I Belong to Him

by Ava Danielle

  Hello Addison!

  Hi. I missed your call earlier.

  It’s ok. You asked what my plans were. I’m actually doing nothing this weekend. Benjamin is at a sleepover and well, I don’t have much of a life. My best friend is out of town so it’s just me, a bottle of beer, and netflix. How about you?

  The timing couldn’t be more perfect. It’s now or never. I need to find a way to see him, I need to figure out what this heart of mine wants. Debating on my next move

  Michael is out camping this weekend and, well, ummm, I’d like to see you.

  Oh really?

  Yes, really! Are you smiling?

  What if I am?

  Ok, crazy ass. Would you be spontaneous?

  Babe, for you I’ll be anything you want.

  Oh really?

  Uh huh! Are you smiling now?

  Maybe!

  Mission accomplished!

  Doesn’t matter, I know you are.

  Oooh yeah, because you know me Oh So Well.

  I know you pretty damn good after the other morning.

  Pervert.

  So!

  I’ll give you a call or text when I can escape for a few hours.

  Sounds good. I’ll be thinking of you like I’ve done the past few days.

  Oh you too, huh?

  Never stopped.

  Talk to you soon

  Bye Beautiful

  With the biggest smile on my face, I hang up the phone. Kristina sees me smiling, “He does you good, Addison.”

  That just confirms that I need to make some changes in my life.

  We close up for the day and head home. I pull into our driveway where I see Michael packing up his car with all the fishing and camping gear. I walk up to him and kiss him on the cheek. “Hey, so I hear you’re going out camping this weekend?” After he puts the last rod into the car, he looks up “Yeah, I was going to tell you last night when Ryan and I had decided, but you were already asleep. I didn’t want to wake you and this morning things were a bit chaotic with getting the kids off to school. I hope you don’t mind.” He goes into the garage to get more sleeping bags “Nah, not at all, I think Kristina and I will just lay low, have a few glasses of wine and enjoy girl time.” He kisses me on the lips, “Sounds like a great plan,” and continues getting things situated. I walk into the house; greet the kids that are busy doing homework. “How about we order a pizza tonight, what do you girls say?” I think they might have busted my eardrum with their excitement.

  Picking up the phone, digging out the pizza menu from the drawer, I call Anthony’s pizza and order our usual. I sit down to help Emma with some of her homework when Michael walks in, “Alright babe, we’re getting ready to go. Have fun with Kris and girls, behave yourselves.” He kisses me lightly on my lips and walks out.

  Not much longer and the doorbell rings, assuming it’s the pizza boy, I dig out my wallet that’s on the kitchen counter and head over to the door. I pay, thank Paul for our pizza, and tell him to say hi to his family from us. Paul is the neighborhood teenager that just got his driver’s license not too long ago and works for the local pizzeria. He’s a real good kid.

  I take the pizza to the dining room table; the girls already hurdled around the table ready for some pizza and a movie. “No Frozen tonight, Emma,” Violet points out. “What if we watch Magic Mike?” Cheyenne chimes in. “Are you out of your mind, Cheyenne?” I throw back while choking on an olive. “It was just an idea Mom, geez,” while Violet bursts out laughing. “What’s Magic Mike, Mom?” Emma says before biting into her slice of pizza. “Nothing you need to worry about, honey. How about we watch Big Hero 6?” I bite into my slice of pizza “Really, Mom, that’s a boys movie!” Violet throws back at me. “Alright then, what about Maleficent?” And all three of my girls cheer yes and finish up with their pizzas.

  Cheyenne sets up the movie, I put the left over pizzas up and set the dishes into the dishwasher, Emma gets dressed into her pajamas and gets her blanket and pillow and lies across the couch. She’s the one that usually falls asleep mid movie; it’s not going to be any different tonight. I grab my cell phone to check my emails as the movie starts. As I’m scrolling through one after the other, a text interferes. I open my text app and notice it’s a message from Brandon. Instantly the butterflies appear in my stomach.

  I miss you!

  Three simple words, I. Miss. You.

