After the Pain

by Gia Riley

  “Nothing about that kiss was a problem, so what’s up?” he asks.

  “Well, I kind of have an offer on my house. So, unless I can get out of the deal, I’m homeless.”

  He nuzzles his nose against mine and kisses me softly. “It looks like you’re moving in with me, then.” He concentrates on my lips again as soon as the words leave his mouth. I break the kiss for the second time and sit up so we can have an actual conversation. It’s impossible to concentrate on the facts while his mouth is on me. I’ve missed his kisses.

  “Sean, are you serious?”

  “Why the hell not? You’re mine and the mother of my child. I wouldn’t want you anywhere else. I take care of what’s mine, Hallie. We’ll be together every night anyway so why pay two house payments and throw money away?

  “Well I guess it works for practical reasons. You’re right about that.”

  “And because I love you, Hallie. You’re it for me. I want you and the baby under the same roof where I can protect you both. You’ll fall asleep in my arms every night and I’ll take care of you.”

  “Sean”, I say in a whisper. He brushes his thumb over my lips and sucks on the skin just under my earlobe. The sensation is unexpected and has desire pooling in my belly. When I break out of my love drunk haze, I immediately need to show him how much I love him too.

  My stomach growls loudly, adding some humor to our intense connection. Sean laughs mid kiss. “We will finish this after we eat. What are you hungry for?” he asks.

  “Just you.” I grab the front of his shirt and yank him back down on top of me. I’ve missed his body so much. Just when I start to unzip his pants, he grabs my hand and stops me from getting exactly what I’m craving.

  “Baby, as much as I want to continue this, you need to eat. My little lady is hungry.”

  “You think it’s a girl? Would that be weird for you considering your past?” I ask. I’m not trying to add drama, but I want him to be honest about where his head’s at.

  “It wouldn’t be weird at all. It can only be one of two things and I’d kinda like to have a mini-Hallie running around.”

  “Of us.” I add.

  “I like the sound of that.” We go back to making out like two horny teenagers, deciding my next meal can wait a little longer.

  I spend the next few days finalizing the paperwork for the sale of my house. Sean and Alex have been helping me with the packing, determined not to let me overdo it. Sean even makes me stop every half hour to relax with my feet up. I love the way he takes care of me, but I keep telling him I’m not that fragile. He responds by kissing my bump and that he needs to keep his little princess safe. I sat right down after those words came out of his mouth. If this baby really is a girl, she will be wrapped around his little finger before she’s even born.

  Letting go of my house isn’t terribly difficult. I’ll miss my swing, lemon tree and my window seat - my summer and winter relaxing places. It’ll be worth it though to start this new journey with Sean. Hopefully living together will only intensify our relationship and not hinder our growth as a couple. Things can change once you start living with a person. He’s promised to take me shopping for some new furnishings so we can make it a home together.

  “Is this the last box you have, babe?” Sean asks as he breaks me out of my trance.

  “That’s the last one. Alex took the others over for me last night before he left.” I take one last look around my now empty house and realize it’s just that, a house. My home will be the space I share with my family. Our memories created there will trump anything I’ve ever felt living here.

  “Ready?”

  I grab Sean’s hand and exhale, “Yeah, I’m ready.” I close the door and lock it up for the last time. We walk the short distance to our new home and it hits me how serious things are becoming. I have no idea why it took so long for this reality to smack me upside the head, but when it does, I don’t feel as panicked about giving up my independence as I thought I would.

  Sean stops to kiss me as we walk through the front door of our home. He has a key on a keychain waiting for me. It’s not just any old keychain he had lying around in the junk drawer of his kitchen. No, this one is pink and says Mommy. My eyes tear up as my fingers trace over the letters. “Thank you for this. It’s perfect.”

  “You’re welcome, but if you get this worked up over a keychain we’re going to have some trouble getting the nursery done.”

  “Damn hormones,” I say with a laugh. “This is a big step, one I wasn’t sure was ever in the cards for me. So, thank you, for giving me something new to dream about.”

