'Til I Kissed You

by Pam Howes

  ‘Sounds fair enough to me, but we’ll talk some more later,’ Eddie replied as the lift creaked to a standstill. They alighted and made their way down a long, carpeted corridor to the rehearsal studio, where the rest of the band was tuning up.

  The studio, run by two local ex-musicians, was well equipped. In the corner, Carl was entertaining them all, doing Jerry Lee impersonations on a brand new piano.

  ‘This is a brilliant place, Ed,’ Roy exclaimed, looking round. ‘Plenty of space to move around and the ceiling height’s just right. We should get a great sound. We could have used their PA system, too, save lugging ours around.’

  ‘Frank’s booked it for three afternoons a week until Christmas,’ Eddie said. ‘We can re-book in January if we feel the need. We can always run through stuff at my place. Right, let’s get sorted and cracking.’ He picked up his drumsticks and looked at Roy who was removing his Fender from its case and chatting animatedly to Phil. It was obvious to Eddie that Sammy had not mentioned her night of lust. Roy was too happy for one thing. Ah well, she must know what she’s about, he thought.

  ‘Ready, lads?’ Roy called. ‘Let’s warm up with Summertime Blues. Two, three, four!’

  They launched into the old Eddie Cochran favourite closely followed by Chuck Berry’s Sweet Little Sixteen, with Roy in his element, duck-walking up and down the room.

  Dave and Geoff, the studio’s proprietors, were laughing at his antics and cheered loudly as the song finished.

  By the end of the first set, sweat was dripping from them all. Eddie stripped off his top and rubbed himself down with a towel. He delved into his bag for a clean T-shirt and a bottle of Lucozade. ‘Shit! That was brilliant,’ he said, slugging back his drink. ‘But I’m really out of condition. My back and shoulders are killing me.’

  ‘We’re all out of condition,’ Roy laughed. ‘We need to join a gym or we’ll never cope with the pace of playing night after night for weeks on end. But I really enjoyed that. We’ll slow the pace a bit and do a few ballads when we catch our breath. Have you got a spare drink, Ed? I completely forgot to bring anything with me. I was in such a rush to get here.’

  ‘In the bag,’ Eddie replied. ‘Help yourself.’

  They started the second set with My Special Girl, Roy and Eddie’s voices filling the room with their harmonies.

  ‘Sounds as good as it ever did,’ Phil said. ‘That’ll get ’em all weeping and chucking their knickers on stage!’

  ‘Well it never fails to move Jane, Sammy and Pat,’ Eddie said.

  ‘Not Sammy anymore, surely?’ Phil looked at Roy.

  ‘I think I can safely say it will still have an effect on Sammy,’ Roy replied.

  Tim caught Roy’s eye. ‘What have you and Sammy been up to, or need I ask?’

  Roy shrugged. ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘You know full well what I mean. You and Sam, what’s going on?’

  ‘We love one another.’

  ‘Well in that case sort yourselves out and get back together. Loads of guys have affairs, they even father kids, but they don’t break up their marriages.’

  ‘That was Sammy’s choice, not mine. I never wanted us to split up in the first place.’

  ‘Well you’ve obviously made a move to patch things up today,’ Phil chipped in. ‘Don’t let Sammy slip through your fingers again. You’re making the same mistake I made with Laura. I let her go instead of fighting for her. My second marriage failed because I’m still in love with Laura.’

  ‘Really, are you?’ Eddie looked at Phil who was usually so flippant in his comments about marriage and women.

  Phil nodded sadly. ‘It kills me when I go and visit the kids and she’s there with her new bloke. I could throttle the bloody life out of him. The grass might appear greener, but believe me, Roy, it’s not.’

  ‘I’ll second that,’ Eddie said. ‘Right, before we continue, are we all agreed that Roy should be back with Sammy, where he belongs?’

  ‘Yes!’ The group was one voice.

  ‘Okay, okay, if she’ll have me,’ Roy said.

  At the end of the rehearsal and as they loaded their cars, Eddie took Roy on one side. ‘Come back and eat with us tonight.’

  ‘What about Livvy? She’s coming over later. I need to talk with her, Ed. Though Christ alone knows what I should say. I promised her the earth the other day, a new home, more kids when she wants them. I’m a bastard, I really am.’

  ‘She’s not coming to the flat. When she couldn’t get an answer to her calls she was worried. She drove to your place and saw Sammy’s car on the drive.’

