'Til I Kissed You

by Pam Howes

  ‘Thanks,’ she replied, following him up the stairs and into the flat. ‘I could say the same for you. That shirt’s lovely. Is it new?’

  Roy glanced down at his brown, needle-cord shirt and nodded. ‘I bought it this week.’

  ‘It suits you, matches your eyes. Did Livvy choose it?’

  ‘No, I went shopping alone. Take a seat.’ He gestured towards the sofa.

  ‘I will, in a minute.’ She slipped off her jacket and threw it over a chair. ‘Show me round the flat first. This lounge is beautiful, and the fireplace is stunning, although I’m not too sure about the cushions and that rug. Plain cream or gold would have been classier.’

  ‘Ah, well, those are Livvy’s choice, I’m afraid.’

  ‘Why am I not surprised,’ she said, following him into the kitchen. ‘Very well equipped.’

  He led her down the corridor to the bathroom. She smiled at the towels on the floor. He picked them up and threw them over the towel rail. ‘Sorry, I forgot about those.’

  She picked up a bottle of aftershave, minus its top. The evocative aroma made her smile. ‘That scent brings back a million memories,’ she told him as she screwed the top back on.

  ‘Good memories or bad?’ He stared into her eyes.

  She shivered. ‘Mainly good.’

  ‘Would you like to see the bedroom?’ He raised a teasing eyebrow and smiled.

  ‘Might as well,’ she said.

  The brass bed had been hastily re-made, the duvet lying not quite straight, and Roy’s cast off clothes were in an untidy heap in one corner of the room. She was heartened to see nothing of Livvy’s in evidence.

  ‘It’s a lovely room, Roy,’ she said. ‘Don’t you have a laundry basket?’

  ‘No point,’ he replied. ‘I never used ours at home, did I?’

  ‘True. But you actually have to lift up the lid. The clothes don’t jump in by themselves.’

  ‘I know,’ he laughed. ‘But that’s work for women!’

  Sammy tutted. ‘Your mother has a lot to answer for, the way she ran around after you and your dad.’

  He smiled lazily, his dark eyes holding hers. ‘Fancy some lunch?’

  ‘I’d love a sandwich. Have you any juice?’

  ‘I’ll see what I can find. Take a seat. Will cheese and ham be okay?’

  ‘Lovely,’ she replied, sitting down on the sofa.

  Livvy’s touches were everywhere. Sammy shook her head and smiled. The girl was obviously enjoying playing house, but funnily enough it didn’t hurt like she’d expected it to. It was almost as though making love with Stuart had had a cathartic effect.

  Roy re-appeared, carrying a tray laden with sandwiches and two glasses of orange juice.

  ‘Very domesticated,’ she said as he placed it on the coffee table. ‘Have you been taking lessons from Ed?’

  ‘Don’t be sarky,’ he said, flopping down beside her. ‘I can do things when I have to.’

  ‘The flat’s lovely, Roy. I can see you’re quite comfortable. Err, Livvy not moved in with you?’

  He shook his head. ‘Not yet. She stays over, but says there’s no point in us getting used to living together just yet when I’m gonna be away with the band.’

  ‘Hmm,’ Sammy nodded, glad to hear that. ‘Are you looking forward to being on the road again?’

  ‘I am actually,’ he replied, biting into a sandwich. ‘In bed the other night I was thinking back to our first tour. When we were bottom of the bill and me and Ed wrote My Special Girl.’

  ‘Then soon you were top of the bill and the song went into the charts,’ Sammy said with a catch in her voice as the memories of that exciting time came flooding back.

  ‘I wish we could go back to those early days,’ Roy said wistfully.

  ‘Do you?’ She looked at him.

  He nodded. ‘They were wonderful times, full of discovery and simple pleasures.’

  ‘Jane and I often say that we wish we could go back, too, but knowing what we know now.’

  ‘Would you change anything?’

  ‘Nothing - except for the last few months.’

  ‘Same here,’ he said quietly.

  Sammy sighed. ‘Oh, Roy, what went wrong? We were so happy together.’