  “I want to make all your dreams come true, Hallie. You ain’t seen nothing yet, babe,” he says as he picks me up and twirls me around. As I’m spinning in circles I take note of my surroundings. I can’t believe how much of my stuff he has organized and put away already. I was expecting to spend the next few days up to my ears in boxes.

  “Did you sleep last night? How did you get all this done already?” I ask in shock as I continue to look around the house. I’m an organizer and a planner, but whoever did this, knows how I like to live.

  “I had help from Alex and Tanner. I figured they would know where you’d want everything since they’ve been in your house so much. You can fix anything you don’t like, but I didn’t want you to push yourself too hard. You have to take it easy now, little momma.”

  “Little momma. I don’t feel so little. My pants keep getting tighter. I need to get some of those stretchy jeans. I seriously used a twisty tie from the bread to close my pants this morning because all my sweats were packed up. I’m going to need a whole bed just for my ass.”

  “You can have whatever you want,” he says as he kisses my nose, “because you’re all mine. I’ll take you shopping for your stretchy stuff too.”

  I laugh when I notice he bought a brand new bed while he was working on getting me situated in the house. I can think of nothing I want more than to test out the amazingly soft mattress. “Sean, where are my handcuffs? We should break this sucker in properly.”

  He looks at me in horror. “Hallie, we can’t do that stuff anymore. Let’s just take a nap. You should rest.”

  “Sean, seriously? All I did was walk down the street. I’m capable of a lot more and sex isn’t off limits when a woman gets pregnant. You know that as well as I do.” I can’t believe I’m the one actually begging him to get me naked.

  “It’s different though. I don’t want to hurt you or the baby.”

  “What do you think you’re going to do?” I know exactly where this conversation is headed and I’m already trying to think of a gentle way to assure him that his penis isn’t big enough to break my water or hurt the baby.

  “Well, what if you go into labor or I poke the baby in the eye. It’s all the same chute, one way in, one way out.”

  No he didn’t. I bite the shit out of the inside of my cheek in a last ditch effort to control myself from the case of hysterics about to break loose. It’s only once I try to speak that I just give up and fall onto the bed in a fit of giggles. “Poke her in the eye! Seriously?” I keep laughing my ass off. Sean sits down on the edge of the bed, watching me. I notice his face is slightly flushed so I get it together and sit back up.

  “I’m sorry, Sean, but you won’t hurt either of us. So let’s just get naked and we can christen this new bed that I love so much.” I stand and undo the twisty tie on my shorts, sliding them down to my ankles. I step out of them and start working on my shirt buttons. Sean’s watching me intently, raking his eyes over my body.

  “You’re boobs look bigger.”

  “So does my ass.”

  “Stop it, woman. You look incredible.” He reaches over and helps me pull my arms out of my shirt. My breasts feel full in my demi bra when I reach behind my back to undo the clasp. Sean pulls the straps down and it falls in his lap. He starts gently pinching my nipples, cupping me in his palms. Every touch inches me closer to my need for release. I lie back on
the bed and watch as Sean pulls down my matching lace panties. I’m getting impatient with his slow perusal so I decide to help him get rid of his own clothes, but I’m denied.

  “Babe, tonight is about you. Just let me please you, okay.”

  I lie back down but prop myself up on my elbows so I can watch what he’s doing to me. He stops kissing his way up my body and I groan. He’s seriously torturing me right now. His head dips down and I watch him take a sip of the drink he carried in here with him. Seriously? I flop back on the bed and let out my frustration in the form of an impatient huff. I throw my arms over my eyes and squeeze my eye lids shut in an attempt to dull the ache between my legs. I’ve been warned about pregnancy hormones and their effect on a woman’s libido. It’s no joke.

  Sean’s taking his grand time, but when I finally feel his lips on my skin again, I jump in surprise. His mouth is freezing. I prop myself back up to see what he’s doing and see the tip of the ice cube he’s sucking on inside his mouth. “Holy shit, Sean.”

