Past Heaven

by Laura Ward

  “We’ll call you tomorrow to set it up.” Bradley shook my hand, and I reached across the table to shake Gary’s as well.

  I hurried into the hallway, looking for Liz. I found her by the restroom, leaning against the wall with her eyes closed. I grabbed her arms and pulled her close to me.

  “Talk to me. What are you thinking right now?” I kissed her forehead and rubbed her arms. She opened her eyes which were red with tears, and she sobbed as I held her.

  “Reynolds, she’s right. I was listening to her and thinking, what is my happy ending? Will my true story end happily? It was hard to hear because it’s my greatest fear.”

  I kissed her salty, tear-stained lips and then looked into her eyes. “Liz, I love you with all of my soul. Let me be your happy ending. Please, let us be your happy ending. I promise I’ll spend every day trying to make you the happiest woman on earth.”

  THE TIME HAD come. I had to tell him. I hadn’t planned that it would be in the hallway of the Goldman & Sons building, but I couldn’t wait any longer. “I have only said this to one other man.” I drew in a breath and closed my eyes, needing my inner strength to let me speak the words honestly. Wanting to watch his face as I spoke, I opened them. “I love you. I love you completely. I love you so, so much. I don’t deserve a generous and thoughtful man like you, but I can’t help it. I think about you all the time. I want to touch you and kiss you with every cell in my body. I want you to be my happy ending. I love you. I love you. I love you—”

  Reynolds cut me off with a kiss as he lifted me off the ground. “Never. I have never felt like this.” He took a deep, shuddering breath and stared at me intently. “I love you too, Elizabeth. I’ll never let you down,” he said, hugging me to him.

  “I need to be with you, Reyn. Take me to your house. I don’t want our first time together to be in a hotel room.” Reynolds stopped kissing my neck and shoulders and looked at me, eyes burning with hunger.

  “Yes.” He clenched his eyes shut, and his jaw tightened as if he was restraining himself from something. “We need to leave. Now.”

  Reynolds dragged me through the office to the elevators, pressing his lips against mine as we waited for the doors to open. Thankfully, the elevator was empty. Reynolds pushed me against the wall, holding my face in his hands and thrusting his tongue into my mouth, stroking it against mine. The groans coming from the back of his throat were of restrained pleasure. My hands fisted his suit jacket, and I struggled to keep up with his intensity. My knees weakened from the onslaught. His kiss was entirely possessive.

  I wanted nothing more than to be possessed by him.

  Eric was waiting with the Town Car outside the office doors, and I climbed into the seat, panting and overwhelmed with the emotion of what was happening to us.

  Reynolds moved in behind me and grabbed my legs, pulling me toward him. “I need you so much, Liz.”

  I looked into his eyes and a shiver ran through me from the magnitude of the moment. Reynolds slid his hand under my dress and eased his way up my thigh, causing my core to tighten. Then as if waiting to draw out the anticipation, his fingers tugged at the seam of my panties. I expelled a shaky breath, watching him as he slipped his fingers inside my panties.

  My eyes darted toward Eric in the front, but relief washed over me when I saw that the tinted divider was up. I ran my hands up his chest and my fingertips lightly traced his lips. “Reyn.” His name slipped off my tongue like silk, and I felt my face heat as I tried to slow my rapid breathing. “Touch me.”

  I had pictured this moment. Laying in my bed in the dark of night. I had imagined just this, the first time I felt his fingers touch me. He watched my reaction as he caressed me, his eyes blazing with heat. “You waxed.” His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed. I nodded, my mouth open, but unable to speak.

  “Holy fuck.” He stroked me with one finger and I groaned. His finger pushed slowly inside me and my hands grasped and flexed on the seat. I wanted this so badly.

  My lungs burned with my gasp when he slipped another finger inside me, while nipping at my lips. “Oh, yes, yes, yes, please….”

  His eyes darkened, and his lids half closed as his fingers continued to slide over me, inside me, around me. “Fuck…you’re so wet. You’re so ready for me,” he murmured, his words hot in my ear.

