Embracing the Dawn

by Jeannie Levig

  Jinx sighed and her eyes shone. She grabbed E. J., pulled her hard against her, and covered her mouth in a heated kiss. No lingering touches. No buildup. Just need.

  E. J. molded against her in pure surrender.

  They kissed long and hard and deep, Jinx’s hands clutching at E. J.’s shirt, E. J.’s fingers twisting in Jinx’s hair, until they felt little paws on their legs and heard a soft whine from Pete.

  Jinx pulled away. “I guess we need to put the baby to bed first,” she said, her breathing ragged.

  E. J. laughed and groaned simultaneously. She rested her forehead on Jinx’s shoulder. “Welcome to parenthood.”

  “I’ll take care of Pete,” Jinx said, caressing the small of E. J.’s back. “Meet me in bed?”

  E. J. nodded.

  She lay naked beneath the cool sheet, watching Jinx. She loved the way she moved, the gentleness of her hands as she settled Pete into his bed, her slow strokes as she petted him until his eyes drooped closed.

  “He’s had a big couple of days. He’s sleepy,” Jinx said, straightening. She looked down at E. J.

  E. J. rolled to her back and pulled the sheet from her body. She met Jinx’s darkening eyes. “Your turn,” she said with a smile.

  Jinx paused, raking her gaze down E. J.’s length. Finally, with unexpected slowness, she gripped the hem of her T-shirt and pulled it up and over her head.

  E. J. took in the small, firm breasts, the rosy, stiffening nipples, the flat stomach and toned arms as Jinx stepped out of her jeans and left them on the floor. She reached for Jinx and wrapped her arms around her as Jinx eased herself onto her. Their bodies melded, flesh to flesh. E. J. gasped with pleasure. “You feel so good,” she whispered.

  Jinx moaned and lay still.

  E. J. closed her eyes, intensely aware of their hearts beating against each other. If not for the aching need between her thighs, she could have lain there, contented forever.

  At length, Jinx rose onto her elbows and framed E. J.’s face between her hands. She combed her fingers through E. J.’s hair as she stared down at her. “Thank you for staying,” she murmured.

  E. J. ran her palms up Jinx’s spine to cup the back of her head. She thought of how frightened she had been on the drive down. Her eyes burned with tears. “Thank you for letting me.” She pulled Jinx into a languid kiss.

  Jinx’s mouth was hot, and she slipped her tongue between E. J.’s lips at the same instant she slid her leg between E. J.’s thighs.

  E. J. lifted her hips, moaning at the pressure against her center.

  Jinx began moving against her, unhurriedly, deliberately. Her thighs parted around one of E. J.’s, and E. J. felt her hot, wet arousal.

  E. J. groaned and probed Jinx’s mouth deeper. She nipped, then sucked Jinx’s lower lip.

  Jinx jerked and ground against her.

  Desire flooded E. J.’s body, the same desire she always felt with Jinx, but there was something more this time. Underneath the pure lust and need lay that connection, that oneness she had fought back at other times they had been together. It had scared her before, but this time, it felt inevitable. This time, E. J. knew it was right. She opened to Jinx completely, opened those places Jinx had joked about that first morning without knowing the truth of her words, those places no one had ever touched—before Jinx. And now, here was Jinx again, touching them so tenderly, so deeply, E. J. thought she might disintegrate into a million tiny pieces. To her horror, she felt the swell of emotion and the sting of tears. She bit them back. She opened her eyes to find Jinx watching her as they kissed, as their bodies caressed one another. She lost herself in the deep blue of Jinx’s soul.

  Jinx eased away, trailing kisses down E. J.’s neck, leaving a path of sensation as though dropping breadcrumbs to find her way back to E. J.’s mouth. She ran the tip of her tongue along E. J.’s collarbone, teasing the underside until she eased lower still to find an aching nipple. She kissed it lightly, tenderly.

  E. J. gasped and arched into her.

  Jinx sucked as she pressed harder into E. J.’s throbbing center, keeping a rhythm that brought E. J. to the precipice of orgasm again and again without taking her over the edge.

  E. J. could feel Jinx’s need was just as intense, as with each thrust, she rubbed herself against E. J.’s thigh. But she wasn’t letting up, nor was she giving either of them any release. E. J.’s moans became one long groan.

