'Til I Kissed You

by Pam Howes

  ‘It’s in the oven. There was enough for Sam, too. ’

  ‘I’ll have Sam’s,’ Phil said. ‘You make a mean chicken curry, Ed. I could manage another plateful.’

  ‘So, how’s Phil?’ Jane asked, bending to kiss his cheek.

  ‘Phil’s just fine,’ he replied, giving her a hug. ‘In fact, he’s raring to go.’

  ‘So I heard. Have vasectomy, will travel, eh?’ she laughed.

  ‘Something like that, Jane. I need to find me a new woman and soon, before I go crazy.’

  ‘Roy’s got one going spare,’ she quipped. ‘Oops, sorry, I didn’t mean to be so flippant about Livvy. Poor kid, she was in a bad way tonight when we called at her flat.’

  ‘What?’ Eddie said, handing her a drink. ‘You’ve been to see Livvy? I thought you were going to the shop? You’d better explain what’s going on, Jane.’

  Eddie and Phil sat back on their chairs as Jane told her tale.

  ‘Sammy’s actually prepared to tell Roy she slept with Stuart?’ Phil shook his head. ‘He won’t like that.’

  ‘He’ll be gutted,’ Eddie nodded. ‘But at least it will put it all behind them. He wants Sammy back more than he’s ever wanted anything in his life. He admitted that this afternoon.’

  ‘If that’s the case, he’ll find it easy enough to forgive her. After everything he’s put her through, it’s no big deal,’ Jane said.

  ‘So what’s Livvy going to do?’ Phil asked curiously.

  ‘I don’t know. Sammy suggested they get together to talk next week. We’ll have to await the outcome of tonight first and see what happens.’

  ***

  ‘I’ll have to leave early in the morning to get ready for work,’ Sammy announced as she swung onto Roy’s drive. She felt a rush of heat to her cheeks, thinking, this was two nights running that she’d spent away from her own bed without so much as a toothbrush.

  Roy smiled and took her hand as they ran up the staircase to his flat. He swung her up into his arms and carried her over the threshold.

  She giggled as he put her down, huffing and puffing. ‘I’m not as fit as I used to be,’ he panted.

  ‘And I’m probably a bit heavier than I was the last time you carried me over a threshold,’ she laughed.

  ‘Never,’ he said. ‘You’re as slim as you ever were.’

  ‘Probably the stress of the last few months,’ she replied wryly.

  ‘Come here.’ He took her in his arms and kissed her. ‘I’m going to spend the rest of my life making that up to you.’

  She kicked off her shoes and he pushed her jacket off her shoulders and threw it over a chair. He pulled her down onto the sofa. ‘I’ve been floating on clouds all afternoon.’

  ‘Have you?’ She smiled and stroked his cheek. ‘How was the rehearsal by the way?’

  ‘Brilliant! Fucking brilliant! Even after all this time we were still shit hot.’

  ‘Stop blowing your own trumpet,’ she teased.

  ‘I’m not. We were, honestly. Anyway, what do you want to talk about? Or was that just an excuse to get me alone so that you could have your wicked way with me, again. I hope it’s us you want to talk about.’

  ‘Yes, Roy – us - Livvy and Stuart.’

  She saw his jaw tighten and he raised a wary eyebrow. ‘Where does Stuart fit into this?’

  She took a deep breath. Get the worst bit out of the way first.

  ‘You know that I’ve been seeing him, don’t you?’

  ‘Yeah. Well I know you’ve been out with him a couple of times for meals. Ed and Tim told me.’

  Sammy looked at him and took another deep breath. She felt sick. ‘There’s no easy way to tell you this. I slept with Stuart last night.’

  She watched his colour drain and his eyes widen in horror. He pushed her away and stood up, fists clenched. She shrank back against the cushions waiting for the onslaught. Instead, he turned and hurried out of the room, slamming the door behind him. She heard the bang of his bedroom door and then silence. Her heart thudded loudly in her ears and she sat for what seemed like ages, but in reality was a minute.

  Should she go to him, or stay put until he came back to her? She stood up and walked to his bedroom door. She needed to be with him, and she sensed he needed her, too. He was lying face down on the bed, sobbing broken-heartedly into his pillow. ‘Roy.’ She touched his shoulder gently. ‘Roy, please don’t cry. I’m so sorry.’

