Belong

by Jennifer Foor

  I pulled my phone out of it’s holster and redialed Chad’s number. He answered on the first ring.

  “You can’t just give up on us.”

  I closed my eyes as I spoke. “I have to. It’s the only way I can move on. Listen, this isn’t easy for me either, but it needs to be done. You’re in California with your family. I’m here with mine. I told you I’d sign over the house, what else do you expect from me, Chad?”

  “Don’t be this way.”

  “I’ve thought about this again and again. It’s over. It doesn’t matter what your grandfather thought. We can’t be together. All odds are against us. Call it quits before it gets ugly and we end up resenting each other. I’m hanging up now, and I’ll have my lawyer contact yours so it’s easier. Goodbye, Chad. I’m very sorry it had to be this way.”

  I hung up the phone and turned off the power, so he couldn’t get through to me.

  I had to severe ties with Chad and the life we’d never have together. First thing in the morning I’d contact an attorney to have Charles’ will overturned, at least the part when he’d deeded Chad and I the estate.

  This was going to end, whether I wanted it to or not.

  Chapter 33

  I kept telling myself I’d be okay without her; it’s what I had to do to convince myself it was true. Rachel consumed my thoughts, and as much as I wanted to be there for my wife and daughter, I was falling short of my responsibilities, burying myself in work to hide the pain of losing the one I wanted to be with.

  The inconceivable reality of what was occurring had sent me into a deep spiral, and I felt as if I was spinning out of control with no means to an end.

  Her call ignited something inside of me. Right away I’d been awakened. As quickly as it happened, it was taken away when she ended the conversation. I was eager to hear her voice again, desperate to change the outlook of our future.

  Instead of going home, because my new apartment wasn’t available for another two weeks, I went online and booked the first flight I could get back to Maryland. It was much better than having to ignore Veronica like the plague. She’d been on my last nerve, pretending she didn’t feel well to grab my attention.

  My mind stayed focused on Rachel as I entered my credit card information in, using the business account to keep Veronica from knowing.

  I had to see her, and I didn’t care what I was risking. The sheer agony I heard in her voice left me needing to comfort her in ways I’d never be able to accomplish thousands of miles away.

  I gathered my briefcase and headed to the airport, not even worried about clothing or other necessities. In my mind I wasn’t clearly thinking about things I might need while away. All I wanted was to hold Rachel in my arms and promise to never let her go.

  I was already tired of fighting my heart. There had to be a way to convince Veronica we should all move to Maryland, so I could have a life with Rachel, while still being a father to my children. In my head I had it all planned out. I’d give Veronica the mansion, or offer her a million in cash to make the move. It had to work. If she respected anything about me, it was the fact that I was an outstanding father.

  The six and a half hour flight couldn’t come soon enough. I considered telling Rachel I was coming for a visit, but I knew she’d fight me again. This time I wasn’t taking no for an answer.

  I took a nap during the long ride across the United States. My mind was all over the place, consumed by fear this visit wouldn’t go as smoothly as I was seeing it play out in my head.

  Once I finally arrived at BWI airport, I grabbed a cab and set out to head to Rachel’s home. It was after midnight, and I struggled with what I was going to say once she answered her door.

  The drive seemed fast, or maybe it was just my nerves. At any rate, I paid the cabby and climbed out of the vehicle, staring at her house from the sidewalk.

  Her lights were off, and I felt concerned she wouldn’t even hear me knocking. Then I worried she wouldn’t answer because she knew it was going to be me standing on the other side of the door.

  I rang the bell, patiently waiting to see her beautiful face staring back at me.

  I could hear someone coming down the stairs and then saw a light flicker on. She peeked out the window and then opened the door abruptly, staring me right in the face with widened shocked eyes. “Chad. What are you doing here?”

  I stepped through the threshold, taking the front of her long pajama shirt in my hands so I could pull her against my body. “I can’t stay away any longer. I had to see you,” I stroked her hair. “To touch you. I don’t care about what I have to do, I’m not leaving until you agree to be with me.”

