Conflicted (Secrets and Lies)

by Koenig, M. M.

  "I swear your mouth kills me at times."

  Ethan chuckled then paused taking a deep breath. I held mine letting the butterflies in my stomach take over.

  "What is one of your favorite memories of your past that you feel changed your life?" he asked softly.

  I let out a huge sigh. "I would have to say that it would be my first day of junior high."

  "Will you tell me the story and why you feel like it changed your life forever?"

  "Bri and I have been inseparable since we met in junior high. We ended up having lockers next to each other. We quickly came to realize that we were in most of the same advanced classes together and played on the same sports teams. We were both outspoken and a little on the wild side so it was easy for us to get to know each other. She's like a sister to me."

  "She sounds like a very important part of your life," Ethan whispered.

  "She is but so are the other people that I live with. They have a very special place in my heart," I conceded.

  I felt a strange sense of peace sharing this with him.

  "It's your turn," he spoke up.

  "What is your relationship to your family?"

  I dug my fingers into the comforter. It made me uneasy to ask him at all. Ethan sat silent on the other end for a long time before letting out a forced breath.

  "It's complicated," he replied in a very strained tone. "My father died several years ago. I never got a long with him. I've remained at the company as a dying wish to my mother."

  My heart throbbed knowing that Ethan lost someone that dear to him. It was clear in his tone that he held her in high regard and was still mourning her loss.

  "Same question to you," Ethan probed.

  I dropped the comforter and began twirling a piece of hair. "The people I live with are my family."

  "I meant your real family Mia," he pressed.

  "I only have my uncle as far as blood lines are concerned," I replied stiffly.

  "By the tone in your voice, I assume you're not close to him."

  "No, he took me in out of obligation when I was four. I hardly know the man."

  We sat in an awkward silence when I took my turn before he pried even more on that question. I would veto anything he asked regarding my parents.

  "What is your secret for keeping up that amazing body of yours?"

  A hearty laugh rumbled from his chest sending a wave of relief through me. I didn't want to get stuck on a subject that would bring this conversation down. This crazy idea was turning out better than I anticipated. We were finally learning things about each other.

  "I work out every day. I start my day in the gym whether it is at my place or at the office."

  My mind drifted to his naked body making me lick my lips. I was fighting the desire within me as it strongly pressed to be next to him getting hot and sweaty.

  "My turn and I'm going to play on your sexed up feelings," he teased.

  It frustrates me that he is that in tune with my thoughts. God only knows what he'll ask me.

  "What's the kinkiest thing you've ever said or done?" Ethan asked and quickly continued, "And you can't use the other night."

  I flushed thinking about that particular answer. As audacious as my actions were the other night, it wasn't my answer. "I'm going to use my veto on that one so you will have to let your mind wander on it."

  "Typical. Do I at least get another question since you vetoed?"

  I rolled my eyes. "Pouting does not become you Ethan so quit it. I'll give you another question since I'm sure you are nowhere near done whining."

  "How'd you know I was pouting?"

  I beamed. "What's your question?"

  "What are two of your secret talents that you don't share with people?"

  "I know how to hot wire a car and pick any lock imaginable," I confessed.

  "Very devious and good to know," he mused.

  "Indeed. Name one thing on your bucket list."

  "Joining the mile high club," he chuckled.

  "Interesting...that's on my list too," I remarked.

  "If you could have one superpower, what would it be and why?" Ethan asked.

  "I'd love to be able to control the elements. The possibilities are endless," I joked.

  "In your opinion, what is the difference between sex and making love?" I asked.

  He could veto this one or make me decide if it was a serious question. My heart sped up as my mind raced curious as ever at what he'd say.

  "I've had plenty of sex in my life. I didn't realize there was a difference until this past weekend. I've only made love with one person and the difference can't be measured or described by any word that I know," he answered softly.

  My heart stopped beating. It took several minutes for me to comprehend his answer as well as maintain my body's functionality. He took a deep breath as if to regain his composure from sharing something that deep.

  "I guess I'm not the only one that has a way with words. You sure know what to say when you want to Ethan," I whispered.

  "I only say what I mean Mia. If you could pick one song that defines your life, what song would it be?"

  A gush of air passed through me. I decided to go with a lighthearted answer. It would give him somewhat of an idea about how I felt about him and it certainly fit our situation. As much as I denied it, I was in love with him. My heart confirmed it by beating even faster.

  "Bleeding Love, Leona Lewis," I answered.

  "I'm going to have to listen to that one. It's been awhile since I've heard it."

  "I'm going to ask you the same question."

  "Everything, Lifehouse," Ethan said in a nanosecond.

  "Mia, I know we're out of questions but I want you to know that you're the only one."

  "What do you mean?" I rasped. My voice was unwilling to work as my heart fluttered sending hopeful waves throughout my entire body. My stomach knotted together as I recalled the depth of the song he selected.

  "You're the only girl I've ever wanted to make a part of my life. I don't take chances on people. I'm sure you can relate. But with you, I took a leap of faith. I've watched you from afar and swooped in at any chance I had to learn more about you."

