Hurt You

by Abby Mccarthy

  Jules moved my legs forward so that my knees were almost to my face, bending me in half. “Roll your nipples, baby,” he instructed. I did as I was told and rolled my nipples between my thumb and forefinger. From this angle, his body rubbed against my clit and his balls hit my ass. I couldn't help but scream out. I felt him move so deep inside of me that there was a twinge of pain. It didn't matter. I took it. I took everything. I wanted to warn him that I was going to come, but I couldn't even form coherent thoughts. My walls tightened around him and he followed me not long after.

  ***

  “I just want to stay right here with you, but I’m getting kind of chilly,” I said to Jules after our amazing escapades. I threw on his t-shirt and he slipped on his vest. We were sitting in the grass, but the night air and the lake below us were starting to make it damp. “I think I have a blanket in the trunk of my car. My brothers are always trying to make sure I have an emergency-everything, just in case.” Jules got up and retrieved the blanket from the car, then sat behind me and wrapped the blanket around the both of us. I felt comforted in this tiny cocoon he created around us. Jules wasn't one for idle chit-chat. He would usually talk when he had something on his mind, but I was finding that after sex, he was much more open.

  “Jules?”

  “Babe,” he answered while caressing my thighs.

  “I know you, but there is so much about you I don't know.”

  “What do you want to know?”

  “Is Jules even your real name? I heard a story about why they call you Jules and it isn't pretty.”

  “No, Babe. That story is anything but pretty. My full name is Julian Federico. The story you heard about why they call me Jules is half true. Some people already called me Jules for short but then that happened and just about everyone called me Jules.”

  “So, you really carved some dude’s junk?” There was a story I heard in passing about Jules getting his nickname from carving the family jewels.

  “It wasn't some dude. It was a sick pedophile that touched a little girl. No man should put his hands on a woman or a kid. Period. I have no problem being judge, jury, or executioner when it comes to shit like that,” Jules said, still remaining perfectly calm. It might bother some women to think of a man being so violent, but I felt comforted by the fact that he would protect a child.

  “Alright Julian,” I said smirking, “I just learned something super valuable about you.”

  “Don’t call me Julian,” he warned.

  “Okay Jules. Why didn't you tell me you were Italian, Mr. Federico?”

  “Relax Jenny. Don't get all excited now. My Dad was only half. I’m also Irish and German.”

  “Still an Italian last name… there’s hope for you yet,” I joked.

  “I bet your mom would be pleased,” he said kissing my cheek. We sat for a few more minutes in silence and I thought about what my mom would really think of Jules. I think, at first, she would be nervous because he is a biker, but then she would see that he is a good man under the tough exterior.

  “Why did you become a Devil’s Crusader, Jules?”

  “A few reasons. When I got out of the military, I drifted. Being at war changes a man. My perception of everything was different. Once you kill a man that can’t be undone. You are never the same as you were before. Some men can pretend like it never happened, but for me I embraced it. Killing isn't something I’ll ever take lightly, but it’s something I’m good at and can do it when I need to.”

  I gasped. I knew the Devil’s Crusaders were dangerous, but was Jules a killer? “Is that what you do for the club? You kill people?”

  “Relax, Babe. After I got hurt, I worked in an office and did accounting. I do the books for the club. Doesn't mean I won't defend myself or any of my brothers if I need to, though.”

  “So, how did you end up with them?” I asked.

  “You know Patrick?”

  I nodded.

  “I met him and we would do some jobs together. We both liked to ride, then one day we got into a situation and met Draygon and Mickey. It was a good fit for us. The rest is history.”

  Well, that was vague, but I supposed that’s all he was going to give me. Jules sharing with me did something to me. It made me want to share my demons with him, but I knew that it was my cross to bear. As strong as the Devil’s Crusaders were, I wasn’t so naive to think that they were capable of taking on the Italians. It would also mean that my brother Carlo would be put right in the middle of it.

  “And here you are,” I said, leaning into him.

  “Here I am,” he agreed, holding me.