  Finally, Jinx shifted and sucked E. J.’s other nipple into her hot mouth at the same time she slid her hand between E. J.’s legs and entered her, slowly and deeply.

  E. J. cried out in agonized pleasure. She needed release.

  Jinx sucked hungrily as she found E. J.’s clitoris with her thumb, circling it with each excruciating thrust into her. Her hips still pumped against E. J. in tandem with her thrusts.

  E. J. clawed at Jinx’s back. “Oh, God, Jinx. Please.” Each word rode a ragged breath.

  Jinx shifted with a sudden movement and pressed her pelvis against her hand as she continued her long, even strokes into E. J.’s swollen center. She quickened her pace. “Come with me, baby.”

  E. J. gripped Jinx’s hips and pulled her hard against her with each thrust, lifting her own to meet them. Her orgasm exploded from deep within her, heightened by Jinx’s cries of pleasure and her grinding motion that pushed her fingers deeper into E. J. and tore every spasm of release from her.

  They rocked against each other, slowing little by little, until every twinge, every pulse, subsided.

  Jinx lowered herself onto E. J. and nuzzled her ear. “I missed you so much,” she whispered.

  E. J. felt a sob gather in her soul, then make its way up her throat and out between her lips. She heard it as though it came from someone else. Tears slid from the corners of her eyes. She gripped Jinx and crushed her to her. “I can’t lose you,” she said as she cried.

  Jinx held her tightly. “I’m not going anywhere, baby. I’m right here.”

  Embarrassed, E. J. tried to collect herself. She had never cried after sex. She had been with women who had, but she had never. But then, this hadn’t felt like sex. It had been something else, something she had never experienced before. She had caught wisps of it the other times she had been with Jinx, but she had always shut it down, closed the door. This time, though…This time, she had…With the realization, another sob wracked her body.

  She had just made love…for the first time…ever.

  She let herself cry in Jinx’s arms.

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  Jinx lay with E. J. cradled in her arms, listening to her even breathing as she slept. The past two weeks had felt like a dream, beginning with the moment she’d realized E. J. really was staying with her after finding out about Tiffany’s visits. It had continued through each nightly telephone conversation—no matter where E. J. was—and peaked the previous evening when Jinx was able to touch her again, make love to her through the night, and wake with her this morning. Today was a workday for Jinx, but she’d left at noon after calling in a few favors to cover her afternoon appointments. And now, here she was, back in bed with E. J., with no intention of anything else for the rest of the weekend. Except maybe food.

  E. J. stirred slightly, and her fingers curled in a soft caress of Jinx’s chest.

  Jinx smiled. “Knock, knock,” she said quietly.

  She felt E. J.’s lips curve against the hollow of her shoulder. “Who’s there?”

  “Wanda.” Jinx ran her hand down E. J.’s bare back.

  E. J. shifted and looked up at Jinx. “Wanda, who?”

  “Wanda call out for Chinese?”

  E. J. laughed. “Why are all knock-knock jokes so bad?”

  “It’s their nature.” Jinx trailed a fingertip down E. J.’s spine and was rewarded with a shiver and the sight of E. J.’s lithe body arching into a luxuriant stretch. “Their inherent badness is what makes you laugh.” She sat up and pressed her lips to the back of E. J.’s neck.

  E. J. sighed. “You know w
hat I really want?”

  “Hmm.”

  E. J. twined her arms around Jinx. “I want one of your PB&Js.”

  Jinx lifted her brows in surprise. “You do?”

  “Mm-hm. I can get Chinese food anywhere, but that PB&J…”

  Jinx eyed her. “You’re just after my secret ingredient.” She lay against the pillow and pulled E. J. on top of her.

  E. J. grinned. “I am.”

  Pete whined from the side of the bed.

  “C’mon.” Jinx patted the mattress beside them.

  He jumped up and nestled in the blanket.

  “I think it’s so amazing that you taught him to ask for permission.”

  Jinx kissed E. J. lightly on the lips. “I knew there’d be times I didn’t want him in the middle of the bed.” She stroked Pete’s head. “And he’s a good boy,” she added to the dog.

