I Belong to Him

by Ava Danielle

  When can I see you again? I can’t stop thinking about you. I miss you MORE so much MORE!!

  Nothing has confirmed my decision to move forward, than that message right there. He misses me, and he feels the exact same. Breathe, Addison, breathe. I smile at my phone when Kristina walks in from the back and gives me that crooked look. “Spill the beans, sister,” I hand her my phone and long and behold, Kristina says the unthinkable, “You need to see him again honey, sooner than later.” I actually have to agree. We get things together and open the doors to our little shop. The day has finally come and I’m extremely beside myself. I can’t really imagine that we’ve gone this far, we did it and as hard and long as the journey was, I can’t believe we’ve actually made it. Sharing this with my best friend is the best feeling ever.

  The customers start storming in, we have our staff serving the drinks, all the books are stocked on the shelves and the lighting is perfect. Today is the day we’re just going with donations that we will send to our favorite charities. Our families are here enjoying this big day with us. Michael and Ryan are helping the kids in the children books section, sweetest thing to actually see. Kristina and I high five watching all the commotion. We made it. And just as I turn around to greet some customers, I see Brandon. He’s leaned against the counter smiling at me. Admiring me if you will. I smile back. This isn’t going to be easy. I walk over to say hello to him, wanting to do so much more, knowing the kiss we’ve shared, but with Michael only a few feet away, that is going to be impossible. “This place looks great, Addison. Benjamin said this is his new place to come to, and that’s saying a lot from a kid that doesn’t like to read.” I smile at him, “Thanks. He’s welcome any time. Can I get you a cup of coffee?” I walk behind the bar to give us some distance; he turns around and makes himself comfortable in the chair when I see Michael heading our way. Michael comes around the bar, puts his hands my hips as he walks up and stands next to me. “Let me introduce you to Benjamin’s dad Brandon, Benjamin is in Emma’s Class” I say to Michael as they shake hands, “THE Benjamin?” Michael says toward me, clearly remembering our daughters rambling of this cute boy in her class. We giggle at how young they start their crushes. Feeling a bit uncomfortable, I excuse myself to the ladies room and start to disappear.

  Having the two that close together is not good for my sanity. I sit down on the toilet and just take a few deep breaths; I need to find my composure before I go back out there, when my phone buzzes in my pocket. Who could that be? I pull it out and the biggest grin appears on my face when I see it’s from Brandon.

  You disappeared. Benjamin was ready to go so we headed out but I want you to know, you looked absolutely gorgeous today, I wanted to kiss you and feel you so badly, but I understand the circumstances. I’ll be thinking of you and your stunning smile.

  Somewhat sad he’s left, yet relieved; I type a quick message back.

  If you get a chance, come to the store tomorrow, I’d like to see you.

  I go back out to the crowd, thankful for everything that we’ve accomplished, and start to mingle with the crowd. The best thing about this town we live in, it has that small town feel where everyone knows your name. Everyone appreciates a small business with family standards, rather than the big wigs such as brand name bookstores and coffee shops. We are small, but cozy. I can see myself hanging out here more than at my own house.

  A few hours later, it was closing time. Our husbands have gone home with the kids and we’re cleaning up. “Oh my god, I can’t believe the turn out we had. We already have to put in an order for more coffee and our best selling books need to be restocked. This is crazy,” Kristina states while cleaning up the coffee bar. I just cleaned all our white dishes and put them back up into the shelves. “I saw Brandon and Michael mingle today, how was that for you?” she asks me and it takes me a minute to answer “Actually, brutally uncomfortable. I walked out on them and pretty much hid. I know, I know, coward. I just don’t know how to act around him, either of them.” I’m starting to think I don’t I love Michael anymore. I find myself thinking about Brandon nonstop, and it can’t be because he’s something new or enticing. I long for him in ways unexplainable. I want nothing more than to lay in his arms. “I told Brandon to come meet me here tomorrow,” I say under my breath. She stops everything she’s doing, looks up at me, “I think that’s a good idea,” and continues to wipe the counter. We lock up and head home. Michael is already in bed when I get home. Surprising. I take a shower and join him. He rolls over, kisses me on the lips, “I love you,” rolls back over to his side and I can’t seem to get those words out. If there were ever a time for him to notice something is off, this would be it.

