Running to Stand Still

by J Theron

  Danielle was laughing at some inane comment Marco made and she placed her hand on his leg when she downed her sixth shot. She was not much of a drinker and her head was already spinning. She did not notice Michael as he approached and she almost jumped out of her skin when he touched her back.

  “It’s time to go home, Danielle.” It came out as a command and it immediately aggravated her.

  “Marco will take me home.” She had to concentrate not to slur her speech.

  “This is not a discussion. We’re leaving,” Michael said with a stern voice.

  “You are not my keeper, Mike. I can leave with whomever I like. I’m sure Marco has a spare room in his house for a friend, just like you!” Danielle glared at him as she spoke.

  Marco looked from Danielle to Michael and suddenly it dawned on him why she was so angry. Marco rose from the bar stool and put his hands up in surrender as he spoke to Michael. “I didn’t realise, Michael. You know I would never make a move on your girl. Forgive me. I think it’s best if I go now.”

  Michael did not say anything, he simply stared at Marco with an annoyed expression on his face. Marco seemed indecisive for a few seconds before turning abruptly to make his way through the crowd on the dance floor.

  “What the hell has gotten into you?” Michael was seething as he turned his attention back to Danielle.

  She leaned closer before she said sarcastically, “I think the question is what have you gotten yourself into?”

  She glanced to where Adele was sitting and she could see the blond watching their argument. Adele had a smug smile on her face and when she saw Danielle looking at her she lifted her drink in recognition.

  “I’m going to be sick. Excuse me.”

  Danielle shot up from her barstool and rushed to the ladies room. She just made it in time. She retched for a few seconds before all the tequila came back up. She was mortified because she hadn’t vomited from alcohol since she was eighteen. She walked to the sink and washed her face and rinsed her mouth. At least she felt more sober. Michael was leaning against the wall just outside the bathroom door as she came out.

  “Are you all right?” he asked politely. She could see the rapid pulse in his neck and a muscle was jumping in his cheek. He was livid but he was hiding it.

  “Yes.”

  “Can we go home now?” he asked with exasperation in his voice.

  “Fine. I don’t really have a choice, do I?”

  “No Danielle, I’m afraid you don’t.”

  Michael grabbed her hand and pulled her to the exit. He opened the car door for her before he got in. They drove in silence and she leaned her head against the head rest, staring out the window. He did not speak when they arrived home and he walked straight to his bedroom to discard his clothes. She watched him in silence as he stripped naked and pulled on a pair of boxer shorts to cover his nakedness. He walked into the bathroom to brush his teeth and when he was finished he walked past her to go to his studio.

  Danielle heard the studio door slam and she snapped. She pulled her dress over her head and threw it on the floor in anger before she stripped off her panties and shoes. She marched to the bathroom and washed her face and brushed her teeth vigorously to get rid of the taste of tequila. She got into bed naked but she was boiling and she could not get a grip on her anger.

  “Screw this!” She shot out of bed and hastily pulled one of Michael’s T-shirts over her head before stomping to the studio. She burst through the door and marched to where he was standing in front of the half-finished canvas.

  “Did you sleep with that bitch?” Danielle spat out the words.

  Michael slammed down the brush on the wooden table as he turned to her. “Is that what this is about? Is that why you couldn’t keep your hands off Marco the whole night?” He was furious and he was trembling. “Did you have to get drunk to give yourself courage to screw me over?”

  “Answer my question. Did you sleep with her while you were with Lucienne?” Danielle was near tears but she refused to let him see how deeply Marco’s words hurt her. “Did you cheat on Lucienne with Adele as you cheated on Lucienne with me? Am I just one of your many conquests?”

  “What the hell are you talking about?” he asked in exasperation. His chest was heaving and he stood rooted to the spot.

  “Why did you not tell Marco and Adele that we’re involved? Are you ashamed of me? The only reason I could think of was that you were hiding it to keep your options open with Adele. You don’t have a girlfriend anymore, so nothing else makes sense.”

  “I didn’t tell Adele because she’s the biggest fucking gossip in Avignon and my private life is none of anyone’s business!”

  “You can go to hell, Michael. I felt like a total idiot being introduced as your childhood friend after what happened between us! I’m not a dirty secret that has to be kept hidden. Find another friend to sleep with!”

  She spun on her heels and ran out the door. She slammed the door so violently she momentarily thought she dislodged the door from the frame. She was halfway down the stairs when he came after her. She could hear the studio door hit the wall with force as he slammed it open. She had just reached the bedroom when he stormed through the bedroom door.

  She turned to face him and he stopped in his tracks, taking a deep breath before he spoke. “Danielle, I don’t like silly, childish games in an effort to make me jealous. You will not flirt with my friends again. Is that clear?”

  “No. That is not clear! You’re such a hypocrite. You’re allowed to drool all over your little blond slut but I’m not allowed to drink and have a good time with your friend?”

  “The only reason I spoke to her was because you stormed off with Marco! I most definitely did not drool all over her! What was I supposed to do when you draped yourself over Marco on the dance floor?” Michael glared at her.

  “So you were watching? I got the distinct impression that you were so engrossed with Adele, you didn’t notice anything around you!”