  The walls around my heart rattled at a deafening tone. Try as I might to keep him out, Ethan had cracked almost all of them in such a short period. I closed my eyes completely stunned. What did I have that he couldn't get from another girl? He was gorgeous and I was nothing short of a hot mess on a good day. He had no idea what he was getting into by pursuing me.

  Why me?

  "Did you just ask me why I want you?" Ethan asked.

  "Uh...not intentionally. Apparently, my filter is on a side bar so that particular thought flew out without being able to be pulled back," I responded wholly embarrassed.

  "I like when that happens. It's a refreshing change to get your thoughts as they come to you. I want you because I love what I see in your eyes and what I hear in your thoughts along with how strongly you carry yourself," he admitted.

  "Are you saying I'm yours?" I asked in astonishment.

  "You've been mine since the second our eyes met," Ethan responded unwaveringly.

  "I remember that moment. Your eyes blew me away. I thought that they were an invitation to find out all of life's secrets."

  His breath faltered as he asked, "Have you found out any of those secrets yet?"

  "I've never seen myself or my life more clearly than I have when I'm with you so maybe the secret to my life has always been you," I whispered.

  My heart oscillated right out of my chest as I gave him another piece of me.

  Ethan gasped. "I've never heard you be so open before Mia."

  "You were the one that asked me to distract you so that you wouldn't touch me. Consider this part of the distraction," I responded wryly.

  I listened as he took slow breaths. Whatever happened to us going forward, I had to believe in my heart that sharing as much as we did tonight might just be enough to save us. I wanted t
o believe it. I was desperate to believe it. I needed him. As I hoped for the best, my phone started to beep.

  "My phone is going to die soon. I should go to bed since I need to be up in a few hours."

  My stomach twitched feeling uneasy at all the things that I needed to do when it came to him and me. He deserved to know so much more about me. We lingered on the line. After plenty of heated breaths, I exhaled slowly making the move to end the call.

  "Good night Ethan."

  "I'm glad you called Mia. Good night."

  I wanted to stay on the line with him for the rest of the night talking about anything and everything. The walls around my heart collapsed tonight. I wanted to tell him everything about me. I didn't want another secret to linger between us.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

  The following morning I dressed in a rush not giving a damn about the clothes. I left the house wanting to get this part of my day past me. I got downtown and found a parking spot without issue. I went to Harrison's office going over my decision in my head from every angle possible. Before entering his office, I grabbed my phone and selected the application that would record our conversation. I pressed record, tossed my phone back into my purse, and took a calming breath before opening the door.

  "Mia, come in," Harrison greeted.

  My guard up went up once I saw him. His legs were on the desk with his hands rested against the armrest of his chair. The coldness in his eyes made my heart pound erratically.

  "Thanks for meeting with me on short notice," I said, taking a seat across from him.

  "Did you find out something substantial to bring you into the office?"

  "No, I haven't found out anything that will help your work," I admitted.

  I started fidgeting with the strap on my purse to keep my fingers busy.

  "Why did you want to meet today?" Harrison asked harshly.

  "I'm here to let you know that I'm stepping out. This isn't right for me."

  His brow crinkled and his face darkened. My throat tightened preparing for a blowback.

  "I see," he said, giving me a calculated stare that sent shivers up my spine.

  I should've never believed anything that this man had to offer me.

  "I'm very sorry. I don't think I'll raise any flags by leaving their company. I'm sure you'll be able to find someone that is better qualified to get what you need."

  My palms started to sweat as the anxiety surged forward through every nerve ending.

  "You being sorry doesn't really matter. I can't force you to stay but I'll remind you that I've been privy to everything you've been up to while you were there. It would be a shame for that information to fall into the wrong hands," he threatened.

  "What are you exactly saying? Are you going to blow the cover if I walk away?"

  Harrison smiled smugly. "You're a smart individual. It's a shame you threw that intelligence out the window when you got involved with one of the more prominent people within that company."

  "You're blackmailing me," I concluded.

  I shook my head at my own stupidity. Harrison drummed his fingers against each other.

  "I wouldn't call it blackmail. Every good executive has insurance Mia. I've had more than one set of eyes and ears there for me. It's been curious the things that you've withheld from me."

  "I haven't withheld anything from you," I snapped.

  My stomach turned to ice. I hated every ounce of myself for thinking that jumping into cahoots with him would benefit me. The hard look in his eyes ran through me making the ice in my stomach spread throughout my entire body.

  "I find it interesting that you didn't admit to spending an exponential amount of time with the senior vice president," Harrison seethed.

  "The time I've spent with him outside of that place has nothing to do with me wanting to step out," I said, curling my hands into tight fists.

  My nerves were wavering as my anger started to rise. Harrison raised an all too knowing eyebrow sending a combination of rage and fear up my spine.

  "I think it has everything to do with it," he argued.

  He knows too much about my personal life. How?

