at Ben he’s no longer in a staring contest with Declan—thank heavens—but is studying me instead. I have no idea what he’s thinking, but I smile at him and act like everything is normal, though he doesn’t smile back.

  After the champagne is poured and the various cakes are brought out, everyone sings happy birthday to me. Looking around, I feel grateful for my life and I realize that despite any misgivings I’ve been having lately about turning thirty-five, I’m pretty happy. I’ve made good choices for the most part and I hold on to that wish as I blow out the candles on my cake.

  ***

  While everyone’s eating, Suzy and Lauren are both making subtle, but frantic motions for me to meet them in the bathroom. As soon as I walk through the door they’re all over me.

  “I can’t believe Declan gave you that necklace!” Lauren shrieks. “It’s gorgeous!”

  “I know,” I say, looking at myself in the mirror, admiring the way it catches the light. “I had no idea he was getting it. I actually tried to buy it myself this morning.”

  “What the heck is going on between you and him?” Suzy asks. “And don’t tell me nothing. I saw the way you two were making eyes at each other all through dinner. ”

  “We’re friends.”

  “Yeah, right. That looked like more than friendship to me. And since when do friends buy each other thousand dollar necklaces?”

  “You know what I think,” Lauren says. “I think you guys are in love.”

  “What? That’s crazy. I know this necklace was an extravagant gift, but come on.”

  “Lauren’s right,” Suzy says. “I always thought maybe you two were nursing a crush or something, but after seeing you together I think it’s more serious than that.”

  I roll my eyes. “Declan and I are not in love. I’m in love with Ben.”

  “Speaking of Ben, he didn’t look too happy,” Suzy points out. “The way he was staring at Declan—I thought they might even get into it. He obviously considers him a threat.”

  “Maybe Ben will call him out. Pistols at dawn!” Lauren jokes.

  “Oh, stop it you guys. Was it really that obvious? I didn’t think anyone even noticed the tension between them.” I open my purse and pull out my makeup bag. “And what about you and Paul,” I say to Lauren. “You two are sure hitting it off. I don’t think he left your side once during dinner. He could barely take his eyes off of you.”

  She smiles with a catlike grin. “Can you believe him? What a hunk. And he’s a total gentleman too. We’re going out tomorrow. I told him I’d be his tour guide and show him some of the local sights.”

  “Hmm, is that right?” Suzy looks at herself in the mirror, fluffing her hair. “Maybe you should show him the inside of the Four Seasons Hotel. Can I borrow that lip gloss, Kate?”

  Lauren sighs. “Yes, I think my fourth date rule might have to be amended in this situation.”

  “Wow, really? I’ve never even heard you consider that before.” I hand my tube of gloss over to Suzy.

  “I know, but he’s flying back to Ireland in three days. It’s an emergency amendment!”

  I laugh. “Yeah, and you’re never going to find someone who looks so much like John Cusack. Hell, he’s even better looking than Cusack.”

  “I know,” Lauren giggles. “Isn’t he hot? And that accent! I get a rush every time he opens his mouth.”

  “Yeah, I suppose.”

  The truth is, while I never used to pay much attention to the way Declan speaks, I’ve been noticing it a lot more. There have even been times, and I’m not proud to admit this, where I’ve been intimate with Ben and I found myself thinking o
f Declan, imagining the way he’d talk to me in that low lyrical timbre, wondering what he’d say and what he’d do. I know some people fantasize about other lovers when they’re having sex, but I’ve never been like that. I like to be in the moment, not wishing I was with someone else.

  I’ve been doing something else lately too, something I’m not quite sure how to explain. I keep getting out the sketches I made of Declan and staring at them. I tell myself it’s because I’m gearing up to finally paint his portrait, that I need to study them, to understand his face, but in truth I haven’t taken any steps in that direction at all. I even put my easel back in the closet. Looking at those sketches takes me back to that evening, that kiss, and the way he felt. I keep wondering what would have happened if I hadn’t answered the phone when Ben called that night.

