Blackness Within (The Blackness Series Book 5)

by Norma Jeanne Karlsson

  “You good?” Kav asks as we pull up in front of Flannigan’s.

  “I’m good.”

  I am good.

  My family is speaking to me again. Natasha’s on her feet again. I’m back in the swing of things. Tonight will be good.

  Cian, the doorman at Flannigan’s, offers us all chin lifts as we enter our local pub. We’re here a few times a week depending on our schedules. The atmosphere is classically Irish with heavy wood, sports memorabilia and the smell of good beer.

  We settle in at our usual table near the back wall. It’s an average-sized place with a bar along the left wall as you walk in, tables in the middle of the room, darts and pool tables at the back and a stage beyond the tables.

  Cal, Finn and Aidan stride over to the bar to get us our first pints while Kav and I stretch out. He’s immediately scanning the room for a random piece. That’s what he does. It’s what I used to do too. I haven’t even felt the urge since I professed it was my typical behavior to Natasha in my backyard. Karma.

  “Who’s that?” Kav asks out of the corner of his mouth, staring at a black-haired woman leaning over a pool table.

  “I can’t say I’ve seen that ass before,” I snark.

  How the hell am I supposed to know who someone is based on her ass and legs from behind? I’m good, but not that good.

  “I’m gonna tap that ass,” Kav says decidedly.

  He will.

  The Callaghan brothers return to our table and we all throw back our pints. Easy banter circles our group as I watch the door intently. I figured Blake and Natasha would be here by now. I check my watch while receiving a nudge from Finn.

  “She’ll be here, man,” he assures me with a wink.

  I snort and shake my head.

  “Wanna play?” I need a distraction and pool seems like a good one at this point.

  “Come on,” Aidan agrees.

  His large long frame unfolds from his chair and glides over to the table where the faceless ass and her friend have just finished beating two guys that couldn’t give a shit. They were playing for the view, not the win.

  “Next game?” Aidan asks with a dazzling smile.

  The raven woman smirks at him and nods nonchalantly. Her hair cascades most of the way down her back. She’s average height, which puts Aidan well over a foot above her. Her eyes are a light honey brown color and as she speaks to her friend while Aidan racks the balls, a small dimple puckers her cheek.

  I switch my view and catch Aidan staring at her intently. She’s his type. Cute and small. This should be fun.

  “I’m Brian,” I introduce myself smoothly to both women.

  “I’m Liz.” She has a name.

  “I’m Angie and I’m married,” her friend says and flashes a small ring at the same time.

  She’s been hit on too much already. I smile sweetly and grab her hand before responding, “Good for him.”

  I feel her relax and look into her face to see pride beaming at the ring and the promises it holds. It may be small, but I sense it was dedicatedly worked for. Nothing more beautiful than a happy woman. She pushes her strawberry-blonde bob behind her ear and crinkles her lightly freckled nose at me. “Good for me too.”

  I nod and wink at her.

  “I’m Aidan,” my friend’s low bass voice comes from behind me.

  “Liz,” she says shoving her hand out for a firm shake.

  “Angie,” she says with a small wave and then rolls her eyes at me.

  Liz and Aidan are still holding hands, having a moment.

  I nudge Angie’s shoulder when the wait is becoming comical. She snickers and hops off her stool.

  “Come on, Lizzie,” she calls out before smacking her friend’s denim-shorts-covered ass.

  “Right,” Liz mutters and follows Angie around the table.

  I settle on the stool Angie just vacated, pool cue resting between my legs.

  “She’s cute,” I point out the obvious.

  “Noticed that,” Aidan mumbles distractedly, as he stares at her ass, bent over to break.

  Liz breaks impressively and begins circling the table, focused on the goal at hand. Kicking our asses handily. After sinking half of her balls, Liz misses her shot. When she stands up, she’s frustrated at herself. A perfectionist.

  “Go ahead,” I offer Aidan first shot.

  He smirks and begins to work the table as well as Liz did. Aidan played a lot of pool when he was in college. I’ve watched him hustle his fair share in his day. No one suspects the doctor to be a pool shark. Once he’s cleared the table and calls his shot on the eight ball, I spy Liz ticking with annoyance. Competitive too.

