Finding Ever After

by Stephanie Hoffman McManus

  I was glad that I had already showered and put on a cute summer dress. I would have been mortified if he had showed up with her and I was still in my baggy t-shirt and cotton shorts with bed hair and last night’s make up. I thought I looked pretty cute in my dress, but then again, Kaylie had on another miniscule denim skirt and an extremely low cut tank top on, so I could have worn a garbage bag for all that it mattered.

  Kyden went right into the living room and grabbed Ace’s shoes from the floor and tossed them at him to wake him up. Ace just grumbled and threw them back.

  “Wake up asshole, I want to get back to the house and take a nap before we have to head to Lowell.”

  Ace grumbled some more, but pulled himself up off the couch. He had jeans on, but his chest was bare. Even though he didn’t make my heart race like Kyden did, I could still appreciate the sight, and it was a shame when he covered it up with the shirt he grabbed off the back of the couch. When I realized I had been staring at him I quickly looked away. Kyden was frowning at me and Kaylie had a scowl on her face as well, but that wasn’t unusual for her. Ace pressed a chaste kiss to the top of my head as he passed by me and disappeared into the bathroom.

  “I gotta take a piss too, can I use the bathroom upstairs?” Kyden asked gruffly. I nodded and he took the stairs two at a time, leaving me standing alone with Kaylie. To say that it was awkward and uncomfortable was an understatement. I tried not to make eye contact, because I could feel her scathing look without actually having to see it. I was just turning to head back in to the kitchen, when she had decided to open her mouth.

  “So this is your house?” She asked snidely.

  “Mmhmm.” I replied as neutrally as I could, hoping to discourage any further questions or comments.

  “It’s so … quaint and very Martha Stewart.” It shouldn’t have been an insult but it certainly came out sounding like one. “Just because someone subscribes to Better Homes and Gardens doesn’t make them an interior decorator.” She snickered. “You should really consider losing all the tacky arts and crafts. Do-it-yourself really isn’t for everyone.”

  I had to bite down in my tongue to keep from ripping into her. It wasn’t her fault that she didn’t know about this place and my mom. I would give her the benefit of the doubt that she wouldn’t actually stoop that low if she did.

  “My mom made most of it. The projects were more about having fun for her and trying something new, than worrying about perfection.” I hoped that would be enough to get her to let it go.

  “That’s pretty obvious. She’s dead though right? So it’s not like you have to pretend to like it anymore. Unless you actually think it looks good? I guess it would make sense. You had to get your patheticness from somewhere.” I was speechless. How could she make light of my mom like that? I didn’t even have words for what I wanted to express to her.

  Her face twisted into a satisfied grin. She must have seen whatever she’d hoped to achieve, on my face. How could Kyden not see how completely hideous this girl was? There was no way he could be that blind, but if he did see, how could he stand to have anything to do with her, let alone bring her into my house? He had already witnessed her biting remarks directed at me so he had to realize we would never be friends.

  I could handle the insults and shots she took at me, but hearing her attack my mother, someone she had never even met, who was the most amazing and loving person in the entire world, was not something I could handle. At all. I wasn’t going to sink to her level though, she was baiting me. All I wanted was to get out of this room and away from her before I cracked and let her see just how deeply she had managed to twist the knife in.

  When I turned to leave the room Ace was standing just outside the living room with a stunned look on his face. He must have overheard at least some of our exchange as his expression quickly turned to anger. I was sure he was about to go off on Kaylie, but I shook my head at him. If she knew how much she’d gotten to me, it would only give her more ammunition later.

  I just wanted her out of my house and away from every single piece of my mother that I had left. I passed Ace, who tried to reach out for my arm, but I shook him off. I tried to keep the tears out of my eyes as I climbed the stairs, but it was a struggle. Kyden was about to go down when I made it to the top.

  I didn’t bother looking up at him, and just mumbled a quick, “congratulations on the record label. Good luck at your show tonight.” Only it came out more like “Congralationsonrecorlabel. G’luckatshownight.” I brushed right past him, into my room and shut the door behind me. I was trying not to take my anger at Kaylie out on him, but I couldn’t help hold him responsible for her. A tiny part of me might also have been scared that he would choose her over me if I confronted him about it. Sex or friendship? With him it was hard not to be afraid of what choice he would make.

  Chapter 25

  I really hope she doesn’t slam the door in my face.

  My stomach was in knots as I waited outside Bas and Lissa’s apartment. I knew she was home, I just hoped she would listen to what I had to say. I heard footsteps inside and steeled myself for the confrontation that was about to happen. When the door finally opened, Lissa looked about as happy to see me as I thought she would be.

  Her face also hinted that she had been handling the separation just as well as Bas. She looked like she had lost a little weight and there definitely wasn’t any light in her narrowed eyes. There were bags and dark circles underneath them and everything about the way she was carrying herself indicated exhaustion.

  “What are you doing here? Haven’t you already got what you wanted? What more could you possibly take from me?” Her tone wasn’t angry or harsh, just dejected.