  We sat under the stars with the blanket wrapped around us until the sun was almost up. We talked some, but mostly enjoyed the quiet. Before we parted ways, I promised to be at the clubhouse visiting Maura on Friday. I would try to make us work without anyone knowing. Jules carved his way under my skin, and there was no getting him out.

  Chapter 8

  The next month flew by. I would see Jules every opportunity I could. He became an addiction. When I could breathe him in, it was everything. It was a high I couldn't get enough of. We were always fierce and exciting. There was a thrill in no one knowing about us. It felt like as long as no one knew, then we could stay in this blissful place.

  I kept busy during the day and anticipated my time with Jules. My Aunt Marcella sent Aubrey and her daughter Ari to live with my mom. I liked her instantly, but felt like she had demons of her own. I busied myself with helping her get settled. Her daughter, Ari, was close to Gino’s age and they hit it off right away. Carlo thought it was best that when we had family dinners that it was only family, which meant Antonio hadn’t been around much. It was a reprieve and I welcomed it.

  Maura was going on a weekend benefit poker run with her dad. She helped organize the two-day event and was proud of everything she accomplished. The bikers had a bunch of stops over two days. Each place they would go to they would pick a card from a deck and got to play two hands of cards. The person at the end who had the two strongest hands won a cash prize. This was a party just as much as it was to raise money. People gathered when all of the bikes drove through. It was a parade of metal, or so she described it to me. I would not be going. No, she asked me to cottage sit and I was all too eager to say yes.

  Once Jules found out that we could have a weekend alone together he “mysteriously” had a bike issue and couldn’t go. He told me Dray needed some guys to stay back, so he really didn't mind, and I couldn't bring myself to feel guilty. We never had time like this. The weather was still warm, and even though I was on Lake Green, it felt like we were going away together. I loved it.

  I made it to the cottage before Jules, and popped my homemade stuffed shells into the oven. I made them at home so all I had to do was heat and ‘Voila!’ The cottage was filled with Italian yumminess, and by that I mean garlic and fresh herbs.

  “Babe!” I heard Jules call out from the door. It was an open floor plan, so as soon as I stood up from the oven, taking out our feast, I could see him through the screen door.

  “Kitchen,” I called back. He set a few bottles of red wine on the counter. I put the salad bowl I’d grabbed down and threw myself into his arms.

  He had on a white t-shirt and jeans. I could see the contours of his muscles through the material, and it just did things to me. He just did things to me. I couldn’t help it. I was wild. I kissed him hard and ran my fingers through his short styled hair. It was still a little wet and I could tell he had recently showered.

  “That’s the greeting I get? I might just have to hole us away in a cottage permanently. You, me, some good food, red wine; a man could get used to it,” Jules said with a spark of excitement in his blues.

  “I could so get used to it!”

  “Do you know where she keeps her opener? I’ll let the wine breathe.”

  “I do know,” I said, grabbing it from the silverware drawer. “Wine glasses are in the cupboard to the left of the fridge. Do you want to grab pla
tes while I finish the salad?”

  “On it,” he said, kissing me on my collar bone and moving away from me.

  “You know, you keep that up we won’t make it to dinner. It would be a shame too since I’m starved.”

  “Didn’t you get a lunch break today?” he asked.

  “Actually, no. I had a walk-in ten minutes before lunch and Sally begged me. Then, I didn't want to eat and ruin dinner. Relax. I’m good, I was teasing.”

  “Babe, if you’re hungry, you eat. Don't wait for me. I’m a man. I’m always gonna eat. So, if we didn't eat until late I’d be alright.”

  I smile at my sweet man, “Truth is, I was a little nervous too,” I admit.

  “Why are you nervous? It’s just us.”

  “I know that, but we never have this and I want it to be perfect.”

  Jules lifted the foil off of the casserole dish and saw the stuffed shells. He licked his lips and it sent me into overdrive. “You made me homemade stuffed shells?”

  “I did,” I said with a smile.

  “Then hell yes, tonight is going to be perfect,” he said winking at me.