  Chapter 9

  It’s Tuesday. I drop the two oldest off at the middle school, heading toward the elementary school drop off lane, I drop Emma off, and I’m behind none other than Brandon’s BMW. I see him look into his rear view mirror and see that bright white smile of his. I give him a quick wave and we drive off. I make it to the shop, get the awning out, set up our cast iron chairs and tables outside, and start the coffee machine. Kristina won’t be in this morning, school appointments. Oh the joys of having children.

  I do a clean sweep in the bathrooms and when I come back out, Brandon is already sitting at the bar. “Hello beautiful,” he says as I lean across the counter and smile. “Thanks for coming by. Would you like something to drink?” He gets off the chair, comes to the back of the bar, “All I want right now is to kiss you, I need to feel your lips against mine again and that is the only thing to quench my thirst.” He leans into me, puts my head into his two hands and presses his lips hard against mine. This isn’t the soft kiss that I received from him in the parking lot the other day; this is a possessive kiss, a kiss to let me know he missed me. A kiss I never want to end.

  He’s so close to me I can feel his hardness against my leg. His kiss is so deep, gentle, hard, and almost intoxicating. He releases me, I lick my lips and bite them, “That right there, you licking and biting your lips, turns me on,” he says, his hands still around my body. My mind is completely defused. I take my finger, caress his cheek, run my fingers along his lips, and lick mine, “kiss me again” I whisper. It wasn’t even a second before he took that invitation. I can’t get enough of his kisses. He’s sensual and sensitive all at the same time. I’m fucked in so many ways now. I’m enjoying these kisses way too much, I’m enjoying his touch and my body reacts to him so easily. Our bodies connect together like a missing puzzle piece.

  He releases a bit and just looks at me. “I need to lock the door.” I manage to get out when he shakes his head, “I already did.” I think we stand there for what feels like hours kissing. If he keeps this up I’m going to have to change my panties. I guess I should consider bringing an extra pair to work. Holy hell, what did that kiss do to my brain? I feel like he fucked my brains out with only that kiss. “What are you doing to me?” I manage to squeak out when he just smirks, “I think they call that kissing.” I slap him across his chest and feel just how buff he really is. Under that sexy polo shirt is a one hell of an upper body and I’d love to feel it. I’d love to run my fingers, tongue, and any other body part along it.

  He pushes a strand of hair out of my face and just smiles at me. “I want you so badly right now.” His finger lingers across my lips, my tongue sliding out and barely touching his finger, I see his eyes dilate, he wants me and he’s got a sure way of showing me. He cups my chin, leans in, kisses me harder, his hand starts to wander up my side, I feel him slide under my shirt. His lips ease away from mine and start to go down my chin, my neck, his fingers unbuttoning my shirt. His tongue licking down my chest. He pulls my bra up over my breasts, I feel his tongue teasing my nipple, and he’s just barely touching it.

  I throw my head back and enjoy every inch of his lips on my nipples. He circles around them with the tip of his tongue sending a shiver through my entire body. I could get used to this. “You have amazing breasts, Addison.” The w
ay he says my name turns me on more than the fact he’s saying I’m amazing.

  He continues sucking on my nipples and periodically bites them. His teeth clenching around my nipples makes me suck the air in. “Harder,” I beg him. This feeling he gives me is indescribable. He picks me up, sits me on the counter and takes my shirt and bra off. I’m across from him, stripped bare at the top, enjoying every little touch he gives me. I pull his shirt over his head and my eyes take in his broad shoulders, his sculpted chest, his abs, his everything. My lips finding his nipples, I tug at them when he releases a small moan.

