Won't Miss You: A Brother's Best Friend Romance (We Shouldn't Book 4)

by Lilian Monroe

  “I was worried you wouldn’t approve,” I say.

  “Of what? You and Benji?”

  I nod.

  Sawyer shrugs. “Better than the guys our parents used to push on you back home. I’d rather see you happy.”

  My eyes mist as a lump forms in my throat. “All these years, I thought you hated me.”

  Sawyer gives me a sad smile. “I did, I think. But I was an idiot. I forgot who you are.”

  In that moment, on a sunny Sunday morning in the town I’ll soon call my permanent home, I don’t think it’s possible to be happier. The one thing I’ve wanted—a repaired relationship with Sawyer—has happened. Not only that, but he sees me and loves me and wants what’s best for me. He’s not afraid to push Benji and me together. He’s not awkward around us, or worried about what a relationship might mean.

  As the waitress arrives with our plates of food, I steal a glance at Benji, and then at my brother. Sawyer is so unbothered that it makes me realize I misjudged him, just as he misjudged me.

  He’d never care about me dating Benji, so long as we treated each other right. Sawyer is a purist. He cares about people being good to each other. He cares about integrity.

  Benji stares at me from across the table, slightly mystified, but a smile tugs at his lips and he gives me a small nod.

  For the first time since I got here, I let myself hope that everything might work out. At the back of my mind, though, I remind myself I’ll have to go back down to Houston and face my parents. I’ll have to quit the job they gave me, hoping they’ll still love me and want to have me in their lives.

  My family is starting to repair itself and I’ve found a man I think is special, but my parents are a whole other issue I haven’t even begun to tackle.

  21

  Benji

  I almost can’t believe my life right now. Rae and I spend all day together, alternating between eating and getting tangled in each other’s arms.

  As dusk settles over the town, Rae lays her head on my lap as we watch television. I trail my fingers up and down her arm, feeling calmer and more at peace than I have in a long time.

  Rae shifts to lie on her back, staring up at me. I rest my arm across her chest, smiling.

  “What?” I ask.

  “I was just wondering about your family. I think I saw your father at Sarah’s house yesterday. Do both your parents live in Woodvale?”

  I grimace, my chest squeezing. Shaking my head, I let out a sigh. “My mom left when I was seventeen. She was an addict. My dad didn’t realize—or pretended not to know. He’d already moved on from her.”

  Rae’s eyes widen as she sucks her lip between her teeth. “Oh. I didn’t know. I’m sorry.”

  I smile, letting my fingers drift over her cheek. “It’s fine. I was angry for a long time. I blamed my father for leaving us. For choosing his career and his new family. When my mom left, Sarah and I were on our own.”

  “Where’s your mom now?”

  I snort. “Probably dead in a ditch somewhere.”

  Rae winces, and I regret my words.

  I sigh. “I don’t know. She wasn’t much of a mother. And he wasn’t much of a father, either.”

  “Makes my parents sound like saints.”

  I smile sadly, running my fingers over and back across her scalp. Shaking my head, I let out a sigh. “Sawyer told me about your parents. They weren’t there for you, either, even if they were there physically. They basically abandoned Lucy, Roman, and Sawyer, and left you to pick up the pieces.”

  “Yeah, but they still provided for us when we were younger. It would be much harder to be on your own when you’re just a kid. Didn’t social services come around?”

  “We fell through the cracks, I guess,” I say. The sadness in Rae’s eyes makes my chest constrict. I try to smile again, shaking my head. “It wasn’t that bad. Sarah and I had each other. Just like Lucy had you.”

  Rae closes her eyes and leans into my touch, and I wonder if that’s why we get along so well. Sure, we come from opposite sides of the tracks—but our experiences have been remarkably similar. We’ve been forgotten by the people who were supposed to take care of us. Forced to take on more responsibility at a young age. Made to sacrifice for the ones we loved.

  It wears you down.

  Rae lets out a sigh, her eyes still closed. “I often wish my parents would reconcile with Lucy and Sawyer. I wish they’d see how hurtful it was when they pushed Sawyer away and disowned Lucy.” She opens her eyes. “You’ve reconciled with your dad now?”