  “You’re crazy,” she said as I kissed her lips for the first time, holding mine there for extra long to savor the moment.

  “I’m crazy in love with you. I feel like I’m falling apart. Tell me I’m not alone, Rach.”

  Her arms wrapped around my back. “You’re not. I miss you too. I hate this.”

  “I think we should offer her the house. Veronica I mean. I think we should bribe her to move here, so I can still see Harper. She’s the only reason I’m in California. If I could get them here none of this would have to happen. We’d be together, forever.”

  I kissed the top of her head as she spoke softly, finally using her foot to close the front door. “Come to bed with me, Chad. I need you to hold me until morning, just to prove this isn’t a dream.”

  “I’d hold you every night if you’d let me.”

  I picked her up, feeling her head resting on my chest as I carried her up the stairs toward her bedroom, intent on giving her even more reason why I should never leave her side.

  Her kisses were powerful, taking me by surprise as we undressed and met back on the mattress. I unfastened her hair from being up, watching as her natural waves rested over her shoulders, covering each breast. With graceful hands I pushed both sides away, allowing myself to take in her naked chest again. I didn’t waste time, diving down to suckle on one of them. Her smooth nipple hardened against the flick of my tongue, her soft moans vibrating my lips as they caressed the area.

  Each inch I scoured her enticing body, the more it beckoned me to continue. I kept lowering myself, settling in between her long sexy legs. Her ripe pussy was mine for the taking, and I didn’t hesitate from placing chaste kisses over the outer skin. It was warm, fueling my salacious desire to prove she was mine.

  My tongue explored the area, getting a sample of her essence. Her pheromones awakened my cock, stiffening it instantly as I continued on, running my stubble over her clit, circling around while watching her body arch. Her hand dug into my hair while I focused on making her wet. I licked over her, lubricating the area I was about to feast on.

  A low grumble escaped my lips as I narrowed in on her stimulated bud. I sucked it in, tugging just enough to get a rise out of her. My hands massaged her thighs, while my tongue danced around her swollen clit. With each motion I could sense her reacting. It drove me mad, sending jolts of pleasure straight to the tips of my hard dick.

  Then she startle to buckle beneath me, succumbing to the sheer pleasure only I could give her.

  I kissed my way quickly back up to her awaiting lips, my cock teasing her pussy while our hands explored other areas.

  Never in my wildest dreams could I have imagined it would feel like this again. Having her, proving we were meant to be, it was all too much to handle. I had to take her, right then and there, as if we were out of time and I was desperate to finish.

  I thrust inside of her, Rachel gasping as it quickly overwhelmed her. We flipped over, her body straddling mine, my hands cupping each breast as she moved. I was high on her essence, fighting the urge to explode prematurely. I needed this release, but also remained determined to make it last.

  Rachel wasn’t having it. She started going faster, riding me harder than ever before. Her ass smacking against my legs as she worked a good pace.

  I could feel it happening, my body losing the a
bility to withstand the utter beauty of being inside of her again. Then I lost it, filling her and collapsing in a puddle of exhaustion beneath her seductive body.

  Sleep came easy, and for a while I was certain this was the turning point we both needed.

  The sound of my cell phone ringing woke me from a tranquil sleep, Rachel stirred next to me, but her eyes never opened.

  I climbed out of bed and covered her up before walking out into the hallway to answer the call.

  I already knew it was Veronica, and I half expected her to be yelling as soon as the line connected.

  “Hello?”

  Veronica was crying. “I need you to come to the hospital with me.”

  “What?” I assumed she had some kind of bug on my computer monitoring my internet sites and usage. “Are you seriously going to play sick to get me to stay home?”

  “I’m not playing, Chad. Something is wrong. I’m on my way to the hospital now. I’m in an ambulance. The babysitter is with Harper.”