  ‘Shit! So she called you again and told you that, did she?

  Eddie nodded. ‘She put two and two together. She said to tell you she won’t be round tonight, or any other night for that matter!’

  Roy sighed heavily. ‘Right, well I suppose I might as well follow you home then. Do you think I should call her or leave it for now?’

  ‘Leave it for now; you’ve screwed her up enough. I don’t know how much more she can take.’

  ‘Maybe you’re right,’ Roy nodded.

  ***

  Livvy dug out her address book. She looked up a number and dialled it before she had a change of heart. The call was answered by a woman whose voice she didn’t recognise, but she guessed it was Tim Davis’s wife, by the slight American accent. The woman told her Sammy was working late. Livvy scribbled down the number she was given. This time Jane answered the call. Spurred on by the friendly tone in Jane’s voice, she asked to speak to Sammy.

  ‘Hold on, I’ll pass you over.’

  ‘Olivia.’ Sammy’s tone sounded shocked but cool.

  ‘I’d like you to pass on a message to Roy, please,’ she began.

  ‘Why can’t you speak to him yourself?’

  ‘Because no doubt you will see him before I do.’

  ‘Oh - will I?’

  ‘Well you saw him at lunchtime. Your car was on the drive. You just won’t let him go, will you? You say you don’t want him, yet you’re determined to keep him from me. We love one another; I’m having his baby. He wants it no matter what he tells you. We’ve even chosen names. I can’t cope with this anymore. Tell Roy I’m going back to Glasgow. I’ll let him know when the baby arrives. You can have him back, Sammy.

  ‘You’re the one wanting your cake and eating it, not Roy. I know you’ve also got Stuart in tow. He called in the shop this evening. I overheard him telling Sean that everything’s great with the two of you and that you spent the night together. You and Roy are tarred with the same brush, messing about with people’s feelings.’ Livvy felt close to hysteria then Jane’s voice came soothingly down the line.

  ‘Calm down, Livvy, I can hear you over the other side of the office. Now listen to me. All this shouting is not good for your baby. Are you at home? Okay, me and Sammy will be with you shortly. Sit on the sofa, relax, and take some deep breaths.’

  ***

  ‘Come on, we’ve got to go to Livvy’s place before she miscarries that child,’ Jane ordered. ‘She was in a state just then. You can tell me what she said on the way over there. Grab your bag and get in my car. Go on, Sam, move yourself.’ Jane handed Sammy the car keys, switched off the lights and pushed her out of the door.

  ‘So, come on, what did she say to you?’ Jane asked as they headed for Jackson’s Heath. ‘You’re white as a sheet.’

  ‘She knows I spent the night with Stuart. She’ll tell Roy. He’ll hit the roof.’

  ‘Hey, hang on. Get it into perspective. You’re not the one at fault here.’

  ‘It doesn’t matter, Jane, he’ll never forgive me. I’ll lose him to her again.’

  ‘Not if he’s got any sense,’ Jane muttered grimly. ‘Where is he tonight?’

  ‘At the flat I presume. We didn’t actually make arrangements to meet up. I suppose we thought it wasn’t necessary. I was going to call him later.’

  Jane nodded. ‘I’ll stop at that phone box down the road and call Ed. He should be
home by now. He’ll know where Roy is.’

  ‘Don’t tell him we’re going to Livvy’s. I don’t want Roy turning up until I’ve persuaded her to keep her mouth shut. Though God knows how I’m going to do it.’

  Jane stopped at the phone box and jumped out of the car. She was back in minutes and put her foot down. ‘Roy’s at our place with Phil. Ed wondered where I was. I forgot to tell him I was working late. I told him we’re taking some stock to the Westlow shop and he suggested we go back for something to eat after we’ve finished.’

  ‘Oh, that’s good. Right, let’s get to Livvy’s and sort this mess out.’

  ‘Now which road is Livvy’s? Jane asked as they drove through Jackson’s Heath.

  ‘Second on the right.’

  ***

  Sammy pressed the intercom and the catch was released. The door to flat seven was ajar but Sammy knocked before they entered. Livvy was in the bedroom throwing things into a suitcase. Sammy noted her pale, tear-streaked face and shaking hands.

  ‘What are you doing?’ she asked as Jane went into the room and put her arms around Livvy’s shoulders.

  ‘I told you I’m going back to Glasgow,’ Livvy sobbed. ‘I can’t stay here with all this mess going on around me.’

