Promise Me Always

by Kari March

  “Yeah, I guess.” He slouched and hopped off the treadmill. “How are you holding up by the way? Have you talked to Tess at all?”

  When he said her name, it felt like a knife was inserted directly into my chest. I had managed to forget her for the last fifteen minutes and then, just like that, all the despair and emptiness consumed me again. Lucky for me, I was running steady now and couldn’t catch my breath to answer Cam. I shook my head no and he left the room. I sped up the treadmill so I was at a full-on sprint, trying to lose myself in my workout.

  It had been two days, fourteen hours and twenty two minutes since he walked away from me. Two days, fourteen hours and twenty two minutes since he tore my heart out. And I was absolutely devastated.

  I had spent the last two days trying to put the pieces of my fragmented heart back together, but every time I got a section figured out, memories of that night would shatter it all over again. Blake was the only person that would ever be able to put the pieces back together and I didn’t know if I would ever see him again. He had made his decision. He didn’t want me.

  I had been sulking around my apartment for the past two days, unwilling to leave. I wasn’t ready to face the real world and there was no way I was going to risk running into Blake. Palmer had stopped by twice, trying to get me to go shopping with her, but I wouldn’t budge. Lexi was kind enough to retrieve my car from Blake’s house the day before and, when she dropped it off, I couldn’t help but ask if she had seen him.

  Unfortunately, she hadn’t, but Devin had told her that Blake was brooding around the house like a baby one minute and punching walls the next. The fact that he was as miserable as me put a small smile on my face for a moment… and then confusion set in. I couldn’t understand why he would be so distressed. After all, he was the one that left me. Before he interrupted me and ruined everything, I was about to open up to him—lay all my cards down and tell him I loved him. That was something that petrified me beyond belief, but I was willing to do it for him. And he just walked away.

  Maybe he was having a change of heart—maybe he still wanted me and just felt bad for everything that had happened. I knew he had been drunk that night, so there was a possibility, I hoped, that his mind had cleared as the alcohol left his system. Either way, I wasn’t going to chase him. If he wanted me, then he was going to have to come to me. I had already put my heart on the line and he smashed it into a thousand different pieces.

  I finally decided to get up and try to get back to regular life, even though I knew it was going to be hard. I had gotten ready, feeling brave. I was heading out the door, when my phone started ringing. I looked down and saw Cara’s bubbly smile pop up on the screen.

  “Hello,” I said into the phone.

  “Hey. What are you doing?” She didn’t sound like her usual spunky self.

  “Just heading out to… well, actually, I don’t really know where I’m going. What’s up?” I asked.

  “I just called the spa to see if they had any openings today and they do. Want to come with me? I have the auction package, so it won’t cost you a dime. I could really use a relaxing afternoon.”

  “Hell yes! I would love to do that,” I squealed.

  “Perfect. I really need some girl time,” she said, hesitating. “I broke up with Cam yesterday.” I could hear the defeat in her voice.

  “Oh no, Cara! What happened?” I questioned, feeling her pain. I knew Cara really liked Cam and he must have done something pretty bad for her to break up with him.

  I could tell she was fighting back the tears as she spoke. “I… I’m just so scared he is going to hurt me. So I ended it before he could.” She took a deep breath. “I’ll tell you all about it at the spa though. Meet me there in twenty?”

  “Sure thing, lady. See you soon.” I hung up and headed down to my car.

  Two and a half hours later I was completely tranquil. After a full body sugar scrub treatment and a very soothing, stress relieving, hour long Swedish massage, I almost felt like myself again. Cara and I were sitting in the most comfortable chairs on Earth as two women scrubbed and polished our toes. I don’t think I have ever felt as relaxed as I did in that moment. I had almost forgotten everything that had brought my world crashing down around me.

  “So, spill it, lady. What’s going on with you and Cam?” We were finally at a point in the spa day where we could talk and she wasn’t getting out of this one. I needed details.