  He put down his sandwich and took her hands. ‘Me, that’s what went wrong, it was never you, Sam. You put up with a lot from me over the years; drugs, boozing, my being away all the time. Bringing up the boys on your own, working hard at your business and me expecting you to drop everything and give me your full attention the minute I walked through the door, as though no one else mattered. I’m sorry for everything I’ve put you through. This bloody mess I’ve got into now is just about the most disastrous thing I could have done to us and at the worst possible time.’

  She looked at their hands entwined on her lap and at Roy’s contrite expression. His eyes held hers for a few seconds before his arms crept around her and his lips sought hers.

  She clung to him, returning his insistent kisses. His hands slid under her sweater. The phone rang out, making them jump apart.

  ‘I’ll leave it,’ he whispered, moving back towards her.

  ‘What if it’s important? Maybe it’s Ed changing the time of your rehearsal, or something.’

  ‘Nothing is more important to me at this moment than kissing you, not The Raiders, not anything.’ The phone stopped ringing as Roy pulled her onto his knee. She unbuttoned his shirt, snuggling into him.

  ‘I love the scent of your body,’ she said.

  ‘And I love the scent of yours,’ he replied, yanking off her sweater. He unclasped her bra and she kicked off her shoes. As they slid down onto the rug he said, ‘Take off your skirt. This rug sheds like crazy and you’ll be covered in pink fluff.’

  She slipped out of the skirt and threw it onto the chair with her jacket, pushing the thought, that she was mad to be doing this with him, from her mind. The look in his eyes as he gazed longingly at her was enough.

  ‘Sam, you know nothing gets me more excited than the sight of you in black stockings and French knickers. Did you put them on specially?’

  ‘No. How on earth could I have, when I didn’t know I was going to be seeing you? And I certainly didn’t have this in mind when I called you earlier.’

  ‘But you want to?’ His eyes held such a pleading expression that she knew she was powerless to refuse.

  ‘Yes,’ she said and helped him take off his clothes. She reached up and kissed him. Nothing else mattered to her at this moment other than pleasing him. The phone rang again as he slid into her. They ignored it and rolled together on the rug, frantically swapping positions, lost in their lovemaking.

  ‘This is how much I love you and need you, woman,’ he gasped as he tipped her onto her back and his thrusting became urgent. ‘Christ!’ he said, clutching her tightly as she cried out with her own orgasm.

  He collapsed on top, bodies sticking together.

  ‘Sam, we’ve still got it, girl,’ he whispered, stroking her hair.

  She lay quietly, waiting for her breath to return, hardly able to believe what she’d done. How had she made love like that after spending the night in Stuart’s bed? She could feel her cheeks warming and hoped Roy would think it was the result of their passion.

  He cradled her to him, dropping kisses all over her. ‘I love you, Sammy; I love you so much it hurts. I can’t believe that just happened. I thought I’d never get to make love to you again. I really thought you didn’t want me anymore.’

  She swallowed hard. ‘I love you too, Roy, more than you know. So, what now?’

  ‘God only knows. What do you want?’

  ‘Everything to be as it was before you met Livvy, but that’s impossible.’

  The phone rang again and Roy reached over to answer it.

  ‘Hello. Oh, hi, Ed. No, I’ve been here all morning. I heard the phone ring, yeah, but Sammy’s here so I ignored it.’ He was quiet for a moment and then, ‘Okay, thanks for that. See you soon, bye.’
<
br />   Sammy smiled as he hung up. ‘What did he want?’

  ‘Livvy called him. She wondered where I was when I didn’t pick up. It was her ringing the first couple of times.’

  ‘Thank God you didn’t. That would have really put me off.’

  ‘I suppose I’d better give her a call, see what she wants. Do you fancy a shower? I’m sweaty and we’re covered in pink fluff.’

  ‘Yeah, in a minute. I’ll brew up while you make your call. Can I borrow a T-shirt?’

  ‘I’ll get you one from the bedroom,’ he said. ‘Any particular colour?’

  ‘You choose, so long as it covers my bottom.’

  He handed her a white T-shirt and she pulled it over her head while he watched her, head on one side. ‘What?’ she said.

  ‘Nothing, just checking it covers your arse!’

  ‘And does it?’ She grinned and twirled in front of him.

  ‘Just about. Anyway, no one can see us up here. We’re well set back from the road.’

  ‘I’d rather not take any chances. Make your call and I’ll put the kettle on.’