  ‘Well whose fault is it? This mess I mean?’ Sammy said from the doorway. She couldn’t bring herself to step into the room where Roy had screwed the girl.

  ‘Sammy!’ Jane warned as Livvy’s shoulders shook even more. ‘Livvy, come and sit down and I’ll make us a nice cup of tea.’

  Sammy walked ahead into the lounge, her stomach churning. Seeing Livvy again with Roy’s child growing inside her tore her to pieces and she wished with all her heart that she could have another baby with him. She sank down onto the sofa before her legs gave way.

  Livvy flopped onto a chair and folded her arms protectively over her bump as Sammy’s eyes bore into it.

  Jane came in with three mugs and sat down beside Sammy.

  ‘I haven’t sugared them,’ she announced, handing them round.

  ‘I don’t take sugar,’ Livvy replied.

  ‘Neither do we,’ Jane said. ‘We’re sweet enough!’

  ‘That’s what Roy said, first time he came here,’ Livvy said quietly.

  ‘Did he?’ Sammy felt sick as she pictured her man, sitting on the sofa drinking tea, long legs stretched out in front of him. She shook her head to clear the vision. ‘Right, we need to get a few things straight. I’m going to ask some questions. Do me the courtesy of being absolutely truthful.’

  Livvy nodded. ‘I’m sick and tired of lies.’

  ‘Well that’s something we agree on,’ Sammy muttered. ‘On the Saturday morning, when I walked in on you and Roy at The Grand, had he invited you over or did you go to find him of your own accord?’

  Livvy looked her in the eye. ‘I phoned a few hotels; he was easy enough to track down. He wasn’t expecting me. As far as I was concerned, we had unfinished business.’

  ‘I see, and then what happened?’

  ‘He bought me a drink, asked me to join him for a meal.’

  ‘And afterwards?’ Sammy swallowed hard.

  ‘He asked if I’d stay the night,’ Livvy replied.

  ‘Did it never occur to you to say no?’ Jane asked.

  ‘Why should it? I knew he would ask me. He can’t resist me, you see.’ She stared defiantly at Sammy.

  Although she felt like shaking Livvy’s head off her shoulders, Sammy kept her cool and continued. ‘I suppose he told you I was collecting him to go to the airport the following morning?’

  ‘Of course. He suggested I run a bath while he called you to make final arrangements, before he joined me in it.’

  Livvy seemed to be enjoying rubbing salt in her wounds and Sammy saw red. She stood up and paced the room. ‘Right, lady, that’s enough. Thanks for being honest with me. Now I’ll be honest with you. If I can forgive Roy for everything he’s done with you, don’t you think that me spending one night with Stuart is small potatoes by comparison? I told Roy earlier that I’d slept with Stuart,’ she fibbed. ‘It doesn’t make a blind bit of difference to how he feels about me. You can’t have him, Livvy. I’m not divorcing him and he’s so thrilled to have another chance that he can forgive me anything.

  ‘He’s moving back home. So you can’t hold my night with Stuart over my head, because it simply won’t wash. Stu knows I love Roy. Deep down he also knows that he and I are just good friends.’ Sammy took a deep breath and sat down again, looking at Jane for further inspiration.

  ‘I think you should speak to Roy before you go rushing off to Scotland, Livvy,’ Jane advised. ‘You can’t just up sticks and go like that. Roy has rights to his child.’

  Livvy jumped up and stared white-faced at them. ‘Roy Cantello’s ruined my life. He has no rights, no rights at all. I didn’t plan to fall in love with him, or have his baby. It just happened. If you two are back together then what happens to me now?’ she directed at Sammy.

  ‘What do you mean, what happens to you?’

  ‘Sit down, Livvy,’ Jane said gently, giving Sammy a warning look. ‘What plans did you have before you got pregnant?’

  Livvy dropped back onto her chair and sighed. ‘To sing professionally. Roy promised to help me.’

  ‘And you still could. Why not have the baby adopted and carry on with your life?’ Sammy suggested.

  ‘Roy would never allow that.’

  ‘Have you discussed adoption with him?’ Jane asked.

  ‘No. He wants this baby. The other night he lay with his head on my tummy for ages, singing to it. He told it little stories and the names we’ve chosen.’

  Sammy smiled faintly. She could picture him doing just that. He’d done exactly the same thing during her pregnancies.

  ‘What names have you chosen?’ Jane asked.

  ‘Harley and Joshua,’ Livvy replied proudly.