  "I want to leave because I can't do it. I told you from the beginning that I wasn't sure if I could do it. This isn't anything new," I disputed.

  My anger dissipated as terror replaced it in waves. I considered the things Harrison was capable of. He was more deceitful than I imagined. I didn't trust him from the start. I should've gone with that feeling.

  "You can't bullshit a bullshitter. This has everything to do with Ethan," he rebutted.

  "It has nothing to do with him," I shot back.

  "If it had nothing to do with him, you would've mentioned several weeks ago that you overheard a very important conversation. I do believe that we are on the precipice of the owners delivering a certain amount of retribution soon are we not," Harrison challenged.

  How the hell does he know that I overheard conversation?!

  "I didn't say anything about that because it was a circumstantial conversation. I couldn't even bring into context whether it had anything to do with their company. It could've been them talking about the weather as far as I was concerned."

  "I'm not going to sit here and debate this with you Mia. I'll give you a new deal."

  "I'm done making deals with you," I said evenly.

  Harrison rolled his fingers together with an amused expression on his face. My chest tightened even more and I narrowed my eyes to maintain my composure.

  "Oh, I think you'll want to make this deal with me. If you know what's good for you and the people you care about anyway," he warned.

  His tone was similar to a high-pitched laugh like you saw in the movies. Just the mention of my friends being in danger tweaked my fear higher than I thought it could go. It was my worst fears slapping me across my face. My subconscious began poking at every part of my brain screaming obscenities at me for not listening to my inner self from the get go.

  "What do you want?" I asked.

  "I want you at this exchange. I feel that it is the last piece of the puzzle. After that meeting occurs, your obligation to me will be over. I won't interfere in your life again and I won't expose what you were doing for me." Harrison paused, giving me a hard stare. "Should you decide to go against this offer, you'll find that your life will become more miserable than anything that happened to you last year including having your pathetic boyfriend leave you after he destroyed your academic reputation."

  Well, done Mia. You aligned yourself with someone who is the devil incarnate and he's nailed you to the wall to get what he wants. Great job!

  "You're telling me that if I don't do this that you'll start hurting the people around me. Do you have any more threats for me or is that it?"

  My heart dropped to my knees as my stomach began to churn. Harrison rolled his eyes.

  "I know you're recording this so you can just hit stop. Do you really think you stand a chance against a powerful man like me? Your efforts are admirable but you'll never be able to take me down so you should stop trying to fight me now," Harrison cautioned.

  His eyes came together in a squint exhibiting how very evil he really was on the inside. I pulled my phone from my purse and pressed stop. I flashed it at him so he ceased the threats.

  "You've been using me this entire time. Why?"

  He chuckled in a high maniacal tone. "You have the quality that I needed to get me what I want that no other person will ever be able to do for me."

  "And what's that special quality?" I asked, irritated.

  "Desperation. It's a powerful thing. I offered you something that I knew you couldn't refuse. You sit here now with the same desperation. Only this time, you're desperate for those around you rather than yourself."

  I glared at him. "What if I just walk away all together? What are you saying?"

  "You'll be sorry you ever crossed me. If you think that where you're at is dangerous, you'll think again after I'm through with you," he a
dvised.

  He gave me a heinous look to drive his point home and it left me trembling in my seat.

  "If I make sure I'm at this meeting, you swear you won't hurt anyone. You'll go your way and I'll go mine," I said, twisting my fingers to prevent myself from having a meltdown.

  "Yes, you finish this out for me, we'll part ways, and you'll never hear from me again," Harrison replied amicably.

  "Fine you have a deal," I agreed, fighting the rising vomit.

  The old saying is true. If something sounds too good to be true, it probably is.

  "Oh and Mia, please thank your boyfriend for giving me such a wonderful piece to work with when he approached me to help him take down his father's company," Harrison goaded.

  His eyes twinkled at the pot he was stirring by bringing up Ethan. My hearted dropped completely taken aback at the idea of Ethan being involved with Harrison.

  "Why would he do that?"

  "I don't ask for those kinds of details from my sources. If you want those closest to you to remain safe, I'd keep this entire meeting between us."

  "Did Ethan know all along why I'm there?"

  My stomach squelched and my throat tightened making each breath a struggle. My body was ready to explode between the fear and anger within me.

  "No, Ethan believes you're there to work for him. The other individual I placed within the company is who he believes is there to collect information for me. He happened to take notice to what was going on with you and Ethan. He kept me abreast of the situation as well as all the other details you were neglecting to report."

  "Why would you put two people there and not tell him? It doesn't make any sense. What sick and twisted game are you playing?"

  "I'm deliberate in everything that I do as I work for the outcome I envision," Harrison said with a calculated swipe of the hand across his desk.

  "All I heard is that you manipulate people in the worst ways to get what you want. Since you are the master manipulator, how do you suggest I get an invitation to this meeting without tipping off why I want it," I snapped through gritted teeth.

  "I'm sure you'll figure out a way."

  "It sounds like you know more about this meeting than what you're telling me."