  I go into the kitchen to get a glass of wine. Pour me some Pinot Grigio and finish the movie with the kids. I carry Emma to bed, she didn’t make it but about 15 minutes into the movie. Cheyenne and Violet also headed to bed, I turned everything off downstairs and decided to go take a bath. A glass of wine, my phone, and bubbles. Score!

  As I’m taking off my clothes, bra, panties and step into the tub, I’m debating what to text Brandon. I take a sip of my wine and get to typing.

  I’m lying in the bathtub, my nipples barely touching the bubbles beneath me, biting my lips. I feel the water run in between my legs and get that tingle around my clit.

  And Send! Now I wait.

  I close my eyes and think about our morning on the bar. That’s all I’ve been thinking about. I yearn for him so badly. I don’t think I’ve ever needed anyone as much as I need Brandon. The thoughts of him are turning me on. I start to run my fingers across my nipples. Enjoying how my body is reacting. My phone beeps and takes me out of my trance. I grab it off the floor where I laid it earlier.

  Babe! You turn me on so fucking much. Is there room in the tub for me? I’d love for it to be my fingers all over your naked body. You know how I feel about you biting your lips.

  Will you bite them for me? And yes, there’s plenty of room.

  I won’t just bite them. I will kiss them harder than you can imagine.

  Is that a promise?

  I need you Addison. Do you understand that?

  Of course I do. But does he understand it’s not all that easy for me? I have a family to think of. All the people who I am hurting, all because of passion. Because of this attraction and chemistry I can’t shake. How do even answer that? The butterflies he gives me when I re-read his messages, when I see those words and want nothing more than HIM.

  I close my eyes, sink down under the water and think. I can’t breathe under water. I can’t breathe above water. He takes the oxygen from me. He literally takes my breath away. I’m done with this bath, totally not how I saw this going.

  I put on my bathrobe, brushed my wet hair, looked at myself once more in the mirror, grab my phone, and head into my bedroom. I see my wooden bed that I had bought with my husband about ten years ago. All the memories of us in this bedroom. Yet, I’m laying down in bed and think of him. He consumes me day and night. I look at my phone - fuck it. I dial his number.

  Hello Addison!

  Hello Brandon!

  Silence falls between us.

  I do understand, Brandon. I need you just as much. I might just need you a little more.

  Never!

  But do you understand how hard this is for me?

  Baby, don’t you think I’ve thought about that? I’m wrecking your home, I’m that man I never wanted to be, I’m that man I despise, that I lost my ex-wife to. As much as I don’t want to be THAT man, I can’t stop thinking about you, I can’t stop wanting to be with you. And what scares me so much more is the fact it’s not just the sexual part of it. I want to get every detail about you, I want to know the small little details that make you, YOU. I want to see the way you brush your hair, the way you say goodbye to your kids when you sent them off to school, the way you make their lunches. I want to know your quirks, do you grind your teeth at night, do you snore, do you leave your socks by the bed? The little things.

  - sigh-

  Addison?

  Yes?

  I would like to see you tomorrow, but I understand if you need space or time.

  I want to see you too. I’m going to go to sleep now, I’ll call you tomorrow.

  Good night, Baby.<
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  Why can’t things be fucking simple anymore? I’m just going to go with my heart. This thinking clearly shit is interfering with something that could be good to me. I get comfortable, not even close to Michael’s side of the bed. I close my eyes, I see Brandon, and drift off to sleep.

  Chapter 11

  Saturday Morning. The girls are still sleeping and I’m lying in bed staring at that fucking white ceiling again. Maybe I should just paint the damn thing since I keep looking up hoping for some sort of epiphany.

  I get out of bed, open the blinds and enjoy the rays of sunshine hitting my face. I head to my oversize closet and decide on what to wear. I need clothes that say confidence, that speak for themselves, something sexy. Knock you off your socks, sexy!