  He leant up on one elbow, his stricken eyes gazing into hers. ‘No, Sam, I’m the one who’s sorry. I drove you into Stuart’s arms.’

  ‘Oh, Roy,’ she said. ‘I love you, I really do.’ She lay down beside him and he clung to her, fresh sobs wracking his body.

  ‘You’re my girl, Sam. You’ve always been mine. Don’t ever leave me again.’

  ‘You still want me, even after what I’ve just told you?’

  ‘Want you? I’ll show you how much I want you.’ He tore off her clothes and made love to her with a wild urgency that surpassed their lunchtime session. Afterwards he held her and kissed her like he’d never let her go. ‘You’re my woman, mine, not Stuart’s,’ he told her.

  ‘And you’re my man, not Livvy’s,’ she replied. ‘Roy, I want you to move back home immediately.’

  ‘Really?’ he stared at her. ‘Are you sure? What about Jason?’

  ‘Jason could move in here for the rest of your lease. Just while things settle down. It will give him some space and maybe Jules could share with him.’

  ‘That’s a good idea, Sam. There’s only one proper bedroom though. Jules would have to sleep in the little nursery.’

  ‘That will be up to Jason and Jules to decide, not us,’ Sammy said pointedly. ‘But Jason assures me they’re not having a sexual relationship at present.’

  ‘Oh, God!’ Roy shuddered. ‘It beggars belief that a Cantello can be batting for the other side!’

  ‘Roy, stop it. Don’t; spoil things,’ she said. ‘Jane and I went to see Livvy tonight. She called the factory and was hysterical because she saw my car here at lunchtime. She’s threatening to go back to Glasgow, but she’s agreed to wait until she’s spoken to you. I told her we’d go together and see her next week. She said you really want the baby and you’ve chosen names.’

  He nodded. ‘We have and I do want it. I certainly want contact with it anyway. But Livvy and I would never have worked out in the long run because I want to be with you.’

  ‘We need a fresh start, Roy. How would you feel about re-taking our marriage vows sometime?’

  He smiled. ‘I’d love to, very much in fact. Let’s do it soon, start as we mean to go on and put the last few months behind us.’ The bedside phone rang out, making them jump.

  ‘What if it’s her?’

  ‘Well, what if it is?’ Roy grabbed the receiver said ‘Hello’ and smiled. ‘Hi, Pat. Yes, she’s lying right here beside me as a matter of fact. I’ll pass you over.’

  ‘Hi, Pat,’ Sammy said. ‘Were you worrying about my whereabouts? What? Mum’s with you? Oh shit! Well yes, you can tell her I’m with Roy. Don’t tell her I’m in bed with him, she’ll go barmy! Yes, I know I’m nearly forty and I’m married to him, but even so, she won’t approve. Tell her we’re talking - anything that sounds innocent will do.’ She smiled at Roy who was nibbling her ears and stroking her thighs. ‘No, I’m staying here with him tonight. Yes, he knows about Stu. There are no secrets between us now. We’re going to retake our marriage vows and he’s coming home with me tomorrow for good.’

  Roy took the receiver from her. ‘Bye, Pat, Sam and me have a lot of catching up to do. We’ll see you tomorrow.’ He hung up grinning. ‘Come here, wife. Let’s practice for our second honeymoon!’

  ***

  CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE

  ‘The A529 takes us straight into Hastings,’ Jess said, running her finger across the map.

  ‘Okay.’ Jon turned to smile at her. ‘Have you enjoyed yourself, Jess?’

  ‘Very much. Have you?’

  ‘B
est time of my life. I’d like to spend every night with you from now on.’

  ‘Me too, I’ll miss you tonight.’

  ‘There may be a chance. Grandma might go to bed early.’

  Jess nodded, her mind going over the last forty-eight hours. Both nights they’d dined on The Lanes followed by drinks in the hotel bar. The first day had been mainly taken up with visits to the estate agent and checking over Aunt Celia’s place.

  The house had smelt musty from being closed up. As Jess wandered from room to room, opening windows, she had an idea. She called Jon, who was in the attic checking for roof leaks and burst pipes.

  ‘Everything seems okay,’ he said, joining her in the lounge where she was sitting on the window seat. ‘What is it?’

  ‘We could live here. Why didn’t we think of it before?’

  ‘Here?’