  This, Us, feels so right. I start to unbutton his jeans, sliding the zipper, and reaching my hands in just a little, I hear him catch his breath. We are both panting from our teasing. I want to taste him, touch him so badly, but I don’t think this being the right place. Pretty sure Brandon feels my hesitation and before things get any further says, “I don’t want our first time to be here, I want it to be something special.” Somewhat agreeing with him I realize there’s nowhere special because what we are doing isn’t right in the first place. I pull him in for a kiss, letting all my relentless, nervousness, and guilty conscious go, I’m in need for him and this chemistry at the moment is hotter and higher than I could ever imagine it to be. I need him, and I need him now.

  I start to unzip my pants, showing him that I want it now. I pull my jeans off sitting on the bar with only my panties on. He’s staring right at me and I’m not really sure where I’ve gathered all this confidence, but I start to withdraw my panties and slide my finger in my pussy showing him just how badly I do want him. His eyes shocked, “You’re driving me crazy,” he watches me intently as I rub my clit. I casually pull out my finger and start to rub it across his lips making him taste me. I watch him pull his jeans and boxers off in one quick whoosh. Standing in front of me naked and with a cock so hard, I admire him.

  He comes closer to me and I feel the tip of his cock slide into my pussy, I feel him along my lips, he’s hard, and big, and he’s sliding into me. On my coffee bar. Pushing in deeper and deeper. My hands are around his neck, his lips are sucking on my neck and he’s thrusting into me, harder with each thrust. I notice that we are breathing in unison. Our moans growing louder, “Fuck, you are so tight baby,” he whispers as he pushes deeper into me. I can’t get enough of him. He belongs entirely to me. He makes me cum more than once, more than Michael has in the last few years. Actually, I haven’t had an orgasm like that in pretty much forever.

  Overwhelmed with emotion, tears start forming in my eyes. Brandon pulls out and takes me in his arms. “Don’t cry, honey,” and with that, the tears start running down my cheek. He takes his fingers and wipes them away. He cares about me, I can tell. But fuck what have I done?!!!

  We are wrapped in each other’s arms for a few more minutes. When Brandon starts to put on his clothes again, handing me mine, yet still smiling. Silence has fallen between us. Neither of us sure of what to say. As we dress, I watch him intently. I don’t think I could ever bore from watching him. After he’s finished, he takes me into his arms and hugs me tight. “I want more Addison, what we just did was, boy am I going to sound cliché, but it was fucking awesome. Did you feel how well we fit together?” I have no idea what to say to this all.

  I cheated on my husband, my husband of fifteen years who I share three incredible children with. Yet, I’m in the arms of this man. I’m close to him and I can’t break away. I’m broken, but he makes me feel whole. How is that even possible?

  I breathe him in, his cologne, his entire being. Part of me needs to let him go, and as much as that hurts, part of me wants to keep him. How fucking ridiculous is this? I lean into his arms a bit longer when I whisper, “You need to go.” He leans back some and just looks at me. “Is this,” when I take my finger and cover his lips. “Don’t say anything, just give me some time,” and I kiss his lips gently.

  I really need to figure all this out. I just had the best sex, in I don’t even know how long, and it wasn’t with my husband. It was a man I’m infatuated with, someone I met only a few weeks ago.

  I smile at him making sure he’s aware that I don’t regret what just happened. At least I’m telling myself this. He grabs his jacket off the barstool and heads out the door and I watch him. I watch him leave. I want to run after him, tell him that what we just did was just as special to me as it seems to him, but I can’t out of respect for my husband. My husband, who’s at work and takes care of us all, and has so, the past fifteen years, I start to clean up our mess, wipe the counter down and get ready for the day, all of what just happened replaying in my mind.

