The First Touch of Sunlight

by Len Webster

  “Thank you. God, I’m so nervous,” she revealed in a shaky voice.

  Sam picked up the freshly printed assignment and shoved it in his bag. Then he smiled. “You’re going to be okay. Everyone is nervous when they go for their license.”

  “I’m going to fail, Sam. I’m going to stuff it up and not use my indicator or speed! I’m never going to get my license,” she mumbled.

  He let out a light laugh. “Meredith, take a deep breath.” And she did. “Release it and then take another. You’re going to get your license, and then I’m going to see you at school when you’re finished.”

  “Okay. But can you not make my birthday a big deal? Especially when I fail?”

  He rolled his eyes as he swiped his car keys off his desk. “You’re not going to fail. You won’t need it but good luck. I’ll see you at recess by the gate.”

  “I’ll see you then, but be prepared for me to say I told you so.”

  Sam hung up with a chuckle.

  She wasn’t going to say it.

  At 10:50 a.m., Sam waited by the black steel gates for Meredith. Her test should have finished at ten o’clock so that she had plenty of time to get back to school for third period. He had found Margot blowing up balloons in a free classroom for Meredith’s surprise. She had smiled and asked if he had heard from her. Sam had told her no, but that she should already be done with her test.

  Unless she had actually failed and didn’t want to face them.

  Sam pulled his phone out of his navy blue pants pocket to see that she hadn’t messaged him. When a silver Range Rover pulled up in front of him, he smiled the moment Meredith hopped out of it.

  “Bye, Papa,” she said as she closed the door. When the car exited the car park, she faced the gate, and her smile slanted at the sight of him as she made her way to stand before him.

  His heart dipped, consumed by disappointment for her.

  He set his hands on her shoulders. “You didn’t get it, did you?”

  She pursed her lips. “I didn’t check my mirrors enough. He made me so nervous that I was shaking. Wanna walk me to my locker to put my bag away? Sorry you wasted your recess waiting for me.”

  Sam shrugged. “There’s still twenty minutes to celebrate your birthday before English.”

  Meredith groaned just as he slid his hands up her neck and cupped her jaw. “Happy birthday, Meredith,” he whispered as he pressed his lips to hers. Within seconds, he was lost in the way she kissed him.

  Soft and beautiful.

  He never thought someone could kiss beautifully before.

  But that had been before Meredith let him into her life.

  To be kissed so beautifully that each brush of her lips felt like a sin.

  She had pressed her palms to his chest before she pushed him off her with a laugh. “Turn around and take three steps forward. I have a surprise for you.”

  He glared at her. “It’s your birthday. I should be giving you your gift right now instead of tonight.”

  She tilted her head at him. “Sam, turn around and take three steps.”

  “Fine,” he muttered and did as ordered. He had spun around, taken three large steps, and was now on school grounds. “Done!”

  “Okay, now turn around,” she instructed.

  Slowly, just to tease her, he faced her. Sam was surprised to see what she held in her hands.

  “Surprise!” she said with glee in her voice.

  Sam shook his head unbelievably. Then he rushed to her and wrapped his arms around her. “See, I told you you’d get your license! So I guess I get to proudly say … I told you so.”

  Meredith’s arms wrapped around his waist as she rolled her eyes at him. “You sure told me. Umm, are we still on for my birthday dinner at the Nove?”

  Leaning forward, he let his lips press against her forehead. “Wouldn’t miss it for the world.” Sam stepped back, separating them. He glanced down at his sleeve and smiled. He let out a shaky breath as he took off his bomber jacket. Then he draped it over her shoulders, the jacket consuming her small frame. “My jacket suits you.”

  “You want me to wear it?” The softness in her eyes had his heart expanding. Meredith thread her arms through the sleeves and then glanced down at what he had stitched on. “An ‘M’?”

  He nodded once her eyes returned to him. “Where it should be. My heart on my sleeve.”