  “He’s been very good this afternoon. He’s been so patient with all this sex and mushy stuff.” E. J. scratched behind his ear. “And he probably needs to go out.”

  “Tell you what. You handle that, and I’ll make the sandwiches. That way you can’t peek and discover my secret.”

  E. J. smiled and pinned Jinx with a sensuous kiss. “I’ll get it out of you someday,” she murmured.

  It was a joke, but Jinx loved hearing E. J. refer to the future.

  E. J. pulled on her jeans that’d been thrown on the floor the second Jinx had come through the door, then grabbed the T-shirt Jinx had been wearing and slipped it over her head. A bright smile lit her face. “You can put on the shirt I gave you. It brings out your eyes.”

  Jinx tensed. They’d talked about a lot of things in phone calls over the past couple of weeks—Jinx’s drug habit and Narcotics Anonymous; parts of her time in prison; Trisha; E. J.’s marriage; Marcus’s affair; her brief, uninteresting relationship with Rhonda; her grandparents; her friends Gwen and Taylor—but they hadn’t talked about E. J.’s retreat or how Jinx had coped with her feelings about it. They’d discussed the feelings themselves, but not the fact that she’d destroyed everything that reminded her of E. J.

  E. J.’s smile dimmed. “Oh.” Comprehension dawned in her eyes.

  “I’m sorry—”

  “It’s okay. I’ll get you another one. But this shirt…” She glanced down at the Canine Complete logo on her torso. “It’s going with me. I need something that smells like you when I’m away. Something to wrap around myself.” Her smile was back.

  “Okay,” Jinx said from the edge of the bed. “What do I get?”

  E. J. straddled her lap and looped her arms around her neck. “I brought something extra special for you to keep.”

  “Really? That sounds like it could be dirty.” Jinx grasped E. J.’s waist and pulled her tightly against her.

  “It could be.” E. J. rotated her hips. “Or it could just be something for you to snuggle with when you miss me.”

  Jinx nuzzled E. J.’s throat. “You have my attention.”

  “I know I do.” E. J. arched away and got back to her feet. “But for now, Pete needs to go out, and you promised me a PB&J,” she said as she danced out of Jinx’s reach.

  Jinx grinned as she watched her and Pete disappear out the back door.

  Once dressed, she retrieved the sandwich makings and thought about her secret ingredient. If E. J. only knew. As she spread the peanut butter, she heard the muffled sound of raised voices from the house next door. Both windows were closed, so the disagreement had to be a heated one. Pablo and his mother had been arguing more lately. She was pushing for him to quit the gang and finish school. Out of respect for their privacy, Jinx busied her mind with thoughts of E. J.

  A knock sounded at the front door.

  Jinx strode to answer it. She froze at the sight of Tiffany, all flushed cheeks and sparkling eyes.

  “Hi, Aunt Michelle. I’m sorry to barge in on you, but I dropped my cell in the toilet and lost all my contacts.”

  Jinx had seen Tiffany twice since she and Jacob had returned from Napa. Both times, they’d gone out to eat. Both times, Tiffany had called first to make arrangements. Neither time had she come to the house.

  “I know what you’re going to say. I should have used the backup function, and now I will. But I need your number again.” She held up what was evidently a new phone and waved it in the air. “And I thought we could schedule our next lunch, while I’m here. I owe you Thai. I won’t keep you. I can see you have company.” She glanced toward the driveway and tilted her head. “It’s so funny. That car looks a lot like my mother-in-law’s.”

  As if summoned, E. J. stepped in the back door.

  Pete dashed past her.

  “E. J.!” Tiffany said with obvious pleasure. “When did you get into town? We didn’t know you were coming. I was just telling Aunt Michelle…” She pointed to the car. She squinted slightly, then looked from E. J. to Jinx, then back again. “I’m sorry. I’m confused. I didn’t know you knew each other.”

  Jinx looked at E. J., her anxiety through the roof. There was no way of knowing how E. J. would want to play this.

  Her pallor was ashen. She pressed her hand to the doorjamb. “Tiffany,” she said, perhaps only to buy another split second. “Yes, we met at the wedding.”

  Jinx had no idea what to do, didn’t have a clue what E. J. was thinking. She wished she could stop time, or suspend it, so they could…What could they do? Tiffany was here.