  ***

  Sammy smiled as she spooned coffee granules into two china mugs decorated with pink and blue butterflies. ‘She’s no bloody taste,’ she muttered. The kettle boiled and she popped her head around the door to see if Roy had finished his call.

  He was seated on the floor, leaning against the sofa and she could see the scratches on his back from her fingernails. He was still talking and her heart leapt as she gazed at his body, long legs stretched out on the rug.

  He hung up and turned his head. ‘She’s out to lunch. That was Sean wishing the band luck for the rehearsal. How about that shower, Babe? We can have our coffees later.’ He stood up, held out his arms and she moved into them.

  ***

  Livvy parked her Mini on the staff car park. Turning off the engine she rested her head on the steering wheel. She was late back from lunch and Sean would be mad. They were short staffed as it was with Jon away. She’d called Roy twice this lunchtime and when he didn’t answer she’d called Ed, who didn’t know where he was either. She’d driven to the flat to see if he was okay, convinced he’d fallen in the shower and knocked himself out.

  As she swung onto the semi circular drive of the big old house she saw Sammy’s Porsche parked next to his car and her stomach heaved. She sped off the drive, pulled up around the corner, leapt from the car and was sick in the gutter. What was going on now? She had a key but couldn’t face walking in on them, even if they were only talking, which she very much doubted, otherwise he would have answered the phone. Heart pounding, she drove back to work.

  As she stomped up the stairs Sean looked at her and frowned. ‘Now what’s up and why are you late back? Roy called you a few minutes ago. He’s probably left the flat by now, but he said he’ll see you tonight.’

  ‘Oh, did he?’ Livvy stormed into the staffroom, took off her jacket and washed her face. She flounced back behind the counter and sat down on the stool. ‘He’s an absolute bastard!’

  ‘Why?’

  She told him what had happened.

  He patted her shoulder sympathetically. ‘I’m sorry, Liv. There’s only going to be one winner in this mess. If it had been anyone other than him I would have said there may be good reason why he wasn’t answering his phone.’

  ‘But because it’s him you can only think of the obvious. He was screwing Sammy!’

  ‘Yeah.’

  ‘Maybe she went to see him over something to do with the house, or Jason, or the business?’ She knew she was grasping straws.

  ‘Well there’s always that, but it doesn’t explain why he didn’t answer. I’m not trying to hurt you. I’m trying to help you face the facts.’

  She nodded and grabbed the phone.

  ‘He’ll have left the flat by now,’ Sean said, looking at his watch.

  ‘I’m trying to catch Ed before he leaves,’ she replied. ‘He can pass on a message for me. Hi, Ed, it’s Livvy again. - Yes, I know he was at the flat, thanks. I don’t want to speak to him now, but would you tell him I won’t be round tonight, or any other night for that matter and I hope he enjoyed his lunchtime with Sammy. If he denies she was with him you can tell him I saw her car on the drive. Thanks.’ She slammed the receiver down and sat back with her arms folded. ‘That’s the last time the Cantellos make a fool of me.’

  ***

  CHAPTER THIRTY TWO

  ‘I’m back,’ Sammy announced as she dodged past her mother’s office and into hers and Jane’s.

  Jane looked up as Sammy closed the door. ‘Why are you wearing your shades in November and what’s happened to your hair?’

  Sammy removed the glasses, grinned and took a mirror and small vanity case from the filing cabinet.

  Jane tapped her chin with a pen and watched as Sammy applied makeup and fastened her hair back with a large slide.

  ‘That’s better. I took a quick shower with Roy, my makeup washed away and my hair was wet. He doesn’t have a nozzle on his dryer, so I couldn’t blow the ends under properly.’ She realised she was babbling and fell silent as Jane stared at her, eyebrows raised in amusement.

  ‘A shower with Roy, eh? So, what’s going on now?’

  ‘Oh God, I don’t know. I really don’t know, Jane.’

  ‘Well, I hope this is the start of you two getting your acts together. What will you say to Stuart? You can’t mess around with his feelings.’

  ‘I don’t intend to. Stuart knows how I feel about Roy and I hope he’ll see last night as nothing more than a drunken mistake. I love Roy, he loves me. We’ve just had the most amazing time. Took us both by surprise; I honestly had no intentions of that happening. It just did and it was incredible.’