  “Everything is such a mess! Cam is just so scared of commitment,” she said, looking at the floor. “I knew he would eventually get scared and end it, so I just did him a favor. I mean he won’t even meet my parents, for fuck sakes! I just can’t be in a relationship that isn’t going anywhere, you know? Especially when I liked him so much…” She closed her eyes and rubbed her temples slowly, as if she were warding off a headache. “And I’m pretty sure he’s still in love with his ex, Amber.”

  “What? Why do you say that?” I asked, totally in shock. I hadn’t known Cara and Cam for very long, but I could tell by the way they interacted and looked at each other that they were made for each other.

  “Amber was Cam’s high school sweetheart and, after graduation, she took off for college. They tried the whole long distance thing for a while, but in the end, it just didn’t work. So they ended it. He talks about her all the time and it has been over two years since they broke up. I mean, isn’t that just strange?” She looked at me with irritation and hurt in her eyes. I could tell that, although she broke up with him, she wasn’t happy about it. Self-preservation at its’ finest.

  “Yeah, a little, I guess. But just because he talks about her a lot, it doesn’t mean he’s still in love with her. You can love someone and not be in love with them,” I reasoned. “Do you know if she was his first love? I only ask because sometimes it’s really hard to let go of that until something better comes along and, even then, it can take time.” I looked at her sympathetically.

  I could see the tears starting to build in her eyes. Just the thought of Cam loving someone else was hurting her and that alone told me how much she loved him.

  “Yes, she was,” she finally replied, “and she was at Matt’s party.”

  “Come again? Wait, I thought she moved away? Is she back for good then?” I questioned her, totally confused. The ladies finally finished our feet and we were now sitting alone, waiting for our toes to dry. It took Cara a second to actually get the nerve up to speak. I could tell she was in pain.

  “Yep, she told Cam that she got a job offer here and moved back last week. God, you should have seen how happy he was when he saw her,” she closed her eyes, a pained look on her face. “I felt like a complete idiot standing there while they caught up. He didn’t even introduce me to her! Can you believe that? I had to take the initiative and do it myself,” she shook her head. “Eventually, I just excused myself and went inside. I couldn’t take it anymore.” I saw a tear escape and roll down her face and I couldn’t help but reach across the chair and take her hand in mine. I squeezed it gently, letting her know I was there for her and then she started to break down. “I don’t know what to do! I think I love him, but I don’t want to be second place. The way he looked at her ripped me apart. I figured it would be easier for both of us if I just got out of the way but, now that I did it, I think it may have been a mistake.”

  I didn’t know what to say. She was hurting and I didn’t have one good word of advice for her. I said the only thing I could think of, something my mom used to tell us when we were younger, “Sometimes when you love someone you have to let them go. If they come back to you, they were always yours. And if they don’t, then they were never yours to begin with. You just have to believe that he will always come back.”

  My own words rang loud in my ears and I knew I wasn’t just speaking about Cam and Cara. I knew I was talking about Blake, as well. I needed to take my own advice and believe that if it was meant to be—then we would be together. If he was really mine, then he would come back.
r />   “I hope you’re right, Tess.”

  Once Cara and I were done at the spa, I decided to drop by Palmer’s. I decided to call her first to make sure she was there. She was on her way home from work, but told me that Cole was there with Shane and that she would be home soon. She said she would call Cole and let him know I was on my way over.

  We hung up and I turned on the radio. “Without You” by David Guetta was playing and I couldn’t help but listen to the lyrics. I was feeling exactly what they were saying. I was lost and I knew nothing would ever be the same without Blake. He was my soul mate and I prayed right then that somehow we would end up together again, even if it wasn’t in this life. I knew it was only a matter of time before we would have to face each other. We shared the same friends and it was bound to happen.

  As I pulled onto the highway, I looked in my rear view mirror and noticed a black beamer behind me. The car was riding my ass and it was really starting to piss me off. I tapped my breaks a few times, trying to give the jerk a hint, but he wouldn’t back off. I could barely see the person behind the wheel because the windows were so dark. My phone chirped, alerting me to a new text. I opened the message from the unknown number.

