Maybe This Life

by Grider, J. P.

  “Trying to make it in the music business?”

  Lena simply nodded.

  “No. Not for me. I like my quiet life. I like the crowd I perform for. I like riding my horses and my motorcycle. I like my life. It’s…almost perfect.”

  “Almost?”

  “I’m only missing one thing.” Lena could hear forlorn in his voice. After waiting for Rick to proceed with his statement, she realized he wasn’t intending to fill her in on what was missing in his life.

  So she decided it was her turn to change the subject. She caught something in what he’d said before and wondered about it. “Rick, before, you mentioned that you go see your brother on the weekends, but I thought you had said once that you were an only child?”

  His eyes grew wide, as if he were caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

  “Oh. Um. You caught that huh?” Rick asked. “I meant my grandmother’s brother. My great-uncle. He’s ninety-nine this year. I visit him every now and then, since she’s not around anymore…So, um, let me go see what’s taking Gina so long with our food.”

  And he was up and gone from the table in an instant. Lena wondered what that was about. What about his uncle left Rick so tight-lipped? Well, it's not that big of a deal. Lena was having a nice time with Rick. She wasn’t going to let a little secret, especially one so inconsequential, ruin her night.

  Now if she could only get rid of her stomachache. Those butterflies were wreaking havoc tonight.

  Lena and Rick were just about done with dinner when Lindsey, Betty and Gary showed up. “Hey, you two.” Lindsey beamed.

  “Hey,” Lena and Rick said in unison.

  “Hey, guys,” Rick greeted Betty and Gary, who lagged behind Lindsey a bit.

  “Hey, Rick, I see you got a drum set up there tonight. You playing?” Lindsey asked.

  “Nope.” Rick was wearing a huge grin.

  “Who is?’

  “A friend of mine,” was all he’d say. “Listen guys, you mind keeping Lena company? I see my friend is here and I’d like to talk to him.” Rick winked at Lena.

  Up on the make-shift stage, Rick sat on a stool, his guitar strapped around him, his hand on the microphone. “Hey y’all.”

  The Tavern patrons hooted and hollered.

  “Who out there remembers the band, Holland?”

  More hootin’. More hollerin’.

  “Well, then I guess y’all remember a little drummer named Matty Em?”

  Now the crowd went wild. They stood. They clapped. They relished in the company of famed drummer, Matty Em, from the 90s band, Holland.

  Matty ran out on stage, waving and thanking the audience for the generous welcome. He took his seat behind the drums and began tapping the rims with his sticks.

  Rick, still seated upon his stool, stomped his foot along with Matty’s beat. Clapping his hands above his head, directing the crowd to do the same, Rick began singing. "Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah," and invited everyone to do the same. After a couple of lines of ‘yeah, yeah…,’ Rick sang the first two verses of the song with only the beat of Matty’s drum, the crowd clapping to the beat, and Rick’s heel meeting the floor at the same intervals.

  Lena recognized the song. It was a popular song she heard on the radio all the time.

  He was good, she thought. Rick’s voice was nice. Smooth. Rick exuded confidence up there. Lena got pretty turned on watching him entertain the crowd. Every now and then he’d turn his head in her direction and wink. Those warm feelings she had earlier were returning.

  When they finished the song, Rick walked over to Matty to say something, then she heard the drum. Rick started on his guitar. Lena didn't recognize the song, but the crowd seemed to know it. She liked the upbeat tune, yet the words conveyed a relationship that could never be. Something about the girl being part of a past that the boy could no longer return to. It was really good. She’d wondered why she hadn’t heard it before. Lena made a mental note to ask Rick about it later.

  After about an hour, Rick and Matty informed everyone they were taking a break. Rick pulled up a seat next to Lena. She handed him a cold beer that Gina had placed on the table about two minutes before the break. Gina seemed to know his routine pretty well…and she didn’t appear to like Lena very much.

  “So, did you enjoy it?” Rick asked Lena after he took a sip of his beer.

  “I did. Very much so.” Lena beamed at the handsomely sweaty man in front of her. “You’re an awesome musician.”