  “You like that?”

  “Ohmigod. That feels amazing.” He’s doing things with his tongue I’ve never experienced before and the coldness of his entire mouth has my nerve endings on high alert. Just when I think he’s finished with the ice, a new piece appears and rocks my world all over again.

  “Sean, shit!” I’m grabbing onto the pillows above my head in a death grip. I’m so close to falling over the edge, but he stops just before I’m there every single time.

  “You look so beautiful right now, baby.”

  The last piece of ice melts inside my belly button and I start to feel his warmth again. I decide I’ve had all the teasing I can handle for now. “Sean, I’m ready, just stick it in”

  “Where’s the romance in that, Hallie.”

  “I don’t need romance right now, I need you!”

  “What’s the rush?” he lifts his head and gives me a puzzled expression. He’s stalling and I’m on to his game.

  “There is no rush. I just need you. You have me so worked up and it’s been so long.” Why do I suddenly feel like the guy in this relationship?

  “Maybe we should wait until tomorrow. I’ll call the doctor; just to be sure it’s okay.”

  “You’re not going to let this go are you?” I ask in complete frustration, throwing my pillow over my face.

  “I’m trying, here.”

  “Forget it. Where are my toys? I have some good ones I bought at Amie’s party. We can use those. Which drawer did you put them in?” I’m frantically trying to get off the bed and hunt for my bag of goodies.

  “You have toys?”

  “I do.”

  “We are not using fake shit when I have the real thing.”

  “Then use it!”

  “Get your ass over here, Hallie.”

  “It’s about time.”

  Apparently all Sean needed tonight was a push in the right direction and the threat of a vibrator. He’s still being careful with me, but doesn’t hold back at all – exactly the way I wanted it. The way I needed it.

  THE NEXT SEVERAL MONTHS fly by in a similar fashion. I’m getting bigger by the day it seems and my ass now has its own zip code. The weather is finally getting cooler so I can see my ankles deflating a little bit. Sean and I are getting along better than ever even if we have started to argue over cutting back my hours at the hospital. He thinks I should stay off my feet while I’m content to work right up to my due date. If I go into labor at work, at least I’ll save myself the drive.

  I have to work all day today and afterward I’m meeting Alex at Pea in a Pod to finish up some shopping for the nursery. My co-workers gave me a surprise baby shower at work last week, totally shocking me. They snagged almost everything off my registry. I’m just going back to pick up a few remaining items so I can cross them off my to-do list. Sean knows how crazy I get with my lists! I think my lists even have lists right now. I’ve already spent the whole week organizing, washing neutral colored clothing, and rearranging the baby’s room over and over. My nesting tendencies are slightly out of control. Every cabinet, drawer and closet in our house is alphabetized and color coded. When I tackle a job, I knock it out of the park.

  Sean had an equally interesting time putting the crib, changing table and dresser together. The man refused to check the directions before starting. According to him, a real man doesn’t need to be told how to assemble furniture. I watched him like a hawk making sure every screw and bolt was used assuring our child’s safety. He doesn’t know I saw him glance at the directions a time or two when he thought I was putting clothing away.

  There are still a few pink dresses I haven’t washed yet since we haven’t found out if we are having a boy or a girl. Of course I was itching to know, but after we talked about it, we decided it really would be incredible to wait until the day I deliver. Sean bought the dresses regardless. He’s still positive he will have his little princess. I let him think whatever he wants considering I’ve had vivid dreams about both a girl and a boy. All I know is there’s a baby coming into this world who is rowdy, doesn’t like any of the food choices I make, and keeps me up at night. If you ask me, that sounds more like a man in the making than a woman.

  By the time I finish my shift and get home from Pea in a Pod, I’m exhausted and need to eat immediately. My back is killing me from standing so much and for the first time, I agree with Sean about cutting back my schedule. I’ll even let him have his I told ya so moment if it means I can sit my ass down. I notice the front door of the house is unlocked, but all the lights are off.