  “Why? What’s wrong with you?” I still wasn’t buying her act.

  “I’m bleeding heavily. I think I’m having another miscarriage.” Around six months before she’d been late, only to get her period the next month. I thought it was normal, but now she was mentioning a miscarriage. “Again?”

  “The doctor said I had one early on. Remember, I told you about it afterwards. I didn’t even know about the pregnancy, and we weren’t exactly getting along.”

  I scratched my head while thinking about what to say to her. “I’m not going to be able to make it there for at least six hours.” I was already back in the bedroom, scrounging for my articles of clothing. “Are you in any pain? The doctors told you it’s normal for women to bleed during pregnancy. Remember?”

  “Chad, it’s too much. It was gushing. I got lightheaded. I can’t stop shaking. I’m so scared, and Harper was there when it happened. Where are you? Why can’t you come? I need you. Please. Stop what you’re doing and come quickly.”

  “I’m going to hurry. I’m on my way. Hang in there. I’ll catch the first flight home.”

  “Flight home?” She cried harder. “Are you with her while I could be losing our child?”

  I felt like shit. “I’ll be there as soon as I can. Everything will be okay, I promise.”

  When I hung up the phone I was shaking. Rachel was sitting up in the bed, naked and waiting for answers. I slipped on my first shoe while sitting on the edge of the mattress. “It’s Veronica. She’s being taken to the hospital in an ambulance. I don’t know the details, except that she’s bleeding bad.”

  “Is there anything I can do?” She asked without hesitation.

  “I need you to drive me to the airport, while I search for the first flight out of here.”

  Rachel hopped off the bed and started dressing, running into the bathroom to brush her teeth and tie up her hair. When I walked into the room she handed me the same toothbrush I’d left during my last visit. I smiled for a second thinking how she’d left it instead of tossing it in the trash.

  We were out of the house within five minutes, never speaking a single word to each other.

  Rachel drove fast, passing by every car we came up to. She was closer to the airport, which made for an easy drive there. I’d already booked my flight when she pulled up to the departure lane.

  I peered over her, realizing I didn’t have time to say what was on my mind. “I’ll call you when I know something.”

  “I know.”

  “We’ll figure this out. I’m coming home to you, Rach.”

  “I know,” she repeated.

  I faked a smile while leaning over to kiss her perfect lips, before stepping out and going before my body wouldn’t let me.

  Chapter 34

  I rushed through the terminal of the airport, my mind fixated on Harper and how devastating it must have been for her to witness her mother in distress.

  My heart ache while I waited to board the plane, helpless in my current situation.

  The agonizing next six hours were frustrating. I paid for Wi-Fi, only to discover it wasn’t working on the plane, so I didn’t have the means to check on Veronica.

  By mid-afternoon the flight pulled into the arrival airport. I rushed through the large facility, making it to my vehicle within ten minutes after stepping away from the tarmac.

  Once inside of my car, I starting calling my wife, my neighbors, and the babysitters phones, just trying to get someone to provide me with news.

  With no results, I hurried through afternoon traffic to make it to the hospital where I knew my wife had been taken earlier in the morning. With the three hours difference in time zones, I suspected her episode had awaken her from her sleep, which meant Harper had also been woken up to the screams of her mother.

  The moments that it took to ride the elevator and locate her room number seemed to drag. I half expected the elevator to shut down since my luck had been shit lately. It never dawned on me that I was standing at the nurses station until one of them asked what I needed.

  I took a deep breath and explained. “My wife was brought in earlier today. She suspected she was having a miscarriage. Can you tell me how she’s doing? How is the baby? Were you able to stop the bleeding?” I prepared to tell her the name and watched a roguish grimace cover her face.

  “Let me page the doctor for you, sir.”

  I looked around the ward, noticing it wasn’t a labor and delivery unit. Since I wasn’t familiar with the hospital I didn’t think much of it while I waited patiently for answers.