  “Thanks.” He wiped his brow with his sleeve and took another swig of beer.

  “When did you learn to play?”

  “I’m not really sure. It was just something I’ve always been able to do.”

  Impressed, Lena asked, “Really? Do you play any other instruments besides guitar?”

  Lindsey laughed. “Are you kidding me, Lena? This man’s a one-man band. He can play anything.”

  Lena turned to Rick, who was now red with embarrassment. “Lena, honey, I’ll be right back. I just have to see a man about a horse.” Then he kissed her on the forehead and left.

  That was an odd expression, Lena thought. She could remember her great-grandfather using that phrase frequently, when he was still alive.

  “So isn’t he awesome, Lena? God, you are so lucky,” Lindsey whispered, when Rick was out of earshot.

  “Lucky? Why?”

  “Why? Because Rick adores you. Even Gary said so. He told me Rick was so happy you weren’t with Vince anymore.”

  “Oh.” Lena blushed but didn’t really know what to say.

  “And, oh, it is killing Gina that you are with him tonight. She’s had her eye on him for years. He went out with her once or twice, but she said he had been stuck on some girl from his past, but she still keeps trying.”

  “Is he still stuck on that girl?”

  “Gina?”

  “No. The one from his past.” Lena felt a flicker of jealousy, and she didn’t like it. Not usually the jealous type, here she sat, upset that Rick had a past. He’s thirty-seven years old. Of course he had a past.

  “Oh, I don’t really know. I told you he doesn’t like to date and when he does, it’s usually the girl who initiates it. But, here you are. And Gary told me Rick asked you, not the other way around, so, hey, maybe you’re just what he needed to get over his past.”

  Lena pondered that for a while. She hoped there was some kind of future for her and Rick. He’d certainly reawakened her soul. And her heart was finally, genuinely smiling.

  Chapter Seventeen

  The Tavern had emptied out by 2am. Rick performed longer than usual since he had Matty joining him. He worried that Lena was bored or tired. He knew she’d never say so, being so polite and all, but he worried just the same. What kind of man brings a girl out on a first date…and hardly spends any time with her? He needed to make a better impression.

  He paid Jack his tab and said good-night to the owner. “You ready, Lena?” He sighed, sorry the night had to end. He helped to pull out her chair as she got up, then took her hand. With her hand in his, they slowly walked to the car. There was a nip in the air tonight, so Rick took his hand from Lena’s and wrapped his arm around her. “I owe you another date, I think.”

  “What? What d’you mean?” Lena's contorted expression signaled bewilderment.

  “I mean,” Rick turned her by the arm to look at him when they reached his Jeep. “I owe you a real date. One where I’m actually an active participant in said date.” Rick grinned, emphasizing his playfulness.

  “Oh.” Lena laughed. “Rick, I had a wonderful time. You were awesome up there tonight.”

  “Yeah, up there.” He pointed toward the bar. “But on a date, I shouldn’t have been…up there. I should have been right here,” he said, pointing at the spot in front of her. Then he held her with his finger and thumb by the chin and kissed her tenderly on the lips. “Can I take you out tomorrow night?”

  “Really? You don’t have to.”

  “Well, unless you’d r
ather read those books you’ve been waiting on?”

  Another gentle chuckle came from Lena. “No. I’d much rather see you than read.” Her face turned a lovely shade of pink and Rick thought, at long last, I’ve found what I’ve been searching for.

  Later that night, sitting in his recliner, he had no desire to light a cigarette. No desire to reach the girl from his past. He was quite content…right here in the present.

  ***********

  Lena put her head on her pillow that night and smiled to herself as she closed her eyes and thought about this evening. Being with Rick felt wonderful. His hand felt just right when he held hers. His kiss was …perfect on her lips. When he hugged her goodbye at her door, she knew that in his arms she was meant to be…like being lost…and finding her way back home. Words really couldn’t describe the comfort and safety she felt when Rick held her, but the feelings were there. Whether she could describe them or not, Rick was where she needed to be…who she'd been destined to be with.

  That was the last thought that blanketed her mind before she fell asleep…the last thought before her nightly dreams took over. Only this time, they didn’t start off horribly.