  I bump fists with Aidan as he wins the game. I’m pleased I haven’t had to move other than to drink my beer. I’m a lazy pool player.

  “Best two out of three,” Liz demands, striding up to us.

  Her cheeks are flushed and her hands are tense at her sides. Fiery.

  “That’s all right. We’ve got friends to get back to,” Aidan dismisses her.

  I quirk an eyebrow at him and shrug when he doesn’t respond. If he doesn’t want a shot at Liz, it’s his loss.

  “Come on. Don’t leave me hangin’ like that,” she complains sweetly, turning on the charm.

  “Well, I’m not known to leave a woman wanting,” Aidan flirts with a wicked grin on his lips.

  Liz’s tongue darts out as a little want flames in her honey eyes.

  “Are we playin’ or talkin’?” Angie yells with her hands on her hips.

  She shoots me a knowing smile and I beam one back at her.

  “Two outta three, honey,” Aidan purrs and moves away to rack the balls.

  Liz stands stock still as Aidan brushes past her. He makes her nervous. That’s good.

  “So, Liz,” I prompt and she jumps a little before coming out of her fog. “What do you do?”

  “I’m a volleyball coach,” she says with pride.

  “My sister played volleyball. Where do you coach?”

  “I coach an AAU team up north. Where’d your sister play?”

  “Shawnee Mission Northwest and a local club I can’t remember the name of. She played at the University of Chicago too.”

  Liz studies my face for a while as though she’s putting together a puzzle before asking, “Shannon Kelly?”

  “That’s the one. You play with her?”

  “Against her. She was a great player. I didn’t know she had a brother.”

  “She’s got nine,” I reply with a chuff.

  “No shit?” she asks disbelieving

  “No shit. Aidan’s one of ’em, along with that table of idiots over there,” I say nodding at the guys.

  “Big family,” she retorts, taking in the table.

  “Huge,” I say suggestively. I can’t help myself.

  Her eyes cut to mine before we both dissolve into deep belly laughs. I like this chick.

  “Your break, O’Sullivan,” Aidan bellows over the loud Irish folk music.

  “What was that about?” he asks when I reach the table.

  “Talkin’ about your big dick, buddy,” I snark and push him out of the way.

  I break as Aidan saunters over to Liz. He’s putting on the charm just enough to have her putty in his hands by the end of the night.

  I move around the table and sink a few balls. When I miss, Angie takes over. Her and I chat about this and that as she shoots. She’s not as good as Liz, but she’s holding her own. She coaches with Liz and we talk sports a little. She’s not originally from Kansas City, which explains the slight twang she has.

  She’s funny. I find myself laughing and having a really good time. It’s nice not to have the pussy patrol pressure. I think she feels relaxed because I’m not hitting on her.

  Angie measures her next shot at the end of the table and bends over to stroke her cue a few times. I see him coming before she senses his presence. Some douche bag saddles up behind her and grabs her hips before grinding into her. She scratches
as she stands up and whips around to confront her assailant.

  I beat her to the punch.

  “Hey!” I yell as I round the table.

  The asshole’s drunken gaze snaps to mine and he takes a step away from a shaking Angie.

  “She yours?” he slurs.

  “Yeah. Touch her, so much as fuckin’ breathe the same air as her, and I’ll shove my fist down your goddamn throat,” I seethe, wrapping a protective arm around Angie’s shoulders.

  “Shouldn’t let your woman dress like a slut,” he grumbles and I see red.

  Angie’s wearing normal shorts and a T-shirt. She’s not dressed like a slut. But here’s the thing. A woman could be standing here naked and I wouldn’t give a shit. You don’t get to touch a woman just because you think you can. She can dress in a skimpy revealing outfit or like an Amish person. It doesn’t matter.

  “Angie, move over there,” I growl in her ear. She scurries away quickly.

  “Problem?” Kav asks at my side.

  “Can’t wait to hear this,” Aidan pipes in.

  “He gonna recite the periodic table?” Finn adds to the fray.