  To be honest, I was exhausted. I’d taken two flights in less than twenty-four hours and the stress of everything I’d endured was finally hitting me, dragging me down to feel sleep deprived and frustrated.

  While I waited for the doctor, I decided I needed to get in the room with Veronica, so she knew I’d done everything in my power to get to her. I found her resting once I entered. She was sleeping, probably from being up half the night like me. She looked weak, and I couldn’t remember the last time I’d paid close attention to her features. Unlike when we first began to date, Veronica had aged. Her face had wrinkles in the corners and her eyes carried dark circles under them. Without her makeup Veronica seemed more human than normal. It seemed rude of me to say it, but she’d always had a sort of plastic appearance.

  I took the seat beside the hospital bed, figuring the doctor would be a while before seeking me out to explain the diagnosis.

  For a few minutes I closed my eyes and tried to rest while she slept. It was important to have energy to be able to remain supportive, no matter what the news.

  I heard the sound of someone entering the room and opened my eyes. A older gentleman greeted me. “Hello, I’m Dr. Sinah.”

  “Hi, doc. I’m sorry it took me so long to arrive. I was on the east coast when I got the call.”

  “Your wife is resting comfortably. We gave her something to help settle her down.”

  I feared a miscarriage. “She lost the baby, didn’t she?”

  “Mr. Farrow, I’m afraid your wife’s condition is far more difficult than the loss of a pregnancy. Would you care to step outside in order to allow her some much needed rest?”

  I followed the doctor outside and watched as he closed the door behind us. I leaned against the wall while listening.

  “I’m not familiar with your wife’s family history, and she wasn’t very clear about it either. I’m sorry to have to inform you that we’ve discovered a very serious condition. While being treated for a pregnancy, we discovered some abnormalities with her blood work. After doing a through exam, it was found that she was never with child. This is very common when dealing with choriocarcinoma.”

  “I’m sorry. Did you say carcinoma?”

  “Choriocarcinoma,” he corrected.

  I knew from years of living with my grandfather while he was ill and seeing the oncologist that was a form of cancer. “Wait a minute. She came in because she was bleeding. We must be talking ab
out the wrong patient. My wife is healthy. She’s in her early thirties. There’s nothing wrong with her.”

  “Sir, I understand how it would appear that way, but I can assure you we’ve done the necessary preliminary tests. We’re not yet sure of the extent, or if the cancer had spread, but once the oncologist sees her we’ll know more about how to treat it.”

  I kept shaking my head. This was unbelievable. “What about the pregnancy? Are you saying she was never pregnant?”

  “It’s a common side effect of the choriocarcinoma. It produces a false positive result because the body naturally produces and extra amount of the human growth hormone.”

  “When will she see the oncologist? I want a second opinion. My family doctor operates out of Hopkins. I’ll make some calls and see if he’s available to look at her test results.”

  “Sir, you’re welcome to a second opinion. As a doctor I encourage it. I realize this is a lot to take in. Until we know more I won’t be able to make a decision regarding treatment or alternative procedures.”

  I nodded and shook his hand. “Thank you for taking the time to see me.”

  “Before I leave you, I want you to know choriocarcinoma is a curable form of cancer. As long as we’ve caught it early enough we’ll be able to treat it with chemotherapy.”

  I was too shocked to come up with anything else to ask him. I knew as soon as he was gone I’d have a ton, but I was struggling to keep it together while he was in my presence.

  I could feel my phone vibrating in my pocket, but refused to pull it out to answer. This was unbelievable. I never would have seen this coming, and now I didn’t know what I was supposed to do.

  After the talk, I made my way back into the hospital room to wait until she woke up and could talk to me. I knew she’d be upset, and all of a sudden nothing else mattered except making sure she was comfortable. I’d been through this with my mother, then my grandfather, and now my wife. Cancer was the devil, and no matter how hard I tried to stay away from the disease, it kept showing it’s ugly face.