Winter Hearts

by A. E. Radley

  “Of course.” Emmie waited a beat. She knew there was more to it than that.

  “I’m just concerned, is all.”

  “About?”

  “About what you are and aren’t going to do for the holidays, and beyond. I realize you plan on moving Seth right after Christmas, whether he likes it or not.”

  Emmie covered the receiver and sighed.

  Trudy Oakes railed on. “But what about the traditional family Christmas Eve and Christmas Day gatherings? Where are you going to be? Are you really going to buck all of our traditions? I mean, poor Seth. He’s innocent in all of this.”

  “Mother, I fully intend to be there for Christmas Eve. That’s were Seth will be. I’m not going to not be with him.”

  “And Christmas morning?”

  She hadn’t thought that out. “I’ll work that out. You’ll have a house full. I may leave late, come back here and just come over early enough for the big hullabaloo in the morning.”

  “Emmie Lou, you watch your mouth! Don’t call it that.”

  “Sorry Mama…”

  Cass walked up behind Emmie where she sat at the desk they’d set up for her in the living room. “What are you up too?”

  Emmie rubbed at her temples. “I’m trying to grade spelling homework.”

  “Not going so well?”

  She shook her head.

  “Your mom?”

  “Yes.”

  “Do you want to talk about it?” Cass started to rub her shoulders. “You’re so tense.”

  “There’s not much to say. She called here to poke, prod and guilt me into spending the whole holiday over there. She says, ‘it’s tradition’.”

  “You can, you know. I don’t want to interfere with the holidays this year. Next year…that’s different. We’ll have a whole year to figure it out and come up with a plan that considers everyone.”

  Emmie rolled her shoulders. “This should be the other way around. I should be giving you a massage rub after the day you’ve put in.”

  Cass smiled but didn’t stop. She pressed her thumbs into the know at the base of Emmie’s neck and worked at the knot there.

  Emmie moaned. “Wow…or you could just keep doing that.”

  Slowly, the knot started to dissipate. Cass rubbed her a little bit more and then bent down and kissed her neck in the spot she’d been tending to before moving around to the curve of Em’s neck and shoulder and feathering kisses along it as she inched her blouse away.”

  Emmie drew in a deep breath.

  Emboldened, Cass straightened up and ran the hand now around her lover’s upper arm, down to cup a breast. She rubbed her thumb lightly over the areola.

  Emmie moaned, all thoughts of the work still to be done, gone.

  Cass pulled her up out of her chair and turned her. She dipped her head and was about to kiss her when a heavy footfall clattered across the front porch toward the door. They stepped apart just as the door opened and Jimmy entered.

  In the bedroom, an hour later, Cass pulled Emmie into a deep kiss, picking up where she left off. When she managed to drag her lips away, she worked the buttons on Em’s blouse. “I can’t believe you stayed in your school clothes. Let’s get you into something a little more comfortable.”

  Emmie gave her a sidelong look. “Bed?”

  “Exactly.”

  Em couldn’t help but laugh. She stood waiting while Cass took off everything but her panties and then she returned the favor, but completely undressed the other woman.

  Cass gave Em a longing look then gathered her in close and walked her backward toward the bed.

  The heat of the taller woman’s body made Emmie groan. As Cass followed her down and covered her body with her own, she lost herself in what she was feeling.

  CHAPTER 18

  Wednesday, December 7th

  Emmie gave herself the once over in the mirror. She blew out a breath and contemplated the image she saw. She could see dark circles under her eyes. All the sleep in the world won’t relieve this stress.

  She sighed, turned and stepped into her shoes, always the last thing she put on before facing a day on her feet, corralling young children and trying to teach them everything they needed to know to pass on to the next grade.

  Cass called out from the kitchen, “I’m out the door, Em. You better shake a leg too, if you don’t want to be late.”

  She stepped around the corner in time for the last couple of words and smiled at Cass as she stepped into her boots. “I love you.”