  I threw my head back against the seat, eyes clenched shut, squirming with unresolved need as he stroked me faster and with more pressure. I needed the release that his touch brought. My body was racing through a darkened tunnel, blood rushing faster and faster through my veins and roaring in my ears. Reynolds dragged his tongue down my neck. The wet warmth brought my system to the brink. My body convulsed, muscles tense and taut until he pressed down hard on my most sensitive spot. Lights flashed before my eyes as the pleasure exploded in my body.

  “Oh my god, Reyn.” I cried out as I came, toes curled, back arched, hands clutching his jacket.

  “Fuck yes. Too long. I’ve waited too long. I love you too damn much to stop,” Reynolds whispered savagely in my ear as I whimpered against him.

  The raw, unrestrained need coming from him seemed almost out of his control. Pulling down my dress, I climbed onto his lap. “Slow down...I’m not going anywhere.” I stroked his cheeks, raining kisses along his jaw in an attempt to calm him. “You have me, and I adore you.” Reynolds closed his eyes and held me, our breathing slowing as the car made its way to his house.

  WE COULDN’T GET back to my house fast enough. She said the words. They had been the best damn words she had ever spoken to me. Opening her heart and being vulnerable was hard for her, but she did it. Jesus, I was more in love with her, if that was even possible.

  Touching her was sensory overload.

  Watching her was the best thing I’d ever seen.

  “Bed. Now.” Liz followed me through the front door and jumped in my arms. The sweet floral scent of her wrapped around me. Her teeth pulled at my lip, sucking it into her mouth. I groaned as my hands weaved in her hair, pulling her closer. I'd been with women. I knew women. But she wasn't just any woman. She was Elizabeth, and she was mine. Passion poured from her, and my pulse thrummed.

  She looked up at me with a sex-crazed smile. “I said, now.”

  I'd never wanted anyone like this before. I tilted my head back, taking a deep breath, trying to slow things down. I wanted to make it last, make it special, but she held me prisoner. She wouldn’t give me reprieve, nipping and licking my neck and sucking on my earlobe. Fuck slow. I needed her. NOW.

  Cupping her face, I looked down at her swollen lips and hooded eyes. My heart thundered in my chest, and I lost all coherent thoughts. “You're mine, Elizabeth.” She wrapped her legs around my waist. Lowering my mouth over hers, I kissed her all the way to my bedroom. “Are you sure about this?” I asked between kisses.

  Liz pulled at the buttons on my dress shirt. “Yes. Please…please…” She ran her hands down my chest, and my skin felt seared from her touch.

  “Are you on the pill? I’m clean, I got tested after…”

  She pulled my shirt off my shoulders and started on my belt buckle. When she looked up, her eyes sparkled with excitement.

  “Tubes tied. Not romantic to say, but I’m safe. I trust you. Now would you pretty please take off your pants?”

  She grinned and I shook my head. She was happy. She was ready.

  I sat back on the bed and looked at her. Her face was flushed and she bit her lip. “Undress for me. I want to watch you.”

  She looked nervous for a moment, but my steady gaze seemed to empower her. Her smile grew strong and confident as she slipped off her sandals and reached back to unzip her dress. It fell to the floor, and she stood before me in her bra and panties.

  “You’re so beautiful. Keep going. Take it all off.”

  She unclasped her bra, and her breasts were right in front of me. I had to stop myself from reaching out and touching her. I wanted the full experience of a naked Liz in front of me first. Hooki
ng her fingers under her thong, she pulled the tiny thing off in a second. She stood in front of me exposed and vulnerable. My body vibrated with the need to feel her, to taste her. I wanted to throw her on the bed, but more overpowering than that was the need to protect her and cherish every inch of her body.

  “Come here,” I whispered. I laid her on her back and caged her in with my hands and elbows on either side of her body. “Do you know how much I want you?” I searched her face as she closed her eyes, shaking her head.

  “Reyn…I need to feel you.” Liz panted. I kissed her, making love to her mouth. I treated her lips and tongue like I was about to treat her body. Gentle at first, worshipping her with light kisses and sucks that increased in demand. She stayed with me, right at the tempo I set for us, kissing me back harder as my tongue explored her mouth.

  Pulling away, she touched her plump, red lips with her fingertips and then touched my lips. “That kiss told our story; where we had been and where we are going. I love you.”