  “Of course I noticed! I also knew why you were doing it. What did you want me to do, Danielle? Storm onto the dance floor and claim you, or even better, get into a fight with my best friend. We’re not in high school anymore.”

  “Marco said that you had an affair with her when you and Lucienne were together but you didn’t want anyone to know about it! He said that Adele has left her boyfriend for you! Are you happy that she’s single? Now’s your chance. O wait, you are stuck with me,” she hissed.

  “Do you believe that?” Michael was watching her intently.

  “I don’t know,” Danielle sobbed.

  “Well Danielle, I guess this discussion is over. I will not even try to defend myself against such bullshit. I’ll see you tomorrow. Maybe we can have a rational conversation then.” He turned around and she lunged forward, grabbing his arm and spinning him around.

  “Michael, you’re not telling me the whole story. I know something happened between the two of you. I can feel it in my bones, I see it in the way she looks at me,” she persisted.

  “You should have asked me, not Marco! You do not respect me at all if you go behind my back and interrogate my friends. Let go of my arm.”

  “Not until you tell me what happened!”

  They glared at each other, neither backing down. She was gripping his arm and his chest was heaving from suppressed anger.

  “Fine. I fucked her. Eighteen months ago, long before Lucienne and I got together. I only realised afterwards what kind of person she was. She sprouts venom at every opportunity and I don’t trust her. She’s the last person I would ever tell anything even remotely personal to. If we were alone with Marco I probably would have told him about us, and even though I love him like a brother, he’s naïve and a sucker for a beautiful woman. He will believe whatever nonsense said beautiful woman spews forth. I’m not surprised you talked a hole in his head. The bottom line is I’m a private person and I don’t like to be kicked in the face for trying to keep my personal life personal. Now le
t go of my arm!” Michael did not make any attempt to pull his arm out of her grasp. Instead he stood motionless, waiting for her to let go.

  It slowly dawned on Danielle that she had made a monumental judgement error and her behaviour that night was completely unjustified and childish. She did not let go. She moved closer and slowly started to run her hands up his arms and over his shoulders. Michael stood dead still, his hands in fists next to his body. She let her hands slide over his back all the way down to his muscular buttocks.

  She leaned up and pressed her breasts against his naked chest as she whispered in his ear, “I’m sorry, Michael. I have never loved anyone the way I love you. The thought of you with another woman drives me crazy, especially if she behaves and looks like Adele. She makes me feel insecure and I get the feeling she’ll try something the moment my back is turned. I didn’t think clearly. Please forgive me?”

  “I’m still fucking pissed off with you,” he said in a voice tight with anger and he stubbornly refused to move.

  “Punish me then! Direct your anger towards me, just don’t walk away from me. I can’t take it.” Danielle gripped his face between her hands and looked up into his blue eyes. She could see the turmoil and indecision in them.

  “Danielle, I know I said I would let you go to another man if it was what was best for you. I realised tonight that was the biggest lie I’ve ever told. Seeing you touching and laughing with another man, even though I knew you did it to irritate me, drove me crazy. Don’t ever do it again.”

  “I understand. I only want you.”

  Danielle gasped as Michael grabbed her and kissed her with force. She was momentarily startled when he released her, only to bend down and lift her into his arms. He walked to the bed and dropped her unceremoniously in the middle.

  “Remove your clothes,” he said in a harsh command.

  She shrugged out of her T-shirt immediately and laid back against the head board of the bed to watch him in anticipation. His anger was frightening and exhilarating and she was already wet with arousal as he stared at her naked body. He pushed down his boxer shorts and she gasped when she saw how hard he was. He stepped out of them slowly and kicked them away. He was still standing next to the bed and he made no move to join her.

  His face was inscrutable as he said, “Open your legs.”

  She slowly opened her legs, her eyes never leaving his face.

  “I want you to touch yourself,” Michael said hoarsely. “I want you to feel how wet you are.”

  Danielle closed her eyes as she ran her index finger through her wet folds. She could feel the wetness coating her finger. He grabbed her hand and her eyes flew open. She watched as he put her finger in his mouth and sucked it clean.

  “You are mine. Do you understand?” His voice was harsh and commanded an answer.

  “Yes,” she whispered. “I won’t touch another man again.”

  “Good. I’m glad we understand each other,” he said as he took a condom from the nightstand and rolled it down his impressive shaft with deliberate slowness.

  Danielle was mesmerised as she watched his hand stroke up and down his erection and she could not take it any longer. “Michael, make love to me.”

  Her words seem to jolt him out of his passive aggressive mood and he grabbed both her ankles to pull her lower body over the edge of the bed and around his hips. She hooked her ankles around his waist where he was standing at the edge of the bed and lifted her hips as he entered her with a powerful thrust.

  She moaned as the intense pleasure radiated through her when he filled her to the hilt. He withdrew with agonising slowness before slamming into her again. She threw back her head in ecstasy when he lifted her hips even higher. He continued like that for a few minutes. His slow withdrawal and powerful thrusts drove her to the brink but was too slow to make her come. It was agony and blissful torture all in one.