  ‘Roy’s favourite bike,’ Sammy said.

  ‘And Ed’s,’ Jane smiled.

  ‘What bike?’ Livvy frowned.

  ‘Harley Davidson’s. The lads loved them when they were teenagers,’ Jane replied.

  Livvy tutted softly. ‘Trust Roy! Fancy naming your daughter after a bike. So, what now?’

  ‘I don’t know what to suggest,’ Sammy said. ‘But I think you should stay around until the baby arrives and then make a decision about your future. Did Roy transfer money into your account?’

  ‘Yes, thank you. More money than I ever expected.’

  ‘We promised we’d look after you and the child. But I want my man back, Livvy and this time I’m keeping him. Do you understand what I’m saying?’

  ‘Yes,’ Livvy nodded, ringing her hands.

  ‘Roy and I will come here together and talk to you next week. We’ll discuss things further then.’ Sammy stood up and Jane took her cue.

  ‘Goodbye, Livvy.’ Jane patted her arm gently.

  ‘Bye, Jane and thank you.’

  ‘You’re welcome,’ Jane said as she and Sammy left.

  ‘Thank God that’s over,’ Sammy muttered, closing her eyes as she sank into the passenger seat.

  ‘You do realise what you said to her, don’t you?’ Jane said as she switched on the engine.

  ‘Yes.’ Sammy sighed loudly. ‘I’ve now got to face Roy and tell him I slept with Stuart and ask him to move back in with me. Not such a tall order, is it, Jane?’

  ‘God help you!’

  ***

  After Sammy and Jane left, Livvy lay on her bed, her mind going over their suggestion of adoption. If she was honest with herself, it made a lot of sense. How the hell was she supposed to cope on her own? Mind you, even if they were together, Roy would be away a lot of the time anyway. She felt strangely calm about the whole thing. It was never going to work with him. There was always the worry that he’d go back to Sammy.

  Her child needed two parents, but what if the adoptive parents were as bad as the ones she’d ended up with? The whole thing needed a lot
of thinking about. Tomorrow she was having dinner with Sean and Tina. She’d share her problems with them, see what they thought about the adoption idea.

  ***

  A very noisy party was in progress at Hanover’s Lodge. Katie was sitting on Uncle Roy’s knee, singing along with him, Dominic was hammering a saucepan with two of his dad’s old drumsticks, Phil was banging on the kitchen table with spoons and Eddie was leaning against the dresser, smiling.

  Sammy grinned and stuck her fingers in her ears as she and Jane walked in.

  ‘Hi, Phil,’ they shouted above the racket. ‘It’s good to see you again,’ Sammy added.

  ‘Auntie Sammy, Uncle Roy said you’re his special girl,’ Katie called out.

  ‘Did he now?’ Sammy smiled at Katie.

  Roy winked at Sammy and putting Katie down he walked across the kitchen, slung his arm around her shoulders and whispered, ‘I love you.’

  He’d been drinking or smoking pot, Sammy couldn’t decide which, but he was definitely mellow. Strike while the iron’s hot, she thought. ‘I love you too, Roy.’ She took his hand. ‘Can we go back to your flat? We need to talk.’

  ‘Only if you promise to stay the night,’

  ‘I will,’ she replied, feeling in his jacket pocket for his keys. ‘My car’s at the factory, so we’ll use yours. But I’ll drive, you don’t look very capable.’

  ‘Whatever you say. You’re all witnesses to that.’ Roy smiled gleefully at the others. ‘She’s promised to stay the night. Lead the way, Sam.’

  ‘Bye, you two,’ Jane called after them and closed the door.

  ***

  ‘You’re a flighty little piece, Katie Mellor,’ Jane said as her daughter clambered onto Phil’s knee. ‘Flirting with Uncle Roy and now Uncle Phil.’

  ‘Uncle Phil’s got four little girls,’ Katie announced, ‘and he’s got twin boys,’ she directed meaningfully at her dad.

  ‘Don’t start all that again about not being born a twin with Jess,’ he warned.

  ‘Well Phil did it properly!’ She ducked out of the way and shot across the kitchen as Eddie playfully tried to grab her arm.

  ‘That little monkey’s getting to be more than a handful,’ he said.

  Jane laughed. ‘God help us! Go upstairs and get ready for your bath, Katie. You too, Dom. Pour me a G&T, Ed while I sort them out. Did you think to save me any supper?’