  I hear a knock at the door “Hey Mom, after breakfast, Sophia has invited us all over for a wellness day at her house, with movie and popcorn. Is it ok if we go?” I look over at Violet that’s standing in the doorway. Epiphany? “Sure.” I dig back around in my closet. “Is it also ok to spend the night? I know it’s supposed to be our weekend with dad gone, but,” I stop her right there. “Of course it’s ok. You girls have fun, I’m old enough to figure out what to do with my time.” I wink at her. “Make sure to take your keys though in case you need to come home for something and I might be napping or out shopping.” Violet smiled and bounced out of the bedroom. Girls.

  I slide into my chevron blue and white skirt, a white tank top, blue scarf, and my favorite brown sandals. I brush my hair and add a few curls. Not much of makeup, that’s not really so much my thing, I’m more a natural beauty kind of woman. I make my way down the stairs as I pass our wedding photo on the wall. I take a deep breath, and continue down the hall. I hear the kids giggle, which brings me back to my earlier mood. I finish up breakfast with them and afterwards watch them all leave with their bags to head to their friends house. I pull my phone out of my pocket and I notice I have a text from Brandon. That damn silent button. I smile as I read:

  Good Morning, beautiful!

  No matter what, he always shows me he cares, not like he needs to, but he does. I want to spend time with him today, as much as I can, and really get to know him. I need this. I need to know what this is I’m feeling and if there really is a chance of more.

  Honestly, I haven’t missed Michael at all. I know I should, and there’s this small part of me that feels bad about it, but for the most part, Brandon overpowers that.

  Suddenly, as if a light bulb went off in my head, I have an idea how to spend my day with Brandon. I look around my cupboards to see what kind of goodies I can scrimmage up. I get my cooler bag out of the pantry, fill it with two glasses, a bottle of wine, some fruits that are stored in the refrigerator. I prepare some peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, put them in a Ziploc bag and place all items in the cooler. I get a blanket out of the linen closet and go to retrieve my phone. Without thinking twice I dial Brandon’s number.

  Hello Gorgeous!

  Hey Brandon. How’s a picnic in Wadsworth Park sound?

  Sounds great. What time you want me to pick you up?

  Actually, would you mind if we met there?

  Gotcha. Sure thing. What time?

  Now? I giggle

  Perfect. I’ll get in my car and go now. See you there!

  Super. I’ll see you in a few.

  Addison?

  Yes?

  I can’t wait to kiss you.

  Bye, Brandon

  I say with the biggest smile. It doesn’t matter the time of the day, he makes me happy, he gives me butterflies, he excites me, and he makes me extremely curious as to what comes next. I’m enthralled by him. I place all the items in the trunk of the car. I send a message to Kristina

  Going out to Wadsworth Park with Brandon, the girls are at Sophia’s house for a fun spa day. Could you kinda keep an eye out on them in case they come home when I’m not there?

  Of course. Have fun. Be safe! Love you.

  And off we go. On the drive to the park I listen to the radio, the song ‘Start of Something Good’ by Daughtry comes on. I listen to the words closely. The words hit me like a freight train. ‘You’ll never know when you’re gonna meet someone and your whole world in a moment comes undone.’

  I pull into the parking lot and park right next to Brandon’s BMW. I admire his back as he’s staring out onto the river. He’s beyond sexy wearing a pair of khaki shorts, a dark blue t-shirt, flipflops, and his hair has a bit of gel in it by the looks.

  As I begin to walk over to him, he turns around and sees me. That glitter in his eyes is about to turn my legs to Jell-O. As he gets closer to me, my heartbeat skips, and my breathing becomes rugged. What has this man done to me? He holds his hands out to me, I grab hold, and he pulls me in for a tight hug whispering, “I missed you SO much.”

  My head on his chest, I look up at him, begging for him to kiss me. He leans down and places his lips on mine. We lock together. He squeezes my hands as he runs his tongue across mine. It takes us quite some time to release each other and when we do, I start to long for more of his touch, even though I’m still in his arms. “I have a bag and blanket in the car.” I tell him as I start to slide out of his hold. “Ok, let’s go get it and find a spot to sit,” he tells me right before placing another kiss on my lips. He must’ve had a hard time releasing me as I am of him.