  “Michael, please,” she moaned. She felt as if her body was on fire and he was the only one who could extinguish the blazing inferno.

  “What do you want, Danni?” he whispered.

  “I want you! I want you inside me. I want you to make me come over and over,” she gasped.

  Michael grabbed her hips even tighter and increased his rhythm to a relentless pounding. She could feel the orgasm building and when it ripped through her she screamed in ecstasy. He roared his release and collapsed next to her when he was spent. He smoothed her hair from her face when she looked at him.

  “Are you okay? Did I hurt you?” he asked softly.

  “No. It was amazing. I cannot move. If that is how you’re going to punish me when I make you angry, I might be tempted to be a very disobedient girl.” Danielle grinned at Michael.

  He continued to caress her, his hands smoothing over her abdomen. He seemed deep in thought and did not say a word as his hand rested on her abdomen.

  “What’s wrong, Michael?” She placed her hand over his where it was resting on her stomach.

  He stared at her intently before saying, “I’ve never felt like this before. I have never wanted a commitment with someone I had sex with. With you it’s different. For the first time in my life I can imagine having children, and the thought doesn’t petrify me.”

  She did not quite know how to respond to his confession. Did he want her to get pregnant? It was certainly not part of her grand plan to fall pregnant just as she started her new job.

  “I’m not really in a place to think about children. I’m starting a new job soon and having a baby will have to wait until I’m done with my residency. Wait, why are we talking about this! It’s unrealistic to even think about it, Michael. If you take me to a doctor here I can get a script for birth control pills.”

  He did not say anything further and pulled her into his arms. She ran her hand over his smooth chest until exhaustion overtook her. He held her close and watched her sleep for a long time before he finally succumbed to his own restless slumber.

  When Danielle woke the next morning, her first thought was that she was alone in the bed and that the house was deathly quiet. She knew Marie was not coming in because she did not work on Sundays.

  She threw back the covers and got out of bed with difficulty. Her muscles were aching from all the vigorous sex, but she was definitely not complaining! She walked to the bathroom and started to fill the bath with steaming water. It was almost an hour later when she emerged from the bathroom and she realised she was ravenous.

  She wandered through the house to look for Michael, but he wasn’t home. She decided to make breakfast and was just sitting down to eat her omelette when there was a knock on the front door. She was momentarily taken aback when she opened the door to find Marco standing there. He was wearing a grey suit and white shirt without a tie. He looked as if he had stepped out of Cosmopolitan magazine and she could see how women would break his door down.

  “Good morning, Danielle. May I come in?” Marco seemed nervous and Danielle was curious as to his motives for being there.

  “Marco! This is a surprise! Please do come in.” She stepped aside to let him enter. “I’m eating breakfast. Do you want to join me?”

  “I’ve eaten but I’ll drink coffee with you, thank you.”

  He followed her as she walked to the kitchen. She poured some coffee for them from the coffee machine and placed a cup in front of him before she sat down to finish her breakfast. “Michael’s not here. I woke this morning and he was gone. Did you want to speak to him about something?”

  “I do but I’m glad I have the chance to speak to you alone.” Marco took a sip of his coffee and stared at Danielle pensively before continuing, “I never should have said anything about Michael and Adele. The truth is I only ever heard her side of the story and I should’ve known better. I’ve been friends with Adele for a long time. She used to date my brother back when she was modelling in Milan. Unfortunately my brother treated her like dirt and I sort of took her under my wing after he broke up with her. She used to be a sweet girl but the thin
g with my brother scarred her somehow. It doesn’t excuse her behaviour and I’m fast losing patience with her. Michael has never spoken about her or any other girl for that matter. He’s the most guarded person I know. I’ve known him for almost ten years and he never talks about himself.”

  Marco pushed his hand through his hair and tapped his fingers on the table in agitation. “Michael is my best friend. I went through a rough time when I arrived in France and he helped me through it. I don’t want to bore you with my personal life, but if it wasn’t for Michael I would have ended up in a gutter somewhere in Paris.”

  Danielle felt miserable. “I’m terribly sorry I misled you about my motives for wanting to know what happened between them. I should’ve been honest with you and told you that we were involved and I definitely shouldn’t have flirted with you. This thing with Michael is making me a little crazy. We’re in a very difficult situation and I’m petrified of the outcome. It has made me irrational and I’m ashamed of how childish I acted last night.” She reached over the table and placed her hand over his, stilling it.

  Marco nodded his head in silent acceptance of her apology. “I didn’t realise you were together, but I should’ve suspected. Michael doesn’t have female friends so to speak. I often got the impression he avoided women for some reason. His aloofness and unavailability has made him the target of a lot of unwanted female attention, including Adele. I can tell that her fixation on Michael is both one-sided and very destructive. I guess I wanted to come over here and defend my friend and try to rectify my mistake of last night.”

  “Thank you, Marco.”

  Danielle and Marco both jumped in their seats when Michael spoke from the doorway. They did not hear him come in and they had no idea how long he had been standing there. Michael walked into the kitchen and slapped Marco on the back.

  “That doesn’t mean I’m not still pissed at you,” he said as he walked to the coffee machine to make some coffee.