  “Sean? You home?” I yell loud enough so he can hear me all the way in the bedroom. He doesn’t answer me so I toss my bags on the couch, take off my shoes and head straight for the kitchen to chow down. The kitchen light is off too, but I can see some flickering lights outside. Curious, I round the center island in the kitchen to peek out the sliding glass door leading to the backyard. When my eyes adjust to the darkness, I gasp, putting my hand over my mouth, the tears are already threatening to fall. Sean is standing outside on the newly built deck where a small bistro table is adorned with peonies and tulips, my favorite. He’s holding another bouquet in his hand.

  I can’t slide the door open fast enough to get to him. Stepping outside I’m immediately shocked by what my eyes see. Not only has Sean built a small deck with new furniture and a grill, he built me a porch swing exactly like the one I left behind at my house. He knew how much my swing meant to me.

  I walk to the bench and sit down with my head resting against the wooden back. There are white twinkle lights draped all over the arbor above the deck. They give the porch a romantic ambiance I could only dream about. This is ten times better than what I gave up to move here. Sean’s watching me take everything in with an apprehensive smile on his face.

  It takes some effort to get myself up off the swing – my belly making me unstable. I see Sean take a step closer, ready to help me. The candles flickering against the china on the table catch my eye next. The warm glow makes everything sparkle. I take a sip of my lemonade, my beverage of choice lately. Sean takes two steps closer to me, holding out the flowers for me to accept. I bring them to my nose, sniffing their sweet floral scent.

  “I can’t believe all this, Sean. How did you have time to do all of this today?” I ask in amazement.

  “I took the day off and hired some guys to help me. I wanted to do it myself, but needed it done by the time you got home. You’re shift on top of the trip to the baby store gave me a little bonus time.”

  “Why do you look nervous? Were you scared I wouldn’t like it?” I ask.

  “Something like that.”

  “Well you’re crazy and I love it. Thank you so much.” I give him a kiss, which he deepens, sending my raging hormones into overdrive already. I know I need to get a grip before I get too carried away. Holding me in his arms he looks into my eyes and smiles. Damn, I love his smile.

  “You hungry, babe? I’d like to say I made dinner but A
lex came over and helped with that part. He’s not great with a hammer, but he can cook the shit out of anything.”

  “Did he bring my crock pot back?”

  “He did. Only you would be worried about a crock pot.”

  “Sorry. I just have the spot for it reserved in the closet. Maybe I went a little overboard with the nesting.” I reluctantly confess.

  “You’re adorable; this place has never been so clean. I even saw my socks were arranged by color in my drawer,” he says with a laugh. I guess I did go a bit overboard.

  Sean sits me down at the small, iron, bistro table sitting beautifully on our deck. He kisses me again before walking inside to get our dinner. I knew I smelled something when I got home. This prego nose of mine can smell food for miles. He brings out two plates of filet mignon with roasted sweet potatoes and salad, three of my favorite foods. I dig in before Sean even sits back down.

  “Sorry,” I say with a mouth full of sweet potato. “I’m starving.”

  Laughing Sean digs into his own meal, “It’s okay, babe. My little lady must be starving by now.” I smile, secretly hoping that at the end of the next four weeks, he gets his wish.

  After the first course, Sean unveils dessert - a huge lemon meringue pie, another favorite. He went all out for this tonight. Quickly slicing us each a piece, we dig in, both moaning in delight from the sugary goodness. Sean finishes his and pushes his plate to the side. He rests his chin on his hand, watching me finish my pie. Although it’s slightly awkward having him inspect me while I eat, I don’t mind.

  “You okay over there, chief?”

  “You really are so incredibly beautiful, Hallie.”

  I still blush when he compliments me after all these months together. “Thanks. I still feel like a cow though. I’m ready to deflate.”

  “Baby, your body is giving me one of the greatest gifts in the world. It’s sexy as hell and I love you.”

  “I love you too.”

  Sean gets up from the table. “Wait here,” he says.