Lost Star

by Rebecca Royce

  “You’re right. Although, I doubt they’d see it that way.” He motioned toward the controls. “Want to fly for a bit?”

  That was funny, but I didn’t feel like laughing. “I can’t even use light switches. I lived a pretty powerless life in terms of electronics, machines, whatever. Corbin had to put up signs in places so that I’d figure out how to use them.”

  “He was always incredibly nice. Out of the whole group. I have no idea how he made it without being put down. Yes, he would do that. Not surprised. I’ll teach you. Most things are built to be what we’d call user-friendly. If you were working for me, I’d tell you to say that you should put your hands out and ask yourself if you wanted to do something, where would be the closest, easiest thing for you to do that with?”

  I rubbed my face. “How do I know what I want to do in this particular case?”

  “Well, you want to fly it forward. Tommy Sandler makes these ships so morons can fly them. You are not that. It’s very point and click. I kind of hate it, except that it really is the best. So I did the pointing. All we have to do now is click. So to speak. The ship is pointed in the right direction. You want to make it go faster. What do you want to do?”

  I put my hands on two pointy stick-like things that were poking out farther than anything else. “These.”

  I really hoped that didn’t put me suddenly in the moron category.

  He nodded fast. “That’s it. What do you want to do with them to make it go faster?”

  I thought about it for a long second. “Push them forward.”

  Devil let go of the controls. “Have at it.”

  I did. It took me a second to feel the engines speed up beneath my feet, but they were there. The ship went even faster. It was stupid. I’d really done nothing, but I was flying. “Can you show me the rest?”

  “By the time we get you home, you won’t worry about light switches. Everywhere you go, you’ll have a general idea of what to do. As much as anyone.”

  I loved that idea. “Thank you.”

  “Don’t thank me.”

  I was seeing a pattern here with that. He didn’t want to be thanked. “I wish there was something I could teach you. This is going to be one sided.”

  “Tell you what? If you promise not to zap me again, because I really hate that, we’ll call it even. I don’t think my brain can take a third Sienna zapping.”

  I held up my hand. “Unless you give me some sort of reason to zap you, I won’t again. We can call it a truce. I won’t think that you are a nightmare, and you won’t worry that I’ll hurt you.”

  He nodded. This Devil wasn’t who I had expected. Not even a little bit. He was taking me home, and for that, I would be grateful. Something beeped, and he pointed at it. “That’s the communicator.” Devil stared at it for a second. “Wade’s fine.”

  Devil grabbed the sticks in front of him that were the same as the ones I’d gripped earlier. He pushed them even harder, speeding up again.

  “Everything okay?”

  His nod was fast. “Yep.”

  For just a second, I wondered if he was lying.

  13 Home

  I must have fallen asleep in the chair, because I woke up suddenly, not having realized I’d conked out at all. I rubbed my eyes, and Devil looked over at me.

  “Hey.” He smiled. “Did you sleep well?”

  I nodded. “Sorry, I didn’t used to be the person to just fall asleep. I almost needed none at all. It’s either the medicines keeping me alive or the illnesses themselves. I’m always sleeping now.”

  “It’s nothing to worry about.” There was a blanket on my lap that hadn’t been there before. Devil must have put it on me. That was so…sweet.

  I wouldn’t have thought it of him. “Hope I wasn’t snoring.”

  He snorted, which made me smile. That was why I’d said it. “I wouldn’t care if you were, Sienna. Things like that really don’t bother me. But no, you weren’t.”

  “When they didn’t have you out cold on the ships in cryo sleep, where did you live? Sleep?” The question occurred to me just as I spoke the words. I didn’t know that about any of the guys. I knew what they did now, but nothing about before.

  He ran a hand through his hair, letting it out of the ponytail holder as he did. It fell to his shoulders. I’d been right. It was neatly trimmed and sleek.

