Waiting for Baby

by Cathy McDavid

  Jake had gotten right to the point, and she’d cried for three days afterward. If not for the unexpected gift of an old mule, she wouldn’t have spoken to him for months. Neither would she be facing the dilemma of what to do about her appointment with Dr. Paul tomorrow.

  “I’ll stay in the waiting room during your exam,” he said.

  She frowned, not quite believing him. “I thought you wanted to talk to my doctor.”

  “I’m willing to hold off until you feel more comfortable about it.” He resumed his mesmerizing stroking of her wrist.

  Lilly supposed that if she stood her ground, she could put Jake off temporarily, though not indefinitely. Payson wasn’t a large town, and there was only a handful of ob/gyns. He’d heard her mention Dr. Paul by name. Locating her office would be easy enough. It was even possible Ellen had gone to Dr. Paul, too. With his stubborn streak, she wouldn’t put it past him to camp out in the parking lot until she arrived for an appointment and then follow her inside.

  “Okay,” she heard herself agreeing. “You can come, but only if you stay in the waiting room.”

  He smiled. “Deal.”

  No, Lilly thought. Test.

  If he could contain his impulse to take charge and take over, if he stuck to the rules they both agreed to, then maybe they had a chance of being successful co-parents.

  “What time is your appointment?” He took out his PDA.

  “One-fifteen at the Payson Physicians Plaza. Suite two thousand and three.”

  “Would you like to stop for lunch on the way?”

  “No, thanks.” Between her morning sickness and nerves, she doubted she’d be able to eat.

  “I’ll pick you up at work.”

  “Fine,” she said, biting her lower lip and hoping she didn’t regret her decision.

  “SO, WHAT DID the doctor say?”

  Jake leaned forward, his forearms balanced on the table. He’d spoken softly, Lilly presumed, so the few nearby diners and waitresses didn’t hear him.

  “Everything appears normal,” she answered in an equally soft voice.

  “What about the cramps and bleeding?”

  “She says that’s not uncommon in the first trimester. A woman’s body goes through a lot of changes during pregnancy, and…” Lilly tried to recall exactly how Dr. Paul had put it. “Sometimes the changes cause side effects.”

  “But you’re okay? And the baby’s okay?”

  “Yes.” For now.

  She twirled her glass of milk, noticing the faint trail of condensation it left on the scratched Formica. When he’d learned she’d skipped lunch, he’d insisted on taking her to the Hilltop Café—another of his tenants in the same small complex as Horizon and his aunt’s antique shop—so she could have a quick bite before returning to work. Her first instinct had been to refuse, but then she thought better of it and ordered a small chef’s salad to go with her milk. Skipping meals wasn’t good for the baby or her own health and as often as not, eating settled her chronic nausea.

  “Is that all she said?” Jake took a bite of the key lime pie he’d ordered with his iced tea.

  “I’m supposed to take it easy for the next few weeks. Not lift heavy objects and rest as much as possible.”

  “Why don’t I arrange for someone to clean your house? I can have one of the maids from the ranch come over.”

  “That’s not necessary.” The worry of being steamrolled returned, and Lilly’s defenses shot up. “I can still lift a dust cloth and push a broom.”

  “Okay.” The staccato pinging of fork tines on his now-empty plate left no doubt that Jake would be bringing up the subject again.

  Trying to look at the situation from a different perspective, Lilly supposed his constant attempts to take charge could be construed as kindness. Maybe she was overreacting, looking for ulterior motives that weren’t there. After all, Jake was a businessman, used to making decisions and delegating tasks. Sometimes he carried those same traits into other areas of his life.

  “Call me if you need anything.”

  “I will.” Lilly meant what she’d said.

  If she truly needed help and couldn’t get it elsewhere, she’d ask Jake. While she had friends in Payson, none of them possessed Jake’s resources or had as much of a stake in her welfare. Her family was in Albuquerque. She’d left them and her closest friends and acquaintances when her ex-husband’s employer transferred him to their Phoenix office seven years ago. After almost five years in Phoenix and two in Payson, she hadn’t connected with anyone the way she had with Jake. She’d even contemplated a future with him.