  ‘Did you tell Roy you slept with Stuart?’

  ‘God no! He’ll go crazy when he finds out.’

  ‘He’s bound to find out sooner or later.’

  ‘Not unless someone tells him and there’s only you, Pat and Tim know.’

  ‘And Ed.’

  ‘How on earth did Ed find out?’

  ‘Tim told him and Ed rang to ask if it was true.’

  ‘They’re as bad as a bunch of old women for gossiping,’ Sammy tutted. ‘Well, I hope they don’t say anything to Roy.’

  ‘They wouldn’t do that.’

  ‘I feel fit for nothing now and I’ve got loads to do this afternoon. Has Ruby been in with the children’s samples in the cord and check?’

  ‘No, but I’ll go and chase her up while you catch your breath.’

  ‘Thanks, Jane. I need to get them into the shops next week, see how they go before I order more fabric.’ Sammy slumped in her chair and yawned loudly. ‘Oh, sorry, I just want to sit here for a while and calm down, my heart’s racing. Dear God, I can’t believe what I’ve done. It’s almost like sleeping with Stuart made me feel guilty and I had to make things right with Roy, without him knowing why. Isn’t that mad when you consider what he’s done to me? I can’t make any sense of it at all.’

  Jane smiled. ‘Well at least it’s made you realise you can’t let him go that easily.’

  Sammy nodded. ‘But it doesn’t make Livvy and the baby disappear. The flat’s full of blonde bimbo stuff. Naff cushions, a pink rug that sheds fluff everywhere. What on earth was Roy thinking, letting her choose things like that?’

  ‘Well you said yourself he wouldn’t have a clue.’

  ‘Has Pat called while I’ve been out?’

  ‘Yes, she’s dropped Tim at our place and then she’s taking the girls for their school uniforms. They start next Monday. God help Manor Banks with two more Raiders’ kids to educate. By the way, Phil Jackson’s got two exes and six kids!’

  ‘I’m not in the least bit surprised,’ Sammy said.

  ‘He’s free again now and he’s had a vasectomy,’ Jane said. ‘So he’s raring to go.’

  ‘Well, he’ll certainly enjoy himself on the road!’

  ***

  Eddie was
standing by his Jeep, finishing a cigarette as Roy pulled onto the car park of the factory conversion where the rehearsal studio was situated. He leapt out, grinning like the proverbial Cheshire cat, and slid down the wing of his BMW.

  ‘Hi, Roy,’ Eddie greeted him. ‘Do you recognise this place?’

  ‘Should I?’ Roy frowned, looking up at the three-story building that also housed craft studios and artists’ workshops. ‘Oh yeah! It’s the old paint factory where you used to work.’

  ‘It certainly is. I’ve come a long way since those days.’

  ‘Bloody hell, mate, you’re not wrong there.’

  ‘My gear’s inside. Give us a guitar to carry.’

  ‘Thanks, Ed. I’ve brought three. You take the Strat.’

  ‘There’s the old lift up to the third floor where we’re rehearsing,’ Eddie told him, leading the way.

  ‘Thank Christ for that! I’m knackered before we begin,’ Roy said as Eddie pressed the lift button.

  ‘Everyone’s here. I warned them you might be a bit late. So, have you been discussing stuff with Sam?’

  ‘Amongst other things,’ Roy replied airily as the lift door opened.

  In the lift Eddie glanced sideways at Roy’s beaming face. ‘What other things?’ he asked, pressing for the third floor. ‘You mean….?’

  Roy nodded. ‘The most mind blowing shag I’ve had in ages!’

  ‘But I thought…’ Eddie trailed off.

  ‘Thought what?’

  ‘Nothing, I presumed you were talking, that’s all.’

  ‘So did we. She called me, I invited her over, made lunch, we got talking about old times and that was it, I couldn’t keep my hands off her.’

  ‘What about Livvy?’

  ‘Oh she wasn’t there,’ Roy quipped. ‘It was just the two of us.’

  ‘Stop pissing about!’

  ‘Sorry, Ed, I couldn’t resist. I don’t honestly know. All I do know is that I love Sam, she loves me and I think I’ve got a final chance with her. There has to be a way of resolving this mess, because I want Sammy back more than I’ve ever wanted anything in my life right now.’