  Cass grinned at her and said, “I love you too. Now, since you’re done fussing and primping for those pre-teen students of yours, how about a kiss goodbye for me?”

  “Of course.” Emmie moved over to the taller woman and grinned as she knocked her Stetson back with a couple of fingers then leaned toward her with fish lips for a kiss.

  Emmie made a face. “How about a proper kiss to start the day?” She took hold of the sides of the Carhartt jacket Cass wore and pulled her toward her.

  Cass dipped her head and touched her lips to Emmie’s

  Emmie wished they could stay this way for hours, but all too soon, it was over. They both had work to do.

  Moments later, she was settled into her car to make the drive to Sweetwater. She tried to count in her head, how many more times she would drive West for work instead of East, to Abilene. She’d given notice to the administration at the school. She wondered how long it would be before word of her departure circulated. That got her thinking about her move. She hadn’t informed the administration that she’d moved out of Sweetwater and given them her new address.

  Just wait till word gets out where I’m living and who I’m living with. That could get ugly. She shook her head. Think positive! Don’t worry about what those people think. Worry about yourself, Cass and getting settled in. Worry about Seth…not about them. Nothing I say or do is going to change their minds about anything anyway.

  Cass slammed the post hole diggers into the ground one more time. Her lips set in a grim line, she glanced down the length of the fence. It was the third time this week a bull had tried to knock through to get to the cows and had a post loose. She was tired of fixing fence.

  She let her mind wander to other things. The term was almost over at school. Soon, Emmie wouldn’t be in class anymore. She’d have the data she needed to support the defense of her Master’s Thesis and she’d be preparing even harder for that.

  Other things were moving faster than she expected too. I like having her around, and I’m sure it will be better for her once Seth is here full time too. I just wonder how Seth is going to handle it all.

  Though she didn’t dare say it out loud, or even think it around Emmie, Cass wondered if Trudy Oakes was poisoning the pot, filling Seth’s head full of nonsense about moving and losing all of his friends.

  She sighed as her mind continued to wander, alighting on her grandmother, as it often did. Her mobility issues were becoming a bigger concern. She decided she’d try and talk with her about it at lunch and this time she wasn’t she wasn’t going to let the stubborn old woman give her the brush off.

  “It’s good chili, Gran.”

  “Not too spicy? You know I just don’t taste it right these days.”

  Cass shook her head. “It’s just right.” When Rosa Lute turned to tend to the pot on the stove, Cass took a big bite of cornbread to try and cool the heat of the chili peppers.

  “It’s cool out there today,” her grandmother was saying. “Wanted to make something to warm you up.”

  “You don’t have to make me lunch. I usually pack something along with me, you know?”

  The old woman flipped a hand at her dismissively. “Leftovers or a sandwich. Nothing fresh made, from scratch.”

  Cass started to tell her that about the amazing chicken casserole Emmie had concocted the previous night, but she thought better of it. That was a battle for another day. Instead she asked, “Are you going to eat?”

  Rosa hobbled about, using t
he counter tops for support, not answering.

  “Gran, sit and eat with me. Take a load off and let’s talk.”

  The older woman stopped midway between the stove and the refrigerator and gave Cass a look as she braced her hands on the back of a chair. “About what?” Her look and tone were suspicious.

  Cass realized she hadn’t thought a good approach all the way through. The old woman was sharp. She’d see right through any attempt to soften things or hide what she was really thinking. She plunged ahead. “About the ranch, Gran. What we’re doing. What we’ve been doing.”

  Rosa sat. “What’s wrong now?”

  “Nothing’s wrong. Everything is going pretty well.” Other than a couple of horny bulls… “It’s just, I’m concerned about your health and how much you can really do. You’re barely getting around.”

  Rosa started to rise.

  “Don’t get up. I know what you’re doing. You’re going to say that everything is fine, it’s just the chill in the air. It’s not though, is it?”