  Now, it seemed, she had one. Just not the one she’d envisioned.

  “I really should get back to work.” She wiped her hands on her napkin and set it aside. “Thanks for lunch.”

  “When’s your next doctor’s appointment?”

  “Two weeks from today. Same time. You don’t have to drive me,” she added with what she hoped was firm insistence.

  “I’d like to, if you don’t mind.”

  He didn’t say, “And I want to come into the exam room with you and meet your doctor,” but she sensed it was on the tip of his tongue.

  “All right,” she said, deciding to pick her battles. Besides, having Jake along wasn’t nearly the hardship she’d expected. He’d been considerate and sweet—when he wasn’t trying to boss her around. Opening doors for her. Putting her at ease with small talk. Seeing to it that she ate.

  “I want to be an involved father, Lilly. Before and after the baby is born.”

  “Will you still feel like that if this child has the same…birth defects as Evan?” She shuddered, remembering the horror and revulsion in her ex-husband’s eyes. “Brad refused to hold Evan or even touch his tiny hand.”

  “I’m not like him,” Jake said resolutely.

  “Forgive me for not having complete faith in you. Until you’ve sat beside an isolette in a neonatal intensive care unit and watched your child struggle for every breath, praying he’s going to survive his latest surgery and yet terrified about what kind of life he’ll have if he does, you can’t understand.”

  “No, you’re right. The closest I’ve come to experiencing anything like that was when my sister died.”

  “Sorry.” Lilly instantly regretted her hasty assumptions. “I’d forgotten about Hailey.”

  Jake’s younger sister had lost her life in a riding accident several years earlier. She’d survived the fall long enough to make it to the hospital, lived long enough for her family to arrive at her bedside. Jake had told Lilly about his sister’s tragic death the night they’d made love in the hot tub. The same night she’d gotten pregnant.

  “She suffered such extensive brain damage that if she’d lived she wouldn’t have been the same.” His voice grew rough, and his gaze turned inward. “I hate to admit that after hearing the doctors’ prognosis, I was almost relieved when she didn’t make it. For her sake, not mine. Hailey would never have wanted to live out her life in a vegetative state, hooked up to machines and tubes that breathed and ate and went to the bathroom for her.”

  How well Lilly knew those machines and tubes.

  Had she misjudged Jake? Been too hard on him? Was it possible that he, of all people, understood a little of what she’d been through and had a heart open enough to welcome a child like Evan?

  When they were done eating, Jake paid the bill, and they left.

  “You don’t have to walk me to work,” Lilly said outside the entrance.

  He took her elbow and guided her down the walkway in front of the stores, their windows already decorated for the holidays. “It’s a nice afternoon, and I can use the exercise after that pie.”

  Lilly smiled her first genuine smile all day. Whatever Jake did to stay fit worked like a charm. She’d seen every inch of him, skimming her fingers along the smooth ridges of his honed muscles, and knew him to be in great shape. He was one of those people who could eat ten pieces of pie every day and not gain an ounce.

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nbsp; “Remember, call if you need anything.” They both hesitated outside the door to the center.

  “Thanks. Again.”

  “Or if you just want to talk. You don’t need a reason.”

  “Um, okay.”

  Lilly wasn’t sure what to do next. Should she shake his hand? Hug him? Turn around and head to her office? He didn’t leave, and the awkward minute lengthened into two.

  “Daddy, Daddy!”

  Jake’s two youngest daughters came racing down the sidewalk, straight for him and Lilly.

  “Hey, what are you doing here?” He opened his arms, and the girls flew into them.

  “Mommy’s dropping us off at Aunt Millie’s store.”

  “Oh?” Jake glanced up the walkway.

  So did Lilly. Her hand automatically went to her stomach, and she was infinitely glad not to be showing yet.

  Jake’s ex-wife exited a fire-engine red Mustang convertible and made her way toward them, heels clicking on the concrete.

  “Jake. I didn’t realize you’d be here.” The smile she flashed Lilly was brief and disinterested. “Do you mind watching the girls for a few minutes? I was going to leave them with Millie while I did some shopping but I’m sure they’d rather stay with you.”

  “Not at all. I can take them home, too, if you want.”