  “I didn’t come here to take anything. I never took anything from you to begin with.” I countered, but arguing wasn’t the way to convince her to hear me out and she started to close the door in my face. I stuck my hand out to stop her. “Please just let me explain everything. Afterward, if you still hate me, I’ll go and I promise I won’t bother you again. Just know this might be your only shot to get Bas back, and if the state you’re in is any indication, you miss him just as much as he misses you so it would be worth it for you to give me ten minutes.” I pleaded.

  “He misses me?” Her voice was laden with skepticism.

  “Yes. He does.”

  “Fine. Ten minutes.” She opened the door wider for me to pass. She didn’t offer me anything to drink or a place to sit, but it didn’t really matter, I wasn’t here for pleasantries.

  “Bas has been like a teenage girl moping around my house. He’s cranky and irritable, but mostly he’s sad. He’s too damn stubborn to admit it, but it’s killing him.”

  “Why are you telling me any of this, shouldn’t you be happy that you have him all to yourself? And, if he really misses me then why isn’t he here making things right?”

  “I’m sorry to be blunt, but he’s not here because he wasn’t the one who was wrong. Granted he should have done a better job of communicating with you so that you would understand, but part of that is my fault-” She cut me off before I could finish.

  “Part of it? This whole damn situation is your fault. For two years I’ve been hearing Jazz this and Jazz that, and I tolerated it because you weren’t here, but I lived every damn day in your shadow, hoping you would stay gone because I knew there was no way I could compete with your history.

  “Then you showed back up and it was worse, because I wasn’t just hearing about you, he was running off to be with you. All he would tell me was that you needed him. You didn’t have anything to do with him for three years and yet the second you came back, you wrapped him around your finger. Do you get off on manipulating everyone in your life? Do you have to be the center of attention? I just don’t understand how you could use him like that and not think what you’re doing is wrong.”

  “I’ve done a lot of things wrong, but what you think is going on between Bas and I is not one of them. You’re way off about me man
ipulating him. You don’t know anything about my life, the reasons I left, why I came back or my so called history with Bas, but if you’ll just listen I’ll tell you. Bas has kept secrets from you out of loyalty to me, not because he was betraying you, but because they weren’t his secrets. He was protecting me.”

  “Protecting you?”

  “Do you know who Jack Malloy is?”

  “Is there anyone in Boston who doesn’t? What does he have to do with this?” She asked impatiently.

  “What do you know about him?”

  “He was allegedly part of the Irish mob here, but nothing could be proven when the feds took most of them down. Now he’s one of the richest, most powerful men in Boston. He owns hotels, casinos, clubs, restaurants and half the city. Most people think he’s still mixed up in a lot of illegal dealings.”

  “He’s also my father, and there’s nothing alleged about his ties to the mob or his more recent criminal activities.” Her eyes widened in disbelief and her mouth was hanging partially open, but she didn’t say a word.

  “My mom fell for him back when he was just a low level enforcer. When she got pregnant she knew he would never commit and she didn’t want me anywhere near his lifestyle. I didn’t meet him until after she passed away when I was twelve. At that point he was building his empire, but most of it is just a front. He’s still involved with the worst of the city. Dangerous men were in and out of our house all the time and my father has more than his fair share of enemies.

  “Because of that my life has been in danger more than once. Bas has always been there for me; through every awful day of my life connected to that man. He feels extremely protective of me, especially since the night I was attacked by someone who works for my dad.” I raised my shirt part way so that she could get a glimpse of the scar. She gasped. “It was really bad and I wouldn’t have survived if Bas hadn’t found me and gotten me help. That’s what all of this is about, what he couldn’t tell you.

  “A big part of the reason I left Boston is because I wasn’t safe here, and since coming back the person who attacked me has been making threats. Bas and everyone else is afraid to leave me alone, but I swear to you that’s it. I’m sorry that my problems came between you two, but I’m telling you all of this so you can fix it.” She remained silent for another minute while she processed everything I told her.

  “You really aren’t taking him from me?” Her voice was a barely audible, but I could hear the hope in it.

  “No. I’m really not. It’s only you for him, even in high school he was in love with you. He might kill me for telling you this, but he traded just to get a locker near yours so he could see you between classes and he would make me spend our lunch outside of the music building just so he could listen to you practice for those twenty minutes. You had him then, and you still have him now if you want him.”

  “I do. God, I do.” She choked out, happy tears running down her cheeks. She surprised me by wrapping her arms around my neck and hugging me. At first I wasn’t sure how to respond to the unexpected embrace, but I raised my arms tentatively and returned the somewhat awkward hug, until it no longer felt so awkward.

  “I’m sorry.” She said, wiping her eyes as she pulled away. “I really was a bitch to you. I was so stupid for not listening to him.”

  “It’s okay, he was stupid for not doing a better job of reassuring you, and I was stupid for letting my baggage get between you two.”

  “Why are you telling me all this? Why would you be nice and help me after all of the awful things I said about you and to you? You should hate me.” I couldn’t hate someone who meant so much to one of the most important people in my life. I wasn’t sure if we would ever be close friends, but I hoped so.