  We ate dinner and drank wine. I told stories about some of my clients, including crazy old Mrs. Dee who is ninety-one and insists on me dyeing her hair pink. Which is bizarre, but not the worst of it. The worst is she has a small poodley thing that she has the groomer dye to match her hair. He laughed at my stories and then shared stories about some of the crap they make the prospects go through. I’d heard some of these stories from Maura but hearing Jules tell them was hysterical.

  “How about you? What funny stuff happened to you?” I asked Jules as I poured the last glass from our second bottle.

  “Like I’d just volunteer that information.”

  “You wouldn't tell? Not even me? I’m wounded,” I said, playfully slapping his arm. Jules grabbed my wrist and he changed from playful to sinfully sexy as he kissed the inside of my wrist and moved his mouth up my arm, over my shoulders and up my neck.

  We made love on the living room floor and fell asleep in each other’s arms on a heap of pillows and blankets. Something about having sex in my virginal friend’s bed didn't sit right with me. Jules didn't mind. He woke me two more times in the middle of the night, just to show me how much he didn't mind.

  Saturday morning was spent much the same way. We ate when we needed to, but mostly we stayed wrapped up in a heap of tangled limbs. It didn’t hurt that it was a rainy morning. By three in the afternoon, the sun came out, and we decided to make use of the grill.

  I had on cut off jean shorts and a tank top. I slipped my feet into Maura’s flip flops and met Jules out by the grill.

  “Grill’s lit. Just need about twenty minutes for it to warm up,” Jules said as I walked up to him and slipped my arms around his waist.

  “Twenty minutes, huh? What can we do to fill twenty minutes?” I said, waggling my eyebrows. I was teasing and he knew it. Neither of us could go again if we tried.

  “I know just the thing,” Jules said, squeezing my tit and walking away.

  “Hey, tit grabs will get you everywhere,” I joked.

  Jules picked up a Frisbee that was laying on a picnic table. “You ever play?”

  “I grew up with six brothers. Of course, I play. I’m competitive at everything. So the real question is, are you ready to get your ass handed to you by a girl?”

  “Bring it,” Jules said, backing up and sailing the Frisbee my way. I caught it no problem and flung it back in his direction. We did this for a bit. I was getting a workout. Jules was good. The way he jumped to catch it if I threw it wild reminded me of Gus. Instead of this thought making me miss Gus, it made me appreciate Jules even more. I had just thrown the Frisbee high and to the left and Jules dove for it, catching it before it hit the ground.

  He got up and flew the Frisbee far and wide. I went after it full speed. I would’ve caught it too if it wasn't for the flip flops I had on and the still slippery grass. Right as I was about catch it, I slipped the last second and landed into a large pricker bush. “Aghh!” I screamed as the tiny prickers cut into my skin. Seeing the mess I was in, I calmed down and began to try and untangle myself while doing the least amount of damage.

  Jules rushed to my side, “Babe,” he said softly when he saw the shape I was in.

  I tried to move and whimpered a little as the tiny pricker sliced another part of my skin. “I’d be able to move, if it wasn't caught in my hair,” I said, doing my best to stay calm.

  “Don’t move. I’m coming in after you.”

  “Jules, no! You’ll just get cut up too.”

  “Babe, you bleed, I bleed. I’m right there with you,” he said and was in the pricker bush pulling it away from me as gently as he could. That might have been one of the sweetest things any man had ever said to me. He was right there with me.

  I could tell he was getting cut too, but he didn't show it. He pulled each pricker away from me as gently as he could until finally we were both able to get free.

  “I’ll shut off the grill. I want to take a look at the damage,” Jules said, leading me back into the cottage and into the bathroom.

  He started the shower and helped me take off my shirt. I had a long scratch on one arm and with the adrenaline wearing off, I had to admit I was slightly miserable.

  “Only me! I swear it,” I said, laughing at myself and the absurdity of it all as I stepped into the hot spray. Jules took his clothes off and got in after me. He tended my small cuts and washed them. I had some prickers left in my hair and he helped pull them out and then when the last one was out he washed my hair. He kissed every tiny cut after he washed it and he cared for me like I never could’ve imagined.

