Rainy Days

by Victoria Zagar

  “Where’s Taryn?” Ash asked, looking around. “She was just here!”

  “Damn!” Michael said. He looked back inside the reptile house. “Taryn! Where are you?”

  “She was right here,” Ash said. “Where the hell did she go?”

  “We shouldn’t have been playing games. TARYN!”

  “Oh my fucking God. Michael.” He grabbed Michael’s arm and pointed him towards the gorilla pen. Taryn was inside, a door left carelessly open in the cage’s side. They raced over to the cage.

  “TARYN!” Michael yelled. Taryn turned to her father. The gorillas were starting to round on her.

  “I’m going in.” Ash pushed the crowds out of the way and jostled past the staff who were crowding around the gate in shock. The gorillas were close to Taryn and Ash raced through the mud and leaves as Michael held the onto the bars in terror. Ash scooped up Taryn and shielded her as the gorilla attacked. Ash put his arm up to protect himself and Michael heard it snap with a sickening crunch.

  “ASH!” Michael cried out. Everything that matters to me is in that cage. He raced around and pushed the staff aside. Ash plucked Taryn up with his good arm and raced towards the cage door, rushing through. The staff slammed it shut behind him.

  Ash handed Taryn back to Michael. She was crying and Michael held her tightly, kissing her and checking she wasn’t hurt.

  “Ash, your arm!” Michael said, looking at it twisted out of shape.

  “I think it’s broken. Don’t worry. Taryn, are you hurt?”

  “I’m OK!” Taryn said. “Mr. Ash, what about you?”

  “I’ll be fine,” Ash smiled through gritted teeth. “Michael, let’s get to the hospital. Let’s go before there’s a lot of fuss and press.”

  “Good idea,” Michael’s heart was racing. “Ash, you could have been killed.”

  “Don’t worry about it,” Ash said, as they rushed to the car. Michael strapped Taryn in and they took off, Michael speeding to the emergency room with a look of concern on his face.

  They piled out of the car and into the hospital reception area, where the doctors saw Ash immediately. Michael and Taryn sat in the waiting area. Taryn was still crying.

  “He’s going to be okay,” Michael said, though he wasn’t sure if he was reassuring Taryn or himself. “Taryn, why did you go into the cage?”

  “I wanted a closer look. I didn’t know they were so mean. I’m so sorry!” She started crying again, and Michael hugged her.

  “It’s okay honey, don’t worry. It’s okay.” Michael soothed her.

  “Um, are you any relation to Mr. Fallow?” A doctor stood in front of them, and Michael sighed.

  “He’s a friend,” Michael said. It wouldn’t matter if I said boyfriend. They wouldn’t let me in, and Taryn would ask questions.

  “He’s going to be okay. The break’s been complicated by some previous injuries, but he’s going into surgery to correct it now. Is there any next of kin I can contact?”

  “I don’t think so. He lives alone. As far as I know.” He added the qualifier as an afterthought, but the doctor noticed and gave him an odd look. Should have just kept my mouth shut. “Previous injuries?”

  “I’m not at liberty to discuss it. If all goes well, he should be released tonight.” The doctor walked away.

  Michael sighed. “I guess we should go home. I’ll have to explain to Mom what happened.” They stood up and walked out of the hospital.

  “OK.” Taryn said. “Mr. Ash was so cool.”

  “He was, wasn’t he?” Michael said, loading her into the car. “Very brave.” He closed his eyes and let out a deep sigh as they drove home. He opened the house door and Taryn ran into Michelle’s arms.

  “What happened?” Michelle asked, seeing Michael’s tired face.

  “Taryn ran off. The caretakers left the gorilla pen open. She got in. My one coworker, Ash, he saved her and got a broken arm in the process.”

  “Oh my God,” Michelle said, clutching Taryn tightly. “Taryn, are you hurt?”

  “I’m fine, Mom. Mr. Ash protected me.”

  “Dammit, Michael!” Michelle said. “She could have been killed! Where were you? Why weren’t you watching her? We already lost one child. Do you want to lose the other?”

  I was with my lover, Ash, Michael wanted to say, but instead all he managed was, “I’m sorry.”