  “Let me show you how much I love you.” My voice was hoarse, and her eyes glazed with desire. I moved down to her breasts and sucked at her nipples. She cried out, and I traveled down, raining kisses on her body, not missing a spot.

  “More. More. Please. Oh, please.” She pleaded, her body writhing on the bed.

  I grinned, pressing my lips to her belly. “I’m right here. I’ve been waiting for this part for too long.” I brought my lips lower until I was between her legs.

  “Reynolds!” she called out my name, grabbing the sheets when she felt my tongue on her.

  “Reyn…Oh-god-oh-god-oh-god…Shit...Yes…Reynolds!” Her chants of my name, God’s name, and the occasional shout of profanity made me feel happier than I had ever been, bringing a woman pleasure. I never wanted to stop, loving how much she was enjoying herself. She let go, becoming free and wild. She clutched the sheets and buried her face in the pillow. Then she let go, pulling at her hair and rubbing her breasts. She was sensual, sexual, and uninhibited. When she screamed out as she climaxed again, I almost lost control. Quickly, I pulled off the rest of my clothes and settled over top of her.

  Panting, she slowly opened her heavy-lidded eyes and licked her lips. Her body glistened with a light layer of sweat, and her fingers played with my hair. She smiled and lifted her hips in invitation.

  “Keep your eyes open. I want to see you.” My voice was gruff, but I was barely holding on. She nodded, and I pushed into her slowly. Her eyes filled with tears, and she gasped, grabbing hold of my shoulders.

  “Oh Reyn, I…I…”

  “I know. I know. I’m here. I’m not leaving. Let me love you.” I kissed her as I continued to slide in. This feeling was surreal. Joining our bodies like this, brought me a sense of completion I didn’t know existed. I’d heard people talk about being with someone and feeling whole. Now, I got it.

  She moaned and wrapped her legs around me, and I arched my back, making sure I could watch her. I needed to see her face as she experienced this. I wanted to make sure she was secure, and I wanted to see what brought her the most pleasure.

  “You feel so good. So fucking good.” I leaned close to her face and whispered as I pumped into her over and over again. “Do you feel it? Do you feel me? I want to make you feel so good.” My words filled the room, and tears rolled down her face as her body convulsed again with her climax.

  “Reynolds!” She grabbed my face as she came, and I joined her, never breaking eye contact. I finally understood what making love was.

  REYNOLDS FLIPPED ME over. I rested on his chest, our legs tangled together, as our bodies hummed with pleasure. I picked my head up so I could kiss his defined pecs and run my fingers through his chest hair like I had wanted to do for months.

  “Are you okay?” He looked at me with tenderness as his hands rubbed my back.

  “Am I okay?” I laughed, burying my face in his chest again.

  “Yeah, are you okay? You cried and I need to know if you’re all right.” He pulled my face up to his.

  I sighed and kissed his lips. “Tears of happiness, Reyn,” I paused, allowing myself to absorb that I had cried tears that were not from grief, for the first time in over a year. “That was…That was unbelievable. I mean, holy shit. I have no words. Almost. Except, I keep babbling. Am I in shock?” I laughed, and rolled onto my back, covering my face with my hands.

  He pulled my hands from my face and kissed my lips tenderly. Then, he moved down my body kissing a path toward my stomach. “What’s this scar from?” His fingers were tracing a scar right above my pubic bone.

  “Yeah, you probably haven’t seen a caesarean section scar before. Most 20-year old models don’t have one of these, huh?” I tried to sound light, but I was nervous. Seeing my scar when we made love for the first time had worried me.

  Reynolds leaned down and ran his tongue lightly over the scar. He studied it and kissed it again as I whispered his name. Then he kissed my breasts, reverently. “Life giving. Your body has carried and birthed three babies. You’re strong and beautiful, and I love every inch of you.” He brought his mouth to mine, kissing me deeply and groaning, the sound vibrating in the back of his throat.

  “When can we do it again?” I asked, my lips still pressed against his, refusing to pull away. I brought my hand further down his body and was very pleased to feel we would be making love again soon.

  Reynolds growled and lifted me onto his waist. “Right now.” My eyes fluttered as his lips nipped along my neck. A tiny shiver coursed through my body, and I let myself go.