  It was as close as he’d get to admitting just how in love he was with her.

  “I’ll wear an ‘S’ on mine,” she promised.

  Meredith had texted him not to pick her up, and that she would just meet him at the Nove at seven. She had also sent him a picture of her bomber jacket sleeve. Stitched on her sleeve was a gold ‘S.’ He couldn’t wait to see her wear it on Monday. Tonight would be their first dinner together. Not an official date, but they were celebrating her eighteenth. She had told him that she didn’t want a party, as much as her best friend, Margot, had detested the idea. The Nove was a brand-new restaurant in Old Berwick just outside of Warren Meadows. It was the latest ‘it’ place to dine at in the South Eastern suburbs.

  Just as he had found parking across from the restaurant, his phone rang next to him. Sam reached over and picked it up to see a number he didn’t recognise. Normally, he ignored callers with numbers not saved in his phone book, but his thumb had already swiped at the screen to answer the call.

  He was already a few minutes late to Meredith’s birthday dinner on account of picking up the bundle of sunflowers from the florist before they had closed.

  “Hello,” Sam had greeted as he unbuckled his belt.

  “Sam?”

  He recognised that deep smoker’s voice. “Mr Lewis, how are you?”

  There was some chatter in the background that he couldn’t make out.

  “Son, I think you better get down to Warren Meadows Hospital. It’s the baby. Beth had a fall, and we had to rush her to the ER.”

  At that moment, reality had knocked him off his feet.

  For three weeks, he’d been in a bubble with Meredith, spending every minute of free time with her. From walking her dog to watching her make Dutch hot chocolates for them as they studied at her house. It was bliss. Everything in his life was perfect.

  Carefree.

  But it was all pretend with her.

  This was his real life.

  The mother of his child had fallen.

  His son’s life was in danger.

  Nothing mattered more to him than his son.

  “I’m on my way,” Sam said and then threw his phone onto the passenger seat.

  Sam had been sitting in the waiting room for over an hour. When he had found parking at the hospital, he had raced to the ticketing machine and then returned to his Jeep to display the ticket. Beth’s father, Jonah Lewis, was waiting for him. The medical staff were assessing Beth and the baby. She hadn’t wanted anyone in the room with her while the tests were performed.

  Bouncing his right leg, he waited impatiently for the doctor to return. Jonah set a hand on his shoulder and told him that it would be okay. That the baby would be all right. Beth’s mother, Stacey, was in Sydney for a pharmaceutical convention. Jonah had told Sam that Beth had tripped on the last few steps of the staircase and that he’d found her crying. They had immediately gone to the hospital, and that was when he’d called Sam.

  Please let my son be okay.

  Please.

  “Mr Michaels,” the doctor called out.

  “That’s me!” Sam shot out of his seat and rushed over to the middle-aged doctor with light brown hair and thick black-rimmed glasses, who was holding a clipboard.

  The doctor gave him a nod. “Your son and Miss Lewis are both fine. She’s asking for you. Please follow me.”

  My son’s fine.

  Beth’s fine.

  They’re bo
th fine.

  “I’ll stay here and let you and my daughter have a moment,” Mr Lewis said behind Sam.

  Sam turned, nodded at Beth’s father, and followed the doctor. When Sam entered her hospital room, he found Beth lying down with her hands on her small belly.

  “I told my dad not to call you,” she said, sounding ashamed.

  “I’m glad he did,” Sam countered as he walked up to her bed. Then he bent down and kissed the top of her head. “I’ve been going through worst-case scenarios in my head on my drive here.”

  “I’m so sorry to have worried you. He’s okay. The doctor said that he wasn’t hurt or anything,” Beth said as she sat up properly.

  “I’ve never been more scared in my life.”

  Beth reached out and grasped his hand. “Thank you for being here.”

  He gently pulled her hand up and pressed a kiss on her knuckles. “I’m in this with you.” Then he brought the side of her face to his chest and wrapped his arms around her. “All the way, Beth.”