  “I’d rather hear a nursery rhyme,” Cal finishes the taunting.

  “Get the fuck outta here,” I snarl at Captain Numbnuts.

  Some of his boys have joined the group and we look like an old-fashioned show down. Earps versus the Cowboys.

  “You gonna make me?” he says through a snort.

  I don’t answer. I drive my fist in his face. Both groups go at it. We end up on the ground as you always do in a brawl in tight quarters. This guy has no idea how to fight and I’m pounding him into the floor.

  “O’Sullivan, back off,” Cian orders, yanking me off the dude’s limp body.

  I climb to my feet and hold my hands up, indicating I’m done.

  Cian and the other bouncers haul dumbshit and his crew out of the pub as Kav announces, “I fuckin’ love Flannigan’s!”

  The rest of the place hoots and hollers in agreement. The owner behind the bar, Jack, shakes his head at me with a smirk. We didn’t break anything so he’s not pissed. This is not the first fight we’ve had here. It won’t be the last.

  I turn my attention to Angie and Liz. They’re both staring at our group in shock and a little pleased.

  “You okay?” I ask Angie as I right my button down, rubbing my bloody hands on a rag Kav hands me.

  “You didn’t have to do that,” she admonishes me. “But thanks.”

  “You’re not dressed like a slut, Angie. And even if you were, no man should do what he just did to you. What would your husband have done if her were here?” I ask, stepping close to her.

  “He’d be goin’ to jail,” she scoffs.

  “Good man,” I compliment her.

  “You shouldn’t be fighting,” Liz growls at Aidan.

  “Why’s that?” he asks with a furrowed brow.

  “You’re a surgeon. You can’t mess up your hands,” she responds in a duh voice.

  “I’m good,” he assures her before pulling her beneath his long arm.

  She takes the rag from my hands and wipes a little blood that’s on his shirt.

  “A little lower,” he goads.

  She doesn’t know he’s joking and looks lower until it hits her. She slaps the rag against his chest and snickers.

  “Another game?” Aidan asks the group.

  I shrug and wait for the girls to decide. While I’m waiting, I scan the room and spot Natasha’s large grey eyes across the pub, studying me. There’s confusion on her features, anger maybe.

  I don’t know when she got here, but if she saw the fight, I’m figuring she didn’t like witnessing it. God only knows what kind of brutality she saw and experienced while she was with Vojtech.

  I make a move to approach her just as Blake wraps an arm around her shoulders and leads her out of the pub. Shit.

  “Be right back,” I mumble and shove my way through the room to get to the exit.

  When I’m out on the sidewalk, I search the area for Blake and Natasha. I spot them thirty feet away hailing a cab.

  “Hey!” I shout and run their direction.

  “Hey,” Blake responds as he lets Natasha in the backseat of their cab.

  “Not stayin’?” I ask the stupid question.

  “Too much too soon,” Blake lies.

  I nod and lean over the door to talk to Natasha.

  “Sorry, Grey,” I apologize for my fight. I know that’s why she’s leaving.

  “I shouldn’t have come out. I need a bit more time,” she whispers not looking at me.

  “Get home safe,” I say softly before shutting the door.

  Blake claps my back a few times before rounding the trunk and folding into the backseat. I watch them drive away until I can’t see their taillights anymore.

  Well, that was a bust. I can only hope that I didn’t set her back. I don’t want to be the reason she’s hurting or struggling. If she were mine, I’d follow her home and make sure she was okay. No, I’d take her to my home and make certain she felt safe in my arms and in my bed all night. The friend zone sucks.

  Natasha

  “You ready?” Blake asks from my doorway.

  I nod and gather my purse before following him out to his truck. The last time Blake owned a vehicle was over a decade ago. It wasn’t a bad thing since him being behind a wheel during that time was a homicide by vehicle waiting to happen. I like sitting next to him in this old loud ugly thing. I feel like we’re teenagers again.

  We’re going to Sully’s house.

  I haven’t seen him in two weeks. Finn came over last weekend and helped Blake do something to the roaring beast I’m riding in. Kav came over Wednesday to annoy me and eat dinner with us. Shannon came over yesterday to check in from what I could tell.