  ***

  As the party winds up and people leave, I hug and thank everyone for coming. Anthony and I make plans to meet for lunch next week. Declan hasn’t left yet, and when I glance over at him, I notice that he’s talking to Nina. Apparently she didn’t need an introduction from me after all. I haven’t spoken to him since I opened his gift, mostly because I’m getting a strange vibe from Ben, and I don’t want to make more waves. When Ben asks me if I’m ready to go, I tell him I’m going to say a quick good-bye to a few more people. Luckily, he’s talking with Luke about something and doesn’t notice where I’m headed.

  Declan and Nina are still standing over by the bar chatting. They look disturbingly cozy. I wonder what they’re talking about, but I don’t get to find out because they immediately change the subject when I walk up.

  “It looks great on you.” Declan grins at me, nodding his head towards my necklace. “I knew it would.”

  “I can’t believe you bought it. It’s so expensive. I feel guilty.”

  “Hey, I don’t want to hear that kind of talk. Besides, how could I not get it for you? After visiting that necklace so many times this past year, I figured one of us needed to buy the bloody thing!”

  I laugh, but I don’t take my eyes off of his and there’s a moment between us where I know we’re both remembering all those sunny afternoons together.

  “Well, thank you,” I say and step in close to hug him. He wraps his arms around me and without even thinking I press my whole body into his. I’m not sure what possesses me to do it, but he’s definitely on board and pulls me in tight. His body fits just right into mine, something I’ve never noticed before. I put my face in his neck. Declan smells delicious, like some kind of expensive cologne mixed with his own crisp scent. When I try to pull away, he stops me, keeping one hand firmly on my lower back. He lifts the other and touches my necklace, fondling the delicate gold chain, his knuckles grazing my skin. When I look up at him, his gaze is hot.

  My breath catches.

  “Kate, are we leaving?” I hear Ben’s voice over my shoulder.

  “Uh, yeah,” I say, breaking apart from Declan. He lets me go with such ease that I almost wonder if I imagined all the heat between us. Nina is smiling at me and appears not to have noticed anything unusual at all. I say a quick good-bye to both of them and then head over to Ben who’s watching me with a frown on his face.

  Chapter Eighteen

  “It’s a totally inappropriate gift,” Ben says as we’re driving in his jeep, having just left the party. I can tell he’s trying to be calm, but his voice sounds tight. “You know it is.”

  I don’t respond, since in truth I’m not quite sure what to say. In a way I see his point. It is an overly generous gift if you don’t know the full story behind it, but I can’t figure out how to explain it to Ben so it sounds okay.

  “You should give it back to him.”

  “No!” I clutch my necklace protectively. “I mean, no—I can’t do that. It would be an insult.”

  Ben is silent as he considers this. When we get to a stoplight he turns to me. “What’s going on between you and him?”

  “Nothing.”

  “He’s the friend you were painting that night when I first called you, isn’t he?”

  “Yes, but I never made the actual painting.” Not that I haven’t thought of it because obviously I have.

  “Are you sleeping with him?”

  “Of course not!”

  Ben studies me. The light turns green, but the car doesn’t move.

  “I can’t believe you’d even ask me such a thing,” I say indignantly.

  He starts to drive again. “I had to ask—okay? This guy just gave you an expensive piece of jewelry. There is no way his interest in you is strictly platonic.”

  “You don’t know him. Declan’s very generous and he knows how much I wanted this.” I finger my necklace.

  Ben is quiet for a few minutes. I wonder what he’s thinking, but I don’t want to interrupt his thoughts. Finally he sighs. “All right. Let’s just forget it. I believe you.”

  Really? Even I’m not sure I would believe all this, but I’m certainly happy to stop arguing.

  He turns to me and smiles. “I have a surprise for you. I’ve been thinking about it and I realized tonight would be the perfect time.” He glances at my necklace. “I’m not going to let anything ruin it.”

  “Hmm, sounds mysterious.”

  “I need to stop at my parent’s house first, is that okay?”

  “Sure, that’s fine.”