  Chapter 10

  A few days have passed, with no contact between Brandon and I. I’ve been doing extremely good hiding my feelings, hiding what I’ve done, and not changing one bit. Kristina has no idea what happened at the coffee shop, and that is something she will probably not want to know. I still long for Brandon’s lips though, this relationship, if you want to call it that, has been nothing but conventional. Some days, you just wish to go back to being young and falling in love all over again, to take away some of your mistakes before you have to learn from them. I’m not regretting my marriage, my children, but I’m regretting falling into a rut and not realizing it was one before now. Maybe if I spoke up to Michael, explained to him my feelings, more than just the basics, maybe it would’ve never come to this. But the adventure, the excitement of all this has me begging for more.

  I put up some of the books on the shelf when I hear Kristina coming in. “Good Morning, Sunshine,” she yells. Sometimes that girl is in too good of a mood, pretty sure Ryan gave her the time of her life last night. “What’s new pussycat?” I throw back at her. “On second thought, please no details, I’m pretty sure with the mood you’re in, it was a good night.” she laughs at me as she pours herself a cup of coffee. “Actually, it was like always. I’m just a bit chipper because apparently our guys have decided to go out camping and fishing this weekend, which leaves us girls to some well needed girl time. Wine. Lots of wine will be drunk.” I give her a quick look over my shoulder. “The guys are going out camping and fishing? It’s the first I hear of this. Michael never mentioned it to me.” She shrugs her shoulders, “I guess they decided last night, I don’t know. Michael said you went to sleep pretty early and he didn’t get a chance to tell you about it.” That’s pretty possible, after my bath last night and all those thoughts of Brandon, I was pretty distracted. I sit down at the bar where Kristina is stirring up her coffee cup. “Did he say how long they’ll be gone?” I ask her, instead of just calling Michael and confirming it myself. “They are leaving early tomorrow morning and won’t come back until Sunday night. That’s the word I got. What’s it matter, girl time.” I smile at her. “Sure thing.” But in the back of my mind, I’m thinking something totally different.

  I pull my phone out and find Brandon’s name in my contacts. I text him

  What are your plans for this weekend?

  I set my phone on the counter and head back over to the shelves, helping a few customers with book recommendations. It’s almost closing time when I situate all the pillows back on the love seat. Kristina walks over to me, slouches on the couch, “You missed a call from Brandon earlier.” My head spins into her direction. What? Brandon has never called me. “Oh,” I say and as I try to get up to retrieve it, she pulls on my sleeve. “What’s going on with you two?” and with that question she throws me totally off guard. I can’t answer that. I don’t know how to answer that. “Nothing. I’d love to tell you more, but there’s nothing really to tell.” It’s the truth. “I feel comfortable around him, I can tell you that much. There’s this chemistry when we kiss.” She stops me, “What? You’ve kissed? Why haven’t you told me?” her eyes get so big. “Well, I don’t know. How do you tell your best friend you’ve kissed someone other than your husband and it felt good?”

  It’s the truth. It’s not like you can just go knocking on the door and say, ‘Hey guess wha
t, I kissed another man and I loved it’. I guess she’s choosing her next words wisely, she’s staring at me, “Has there been more than kissing?” and this is where I debate whether to tell my best friend of twenty years the full truth or just half of it. She’d been there for my wedding; she’s been there through all the ups and downs, having our kids, and everything in-between. “We fucked!”

  There, I said it. And there went Kristina falling off the couch. “YOU WHAT?” I gulp and try to walk away; it’s fucking hot in here.

  I go to open the front door when she storms over to me. “You can’t just walk away after that. I need details.” I laugh. “No Kris, I don’t think you’ll want these details.” I’m pretty sure she’s not going to let this go. “What do you mean I don’t want details? When did you see him, when did you…. you know, like you put it, fuck? How was he? Is he good? How big is his cock?” My eyes get big “KRISTINA!” Those are details I’m definitely not sharing with her. She just shrugs, “Well?” I laugh at her. “Let’s just say he was mind- blowing, and I walk away from her and get my phone. Debating on calling him, there’s no harm in that. I dial his number and after two rings, he answers.