  “They had beds for us. I was a commander, like Blaze, but I was more advanced than he was. Older by a few years. So we only had to share with one or two people, instead of the ten the others did. It’s not like we ever went home. Once they released us from the juvenile encampments, we worked all the time. It was cryo or the dorms on the ship. That was it. I didn’t really have a concept of home until I saw how the Chen Empire works. They gave me my own place to sleep. A kitchen. Bathroom. It was totally bizarre at first.”

  I smiled at him. “Kind of like how I feel on this ship.”

  “Right. But eventually, I got the hang of most of it. And so will you. It’s not like you were pulled out of the past. You lived on a terraformed planet with a fake sun that was created by colonists fleeing genocide. Right there, you know a tremendous amount of shit.” He winced. “Sorry.”

  I shook my head. “Go ahead and curse. I’m going to make us some food.”

  “I can. In a little bit. I just don’t want to leave the controls just yet.”

  A thought dawned on me. “Are you nervous about something? Is Evander after us?”

  “No. Evander is nowhere to be seen. They won’t catch me. Don’t worry about a thing.”

  He was lying, but I didn’t think it was about Evander. “When you want to tell me the truth, I’ll listen.”

  Devil turned to look at me. “You could tell?”

  “Yep.” I left the small control room and walked toward the tiny kitchen. Okay. I knew how to use the equipment on Artemis, and Devil had told me that most things were set up so that we could use them instinctually. If I didn’t know what to do, I’d try to wing it and hope I didn’t burn anything down.

  In the end, I managed to rehydrate and heat up two meals that looked pretty decent. I just had to hope I hadn’t stumbled onto another disgusting meal. I’d never thought about the food we’d eaten at the temple as special, but it turned out we were practically gourmets.

  “Hey, Dev.” I came in holding the plate. I’d decided on the nickname somewhere between the rehydrating and heating. I didn’t like calling him Devil, so I wasn’t going to do that anymore. Unless he objected. I set the plate down in front of him on the console, but it didn’t touch the buttons and levers. “Here you go. Hope the nickname is okay.”

  He took a bite and smiled. “This is great. Thanks. Never had a nickname before. I like it. You eating?”

  I sat down. “I probably should before my next round of passing out.” I took a look at the device on my arm. It read two. I stuttered. It had been at one the whole time I’d been awake. Now it was at two? My chest felt tight, and I had to remind myself to breathe. “I…”

  A strong hand stroked my arm. “What’s wrong?”

  The contact helped. “My number went from one to two.”

  “What does that mean? Are you okay?” He scooted closer to me. “Explain so I can help. This is what I do. I fix things for people.”

  I believed him. But he couldn’t help in this. “I’m okay. Wade gave me an indicator. I can see what the level of virus is in my body. Anything under ten is okay. He said it might jump around a bit. I’m okay. It’s at two. It’s just never been above a one.”

  He nodded. “Then two is okay. And it could be that you were hungry or that you just woke up. Or any number of things. You were in cryo before now. Maybe you’re going to level out, say at a five, and that’ll be where you hold. Don’t worry.”

  We didn’t have a doctor with us. “Don’t let me make you sick. Put me in that med machine if I get too high, okay?”

  “I’m a Super Soldier. I’m not going to get sick.”

  I rolled my
eyes at him. “You guys don’t like each other, but you’ve all got that same ego going on. I’m loaded with Evander sickness. I bet some of it could make you sick, considering that Evander is where you guys came from. They probably have something in their collection to wipe you guys out if they had to.”

  “Now that’s a disturbing thought.” He hadn’t let go of me yet, and his strong hold on my arm helped more than he could ever imagine. “What we need is to get on that Evander ship and find your cures. I’m surprised the guys didn’t try that.”

  I never wanted to see that ship again, ever. “Not such an easy thing to do.”

  “Evander is not unbreakable. Sterling and Damian, two of Diana’s husbands, managed to take us down, and Nolan boarded us with a crew that took us down. They can be beaten. That just wasn’t what those guys were trying to do with you. The question is why.”

  I didn’t know the answer to that. “The impression I got was that they felt it their duty to keep me safe beyond anything else. It was all about hide and deflect. Not getting caught. They all found it frustrating.”