  He had his guitar across his lap, tapping on it like it was a drum. She peered out her door.

  “What are you doing here? I saw you from the window.” She held herself in nervous composure. If Mother wakes...and…and …finds me…out here with you…well, she will just have my hide…and yours.”

  “Angie.” He smiled up at her, melting her heart. “You are...so…lovely.” He stood to greet her.

  “Oh, Richard, stop. I mean it. If Mother sees you, I will be in so much trouble.”

  “Do you have a book on you?"

  “Yes. You know I always do.” Angie reached inside her apron pocket and pulled out her favorite book, Elizabeth Bennet or, Pride and Prejudice. “But what does that have to do with your being here?”

  “Well.” Richard’s demonic grin implied something was up his sleeve. “If your sorry excuse for a mother wakes up from her drunken coma, I will run back to the store and you can say you were out here reading.”

  “Richar…”

  “Shh.” He put his fingers to Angie’s mouth. “Sit. I want to play you something.”

  They sat down on her front stoop.

  “I have been working on this," he said, as he played his guitar. "I do not have the words yet, but I have been working on the melody. If you are ever allowed to come to my house, I can play it on our piano for you, but until then, my guitar will have to do.”

  Angie sighed.

  “Just listen.”

  His fingers on the guitar moved as if they were part of the instrument – the sound coming from it, soft and pleasant. He hummed while he played. Angie closed her eyes and rocked side to side to the slow melody of his guitar playing.

  Lena roused, the mellow musical tune still in her head, the feeling of love, still in her heart. She thought of Richard…and his fingers on the guitar…the passion she felt for the teenage boy who sat beside her. The teenage boy? Richard?

  Lena opened her eyes. My goodness. It was only a dream. A darn dream. A blessed dream. At least this dream had been a happy one. It reminded her of her date last night with Rick. And they had another date waiting on the horizon. She couldn’t wait for tonight, to see Rick again. Lena hadn’t felt this exuberant in a long time. She no longer had the feeling of a heavy heart weighing her down. No longer did she have to be afraid of Vince, he was out of her life.

  It was only eight in the morning, and Lena had nothing to do until later this evening. But she was too wound up to get back to sleep. Instead, she got herself a cup of coffee and brought it to her room. Reading a book while propped up in bed under the warm covers was one of her favorite things to do. She had been wanting to re-read her Jane Austen novels, and today would be perfect for reading a classic.

  The time went by quite quickly when Lena had a novel in hand. Had the buzzing of her cell phone not brought her back to reality, she wouldn't have been aware that it was already eleven o'clock.

  “Hello?” She managed to get to her phone, before it turned over to voicemail.

  “Good Morning, Lena.” She heard the familiar warm voice on the other end. “Did I allow you to sleep-in long enough?”

  “Hi, Rick. I’ve been up a while now.” Lena couldn’t believe he called her so early. That must mean that he enjoyed last night as much as she did. Even though, like he said, they didn’t spend all that much time together.

  “I was wondering if, instead of waiting until this evening, I could pick you up this afternoon. I’d like to spend the day with you…If you don’t mind?”

  She’d love to! “Oh, sure, that'd be nice. When? I’m not ready right now.”

  “How ‘bout in an hour? I’ll take you to lunch.”

  Oh my goodness, an hour? To get ready? Really? “An hour’s perfect,” Lena lied.

  “Good. I’ll pick you up at noon.”

  Lena could not believe it. He wanted to spend the day with her. What would she wear? She couldn’t get too dressed up. Who knows what they would be doing the rest of the day. Should she wear a miniskirt, jeans, leggings? And oh my goodness, what shoes?

  Well those dilemmas would have to wait until after her shower. She needed time to let her hair air-dry a little before she blew it dry.

  Promptly, Rick rang her doorbell...at precisely twelve noon. She checked herself in the mirror. Gap jeans, brown Durango boots, white tee, sienna-colored hoodie with a leather pull-string. Her dark brownish-black hair was pulled into two loose side ponytails. She’d contemplated that decision one more quick time, but decided she liked her hair in two ponytails and so what if she looked like a teenager. She liked her style.

