Yours Troolie, Alice Toolie
Page 7
Anyway, my mum loves pickling, she’s actually addicted to it and probably needs to see a doctor or something, but the good news is it means we’ve got heaps of jars.
Yours practically,
Captain Jimmy Cook
Dear Jimmy,
I’m really sorry to hear that your mum is infected with pickling disease. It sounds sooo bad :( It is really good that she has all those jars though :) People get addicted to all sorts of stuff, like that time that Rupert Tillerman in 2nd Grade got totally addicted to making that popping sound with his mouth. At first he was just popping sometimes, but then he got totally addicted and he couldn’t stop, and I heard he was even popping in his sleep! He popped so much I think he had to go to hospital. Anyway, enough about other people! I can’t wait for the fete this weekend! Everything will go to plan. It’s going to be soooo great! :)
Yours troolie,
Alice Toolie
Dear Alice,
Did you see how many jars I brought!?!?!?!?! It’s like a thousand. I had to get my dad to help carry them up to the classroom. Also, is that giant humungous container you brought in full of unicorn slime? Cool. I also brought some plastic army men and Legot bricks.
Yours most motivated,
Captain Jimmy Cook
Dear Jimmy,
It’s totally full of unicorn slime! Yay! :) Mum and I literally bought out all the cornflour, craft glue and conditioner everywhere! So I guess that means there’s going to be heaps of people with tangled hair this week! :(
Also, because there’s like NO craft glue left anywhere (which is a key ingredient in slime), no-one else can make slime. That means that OUR slime is like sooooo rare :)
Ms Fennel said we can decorate and fill the jars in free time after lunch as long as we don’t make a mess. And when she said that, she was basically talking about you ;)
Yours troolie,
Alice Toolie
P.S Did you see the sign I made for our stall? It’s sooo good.
Dear Alice,
Okay, Alice Toolie, I’m just going to go right ahead and say it. WOW! Our slime jars are fantastic! These are some of the most amazing mystery jars ever! This is going to be great!
I’ve put them all in the craft cupboard and tomorrow we can get them for the stall.
Yours enthusiastically
Captain Jimmy Cook
Dear Jimmy,
I’m soooooo excited about the fete tomorrow that I don’t think I’ll even be able to sleep tonight! In fact, I’m absolutely, positively certain that I WON’T be able to sleep. Our stall will be the best, but I also heard that there’ll be a badge-making machine and you can make your own badges! I’ve already got some ideas for that, like a picture of me with the words TIME TO SHINE! Also, there’s meant to be a lady who sprays your hair different colours. I’m going to get the ends of mine sprayed gentle ocean blue, which is like that really soft pretty blue!
Now DON’T FORGET, we need to GET ALL THE JARS from the cupboard tomorrow. We can’t leave ANY behind ;)
Yours troolie,
Alice Toolie
P.S. TIME TO SHINE!
Dear Alice,
I totally won’t forget ANY of the jars! I’m also really looking forward to the fete tomorrow, but I‘m not THAT into face painting and hair spraying. I know for a fact that you can actually attract wildlife like pigeons and cassowaries (which are really dangerous birds) when you paint your face. But I did hear that the emergency services are visiting and doing demonstrations at the fete! I’m a big fan of the emergency services and an even bigger fan of demonstrations. This fete’s going to be the best, but the very, very best bit is going to be our Mystery Jar stall! Nothing can go wrong!
See you tomorrow, partner!
Yours ecstatically,
Captain Jimmy Cook
Dear Jimmy,
Yours troolie,
Alice Toolie
Dear Ms Fennel and Mr Shufflebottom and the whole school and everyone who was at the fete,
We, Alice Toolie and Jimmy Cook (also known as Captain Jimmy Cook but really not an actual captain, just a boy with a weird hat), are really sorry for what happened yesterday at the fete :( We did not mean to cause that big disaster that sort of ruined the fete. It was very lucky that the emergency service was already there doing those very interesting demonstrations about snake bites, bandaging and how to remove ticks. If they hadn’t been there already, things really could have gotten a lot worse! :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :(
But just so everyone knows, the disaster wasn’t EXACTLY our fault, but it was sort of but not totally, and it was a little bit MORE Jimmy’s fault than mine, but anyway… that’s not important.
Everything was going so well before the disaster. The Mystery Jar stall was soooo popular, and I’m not boasting or anything but it was probably the most popular stand there! Everyone loved the unicorn slime. Ava Tonkatsu was so happy that she got the purple and sweet green sparkle slime that smelled like apple pies and totally matched her spray-painted hair! And Conrad really wanted the slime with all the little plastic army men, and he got that too! And then Shirley Bucket was luckiest of all because she got soooo rich when she got the treasure slime with the Ancient Egyptian necklace. BUT Jenny Philpot was not so lucky when she got the jar of haunted cheese porridge slime and released the ghost of the Level 2 toilets that basically destroyed the fete.