  “Get out of my sight. I don’t care where you go. Just go away. Get away from my daughter.”

  “Our daughter. Don’t you dare claim otherwise.”

  “You put her in danger! You can’t even manage a simple trip to the zoo without screwing something up! What kind of father are you?”

  Michael walked out, slamming the screen door behind him. I know I should have been the one in that cage and not Ash, he thought. I know that. When the moment came, I froze. I was so scared I didn’t know what to do. If Ash hadn’t been there...

  By the time he pulled into the hospital parking lot, it was getting dark. He stood at the reception desk. “Yeah, I’m looking for a room number.”

  “What’s the name?”

  “Ashley Fallow.”

  “Room 203.”

  “Thanks,” Michael said. He found the room and let himself in, closing the door behind him.

  “How are you feeling?”

  “I’ve been better,” Ash said. “Is Taryn okay?”

  “She’s fine. You’re her new hero. I just took her home. Michelle told me to go away. She’s pissed at me for putting Taryn in harm’s way.”

  “I guess I shouldn’t be surprised,” Ash reached out his good arm. “Come closer.”

  Michael walked up to his bedside and leaned over, kissing him. “You saved my daughter’s life. I don’t know how I can ever repay you.”

  “I just did what came naturally. I wasn’t going to leave her to die in there.”

  “I did.” Michael looked down at his shoes. “I was useless.”

  Ash gripped his hand tightly. “You were not. You’re a father. You were scared. It’s only natural.”

  “Michelle doesn’t think so. She thinks I’m a worthless father. She pretty much said so.”

  “Forget her. Would a worthless father take his daughter to the zoo to make her smile? Would he?”

  “I shouldn’t have been flirting with you. We could have lost her.”

  “I know that. I know I screwed up. I’m not used to having a child in my life, but Taryn’s awesome. I totally get it now. I understand why you have to stay with Michelle. It was nice though - just for a few hours - pretending that we were a family.”

  Michael felt a lump rising in his throat and swallowed it down. “The doctor said you had previous injuries. What happened?”

  “My mom’s boyfriend liked to hit me when I was a teenager,” Ash said. “Broke my arm a couple of times. Why do you think I didn’t freak out like most people do when they break a bone? I’d done it before. After my father died, my mom had to do everything on her own. It didn’t go so well. I wasn’t a good kid. Her new boyfriend didn’t really care for me. Like I said before, it’s all ancient history now.”

  “I’m sorry. I forget there’s still a lot we don’t know about each other. I didn’t even know your surname until just now.”

  “We’ll learn,” Ash squeezed Michael’s hand. He climbed out of bed, his bad arm in a cast and sling. “Help me get dressed, will you? I want to get out of here.”

  Michael stripped Ash of his hospital robe, tenderly kissing up his chest as the stark material fell to the floor in a heap. “I don’t know what I would have done if you or Taryn had died in there.”

  “It’s okay. I’m safe. Taryn’s safe.” He reached his good hand up and touched Michael’s face. “I’ll never let anything happen to you or Taryn. I swear it.”

  “I love you so much,” Michael said. “I was scared when I first said that, but I know it’s the truth. I love you so much I don’t know what to do. Everything’s gotten so mixed up.” He eased Ash’s jeans on.

/>   “Don’t worry about it. It’ll work itself out, Michael.” He smiled. “Let’s go home, shall we? Michelle doesn’t want you, fine. You can sleep in my bed tonight.”

  Chapter Nine

  Dirty Little Secret

  The rain drummed steadily on the roof as Michael and Ash entered the Tower Heights apartment. Michael helped Ash take his jacket off and wrapped a supporting arm around him.

  “Don’t worry, I can get to the chair,” Ash said. “I’m not made of glass. Could you grab me a cold one, though?”

  “Sure,” Michael let go of Ash and made his way to the kitchen, where he opened the fridge. He grabbed a couple of beers and headed into the living room. He opened a can and handed it to Ash. Ash took a sip and visibly relaxed.

  “Long day.”

  “Yeah, tell me about it.” Michael slumped down on the sofa next to Ash. “Thank you for everything.”

  “Sorry it didn’t turn out to be a better day,” Ash said. He handed Michael his beer and turned on the TV. The local news was on.