  Dev winced. “That’s why Blaze and I never got along. We wouldn’t have done that if I’d been in charge. I would have seen it as protecting you to take down that ship.”

  “So Blaze is more cautious than you are.” I could see that. Also, the utter frustration at having to remain cautious, even if he wanted to do something else. It was probably why he got so moody. “Maybe there’s a middle ground.”

  “Probably, but I’ve never found it myself.”

  Did anyone? “Do you think that’s possible?”

  He shook his head. “I know less than anything about anything. Trust me on that.”

  I didn’t believe him. It seemed like he knew quite a bit about quite a lot of things. Not that I was going to say that. I stood up and stretched. Did people stay long periods of time on this shuttle? They must never get claustrophobic. I’d not thought about it on Artemis, but she was pretty big. I was going to notice I was in a small, walk-across-in-thirty-seconds sized ship before long.

  On this ship, I would notice I never saw the sky.

  Why hadn’t I known all the years at home how much I would crave real sunlight if I didn’t see it for a while, or how much I needed a blue sky?

  I rubbed my eyes. Okay, these thoughts weren’t helpful.

  “You all right?” He didn’t look at me as he asked, but he’d noticed I wasn’t.

  “Could you tell because of my heartbeat?”

  Dev smirked at me. It was sort of adorable. Wow. Who would have thought I’d ever think this man was cute?

  He shook his head. “I knew because you made a small noise that I think meant you weren’t okay. I could tell if you were scared or sick or exhausted from your heartbeat.”

  I wanted to run my hands through his hair and see if it was as soft as it looked. I wanted him to keep his eyes this warm and happy, to not retreat to the glacier glare he’d had that day when he’d come after me or in the hallway on Mars Station.

  Maybe it was the small quarters we were in, or maybe it was that he was the only one to listen to what I wanted…or maybe he was just really, really handsome. I bit my lip. All of that was probably true. And yet I still couldn’t not think about the six men I’d left behind, even though they were probably glad to be rid of me. Even Anders, who had told me he wanted to take care of me.

  I’d been a huge burden.

  Whatever happened now, I had to stop being that.

  A thought dawned on me, and I sat down. Maybe it was none of my business. He might very well tell me to mind my own business and I’d do just that. “How did they ever get you? You’re…you’re something of a legend. How did they capture you?”

  His smile was fast. “Thanks for that. A legend, huh? Probably more like infamous. Your Blaze doesn’t like me, and I can’t imagine those guys who worship him do either. Anyway, that doesn’t matter. How did they get me? I’d been up for eight straight days, and despite the fact that we don’t need as much sleep, I had to get a few hours. I closed my eyes. They picked right then to attack. I woke up in the middle of the attack. And…”

  Dev’s voice trailed off. I didn’t push. He’d finish if he wanted to.

  Finally, he did. “Maybe I was sick of it. I’d had a chance to see how people lived around here before we pillaged them. How there were these huge family groups that were fighting together. It seemed nice. I never imagined they’d take me in. I just didn’t want to hurt them anymore.”

  I threw my arms around him from the back of his chair. His body stiffened for a second before he stroked my arm that I held over his chest.

  “I guess even I had a limit.”

  “Thank you for taking me, Dev.”

  He squeezed me back. “You’re welcome, Sienna. I’m really glad for the chance to do this. Thank you for letting me.”

  I’d gone in such a short period of time from being completely afraid of this man, from zapping his brain, to embracing him like we were old friends. Life had been totally unpredictable to me lately. I almost couldn’t recognize my existence anymore.

  I let go of Dev before I did something ridiculous, like run my hands through his hair or stroke his cheek to feel his whiskers. I couldn’t lose track of reality. We really were just strangers.

  I had to remember that. Everyone in my life right now was a stranger. But I was going home. That was key. There would be people there who knew me, even if others had left. Home, I would get some answers.

  “Sienna,” a gentle hand shook my shoulder, “we’re here.”