  We head up north to Edmonds and I wonder what this is all about. I’m glad he’s decided to drop the whole necklace thing. Instead we talk about my party and some of the various people that were there. He tells me he might have to go down to California again in a couple of weeks, but it should only be for a few days. When we pull up to his parent’s big colonial style house it’s already almost midnight and I’m thinking maybe I shouldn’t come inside with him.

  “No, come on,” he says, waving me over. “There’s no point in you sitting out here in the cold.”

  There are only a few lights on in the house, so I’m hoping everybody’s asleep. Once we get inside though we find Ben’s mother in the kitchen making a cup of tea. She looks surprised to see us. She’s wearing a bathrobe, no make-up, and has her hair pulled back in a scrunchy. Despite all this she has such great bones that she doesn’t look bad. It’s easy to see that Ben takes after her. I feel guilty catching her off guard like this, but she’s as haughty as ever.

  “Ben, you should have called first,” she says to him, though she’s staring at me, making it obvious she thinks I’m the one who should have known better.

  “Sorry,” he says. “Listen, can I talk to you?” He pulls her aside and the two of them go into the other room. I pull up a chair at the kitchen’s large center island and wait. I keep trying to imagine what we’re doing here, but I really don’t know. I figure it has something to do with Ben’s parent’s second house, our former “Love Shack.” We haven’t been out there since we started dating again and maybe Ben’s surprise will be taking me there.

  Eventually they both come back into the kitchen. Ben is grinning and his mother is wearing a stunned expression. This time she comes over to wish me a happy birthday.

  “And I understand we’ll be having you over for Christmas dinner,” she says. “I’ve been telling Ben that we don’t see enough of you two. You need to come over more often. We should get to know each other better.”

  All I can do is stare at her in confusion. This is by far the nicest she’s ever been to me. Usually she’s making comments with a hidden insult. Going on about how I’ve probably had a lot of boyfriends over the years (translation: I’m a slut) or how I’m so lucky to be able to wear such trendy clothes (translation: I look cheap.) This is a complete about face and I wonder what the heck Ben said to her.

  When we leave the house Ben is in good spirits. He even comes over to my side and holds the car door open for me, something he hasn’t done in a long time. When we’re both inside he leans over and kisses me impulsively.

  “That was nice,” I murmur.

  He grins, but doesn�
��t say anything as he starts the car. I don’t ask where we’re headed, figuring we’ll probably stop at my place so I can pack some clothes. It’ll be fun going to visit the Love Shack again. I could use a mini vacation. I’ll call in sick to work on Monday, so there won’t be any big rush for us to get back. Ben’s probably already taken the day off too. To my surprise though we bypass my freeway exit altogether and before I know it we’re driving up Queen Anne Hill in Seattle.

  “Where are we going?” I ask.

  “You’ll see.”

  Eventually he parallel parks the car right across from Kerry Park, a public park that has some of the best views of the city. I have to say my head is really spinning. It’s a very cold November night, though thankfully it isn’t raining. I’m wearing a heavy wool coat, but I’m still chilly as Ben leads me into the park. There are some street lights on, but it’s fairly dark outside and we appear to be the only people around.

  He takes me to a spot that has a perfect view of downtown Seattle and the Space Needle. I haven’t been up here in ages and the view is beautiful, but unfortunately I’m too cold to really enjoy it. While I’m standing there shivering he slides his hand in my pocket and entwines his fingers in mine.

  “You know I love you, Kate. I’ve loved you for a long time.”

  I smile at him, trying to stop my teeth from chattering. “I love you too.”

  “I’ll bet you’re wondering why I brought you here, or maybe you’ve already guessed?”

  I shake my head. “I have no idea. Is it something for my birthday?” My breath is coming out in white puffs of smoke from the frigid air and I stamp my feet on the ground trying to keep warm.

  “No, it’s not for your birthday.” He studies me for a minute and then laughs. “This is crazy isn’t it? I can’t believe how cold it is out here. I’m freezing my ass off and you look like you’re turning into a Popsicle.”