The truth is that we didn’t know we had accidently wrapped up the jar of haunted cheese-porridge and put it in the stall! It was an easy mistake to make because it turns out that haunted cheese porridge looks EXACTLY like slime! But it is also true that we did smuggle the ghost jar out of the craft cupboard and instead of putting it aside, it must have got mixed up with the rest of the jars. I know Ms Fennel told us to leave the ghost jar alone after she abducted it, but ghosts have rights too, and it’s not really fair to leave a ghost locked up forever.
Anyway, we also didn’t know that since the ghost had been locked up, it had created that terrible haunted cheesy stench in the jar! I guess while being cooped up in Ms Fennel’s cupboard for so long, it probably had time to get cross!
And the stench it made was SOOOOOOO bad and totally haunted. It’s not Jenny Philpot’s fault that she released the stench. She just thought it was a new kind of slime… which is sort of understandable because I am famous for making new cool slimes. Well, this was not a cool slime—it was a stinking horrible pong that was totally stuck on her and WOULD NOT COME OFF.
So then Jenny Philpot was screaming and threw it, and Maisy P accidently caught it, and then she passed it to Maisy D who passed it on to the Borridge twins, then Mr Shufflebottom came over to see what the fuss was, but by then all of the massive long line of people wanting Mystery Unicorn Slime had touched the haunted stench slime and got haunted stench on them! That’s when Mr Shufflebottom confiscated it and that was NOT a good idea, because the stench was on him too and then one of the dogs that was part of the dog show just leapt up and grabbed it and all the other dogs (including Emperor Fluffy Pants!) went totally wild for it and that’s when one of the dogs put a hole in the plastic swimming pool filled with all those plastic rubber duckies that you’re supposed to fish out with a magnet! And that’s what flooded the playground.
So I’m really REALLY REALLY sorry, and so is Jimmy. We didn’t mean to destroy the fete and get eternal stench on everyone. We just wanted to rescue our ghost. But there is some good news —a silver lining to this big dark rain cloud… we made about $173 for the school from slime and the ghost is gone (since the dogs sort of ate it)! Although some of the dogs might be a bit haunted now…
Yours troolie,
Alice Toolie
To whom it may concern,
I, Captain Jimmy Cook, apologise for releasing a wild and furious ghost onto the school fete. As a world famous captain, I always take responsibility for my actions, so I take full responsibility … even though it wasn’t really my fault and I was actually trying to save an innocent ghost from being
imprisoned without having done ANYTHING to deserve it.
Anyway, the disgusting stench was too much even for me to bear. I humbly beg your pardon. Also, my elbow that touched the haunted slime still stinks and maybe will forever. So I’m sorry about that too, I guess.
Yours most apologetically,
Captain Jimmy Cook
Alice and Jimmy,
Thank you for these apologies. It is important to be able to admit when you have made a mistake and take responsibility. Mistakes are how we learn, and I hope this was a big learning experience for you both.
There was never a ghost on level 2. I thought you both knew that, but perhaps you both got carried away with your sizable imaginations. The preschoolers were learning the song from Annie for assembly. The preschool girls were just using the Level 2 toilets when theirs was being repaired. They have very short legs and perhaps this is why you could not see them in the cubicles—which you should not be looking under.
Due to your actions, there is now a total school ban on ghosts and all things related to ghosts.
I would like you both to tell each other what you have learnt before handing this book in.
Ms Fennel
Dear Alice,
As a famous explorer, I’m always on the lookout to learn new things. One time, I taught myself how to do all these ancient knots and even invented a whole new kind of knot that I called the topsy-turvy-doublespike-goldfish knot. It’s basically the hardest knot to untangle in the whole world. Anyway, even that wasn’t as hard as writing you about a million letters. But the thing is, even though we really don’t have much in common, there are heaps of things that we’re both really good at. Even though our stall was a disaster, it was also really awesome, and even though the ghost just turned out to be a preschooler with short legs singing in the toilet, we still saved the school from what could have been a really bad haunting. So, thanks, Alice Toolie. It’s been nice knowing you.
Now if you don’t mind, I’ve got some really important explorer stuff to get back to. For example, I saw the maintenance man trying to clean those ancient Egyptian hieroglyphs off the playground this morning, and I really need to stop him.
Yours intrepidly,
Captain Jimmy Cook
Dear Jimmy,
When we first started writing these letters to each other, I was sure that we wouldn’t have a single thing to say to each other. Everything you’re into is… how can I put it??? Not that good :{ Also, you make stuff up like, ALL. THE. TIME. But then I realised that I like making stuff up too! Like amazing dance routines, ideas to save the ocean and inventing new kinds of sparkle slime! So it turns out that we do actually have something in common besides both having two arms and two legs!
Anyway, our stall was amazing and even though we were basically responsible for ruining the fete, we also brought so much joy to sooooo many kids with the unicorn slime. So, like I always say, behind every raincloud is a super cute rainbow with big eyes and a smiley mouth and long eyelashes!