  A sob escaped her. “I was so scared we were going to lose him. Just the thought of a miscarriage …”

  “Hey,” he whispered and then pulled her back. “He’s okay.”

  Beth wiped away her tears. “You’re amazing, Sam—” Her gaze travelled south. “You look nice tonight. Where were you?”

  “Shit,” Sam breathed, realising what he’d forgotten to do.

  He was supposed to call Meredith after Beth’s father had told him that she was doing okay. But he hadn’t. He had no excuses; he had his phone in his pocket. He had even felt it vibrate several times, but he had ignored it.

  “It’s Meredith’s birthday,” he said in a tight voice.

  Beth’s lip trembled. “Oh, no.”

  “It’s okay. I’ll talk to her later. She’ll understand—”

  “No, she won’t,” Beth said angrily. “It’s her birthday, Sam. Each time you put this baby and me first, you shove her to the bottom of your priorities. And she takes you back every time. I’m ruining your lives. You should be together.”

  He shook his head. “I’m putting the mother of my child first.”

  Beth broke out in a sob. “But that’s just it. This isn’t even your baby. I cheated on you, Sam! I fucking cheated on you, and you forgave me! She deserves you. Not me.”

  “I told you, Beth. We’re in this together. I will raise that baby as my own. I’ll raise it in spite of that asshole. To show him what a father really is. We make mistakes, but a father knows when to put his son first. And that kid is mine. I’ve been there for ultrasounds and parenting classes. I’m gonna be there for every single one of his milestones, birthdays, and years. He may not have my DNA, but he’ll have my love.”

  Tears quickly escaped her. “Oh, God, what have we done,” she cried. “You’re taking responsibility for my mistake. You’ve destroyed your chance with Meredith. I can raise him on my own. You don’t need to sacrifice the rest of your life because I made one stupid mistake. Let me and this baby go, Sam. You deserve so much more than this.”

  Sam sat on the bed; his heart twisted and plunged in his chest. He had taken responsibility months ago. This was his son. No one else’s. He took hold of her hands and looked into her green eyes. Then he took a deep breath.

  “I’ve already watched him grow. I’ve heard his heartbeat and watched him in the ultrasounds. He’s my son, Beth. I would sacrifice my chance with Meredith a million times over to have him. I may love her, but I am in love with him. He needs a proper father. He needs me. Don’t take him from me. If you do, then all of this would have been for nothing. I need to be his dad. I need him to grow up loving me because when Meredith leaves me, I will have no one,” Sam said, his ex-girlfriend becoming a blur. He had blinked, and the warm tears slid down his face.

  “Sam,” she breathed.

  “I love him, Beth. I love him more than I love Meredith.”

  chapter twenty-eight

  MEREDITH

  Present

  The past never goes away.

  When it doesn’t stay hidden, it repeats itself.

  Meredith had known it all too well. Once Sam kissed her, she knew she was too far gone. She had become desperate. She wanted his lips all over her and then his hands. She had wanted this for seven years.

  He had finally said that he loved her.

  Now, she just needed to feel it.

  Feel it in every intimate way possible.

  To give some justification to their years apart.

  “Oh, God, Meredith,” Sam groaned when she had nipped at his bottom lip.

  His hands were desperate as they roamed all over her body. Her fingers gripped his jacket tightly as she began to undress him, all the while walking backwards. Once his jacket was off, she heard it drop.

  She took the initiative, and between their heavy kisses and panting, Meredith took off her pale blue cardigan. When she had freed her arms, she let it fall to the ground, not caring where it fell. Meredith’s arms then wound around his neck, trying to pull him as close to her as possible. His hard erection pressed against her stomach, letting her know just how much he wanted this, too.

  Sam’s hands travelled south, over the curves of her bottom cheeks until they rested on her thighs. “Up,” he said when he trailed his mouth to her jaw. He had bent his knees and lifted her, Meredith’s legs wrapping around him within seconds.