  ‘Why not? It’s ideal. We can redecorate, fit new carpets and replace the kitchen. I’ll bring the furniture from my flat down. Jason and Jules could join us in college holidays, maybe even live with us when they finish their art courses. They could go to University down here. There’s a big gay community. I bet they’d jump at the chance.’

  ‘What would we do for work? Have you thought about that?’

  ‘Yeah, pub and college gigs. I could get a daytime typing job. Maybe there’s a music store looking for staff. We’d have no rent to pay. We can care-take the place and just pay the bills. Maybe even take in B&B guests if we did up a couple of rooms nicely. I’ll even learn to cook properly! We could make it work if we really tried.’

  Jon grinned at her eager expression. ‘You’re serious about this, aren’t you?’

  ‘Very. It’s a way we can be together. We’ll tell Dad and Mum we want a fresh start and we need to get away from Cheshire.’

  ‘Okay. We’ll talk it over with them when we get home.’

  Jon’s voice brought Jess back to the present. ‘I wonder how The Raiders rehearsals are going. We must remember to ask next time we call home.’

  She nodded and pointed to her right. ‘Your Gran’s place is on the next block. There it is. Number seventy.’

  Jon pulled onto the narrow drive of a white bungalow with its tubs of colourful autumn pansies by the door. The net curtains twitched then the glossy red front door was thrown open. Jess stared curiously at the elderly lady, with the blue rinse perm, who had put the fear of God into her dad. She looked harmless enough now, she thought, as she waited for Jon to help her out. He was hugging his grandma and planted a kiss on her cheek. He ran round to the passenger door and helped Jess to her feet. She shook his grandma’s outstretched hand as Jon introduced them.

  ‘Come inside out of the cold, Jessica. Can you manage, or do you need Jonathon’s arm to lean on?’

  ‘She needs my arm, Grandma,’ Jon said.

  ‘Well come into the lounge then.’ They followed her down the long hall and into a large, pleasant room where French doors overlooked the neat back garden. ‘Sit yourselves down. Would you like something to rest your foot on, Jessica?’

  ‘No thanks,’ Jess said. ‘And you can call me Jess.’

  Jon’s grandma smiled. ‘What about a nice cup of tea?’

  ‘That would be lovely.’

  ‘Need any help?’ Jon said as his Grandma left the room, leaning heavily on her walking stick.

  ‘I’ll call when it’s ready and you can carry the tray through.’

  Jon joined Jess on the sofa. She gazed round the airy lounge and her eyes alighted on a black and white framed photograph on the sideboard. A girl in school uniform.

  ‘Is that Angie?’ she whispered.

  Yes.’ He picked up the frame and passed it to her. ‘It’s same as the one Aunt Sally has. It was taken the year before I was born.’

  Jess nodded as she took in the pretty face, mischievous smile and curly hair of Jon’s mum. ‘She’s so young, only a kid.’

  ‘I know. She was lovely, wasn’t she?’

  ‘Very pretty,’ Jess said. ‘Nothing like I expected. That christening photo you have does her no justice. Roy told me she was the prettiest girl in class. She looks like she might have been fun, full of mischief.’

  ‘She was that all right.’ Jon’s grandma limped back into the room. ‘The tray’s on the worktop, Jonathon, if you wouldn’t mind.’

  ‘Yes,’ she continued as he left the room, ‘one thing you can safely say about Angela is that she was mischievous. But then, she had a good teacher, didn’t she?’

  ‘You mean Dad?’ Jess grinned.

  ‘I do, and may I say you look just like him. I’d know those big blue eyes anywhere.’

  ‘Everybody says that,’ Jess replied proudly.

  ‘Regular little tearaways, him and that Roy Cantello. Still, they’ve done very well for themselves. As I said to Jonathon the last time we met, Eddie and Jane have done a wonderful job of raising him. Angie would have been very proud of her boy.’

  Jon strode in with the tray and placed it on the coffee table. ‘Shall I be mother?’

  ‘Please, dear. No sugar for me. Cut that cake into slices and give Jess a piece. I tell you what I’ve got that you might find interesting. In the sideboard cupboard’s an old chocolate box. Pass it over please, Jonathon.’

  Jon obliged and handed her the box. She lifted the lid, sifted through a mound of photos and handed one to Jess.

  ‘Can you spot Angela and your father?’

  Jess studied each fresh young face on the black and white class photo. ‘Yes, and Roy and Tim, too. Look, Jon. How old were they when this was taken?’