  I had never been ordered around during sex and damn if I didn’t love that. I needed that. No room was left for my inadequacies, insecurities, or doubts. I had no way to control my environment. I listened to the man I loved and did what he asked. For the first time in a long time, I lived in the moment.

  I lifted my hips as he entered me slowly. The position caused a whole new feeling to flood through me as my body ignited. “Oh, shit! Oh, yes!” I placed my hands on his chest and threw my head back as I moved over Reynolds. His fingers dug into my hips as he directed me forward and back, lifting me onto him over and over in a ferocious rhythm. His strength and control were unrivaled. I watched his face, steeled with self-control, begin to contort from the pleasure. Beads of sweat formed on his forehead, and he groaned loudly. Before I knew what was happening, my vision blurred and another orgasm ripped through me, my scream filling the room.

  “Fuck, fuck, fuck.” Reynold grunted as he came, his six-pack bunched from his exertion.

  I just had four orgasms in less than two hours. Holy crap.

  Breathing heavily, we laid side by side, fingers laced together. Reynolds turned onto his side to face me. I had to say the words again. I wasn’t sure I’d ever say them enough to him. “I love you. With every single part of me, I love you.”

  I HEARD KNOCKING on my front door and slipped on a pair of jeans. Maria was off today, dammit. I hated to leave Liz wrapped in my sheets, naked in my bed. Her soft, warm body was the only thing I wanted to focus on all morning long. I couldn’t help it. Liz was everything I had ever wanted, and I wanted her over and over again.

  “Reynolds, good morning.” Bradley Goldman looked me up and down, and I realized I should have grabbed a shirt. “I hope I’m not disturbing you. I wanted to drop off the revised contracts.”

  “Come in. Don’t you have minions to drop off papers like these? I thought you were past doing house calls.” I grinned at him, but he remained serious.

  “I also wanted to talk to you about Ms. Atwater.” Bradley began and then stopped as Liz walked out of my bedroom, wearing the same dress she had worn yesterday. With disheveled hair, and bare feet, she looked fucking enticing.

  “Hello, Mr. Goldman” Liz walked over to me, and I wrapped my arm around her shoulders and kissed the top of her head.

  “Hello, Ms. Atwater. I hope you’re okay after our meeting yesterday.” He then cleared his throat and looked around with obvious discomfort. “I
heard that you and Reynolds were kissing in our office hallway.”

  Liz looked up at me with worry, while I stared at Bradley. “What’s the problem, Brad? Liz and I have started a relationship. We’re adults, and we can do what we want.”

  Bradley shook his head and pinched the bridge of his nose. “You cannot see each other, Reynolds. You two can’t have any relationship at all until after the movie is released. Check the contracts you both signed. It’s in there. In certain cases, relationships can jeopardize the success of the movie. This is one of those cases. We need audiences to love Liz and feel for her. That will not happen if they think she has already forgotten about her husband and quickly moved on with a big hot shot movie star.”

  Liz stiffened, and she brought her hand to her neck.

  “She’s grieved for her husband for over a year and continues to do so. She’s still in pain and that pain will never end. We became great friends working on this project together, and I’ve fallen in love with her.” I rubbed her back, anxious for her to not feel guilty or alone.

  “Stick with the friendship, Reynolds.” He removed his glasses and used the edge of his shirt to wipe them. “I’m damn serious here. We’re not investing this kind of cash in a project only to have you two fuck it up with a sensationalized relationship. Let me know if you change your minds about working with our company.” Bradley put his glasses back on, turned, and left the house.

  My shoulders hunched, and my head drooped. I tried to swallow, but my throat was dry. “Liz?”

  “WELL, THIS WAS fun.” I laughed awkwardly, rubbing my hands along my arms as I walked into the family room. I was at a loss for words.

  “Christ, Liz. What the hell do we do?” Reynolds paced in front of me, dragging his hands through his hair.

  I walked over to him and wrapped my arms around his chest. “We do the right thing. We finish what we started.” I gave him a bitter smile. Pulling back to watch him, I ran my hands up and down the curves of his chest. “The project comes first. We finish what we started. Then, there will be time for us.”