  The older woman looked away but then turned back and leaned across the table toward her granddaughter. “I’m not getting any younger, you know? It’s been a hard life, working this spread, all these years. I admit, I’ve lost a step or two, but I’m not ready to be put out to pasture yet.”

  Cass groaned inwardly. “That’s not what I’m saying. What I’m getting at is, Jimmy’s got half a year of school left. In all honesty, he’s not ready to take over the day to day stuff that I do now, when he does finish and, admit this, you can’t help. We can’t afford to hire any hands other than maybe someone to come in during baling season. We’ve got this big plan to bring a wind energy program here and have me run that but then what? Who runs what’s left of your ranch and mine while he’s still mired in his learning curve and his attitude?”

  “You don’t want the windmills, now?”

  “I didn’t say that.” Cass rubbed the stress knot at the back of her neck, her lunch getting cold in front of her, forgotten. “What I’m saying is, between the two ranches, as they are right now, with me and Jimmy doing all the work, we’ll eat and make enough to pay the bills. Being in the wind energy program would be a nice income for the family, but at the cost of keeping Jimmy on track and of almost all of your tillable, grazable land. Is that what you really want?”

  Rosa put her hands flat against the table and looked Cass in the eye as she spoke. “It’s hard for me, with my health, yes. That’s why I want to do this. I’ve thought long and hard about it. I want to make sure to have the money to not be a burden as my health declines even more.”

  Cass felt horrible. She reached out for her grandmother’s hand. “You’re not a burden to anyone, and you never will be.”

  “That thought aside, there’s also the fact that I want something to leave to you kids. You, your sister, your sister’s kids and any kids you may…maybe someday, have.” The old woman raised a hand to stop Cass from speaking. “I know what you’re going to say but hear me out. You love that woman, I get that. She has a child. The two of you may want more. Lord knows, there’s dozens of ways to come about putting a family together these days that don’t involve men. I don’t pretend to understand it, but it is what it is.”

  Cass was shocked, but she recovered quickly. “I was about to say that it isn’t necessary to leave me anything. I have what I need, and Emmie and her son will be well taken care of.”

  The old woman shook her head. “You don’t understand child. It’s what your grandfather wanted; his dying wish. He wanted to see the family provided for. Ranching isn’t going to get us very far now-a-days; not without him. Wind will.”

  CHAPTER 19

  Thursday, December 8th

  As the last of her students filed into the lunchroom, Emmie turned on her heels and made a beeline for the teacher’s lounge. She’d missed breakfast in the mad scramble to find her keys. Her stomach rumbled the whole time she’d tried to teach her young charges long division in the last period.

  She could hear the hum of conversation as she approached the lounge. She walked in smiling and looked around at all the faces. The room grew quiet. Everyone looked her way and then away.

  Emmie felt the heat rise up her neck and across her cheeks. Knowing they’d been talking about her, she spun toward the refrigerator and tried to hide her embarrassed blush.

  She heard a couple of the others get up and leave, their breaks over. She grabbed the bag with her sandwich in it and turned to face the remaining members of the group.

  As she contemplated whether to take a seat at the table or in one of the easy chairs on the opposite wall, her friend and fellow fourth grade teacher, Patrice entered the room.

  “Hey,” Patrice addressed her first, “just getting in here too?” She rambled on before Emmie could say anything. “I swear, I’m going to put out collection jars at the stores for lunch money donations. If one more kid forgets…”

  Emmie shook her head no, but she smiled. “I don’t think they’re the forgetful ones.”

  Patrice headed toward the easy chairs and Emmie followed.

  While Emmie unwrapped her turkey on wheat, Patrice opened the little cooler bag she kept in her desk drawer and started to remove her own food, but her eyes were on her coworker. “So, tell me; is the rumor true?”

  Eyebrows raised, Emmie felt the blush creeping back. She didn’t dare look at the teachers still sitting around the table, listening to every word. “I…I…what rumor is that?”

  “You know; the one where you’re leaving us at the end of this school year.” Patrice asked.