  ‘Fourteen. This was a year later.’ She handed another class photo to Jess. ‘The final year photo is the individual one in the frame. Angela was sixteen then.’ She handed the box to Jon.

  Jess looked into the box and picked out another photo. She swallowed the lump in her throat as she gazed at the very youthful faces of her dad and Angie on their wedding day. Her dad looked as though he carried the woes of the world on his shoulders and Angie’s smile seemed forced. Silently she handed the photo to Jon.

  ‘That’s one wedding that should never have taken place,’ Jon’s grandma said. ‘It was a disaster from start to finish. They were a silly pair to get into such a mess. Still, they weren’t the first and they certainly won’t be the last. I’ll get off my soapbox now, because without their mistake Jonathon wouldn’t be here.’

  Jess grimaced as she wondered what on earth Jon’s grandma would make of their secret relationship. ‘Dad’s a wonderful man, Mrs Turner. He may have been a bit of a rebel, but he’s the best dad in the world. I’m very proud to be his daughter.’

  ‘I’m sure you are, Jess. You’re a lot like him in many ways, sticking up for what you believe is right. That’s a good quality in a person. If you’ve finished your tea I’ll show you to your rooms and you can unpack while I prepare lunch. I made chicken soup last night. It just needs re-heating. ‘

  Jon and Jess followed her to their adjacent bedrooms.

  ‘I’m just across from you, Jess. The bathroom’s next to me opposite Jonathon’s door.’

  ‘Thank you,’ Jess replied as Jon nipped out to the car for their cases.

  He dropped his outside his door and laid hers on her bed, pushing the door closed with his foot.

  ‘I think we can say goodbye to any nooky under this roof,’ Jess said. ‘She’d have you strung up by the balls and me stoned to death if she had any idea we’re lovers.’

  Jon grinned. ‘Let’s see how it goes. Maybe we could leave tomorrow morning and stay in a hotel tomorrow night. I’ll tell her we have to go early because there’s a problem at work and I need to be back for Saturday, or something.’

  ‘Brilliant idea. I think we’ll have had enough by then.’

  ‘Any sign yet?’ he asked, raising an eyebrow.

  ‘Nope.’

  ‘Do you feel pregnant?’

  ‘Jon, how the hell would I know? I’ve never been pregnant.’

  ‘No, of course. I
t was a stupid thing to say. But you’re four days late.’

  ‘Well I don’t feel sick or anything, just a bit bloated.’

  ‘Lunch is ready,’ Jon’s grandma called.

  They took their places at the dining table. Jon’s grandma ladled soup into bowls from a large tureen.

  ‘What did my grandfather look like?’ Jon asked, taking a bowl from her.

  ‘He was a handsome man in his youth. Very dashing in his naval uniform. I’ve a lovely photo of him, if you’d like it.’

  ‘Thank you, I would like,’ Jon replied, tucking hungrily into his soup.

  ‘This is lovely,’ Jess said, smacking her lips.

  ‘Thank you, Jess. I love homemade soups, they’re so filling.’

  ‘So do we. Dad makes a fabulous leek and potato and a cracking French onion. Doesn’t he, Jon?’

  ‘He certainly does.’

  ‘Yes,’ Jess continued, ‘he does most of the cooking and shopping and looks after our little brother and sister and he still finds time to write hit songs with Roy.’

  Jon’s grandma smiled. ‘I know he does, my dear, Jonathon told me. Don’t feel you have to convince me of Eddie’s worthiness. I knew him better than he thought I did.

  I’ve something else for you to take home. It’s in the loft so you’ll have to get the ladder out after lunch.’

  ‘What is it?’ Jon asked curiously.

  ‘A box of Angie’s bits and pieces. School reports, pop records, that sort of stuff. They’ll only get chuckled out when I die. I’d like you to have them because apart from you, they’re all that’s left of your mum’s past.’

  ‘Thanks, that’s brilliant.’

  ‘Now, who’d like sherry trifle?’

  ‘Oh, please,’ they chorused.

  Jon smiled at Jess as his grandmother left the room. ‘See, she’s not so bad really.’

  ‘She’s okay, but I don’t like it when she has a pop at dad. She’s calling you, Jon.’

  He jumped up, returning seconds later carrying a large cut glass dish.

  ‘Help yourselves,’ his grandma said, placing a jug of cream on the table.