  I blinked, rubbing my eyes. I was on the couch. I’d come into the small secondary room to clean up the food and sat down on the couch to rest. “Guess I conked out again.”

  Dev nodded. “That’s right. Question for you. One of the drugs that Wade is using to treat you, does it have a drowsy property?”

  “He didn’t say that to me. I suppose it’s possible. It may just be that I’m constantly using so much energy to stay healthy.” The thought made me look at my wrist. It was still at two. That was good. No further surge. Of course, one would be better. This was life now. Watching the numbers.

  Making a noise I didn’t understand in the back of his throat, Dev offered me his hand. I took it and let him help me up, even though I could have done it. His hand was solid, strong, and hard against my own. He wasn’t soft, except maybe inside, and I wasn’t even sure about that.

  Dev grabbed a water and passed it to me. “Are you hungry?”

  I really wasn’t. “No, thank you. Did we land? Did I miss it?”

  “No, I’m going to set down the ship now. If you’re not hungry, then we’ll get right to it. I want to get on the planet sooner than later.”

  That seemed an odd thing to say. “What’s going on?”

  “We’re being chased, and I don’t want anyone telling me that I can’t bring you down there.” He waved his hand. “Not that anyone can do that. No one outside of the Chen brothers tells me to do anything. But I’m trying to avoid having a fight, for your sake. So let’s do this thing.”

  I grabbed his arm. “Who is chasing us?”

  “Artemis. Those guys were not okay with me taking you off Mars Station. They’ve been trying to catch us ever since, rather impressively. I’ve got them on long-range sensors, which I think they must know, because they keep falling off the sensors. That’s remarkable.” He shook his head. “People don’t fall off the sensors when I’m running them.”

  A lot of that was completely foreign, like he spoke another language. “I think Trenton is supposed to be extraordinarily good at flying. They must be really upset that you knocked out Wade.” To chase us across the galaxy really showed their level of pissed.

  He shook his head as he made his way back to the control room. I followed behind him. “Then why are they following me?”

  “Because I took you.” He didn’t turn around. “And I get it. They want you back. But I’m not going to let them just have you. I nee
d you to know that. I can’t. Buckle in. You could get hurt.”

  As I did what he instructed, his words banged around in my head. He couldn’t? Why not? “Dev—”

  He shook his head, effectively cutting me off. “We’ll talk about it later. Let me get you home for now. The rest can wait. For a little while. There are a couple of options I need to mull over. Things I won’t like, things they won’t like. Everyone is going to have to deal, and we aren’t people who do that. I…” The ship jolted, but he didn’t seem concerned. “Never mind. This isn’t your problem. It’s ours. You’re pale. Are you scared about the idea of me talking to them? Or fighting with them?”

  I instinctually touched my hand to my throat. “No, crash landing.”

  He smirked at me. “So little faith in my skills? Here.” Dev pushed a button on the console, and suddenly, I could see outside. Sure enough, there was my planet. I’d seen pictures of it from the sky before, but never witnessed it myself. Tears rushed my eyes. Yes, it was blue, green, purple…that was what it looked like.

  “Thank you,” I whispered, slightly too overwhelmed to talk.

  “You’re welcome. But make that the last time you thank me. As the Chens would say, you humble me. And I don’t like to be humbled.”

  We didn’t speak again until he set us on the ground. Dev must have remembered where we’d been the last time, because I could see the temple in the distance. Well, what was left of it. I caught my breath in my throat. I’d thought I’d been prepared for this, but I absolutely was not.

  He shut off the view screen, and without a word, I followed him outside.

  The sun hit my skin like a welcoming beacon, but that was the only thing wonderful about getting off the ship. Otherwise, the place was destroyed.

  I rubbed at my arms. “Dev, I really don’t know how long I’ve been gone.”

  He came up behind me, the heat of his body warming the chill that the sight caused inside of me. For a second, I wondered if he could block out the sun and if that was something I wanted. Maybe it would just be better to have nothing here at all.