Anyway, I don’t have time to write any more letters I’ve got my twinkle toes hip hop class and I’m the lead penguin
Yours troolie,
Alice Toolie
Dear Alice,
Sorry to say, but you DID just accidently use the :{ That’s now $107 I’d love to let you off, but rules are rules.
Yours legally,
Captain Jimmy Cook
Dear Jimmy,
Do you want me to add up the fines for all the time that the ghost was in the cupboard after YOU lost it? Because I have, and it’s $71,398,473,298,749,231,874.
Yours troolie,
Alice Toolie
Dear Alice,
Let’s call it even, then?
Yours trucefully,
Captain Jimmy Cook
Captain Jimmy Cook Discovers
Meet Jimmy Cook: explorer, eccentric, and someone who takes adventure very, very seriously.
written by Kate & Jol Temple
illustrated by Jon Foye
Available now
Captain Jimmy Cook Discovers … Third Grade
Jimmy Cook is finding History Week a bit boring until Ms Fennel starts banging on about the explorer Captain Cook. Then—bingo! Turns out he and Captain Cook have a lot in common. Here are three of the big ones:
• They are both named James Cook
• They are both great explorers.
• They both look great in a tricorn hat.
No doubt they were related. So when he finds out that Captain Cook met with a sticky end in Hawaii, he’s determined to travel to the island to finish what he started. His parents aren’t so interested, but luckily, Jimmy’s favourite brand of cereal is running a competition. First prize: a Hawaiian Holiday.
Jimmy is going to have to eat a lot of full-fibre Wheetblocks to enter, but big dreams come with a big price. And no price is too big when it comes to Captain Jimmy Cook, especially if it means beating the world’s most annoying person, Alice Toolie.
HONOUR BOOK, CBCA Book of the Year
(Younger Readers), 2017
SHORTLISTED ABDA Best Designed Children’s
Fiction Book, 2017
Captain Jimmy Cook Discovers … X Marks The Spot
Captain Jimmy Cook has made a Top Secret Important Discovery. Even more important than any discovery that the other Captain Cook from the olden days ever made. A real dinosaur footprint! And everyone knows that underneath a real dinosaur footprint will be a real dinosaur bone.
Jimmy has to keep the amazing discovery a big secret because he found it behind a toilet block (that’s totally out-of-bounds). That’s not going to stop Jimmy and his crew! Once he digs up the dinosaur bone, he’s going to be the most famous Captain James Cook in history, and not even Ms Fennel will be mad with him.
But even the greatest explorers have problems. Jimmy’s are these:
1. Everyone in the school now wants to help in The Dig, so it’s just a matter of time before Ms Fennel puts a stop to the greatest discovery of all time.
2. A large smelly cat is sitting in his hole.
But luck is on his side. Jimmy’s found a map of the school with a large X on it. And everyone knows what that means—Treasure! Treasure! Treasure!
Captain Jimmy Cook is about to make the discovery of a lifetime …
I discovered three things today:
1. Captain Cook was the greatest explorer that ever lived.
2. Captain Cook is my great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandfather
3. Third Grade is going to be the best year of my life.
It’s History Week and learning about Captain Cook is the second-best thing that has ever happened in Ms Fennel’s class. The first, of course, being the escape of Ambystoma mexicanum, which is Wikipedia for axolotl. The Ambystoma mexicanum (axolotl) was trying to escape the tank after Casper N decided to share his diet OJ with it. Mum says diet drinks are full of junk that will kill you, and I think this might prove her point since the axolotl never quite recovered.
So far in History Week, we have talked about Columbus (more information on him can be found at yawn.com) and the ancient Egyptians – who had their moments.
But nothing really grabbed my interest until Ms Fennel started banging on about Captain Cook. Bingo! Turns out Captain Cook and I have a lot in common.
Here are three of the big ones:
1. We are both named James Cook.
2. We are both great explorers.
3. We both look great in a tricorn hat.
Ms Fennel wants us to write a diary, just like Captain Cook. I’ve decided to take this very seriously. So I won’t be doing it. Captain Cook did not keep a diary. I can tell you that right now. Diaries are kept by three types of people:
1. Girls.
2. Girls.
3. Girls.
There’s nothing wrong with
girls exactly (some very interesting people have been girls), but Captain Cook was not one and so he didn’t keep a diary. I told Ms Fennel this and I thought she’d just take my word for it, given he’s family, but apparently not. She said he DID keep a diary. This is impossible, of course. A captain of the High Seas was not sitting down with a fluffy purple pen and drawing rainbows that smile and flowers with tears. He was serious.
I think Ms Fennel was getting annoyed, because once I pointed this out, Casper N and Conrad started agreeing with me. Even Alice Toolie, who absolutely never agrees with me, agreed that boys don’t keep diaries.
Ms Fennel said that some of the pages of Captain Cook’s diary can be found in the State Library and to prove it she pulled them up on the smartboard. Well, straight away it turns out that I was right. He didn’t keep a diary – that would be ridiculous. He kept a LOG. A log is totally different. So Ms Fennel agreed that those who wanted to keep a diary could keep a diary, and those who wanted to keep a log could keep a log.