  The doorbell rang again. “Oh my goodness,” Lena cried out loud. She’d forgotten he was at the door. She grabbed her purse off the bed, ran down the stairs, and opened the door. “Hey Rick,” she huffed, out of breath from running down the stairs. Boy, she thought, she’d better start exercising if running down two flights of stairs had her gasping for air. “Sorry about that.”

  “No problem. If you need more time, I don’t mind waiting.”

  “No. I’m good,” she claimed, as she reached behind her to pull the door shut.

  “You look sweet, Lena.” Rick took her hand and headed toward his Jeep. “I thought we’d take a ride up to Sugar Loaf to have lunch. Have you ever been?”

  “Sugar Loaf? No. Is that a restaurant?”

  Rick chuckled. “It’s a town. In New York State.”

  Lena smiled.

  “It’s an artsy type of community. Lots of crafty stuff. Just under the Sugar Loaf Mountain up route 23…near Warwick.”

  “Oh, I’ve never heard of it.”

  “I think you’ll like it,” he said, as he started the car.

  With the roof and doors off the jeep, Lena's decision to put her hair in two ponytails had been a good idea. The warm breeze mimicked sixty mile per hour winds as they drove the highway northbound. The sensation thrilled her, as did the presence of the man in the driver's seat.

  The Barnsider Tavern was a cozy two-story pub and restaurant, quaint, with a fireplace on both floors.

  “So, where’d you find out about this place?” Lena wondered.

  “A few years ago, a band I used to play with had a gig here. I like it up here.” The waiter came with their drink order. Rick raised his beer mug to Lena. “To us.”

  Lena smiled, clinking her diet coke to his mug. “To us.” Lena blushed. “So… do you come to Sugar Loaf a lot?”

  Rick shrugged. “Not often, no. I met this woman up here once…”

  "Oh,” Lena exhaled.

  Rick grinned, apparently appreciating the flattery. “No, Lena, not like that. This woman was," he took a breath, “a psychic of sorts.”

  “A psychic?” Lena marveled. “You believe in psychics?”

  “To a point, I guess…I don’t know…she helped me get through some …s
tuff…I suppose.”

  “Did she tell you about your future?”

  Rick chuckled. “No. Not about my future...more about my past.”

  “Oh.” The girl from the song, Lena remembered.

  “What…Oh?” Rick asked of her quick comment.

  “Just…oh.” Rick peered at Lena and she resumed, “Lindsey told me you had a hard time getting over a girl.”

  “She did, did she? Well, Lindsey thinks she knows everything, I think.”

  “You didn’t have a hard time getting over a girl?”

  Rick focused his eyes on Lena’s. His gaze was intense…sending little trickles of excitement through her. “Yes…I did, but…it’s complicated and…” Rick became pensive momentarily, then shrugged. “I’m done getting over her.”

  Lena glowed from the inside out. “Good.”

  “Yes. It’s very good.”

  *************

  After lunch, Rick showed Lena Romer’s Alley, a street in Sugar Loaf that was a village in itself. He took joy in their hand-in-hand walk through the gardens and watching her peruse the Moondancer and other specialty shops. He loved finally having this time with her. He never wanted to let her go.

  “I’m having a really nice time today, Rick. Thank you for taking me here.”

  Rick looked down at Lena and squeezed her hand. The warmth of the afternoon sunlight, and the way it glistened off of Lena's brown eyes, punctuated the perfectness of the day.

  “You’re very welcome. I’m having a really nice time, as well.”

  They walked quietly for a while, before turning back and heading home.

  In Rick’s jeep, he turned on the radio and let the classic rock station fill the car with a Fleetwood Mac song. He knew the song well, because his mom listened to Stevie Nicks frequently during his childhood. A 70s hit was the song playing on the radio, and while he listened, his heart overflowed with happiness. The song was Dreams, and for years he had only to dream of the love he’d longed for. Now, as if by magic, she appeared true-to-life, no longer a figment of his imagination. No longer an illusion from his past.