  “Somehow, the child was able to get into the cage. This footage was taken by an eyewitness. It is unclear who the people in the footage are, but we do know the child was rescued unharmed.” The shaky footage showed Ash shielding Taryn. Michael’s hand found Ash’s and squeezed it.

  “You saved her,” Michael said. “I don’t know what I would have done if she’d been hurt...” He leaned in and kissed Ash, a long, slow, loving kiss. His hands caressed Ash’s face, his eyes closing as he savored the taste and feel of Ash’s lips on his.

  “What are you going to do about Michelle?” Ash whispered, pulling away.

  “She’ll come around. Tomorrow I’ll go home and patch things up. It’s best to leave her alone for now.”

  “As long as you’re okay with staying the night. She won’t ask where you’ve been?”

  “She might. I’ll tell her I stayed at a friend’s place, or got a motel room.” Michael shrugged. “I want to stay here tonight.”

  Ash reached over and stroked Michael’s leg with his hand, slipping his good arm across to his groin.

  “We shouldn’t. You’re hurt.”

  “I told you, I’m not made of glass. I’m not going to abstain for six weeks.” Ash sighed. “I don’t know what I’m going to do about work, though. They can’t fire me for getting hurt, but I can’t afford to live without an income.”

  “I’m sorry. This is all my fault.”

  “No, it’s not. I wanted to protect you and Taryn. I don’t regret what I did for one second.”

  “Don’t worry, I won’t let you starve. I don’t have a lot of money, but I’ll do the best I can to help you.”

  “I sold my truck to the scrap yard,” Ash said. “It’s toast anyway. I got a few hundred for parts, so I’ll pay my rent and the rest can wait.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out his cigarettes, tossing them on the table before leaning back in to kiss Michael. His good hand roamed between Michael’s legs and Michael didn’t protest this time as Ash awkwardly unzipped Michael’s pants with one hand and freed his cock, leaning over to take it in his mouth. Michael watched with hungry eyes as Ash worked him with his mouth. Ash’s eyes met his and Michael felt a shiver of desire run through him as Ash eagerly sucked him off.

  Ash stopped suddenly, letting Michael’s shaft slip from his mouth and he kissed his way up Michael’s body, removing his shirt as he went. Michael helped him, pulling the shirt over his head before Ash’s lips found his mouth. A rumble of thunder broke the silence and Michael kicked his pants off. Ash stood up and took Michael’s hand. Michael let himself be led to the bedroom, where Ash gently pushed him up against the wall and ground into him. Michael worked on removing Ash’s clothes between kisses and it wasn’t long before Ash’s clothes piled up on the floor. Ash worked around his broken arm, easing Michael down onto the bed with his free hand as he went for the lube and condoms, bringing them back around the bed. Ash handed Michael a condom packet to open, but he tossed it aside. Ash smiled a warm smile, feeling Michael’s trust.

  “I don’t think we need those any more,” Michael said, opening the bottle of lube and spreading lube on Ash’s cock. Ash reached out and took some on his finger, warming it before probing Michael’s asshole. Michael squirmed beneath him and Ash smiled. He removed his finger and positioned his cock with one hand, slowly easing his way into Michael. He gasped at the sensation as Michael took him in, leaning in for a kiss before beginning to slowly thrust.

  It was slow, controlled and loving in a way they’d never been before, Michael taking care not to aggravate Ash’s broken arm. The storm outside only added intensity to the air, the lightning flashing as the power went out and they fucked in the dark, moving as one in the still air, pants and moans the only sounds other than the rolling thunder. They built up a faster pace until Ash could take no more, With a cry, he came inside Michael, filling him up with his seed. As he slipped out, he took Michael’s cock in his hand, stroking him until he came onto his chest with a gasp. The storm grew closer, the thunder rolling overhead as the wind rattled the windows. Ash crawled up onto the bed and found Michael’s waiting arms, curling up on the other man’s chest as the rain beat against the window. Michael's hands roamed through his hair and gently caressed his face.

  “I love you so much,” Michael whispered, staring into Ash’s blue eyes. “I could just stay here forever.”

  “You could. We could be like this every night.”