  No one to protect u anymore… YOU ARE MINE!

  I threw my phone down on the seat and the hair on the back of my neck stood up. Jared!

  My phone chirped again and I hesitated before reaching for it. I didn’t want to see what it was, but my curiosity got the best of me. I opened the message and saw a picture of the back of my car.

  I froze.

  I felt like I was being suffocated and couldn’t breathe. All of the pieces came together, flashing in my mind like old projection slides—one memory after another. Jared was the one in the car! He had been following me and photographing me for the past three weeks. He was the one sitting in the parking lot the other night and he was there the night before the firefighter’s ball. Holy shit!

  I was snapped from my petrified state when a car horn blared next to me. I finally took a breath as I looked out my window. I swallowed hard as I stared into the unfamiliar, dark eyes of Jared. He had pulled the car up next to me and had the window down, motioning for me to pull over.

  I was getting ready to exit the highway and was about a mile from Cole and Palmer’s. I flipped Jared the bird and sped up, pulling ahead of him. Lucky for me, the light was green on the exit ramp and I flew around the corner, making a bee line to Palmer’s. I picked up my phone and dialed Shane’s number. I knew he was with Cole and they could meet me in the parking lot and make sure Jared didn’t do anything stupid.

  My anxiety grew with each unanswered ring. Come on! Pick up Shane! Jared was now behind me again, still riding my ass as I changed lanes so I wouldn’t miss the turn to the apartment. Just as I crossed into the left lane, a car pulled in between Jared and me, effectively cutting him off. Jared laid on his horn and I was a little relieved that he was that much further away.

  “Hello,” Shane finally answered.

  “Shane, it’s Tess! Are you with Cole?” I asked, my voice shaky from all of the adrenaline.

  “Yeah, why? Is something wrong?” He sounded worried.

  “It’s Jared! I’m about two minutes from Cole’s and Jared is following me. He’s crazy, Shane!” I said as fear started to take over. “Please! Can you guys meet me in the parking lot? I don’t know what he is going to do.” I was starting to panic.

  “Fuck yeah! Finally, we get to beat that fucker’s ass!” He sounded excited, and even though I was scared shitless, I laughed a bit.

  “Please hurry, Shane! I will be there in just a minute.” I hung up and looked in my rear view mirror. Jared was now a few cars behind me, thanks to traffic trying to weave in and out of the lanes. I only had one more light to make it through before I was able to turn into the apartment complex. As I approached the light, I prayed that it would stay green so I could keep moving.

  Fucking shit!

  The light turned red and I was forced to stop when the car in front of me didn’t go through. I looked behind me and saw Jared quickly gaining. There was just one car that separated us and when the car moved into the turn lane next to me, my heart skipped a beat.

  Jared skidded to a stop behind my car and his door flew open. He got out and started jogging towards me. With every step he took, my breathing got shallower and my heart pounded harder. I reached over and locked my doors, pleading for the light to turn green so I could start moving again. When I went to look in my mirror again, he was next to my window.

  I turned and came face to face with him. He didn’t even look like himself. He had dark bags under his intense, murderous eyes—his brown hair was a mess and he hadn’t shaven in days.

  BAM!

  He pounded his fist against the glass as he tried to open the door.

  “Open the fucking door, Tess!” he snarled. People all around were staring, but no one got out of their car to approach the madman. All they could do was stare. I looked up and noticed the light was green. I laid on my horn urging the car ahead of me to move as Jared pounded on the glass again. “You can’t hide forever, baby,” he screamed through the window. “You. Are. Mine. And I will find you!”

  The car finally started to move and I pressed my foot to the gas pedal. Jared ran back to his car and continued to follow me. I finally made it to the apartment complex, holding my breath the entire time. When I rounded the corner to Palmer’s building, I could see Shane and Cole waiting for me. With clenched fists, they started walking my way when they saw Jared’s car pull around the corner behind me. I flew right past them and parked my car in Palmer’s designated spot in front of the building.