  Sam licked and nipped the length of her neck, and all Meredith could do was close her eyes and get lost in the pleasure that consumed her.

  Oh, how she missed his touch.

  Missed how he hadn’t forgotten her body.

  “Sam,” she moaned. She was becoming desperate. She needed more. She needed his naked body against hers. Needed to feel his skin against hers.

  She just needed him and the connection he deprived her of.

  He’d stopped his steps. “Meredith, I’m gonna have to put you down. Don’t want to drop you going up the stairs.”

  Meredith shook her head. “Lounge room. Dutch is upstairs,” she said, not recognising her lust-filled voice.

  Sam wasted no time as he carried her into the lounge and sunk his body into the leather couch so she could straddle him.

  “I’ve thought about this,” he said in a heavy voice, his eyes firmly on hers. “Every night when I closed my eyes, I thought of this with you. The last time we were together. I replay it, and I miss you all over again.”

  Tears threatened to make an appearance, and she swallowed hard to keep them at bay. She rocked her hips, feeling his hardness against her core. The pleasure sparked. Pleasure she had not known in years. Pleasure no man other than Sam had given her.

  Sam’s hands settled on her hips, guiding her to intensify the friction.

  Meredith let out a loud moan as her head fell back.

  “Oh, God. I need you, Sam,” she pleaded.

  “We gotta take our time. Our bodies aren’t the same,” he said.

  Meredith opened her eyes to see the determination in his. “So you want to go slow?”

  He licked his lips. “Yes. Slow.”

  She ducked down and let her lips press gently on his. “Slow,” she agreed as she reached for his wrists and guided his fingers to the hem of her tank top. Then she let go of him and raised her arms.

  Sam needed no further instruction as he lifted her top up and over her head. When the clothing was off, he threw it behind her. His hands had returned to her hips before they slid up the sides of her body until the weight of her breasts settled into his palms.

  He squeezed them once.

  And once was enough for her to let out a breathless moan and reach behind her. Her eyes locked on his as her chest heaved. Then she unclasped her bra and pulled both straps down to free her arms. The white lace found its way on the floor with the rest of her clothing.

 
He dropped his head so that his lips pressed a kiss on each nipple, causing them to tighten and ache for more than gentle kisses. Then, in one swift and graceful movement, he had her on her back. Sam got off the couch, her body already missing his against hers. In a matter of moments, he had shed his dark grey shirt and had unbuckled his belt. With a lot of finesse, he unsnapped his jeans and pushed them and his underwear to his ankles. He kicked off his shoes, stepped out of his pants, and peeled off his socks.

  She had tried to be intimate with two other men after Sam.

  Two men who had tested the waters but retreated when she had told them to leave. It was difficult for her to trust another man after him. She hadn’t been as intimate with anyone in seven years.

  Seven years since any man had pushed her to the very edge, and then over.

  Meredith’s hands trailed down her stomach until she found the button of her jeans. Just as he had, she unsnapped them and then dug her thumbs into her pants and underwear. With a wiggle of her hips, she had them down to her thighs before Sam had taken over. Thankful she had taken off her shoes as soon as she got inside the house, Sam pulled her bottoms off with absolutely no struggle.

  For the first time in years, they were both naked.

  Both bare to each other.

  As physically and emotionally vulnerable as they could get.

  Finding an ounce of courage within her, Meredith bent her knees and widened her legs. It appeared that he understood what she wanted as his body covered hers. His erection pressed against her.

  Then it became a blur of passion, kisses, and moans.

  He ground into her.

  Pleasure became a tidal wave that kept thrashing against her.

  Her breathing became gasps as his hardness slid against her in perfect movements.

  Meredith pulled his lips away from her neck as his eyes found hers.

  “Please, Sam, I can’t wait any longer. I need you inside me,” she begged.

  He nodded. “My condoms are in my car,” he said.

  A laugh escaped her, and he froze.