  Michael’s cellphone rang in the other room. Michael ignored it, tenderly kissing Ash. “I wish we could,” he whispered. “If it wasn’t for Taryn, I’d leave Michelle in a heartbeat.”

  “I know,” Ash said. “I know.” He used his free hand to trace a line down Michael’s chest. “I don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t come into my life. I was starting to think that nobody wanted me.”

  “I want you.”

  The power came back on, the lights and clocks springing back into action as though time had stopped while they were making love.

  Ash sat up with sudden urgency and sighed. “Michael, there’s... something I need to show you.”

  “That sounds ominous.”

  “Depending on your perspective, it might be a deal-breaker.” Ash stood up and walked into the living room. Michael followed, a knot of fear tightening in his stomach. Figures he’d have a secret. Everyone has secrets.

  Ash reached up to the top of his DVD shelf and brought down a dusty DVD case. He shielded it from Michael’s view and put the disc in the player, turning on the TV and hitting play, then fast forward. A hotel room came into focus and he played it at normal speed. A younger Ash was sitting on a bed, playing with himself, when an older man entered the room. Ash leaned in and took his cock in his mouth, sucking it with practiced ease. Another man came in and started to jerk Ash off. Ash bent over on the bed, and the man took him from behind, penetrating him slowly as he sucked the other man’s cock.

  “You were in a porno?” Michael’s eyes widened, as the knot of fear turned into a mixture of desire and jealousy.

  “Ten years ago I found myself in severe financial trouble,” Ash said. “I couldn’t find a job. A friend of mine said he had a good job in California if I could get there. This was the job.” He slumped on the sofa, watching himself get fucked with shame on his face. “At the time, I thought it was a great gig. Money for doing what I loved. My friend did it too, though we never did it together. Just as well, because a couple months later, he was diagnosed with HIV. Production was shut down and we all got tested. I was clean, but I was too scared to go on. Suddenly it wasn’t fun any more, so I came home to this conservative town where nobody would know what I had done.” He sighed. “You trusted me. You let me fuck you bareback. So you have a right to know.”

  “Jesus.” Michael kept looking at the screen, unable to turn his eyes away as he digested the facts. “What happened to your friend?”

  “He died a few years later. It ate him up inside that he pass
ed a death sentence on to at least three others. He didn’t take good care of himself. The last time we talked, he had full-blown AIDS. He died shortly after that.” Ash reached for the cigarettes on the table, putting one in his mouth and lighting it with a shaky hand. “I should have told you sooner. I’m sorry. I was just scared that a family man like you would run screaming.”

  “It doesn’t change anything,” Michael said, sitting down next to Ash. “You’re okay, right? So there’s nothing to worry about.”

  “Are you jealous?”

  “A little. I know that’s insane. You didn’t even know me then.” Michael shrugged. “Of course you fucked other guys. It’s not like you were my first, either.” He stole one of Ash’s smokes from the pack and lit up. “It’s hot, too, watching you get fucked like this.”

  Ash turned his head away, embarrassed. Michael leaned over and turned Ash’s face back to him, looking deeply into his eyes. “Don’t look away. You have nothing to be ashamed of.”

  In the video, another man entered the room and Ash started to suck his cock as well, alternating between blow-jobs as the other man fucked him. Michael felt himself growing hard despite the fact he was already spent. The knot of jealousy seemed to only make his fire burn brighter as he felt wanton need uncurl in his gut.

  “You honestly find it hot?” Ash asked.

  “It’s you, getting fucked while sucking off two guys. A straight man would get hard, it’s that damn hot.” Michael gasped as Ash snuffed out his cigarette on the table, pressed him down on the sofa and took him into his mouth, sucking his cock while Michael watched the video where Ash serviced two cocks with enthusiasm. They finished on his face as Michael gasped and came into Ash’s mouth. Ash swallowed and reached over for the remote, turning the video off. “So there you have it. My dirty little secret. Still love me?”

  “You bet.” Michael smiled. “You really like sucking dick, don’t you?”

  Ash smirked. “Just a bit.” His expression grew serious as he melted into Michael’s arms. “That part of my life is behind me now. I just want to know that you don’t see me any differently.”