  I jumped out of the car and watched as Jared slammed on his breaks when he saw the guys. He threw the black car in reverse, his tires screeching on the pavement, as he backed away from Cole and Shane. He whipped his car around and quickly made his way out of the parking lot as Cole and Shane ran after him, trying to catch the car before it disappeared.

  Once his car was out of sight, my sobs broke free. I sank down to the ground and buried my head in my hands. I couldn’t believe what had just happened. Jared looked so deranged and he was completely out of his mind. I never thought he would be capable of doing something like this, but man, was I wrong. I was terrified and didn’t know what to do. I needed Blake.

  I picked up the phone to call him but just as I was about to hit ‘call’, I felt Shane’s arms snake around me, lifting me up into his arms. I draped my arm around his neck and nestled up against his chest. He carried my shaking, terrified body up the stairs and into the apartment, sitting me down on the couch.

  “What the fuck was that all about, Tess?” Shane asked me as Cole picked up his phone. I assumed he was calling Palmer to tell her what was going on.

  “He’s fucking crazy! He’s been stalking me ever since I broke it off with him. He’s been sending me these creepy text messages and pictures of Blake and me together. He’s even been parking outside my apartment at night.” I brought my knees up to my chest and hugged them tightly, trying to comfort myself.

  “Have you told anyone?” Shane questioned, pacing back and forth in the living room.

  “No, I didn’t think it was that serious,” I stated. Obviously, I was way wrong.

  “What?” Shane looked at me in disbelief. “Anyone that sits outside your apartment at night and follows you around has major issues. How can that not be serious?” He stopped pacing and just stared at me like I was a complete idiot for not doing something about the situation. Maybe I was naïve about the whole thing, but I really thought he was harmless.

  “I didn’t know it was him sitting outside my apartment until just now. It finally clicked when he sent me a picture of the back of my car.” I hung my head in shame. I didn’t know why it took me so long to figure it out. It was obvious it was him, but I was so blinded by everything else that was going on in my life, I didn’t see it.

  “Well, are you okay? You still look ter
rified… and you’re shaking. Do you need anything?” Shane’s tone eased up and he sat down next to me, unsure what to do.

  “I’ll be fine. I just wish Blake was here.”

  “Sorry, Tess. I heard what happened with you two.” He put his arm around me and pulled me closer. “If you want to talk about it, I’m here ya know.”

  “Thanks, Shane, but I don’t want to talk about it.” I stood and walked over to the fridge and grabbed a beer. I was still shaking as I raised the bottle to my lips and downed half of it.

  The door swung open and Palmer came rushing through the door. She ran straight to me and embraced me in a huge, comforting hug.

  “Crap, Tess! Are you alright?” she asked, scanning my face for any traces of harm.

  “Yeah, he didn’t hurt me. It was just scary,” I assured her. “He’s a lunatic! He got out of his car in the middle of traffic and punched my window! I’m surprised it didn’t break.” She released me and grabbed the beer out of my hand and finished it herself.

  “Holy shit, Tess! You need to call the cops!” she said. “I don’t want you going home until this is all figured out. You can stay here. I am not taking no for an answer, so don’t argue with me. We can all go to your house later so you can get some stuff,” she raised her eyebrows at me. “And tomorrow morning—you’re calling the cops.” She shook her finger in my face, just like our mother did when she was scolding us. I laughed a little at how much she reminded me of Mom. I knew there was no point in arguing with her, so I just said okay.

  Palmer and I spent the night talking and gossiping just like we used to when we both lived with our parents. It felt good to just talk to someone.

  We demolished two bottles of wine and a carton of ice cream as we talked about Blake and everything that had happened. I poured my soul out to her and it felt so good to get it everything off my chest, even though it was killing me inside to have to relive every moment. I was impressed with myself for opening up and telling her how I was feeling. She threatened to beat the shit out of Blake the next time she saw him and I made her promise not to touch him. It wouldn’t help anyway.