  “Oh. You heard.”

  “Um hmm. So, where are you headed? Please don’t tell me you’re leaving teaching. You’re too good at it.”

  “I’m not. I’ll uh, be finished with my master’s by the break, other than my thesis. Then I’ll be teaching college level math at the little branch campus Texas Tech has in Abilene for pre-med students.”

  “College? Wow! There’s a switch.”

  The mummers among the others in the room picked back up then. Emmie knew that her leaving or where she was going hadn’t been the original topic of conversation. Now they just had more fuel for the speculative fire.

  Patrice gave her a look.

  Emmie looked away, but she caught Patrice’s whispered, “There’s more to it, isn’t there?” loud and clear.

  She whispered back, “Later.”

  Patrice ducked into the restroom, leaving Emmie to walk back to the fourth-grade hallway alone. “Em, wait up,” Barbara Shone, called out. She touched Emmie’s shoulder as she came alongside and leaned in.

  “I know why you’re really leaving.”

  Emmie gave her a look but didn’t respond.

  “You’re with a…a woman now, right? I mean, it’s not my business and it’s not anybody else’s business either, but word’s floating around, you know?”

  “You’re right. My personal life isn’t anyone’s business.”

  Barbara dropped her hand. “Hey, I’m on your side here, okay?” She smiled and gave Emmie a little nod.

  Emmie let out a heavy breath then whispered back, “That’s not why I’m leaving, Barb. I’ve always wanted to teach college.”

  The other woman leaned closer again. “Here’s the thing; I don’t know what the Principal knows or doesn’t know, but…watch your back, you know? He’s not going to be on your side.”

  “What’s the worst he can do? I’ve already resigned. I’m done at the end of the school year.”

  “That’s just it. Remember that morals clause you signed when you started with the district?” She didn’t wait for an answer. “You wouldn’t be the first teacher they drummed over the head and out with it.”

  “You just passed me dear. I was coming out of the salon.”

  “In the middle of the day, Mama?”

  “Ronald Brownman’s calling hours are this evening. Did you forget?”

  Of course. Any public appearance meant Trudy had to look ju
st so. “Oh. No, no. I’ll be there to pay my respects.”

  “I figured you’d just stay in town, maybe come out to spend some time with Seth, before the viewing.”

  “I’m not taking Seth to the viewing, Mama. It would traumatize him and, besides, he barely knew the man.”

  “That’s not what I meant.”

  I know what you meant.

  “I thought we could talk a little more about Christmas too. Make some plans.”

  “We’ve talked about that.”

  “Well, things have changed since then. We’ve got a couple of more people coming to spend Christmas Eve now. Your aunt and uncle will be in from Arizona. They’ll want to spend time with you.”

  “They haven’t wanted to in years. They’ve never even met Seth Junior.”

  Her mother blew out a heavy breath. “Why do you have to be so difficult?”

  CHAPTER 20

  Cass eyed Emmie all through dinner, knowing something was bothering her, but she didn’t dare ask until Jimmy was done and out of earshot.

  “You put on a brave face, all through dinner, but you seem awfully low. What’s up?” Cass asked her when the teenager had rinsed his plate and gone on his way.

  Emmie shrugged. “It’s nothing…nothing you or I can do anything about, anyway.”

  “Your mom, again?”

  She tipped her head and gave Cass a sidelong look. “Her too, now that you mention it, but her guilt trips are nothing compared to everything else.”

  “Em, tell me.”

  Emmie told Cass about what happened at school. “And then, to make matters worse, like you figured, I had another go around with Mama about Christmas over the phone, on my way home. She’s upset, railing on about how the big family Christmas Eve bash is going by the wayside because of me leaving and me taking Seth away and over Cora being so upset with her over her inability to accept what’s happened. She just goes on and on. I’m supposed to go to calling hours for an old family friend tonight. Even under the best of circumstances, I don’t want to, but, to make it worse...”