  “That would be great.”

  “Where’s Briana?”

  “Some after-school function. I’ll pick her up when I’m done.” Ellen waved a hand before starting off. “See you later.”

  Lilly allowed herself to breathe again.

  The girls hung on Jake’s coat sleeves. “Can we go to the pet shop?” the youngest one asked. The store was a few doors down from Horizon.

  “In a few minutes. Girls, do you remember Ms. Russo? You met her at the barbeque a while back.” He indicated Lilly, and they nodded solemnly.

  “Nice to see you again,” Lilly said and winked. Jake was truly fortunate; his girls were charming.

  “This is where Ms. Russo works.” He pointed to the center’s front door. “She’s the administrator.”

  LeAnne examined the sign in the window, her brow furrowed in concentration, and tried to sound out the words. “The Hor-i-z-zon…”

  “The Horizon Adult Day Care Center,” Jake supplied.

  LeAnne’s eyes widened. “What’s that?”

  “Kind of like the summer program you and your sister go to. Only it’s for grown-ups.”

  LeAnne and Kayla turned to each other, then burst into giggles. “Grown-ups don’t need day care.”

  “Well, some do.” Jake took the girls’ hands. “Would you like to go inside and see for yourself?”

  “Can we?” Kayla seemed wary but intrigued.

  LeAnne, on the other hand, was reserved. “Is this where the funny people who come to the ranch are?”

  “They’re not funny, LeAnne.”

  “Yes, they are.” She peered up at her father. “They make me feel weird.”

  Jake smiled apologetically. “Sorry…”

  “Don’t worry about it.” Lilly wasn’t offended by LeAnne’s comment. Special-needs adults could be intimidating to young children.

  “Mr. Tucker!” The door to the center flew open, and Jimmy Bob landed outside, a bundle of unconstrained excitement. “I saw you through the window. Why didn’t you come inside?”

  Lilly stepped sideways, having experienced the force of Jimmy Bob’s enthusiasm before. She needn’t have bothered; she wasn’t the young man’s target. He rushed up to Jake and, although he was a good head shorter, enveloped him in a fierce bear hug.

  “Thank you, thank you, Mr. Tucker, for Big Ben.” Jimmy Bob buried his face in the front of Jake’s jacket. “We love him so much.”

  “You’re welcome.” Jake awkwardly patted Jimmy Bob’s back.

  Lilly attempted to come to the rescue. “Jimmy Bob, you know you aren’t supposed to be outside the center unless there’s a staff member with you.”

  He stepped back from Jake, his jaw set in the determined line Lilly had come to recognize as meaning business. “You’re a staff member.”

  He was, of course, right.

  Georgina opened the door and sighed. “Jimmy Bob.”

  “I wanna stay.” He hunched his shoulders.

  “You can’t, sweetie.” Lilly took his arm. “Mr. Tucker and his daughters are leaving.”

  Jimmy Bob refused to budge. He’d spotted Kayla and LeAnne and stood rooted in place, grinning widely. “Hi! What’s your names? Mine’s Jimmy Bob. I come here almost every day.”

  The girls were rooted in place, too, but for different reasons, Lilly suspected. She recognized the trepidation in their small faces, LeAnne’s especially. Jimmy Bob’s effusiveness, though well-meaning, could be overwhelming.

  “Daddy, I want to go.” LeAnne yanked on her father’s hand. “Now.”

  Kayla appeared a little less nervous than her sister but still uncertain.

  “Girls,” Jake reprimanded softly. “Don’t be rude.”

  “It’s all right. Let’s go, Jimmy Bob.” This time Lilly wasn’t taking no for an answer.

  “Is Briana your sister? She’s my friend.” Jimmy Bob ignored Lilly and leaned down to the girls’ level. “Do you wanna be my friend, too?”

  LeAnne cowered and backed away until she was half-hidden behind her father.

  “Don’t be afraid of me.” Jimmy Bob’s smile crumpled. “I won’t hurt you.” His disappointment was heart-wrenching.

  “Come on, girls,” Jake coaxed. “Be nice.”

  Lilly shook her head. “It’s better if you don’t force it.”