  After we got out of the shower, Jules again took care of me. It was soft and sweet this time, careful not to disturb my tiny cuts. It wasn't until much later that we finally got the grill restarted and Jules decided that he was going to kill the bush. I didn't argue.

  I kissed Jules goodbye, as hard as it was for me to do. I didn’t want it to end. Not then, and if I was honest with myself, not ever. Despite it ending with me in a bunch of tiny Band-Aids, that weekend was one of the best weekends of my life.

  ***

  The miracle of all miracles happened; Maura found a man. This was amazing because Maura deserved a man. He was more like sex on a stick; one very bad ass Marine, who could kick some major ass. The downside to this was almost as soon as they met, they left town, which meant I was having serious Jules withdrawals. With no Maura at the clubhouse, I lost my reason to be there, which meant I was not seeing Jules. Because he was my drug, I needed him.

  It had been almost a week without seeing him, which was the longest stretch we had gone. My phone rang displaying a number that I didn't recognize, “Hello?” I asked, unsure who was calling me from this number.

  “Yeah Jenny. It’s Daws. Maura needs you.”

  “I’ll be right there. Where are you?” I asked nervously, concerned for my friend.

  “We’re at the clubhouse. How fast can you get here?”

  “On my way,” I said and disconnected the call.

  I rushed to the clubhouse, both needing to be there for my friend and hoping that I could see Jules. I was scared for my friend and didn’t know what was wrong; just that she needed me. I hoped like hell that Maura was okay. I wanted nothing more than happiness for her.

  Turk, one of the guys in the club, waved me through the gate. I hurried into the clubhouse, saw my friend, and quickly rushed to her with open arms. As I pulled away from the hug, I saw a half-gone bottle of Jack Daniels. Maura looked terrible. “Hey, Hon. You should’ve called me. Are you okay?” I asked her.

  “No,” she whimpered, and I pulled her into my arms again, holding her tighter. I needed to do something to lighten the mood, so I did what I do best in stressful situations, I made her laugh. “Well, you smell like shit, Hon,” I said and grabbed her bottle and took a swig, then shuddered. “Woo, that’s some strong shit. Did you
drink all of that by yourself?” I asked, hoping she didn’t.

  “No. To be fair, I had a good amount, but a third was gone when Tits over there gave me the bottle. Daws had some too,” Maura said with pain lacing her words.

  “Well, do you want to get fucked up? Or do you want to talk about what’s going on?” I asked her.

  “Thinking I still want to get fucked up,” she replied.

  “Well, alrighty. No more of this whiskey bullshit. If I’m getting tanked with you, let’s have some fun. Hey, Tits Magoo! How about a couple of Red-Headed Sluts? Daws, do you want one?” I asked trying to turn this bad situation into something else; knowing that when Maura was ready she would open up and talk about what’s wrong.

  “Sure, I’ll take one,” Daws said. I was so into taking care of Maura that I didn’t notice Jules sitting at the bar at first, but he was there watching me. After our shots and some ridiculous toasts, I felt his eyes on me. It took all the restraint I could muster not to run to him and wrap my arms around him. I missed him and needed him near.

  “Hey, Jenny. I gotta get going. Got business. You got her?” Daws asked me. I was barely paying attention because Jules got up from the bar and was making his way over here.

  “Like you even have to ask,” I said, trying to make light of the situation even though my pulse was pounding harder and harder with every step closer Jules took to us.

  “Good. Don’t leave with her. You got it?” Daws asked, looking torn on leaving.

  I saluted him and responded with a curt, “Got it.”

  Daws hugged Maura, but I was barely paying attention because Jules walked up and said quietly, “You’re looking sexy as fuck these days, Jenny.” He was outwardly flirting which wasn’t like him at all. I felt a blush come over my cheeks and I wanted to say so much to him. I wanted to tell him I missed him and that I hate that it’s been a week without him. I wanted to say to hell with everything, let’s get lost together, but I didn’t. I let him walk out the door and pretended everything was fine. I should’ve been upset that Jules outwardly flirted with me, but I couldn't bring myself to care. No one knew what was going on with the two of us and I’d be lying if I didn't admit that Jules letting me know he thought I looked sexy didn't thrill me.