  “Of course you do.” Tiffany laughed. “Otherwise, why would you be here?”

  After making a full circle of the room, Pete skidded to a stop in front of Tiffany.

  “What a cute puppy,” she said, leaning down to pet him. “What’s his name?”

  “Uh, Pete,” Jinx said, grateful, finally, for something to say.

  “Hi, Pete,” Tiffany said. She seemed to have forgotten about E. J. Or maybe the whole scene didn’t seem all that odd to her. How could it not, though?

  Pete bumped his nose against the keys in her hand, then grabbed them and ran off.

  “Hey, you can’t have those,” Tiffany said, going after him. She’d gone several steps before seeming to catch herself.

  Pete leapt into the center of the bed and burrowed into the blanket.

  Tiffany laughed. “He’s so cute. How long have you had him?”

  “Just a couple of weeks,” Jinx said. She passed a look to E. J. again. What the hell is she thinking?

  Tiffany watched Pete roll around in the covers, shake her keys, then try to dig a hole to bury them. She giggled, a wide smile shaping her mouth. Suddenly, her expression changed to one of confusion as she looked at Jinx, then comprehension, as she took in E. J. A deep blush crept into her cheeks. “Oh.” She put her hands to her face. “Oh, my gosh. I’m so sorry.” She turned toward the front door, then pivoted back toward the bed. “My keys. I’m sorry. I need my keys.”

  “Tiffany, wait. Please.” E. J. walked toward her. It was the other E. J.—the guarded E. J., the in-command E. J. “I met your aunt at the wedding, and we got to talking. She said she was interested in looking for a job with a company like mine, and I was in the area yesterday, so I brought her some information.”

  Tiffany studied E. J., then glanced at Jinx. “I thought you liked working at Canine Complete with your friends.”

  Jinx shifted her gaze to E. J. This was crazy. She knew how badly E. J. must be freaking out on the inside—even though she looked together on the outside, if a bit pale—to have said something so ridiculous, but she didn’t know how to help her. She’d learned the truth usually trumped crazy, though. And she wasn’t about to lie to her niece so E. J. could continue with her charade. “I do,” she said.

  E. J.’s eyes went cold.

  Tiffany turned back to E. J., her attention first on Jinx’s shirt, then on her bare feet. “E. J., it’s okay. You don’t have to pretend anything. If you and Aunt Michelle are happy together, I’m glad. It actually explains some things about you I’ve never understood.”

  E. J.’
s breathing became shallow. She looked panicked. “No, it isn’t what you—”

  “E. J., stop,” Jinx said gently.

  E. J. swayed and stumbled toward the bed.

  Both Jinx and Tiffany rushed to steady her.

  “Oh, God. This can’t be happening.” E. J. rubbed her forehead as they eased her onto the mattress. She hugged herself and began to rock. “Oh, God.” Tears rolled down her cheeks.

  Eyes wide with evident concern, Tiffany looked at Jinx.

  “She needs to hear it from you,” Jinx whispered.

  Tiffany swallowed. She squatted in front of E. J. and took her hand. “It’s really okay. I know a lot of lesbians, and gay guys, too. It’s not that big of a thing anymore.”

  “Jacob,” E. J. said, obviously trying to catch her breath. “Jacob doesn’t know.”

  “Well, that’s true.” Tiffany gave Jinx a sidelong glance. “He wants to fix you up with one of the senior partners at the firm,” she said to E. J. “His wife died a couple of years ago, and Jacob thought…”

  E. J. was staring at her.

  “Yeah, that won’t work.” Tiffany squeezed her hand. “Jacob would want to know, though. He loves you.”

  “No. No, he can’t…Please don’t…” E. J.’s breathing quickened again.

  “I won’t tell him,” Tiffany said softly. “I promise. That’s between you and him.”

  With that, E. J. began to calm. She got control of her breathing and wiped the moisture from her cheeks. “Thank you.”

  Tiffany smiled and rose. “Well, I’ve caused enough drama for one afternoon, so I’m going to leave you two to your day.” She still held E. J.’s hand. “And don’t worry. I won’t say anything, but please, think about telling him.” She picked up her keys from where Pete had dropped them and now sat watching the scene.

  E. J. gave a slight nod. “Thank you,” she said again.