  She was quiet while she was with us. I think she just wanted to see if I was okay for herself. I saw her briefly while I was in the hospital after the fire, but I haven’t seen her since.

  She was pissed the fuck off at Sully and Cara. That took precedence over a stranger’s wellbeing. I understood that then and I understand it now. She was scared. From what I know about the woman, she doesn’t do scared so she got mad instead.

  “This place is gonna be filled to the brim with people. You good with that?” Blake asks, cutting his eyes away from the road briefly.

  “I’ll be fine,” I say easily.

  I will be fine. We’re not going to a pub that’s about to break into a brawl. It wasn’t the fight that ran me off that night. It was Sully. He had picked up a woman for the night and was defending her. I was proud of him and disgusted with myself. I told him I just want to be friends, but in that moment, I was jealous. I’m woman enough to admit it and to be ashamed of it. I do this at least three times a week with other women. He told me. He meant it and I shouldn’t be surprised to see it. He owes me nothing.

  We pull up in front of the mansion and I take the time to enjoy the limestone façade as we walk along the landscaped path to the front door. Before we can knock, the massive dark wood door opens and Kav fills the space.

  “Hey, Tosh,” he greets me with an eyebrow wiggle followed by a rib-crushing hug.

  “Get off,” Blake mutters jokingly.

  “Oh, I’d love to get off,” Kav snarks and lets me go, but not before he grinds on me like Channing Tatum in Magic Mike.

  I laugh whole-heartedly as he bumps fists with my brother and stretches an arm out for us to go ahead of him. The whir of excitement is palatable as we make our way through the foyer into the great room.

  I spot Finn’s bright blue eyes first and offer him a small wave and a kind smile. He’s a good guy. He seems to feel the need to make sure I’m okay. He texts me at least once a day to check in and calls every other. If I didn’t know him, I’d think he was trying to build something romantic with me. But I know he’s genuinely concerned with how I’m doing. It’s nice to have that. I’ve only ever gotten that from Blake and I�
�m relieved he no longer has to shoulder that burden on his own.

  My mom was unperturbed by my absence from her life. She believed Blake when he told her I was busy. I’m half-grateful for that and half-disappointed. I’ve only spoken to her twice since I got home and both times we were cut off by her new boyfriend needing some attention. It’s always been like that.

  “Hey,” Finn murmurs into my hair, holding me closely to his broad chest. “Don’t be nervous.”

  “I’m okay,” I assure him with a pat on his ribs.

  “You want some iced tea?”

  “Love some.”

  He nods and heads into the kitchen with Blake as Kieran makes his way over to me. I’m not afraid of him like I thought I would be. He’s not Roman. He’s a good man that did his best to get me out of Roman’s world.

  “Hey, Natasha,” he greets shifting his baby on his chest a bit.

  The way he cradles his son makes my heart flutter. I miss Ivan so damn much it’s like a knife stabbing me in the gut every day. I’m in therapy and it’s helping, but only taking the edge off at this point. I’ll heal and move on with my life, but I’ll never forget the months I shared with Ivan, the love I feel for him or guilt I carry for not saving him.

  “Hi, Kieran,” I respond quietly.

  “I’m no good at shit like this so I’m just gonna say, I’m glad you’re safe. I’m glad you kept yourself whole. And I’m fuckin’ sorry I couldn’t do more to get you out sooner.”

  That was blunt and to the point.

  I clear my throat before I say, “Thank you for trying to get me. It meant more to me than you know. There’s no need to apologize.”

  “You’re thin,” he points out without any of the negativity his words might indicate.

  “I am.”

  “That because of Vojtech or you?”

  I snicker a little at the crime boss before me. There’s no mystery to him. He is what he is. I like that I don’t have to worry about saying something wrong with him. There’s comfort in not having to walk on eggshells with people these days.

  “Both I guess.”

  “Spend more time with Kavanagh. He eats like a horse.”

  “I’m not sure I can spend too much time with him. I’m afraid my brain may rot.”

  “No shit. Wear earbuds when he’s around.”