  We hold hands walking to my car. Once we get the bag and find our spot by the waterfall, I throw the blanket on the ground, as Brandon pulls the glasses and wine along with the fruits out of the bag. “You went all out, PBJs, I love a girl that knows her way to my heart with sandwiches,” he teases. Did he just say he loves me? Or the fact he just loves any girl that makes him a sandwich? I can’t read into this too much or I might just lose my mind.

  We both sit down on the blanket, next to each other, overlooking the waterfall. He puts his hand on my thigh, and just looks at me. Smirking actually. This is so wrong, but so right! I lean into him to kiss him. The silence between us is scaring me a bit. “What are you thinking about?” I ask him as our kiss subsides. “You! Like I always do.” I smile at him. “When I’m not with you, I want to be with you. You consume my every thought, every second of the day,” he states.

  I take a deep breath, “this is so wrong but feels so right,” I say to him. He takes his finger and rubs across my thumb while holding my hands tight. “I need to ask you something. How are things with your husband if it’s so easy for you to be with me? If this feels so right?” I pull my hand away and pull it through my hair. “I’m not sure how to answer that. I love him, but lately I question if I’m IN love with him. It feels like we’re roommates, and what I feel for you is something so much stronger than what I’ve ever felt for him. It scares me, Brandon.” He pulls me in for a hug. “I know, baby.” He squeezes me tight.

  His scent, his body, it switches something inside of me. I cuddle up closer into him, pull him near me, and kiss him hard. I want him to know that he means something to me. That being with him completes me. Our kiss gets deeper. His hand runs down my cheek as he kisses me, confirming to me that he feels for me. He stops our kiss, “I’m afraid I’m falling for you, Addison.”

  It’s only been a few weeks, how can he say that? But what scares me most is the fact that I’m starting to feel the exact same way. Our kiss grows and my hand starts to wander across his body. I need to feel him. I slide my hand under his shirt to feel his ribcage. Desire. Passion. Love. I need it the most right now. Nothing else matters. Nothing else could be more devoting.

  The tip of my finger runs across his nipple. I hear his breath hitch. I stare right into his beautiful brown eyes as we kiss. I see the fire in his eyes. I part my lips inviting his tongue inside my mouth, to feel his tongue run along my teeth. His hand starts to go under my tank top; his hands undoing my bra and letting it fall down my shoulders. We are watching each other. Kissing. The butterflies have picked up. The passion is growing. I need him, desperately.

  The scenery arou
nd us is gorgeous. I listen to the waterfall as we fall into each other. I listen to his breathing and trying to keep up with my own. I am in this bubble with him that I want never to burst. His finger caresses every inch of my body. He takes my breast into his hand and squeezes it. He bounces it and moans into my mouth. “You have perfect breasts, baby.” His compliments turn me on so much. I could and will never tire of his kisses.

  I start to unbutton and unzip his pants, he stops kissing me and pulls away. Self-doubt hits me as I stop. “You sure?” He asks me. It’s all or nothing now. “I need you,” and with that we lay down on the blanket. I feel like we’re teenagers having sex for the first time. But it’s so much more than that. What Brandon and I have is somewhat magical. His kisses make me melt. “You have no idea how absolutely stunning you are,” he whispers to me. “I love the way your body reacts to me. I love the way you moan and beg for me. I love the way my finger feels on your clit.” He slides my skirt up, takes my tank top and bra off, he plants kisses all over my body. He’s tasting me. And with each taste, he makes this noise from the back of his throat that makes me lose my mind. He pulls his pants off, his boxers, red white and blue Tommy’s, nice, and lies on top of me. I admire his face. I admire that sensual look in his eyes as he’s about to fill me. “You’re. So. Wet.” he whispers across my lips, annunciating each word. His cock slides into me, pushing in deeper. I feel him making love to me. There’s no doubt in that. We explode together and this is the moment I realize, I want this man forever. There’s no way I’m ever letting him go, the feeling of safety, love, and passion I get from him is deeper than I’ve ever felt for anyone. That is clear. “I’m falling for you too, Brandon!” I affirm.