  “That’s enough, big guy.” Georgina took charge of the situation before it worsened and pulled on one of Jimmy Bob’s arms. Lilly aided by pushing on the other and together they managed to get him inside.

  “I am really sorry,” Jake said, gesturing at his daughters. “They’re not as comfortable around the center’s clients as their sister is.”

  “It’s okay. Really.” Lilly stood in the doorway, glancing over her shoulder at Jimmy Bob and Georgina. “I’ll see you later,” she told him, suddenly anxious to get away. “Bye, girls.” She let the door close.

  She went directly to her office, her earlier optimism dwindling.

  Jake and his oldest daughter, Briana, might very well be capable of welcoming a child like Evan but clearly the same couldn’t be said of his other girls. Not that Lilly blamed them.

  Sitting at her desk, she scolded herself for her shortsightedness. She’d been so caught up in herself and Jake, she’d failed to consider the rest of his family and their reactions to a possible special-needs baby. Until today.

  Chapter Six

  Jake’s personal assistant, Alice, poked her head around the corner of his office door. “Your cousin Carolina is here. She wants to know if you have a few minutes for her.”

  “Sure. I’m expecting a call from Howard,” he said, referring to the family trust attorney. “Go ahead and put him through when he phones.”

  Alice retreated and a moment later, Carolina breezed into the office.

  “Hey.” She sat in one of the visitor’s chairs, reaching for a candy from the dish Jake kept on his desk. Tall, slim and with the trademark Tucker hazel eyes, she was the envy of her three sisters because of her ability to eat whatever she wanted and never have it show.

  “What’s going on?” Jake took a break from the maintenance reports he’d been reviewing and leaned back in his chair.

  “I just came from the kitchen. Mom asked me to drop by.”

  “What’s wrong?” Her mother, Jake’s aunt, was also the ranch’s wedding coordinator and worked closely with the kitchen staff.

  “Nothing we weren’t expecting. Eventually.” Carolina shrugged. “Olivia’s retiring.”

  “She’s threatened that before.”

  “This time she’s serious. Her husband gave his notice at the plant. Says they’re boarding up the house and taking a three-month vacation to visit
their kids in El Paso and Austin, even if he has to hog-tie her to the front seat of their motor home.”

  “I see.”

  Bear Creek Ranch’s kitchen manager had been employed by the Tuckers since Jake was in the third grade. All during his teens, he’d rotated at different jobs, learning the family business from the ground up. Olivia had supervised him during his stint as a dishwasher and cook’s helper. He might have been the owner’s son, but she’d cut him no slack, instilling in him a work ethic he didn’t appreciate until he was much older and had taken over the management of Bear Creek Ranch from his father.

  “What are you going to do about it?” Carolina asked. “Olivia practically runs that dining hall single-handed.”

  “There’s nothing I can do. She’s been talking about retiring for months.” In hindsight, he should have started the recruitment process by now. Lilly’s pregnancy had distracted him—from that and a lot of other things.

  “You don’t seem too broken up about this.”

  “I’ll miss Olivia, of course. We all will. But I’m sure there’s a qualified candidate out there.”

  “You’d better act fast. Olivia’s husband’s giving her until the end of January. That’s just weeks away.”

  Carolina was the only person, besides his parents and Aunt Millie, who could order Jake around. If any of his employees or other family members so much as tried, they’d either be out of a job or put soundly in their place. Carolina was an exception because she’d filled the void left after his sister’s death.

  “I’ll get Alice right on it.” Jake didn’t make a move to pick up the intercom.

  Carolina studied him critically. “You care to tell me what’s really bothering you? Or would you rather go on pretending that everything’s fine?”

  “Everything is fine.”

  “Please.” His cousin sent him her I’m-not-buying-what you’re-selling look. “You’ve been out of sorts for two or three weeks now, and I’m starting to worry.”

  He thought for a moment and nodded. It was time he confided in someone about Lilly’s pregnancy. Keeping everything inside was ruining his appetite, his sleep at night and his concentration. He didn’t always appreciate Carolina’s strong opinions, and they’d certainly had their share of disagreements, but she could also be a good listener, and he needed that right now.