  “Bas loves you. That’s enough for me. I know you’re not really an awful person or he wouldn’t love you so much, and I get why you thought what you did. If I were in your place I might’ve reacted the same way.”

  “My only defense is that love makes you crazy.” Yeah, I was starting to get that. Not that I was in love.

  “So, do you think he’ll talk to me if I go back with you? Will he forgive me?” There was so much fear in her voice and the way she was chewing her lip only reinforced my impression that this girl was more insecure than she tried to let on. I had been trying to see her actions as those of a girl afraid of losing the guy she loved, but now I had a glimpse inside of her and I saw that it was more than that.

  On a deeper level she didn’t think she deserved his love and I felt for her, because I had been there. Some days I was still there. Although we hadn’t started off in the right place, or anywhere near it, in that moment I felt fiercely protective of her. She was the girl Bas loved. She was his “forever,” and that meant I was going to love her too. She was family now, and I wanted to start throwing punches at whoever had made her doubt herself.

  I didn’t just hope that we would be good friends one day, I was determined to make it happen. I wanted her to be able to open up to me, and someday feel comfortable enough to share her story. Everyone has one, and the pain in Lissa’s eyes said hers wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows.

  “Actually, I’m not sure if he will talk to you.” Her expression dropped even more and she just nodded her head and looked down at her feet. “He might just throw you over his shoulder and drag you up to the spare bedroom.” I grinned when her eyes shot up to mine. “I’m sure eventually he’ll get around to the talking part though, after he has his way with you.” For once it wasn’t my cheeks that turned pink.

  “Bas is at his mom’s right now, which is why I was able to come over here. He thinks I’m spending the day with my brother’s wife and my niece, but you can come back with me. While we wait for him I’ll fill you in on all of his embarrassing secrets and I’m sure you know a few that I don’t.” She grinned back at me.

  “Christian and his Dad have told me some funny stories, I can’t wait to hear more.”

  “I have all the good ones that even they don’t know.” Just like that we were already on our way to friends, and I was excited to have another girl to talk to.

  More than anything I just couldn’t wait for mopey Bas to disappear once I surprised him with his girl. It would be a little sad to see him go. I’d gotten used to always having him around and it would mean I’d have to figure something else out for the Connor problem. I needed to deal with him, but I was still reluctant to go to the cops. I was afraid of what the repercussions could be for the people I cared about. I knew how he and my father operated. They were good at making people pay and the price was always high.

  On the ride to my house I kept my promise to Lissa and left her with plenty of stories to use against Bas in the future and I gained a few more of my own. I slowed the car down as we turned into my neighborhood and I knew something wasn’t right. As soon as I saw the black smoke above the rooftops my heart lurched.

  No. No. No. Oh God, please no.

  Chapter 26

  I pulled up at the end of my block and jumped out of the car as soon as the engine shut off. I left the keys in the ignition, not worried about anything other than the assemblage of fire trucks and cop cars sitting directly in front of my house, and the smoke billowing out the side. I ran toward the mass of people gathered in the streets, surrounding the area. I pushed my way through, pretty sure Lissa was following behind me. I think I even heard her call out my name, but I didn’t slow down for even a second.

  When I broke free of the crowd, the sight before me stopped my heart and almost dropped me to my knees. There weren’t any visible flames, but there was a lot of smoke coming from the kitchen area. I was on the opposite side and when I tried to move closer I was stopped by one of the firemen.

  “Excuse me miss, but you need to step back.” His hands were gentle, but firm on my arms and there was no way I was getting any closer. I tried to open my mouth to speak, but I couldn’t form anything coherent. “That’s … I need … what? My …” His brow was creased and he looked down a
t me like he thought I was unstable, which at that point, I was a little. Thankfully Lissa had followed me.

  “That’s her house.” He looked from Lissa then back at me.

  “This is your house miss?” I still didn’t think I could speak, so I just nodded. “Okay, come with me. These officers over here will explain everything to you and I’m sure they will have some questions as well.” He directed me toward a couple of cops standing in the street. “The flames originated in the kitchen but we have the fire almost completely out now and we’ll be able to give you a report on the damage soon. In the meantime these are officers Lewis and Crowley.” He indicated the two policeman.

  They looked up at our approach upon hearing their names. Their eyes shifted from the fireman, whose name either hadn’t been spoken or I had missed, and landed on me.

  “This girl says she lives here.” He told them before turning to address me again.

  “I’m going to leave you here and go find out the status of the fire. I promise as soon as we have an update for you I’ll let you know.” He reassured me, but I wasn’t in any state to be reassured. I wasn’t even sure how my feet had managed to carry me over here. I felt like I was going to collapse any minute. My house was on fire, or did he say it wasn’t on fire anymore? Either way at some point, my house, the only place left in the world that still held pieces of my mom, the only place I could truly call home, had been on fire.

  I realized that one of the officers, I didn’t remember which because I hadn’t paid much attention to their names, was talking to me.

  “Are you the homeowner miss?” Once again I found myself nodding in place of trying to form words. “What’s your name?” His face was kind and his voice was gentle, but it did little to calm me.

  Crap, what did he ask? My name?