  I gulp, my throat tightening. “I don’t know if we’ve reconciled, but we’re speaking again.”

  Rae nods, a wistful look on her face. My heart aches, and I don’t want to talk about broken families anymore. I scoop her up and bring my lips to hers, if only to remind myself that she’s real, and she’s here.

  Yes, we both come from broken families. We might be working on bringing them together—but what about what’s right in front of us? What about stoking this flame and seeing how high it can get?

  Rae hears my thoughts and wraps her arms around my neck. I carry her to the bedroom and make love to her more softly than we did before. I kiss her skin. Inhale her scent. Worship her presence.

  I try my best to let her feel the strength of my emotion and to show her I see her. The real her. She doesn’t need to be on her own as she tries to stitch her family back together.

  We come apart in each other’s arms, and then bring each other back together again.

  The next day, I’m scheduled to take the skydiving plane up. Rae juts her bottom lip out in a pout when I tell her.

  “I was hoping to see you in the office again.” Her eyes flash, and I groan.

  “You’re going to get me in trouble.”

  “I’m the boss, remember?”

  I kiss her as my heart thumps and my cock throbs. With one look, she brings me to my knees.

  How did I ever think I’d be able to resist her? Why did I even try?

  I tear myself away from her embrace so I can go to work.

  On my way to the airfield, I drum my fingers on the steering while and let a smile drift over my lips. I’m happy—really, truly happy—for the first time in a long time. The day drags on, because I keep thinking about coming home to Rae.

  After a few flights and half a dozen people jumping out of my plane, I finish cleaning the aircraft and I start making my way home.

  To Rae.

  As I drive down Main Street, though, I think about our conversation last night. Something tugs at my chest, and I find myself turning in the opposite direction. I’m heading west, to the wealthy side of town.

  To my father’s house.

  When I pull up outside his huge home, my palms are sweaty. My heart thumps uncomfortably, and I’m not even sure what I’m doing.

  All I know is Rae’s voice is in my head, reminding me that relationships take work. That includes my relationship with my father.

  Sarah invited him over to family dinner, because she wants him in her life. In her kids’ lives. Who am I to stand in the way of that?

  Maybe I should take a page out of Rae’s book and forgive. Try. Bridge the gap and meet my father where he is.

  Wiping my hands on my pants, I exit my truck and make my way up the tidy pathway to the big double doors. A brass knocker hangs in the center of the door.

  Knock. Knock. Knock.

  The sound echoes in my chest cavity, cranking my nerves tighter. I almost turn around. What am I even doing here?

  But before I can run away, the door opens.

  A girl, probably ten or twelve years old, opens. “Hello?”

  I clear my throat. “Hi. Uh…Is your dad here?”

  A woman’s voice calls out behind her, and the door opens wider. A woman, about ten years younger than my father, appears behind the little girl. She’s got short, chin-length hair that’s been dyed honey-brown. A half-inch of gray pokes out near the roots.

  When she sees me
, her eyes widen.

  My heart thumps.

  I’ve always refused to meet Gail, no matter how many times my father tried to introduce us. Why would I need a stepmother? Why would I want to meet anyone in his life?

  But her face breaks into a smile, and she calls out my father’s name. “Come in, Benji. Come in.” She puts her hand on the girl’s shoulder to pull her aside, flashing a brilliant smile at me. “It’s nice of you to finally come by.”

  Her eyes are kind. Her smile is genuine.

  When my father appears at the end of the hall, I suck in a breath. He walks up to me and shakes my hand before putting one arm around Gail and a hand on his daughter’s shoulder.

  Suddenly, I feel like an asshole, because I don’t even know my half-sister’s name. Emotion slams into my gut, and I realize I was wrong.

  Wrong to push him away. Wrong to not forgive him. Wrong to not accept his money, because it was the only thing he knew how to give. I judged him, just as I judged Rae. I let my own ego and my own anger cloud my judgment.

  Taking a deep breath, I gather my courage. “I just wanted to come by…” I clear my throat, looking between him and his wife. “I was wondering if you’d like to come to Sarah’s birthday party. It’s a surprise party for her thirtieth. Been planning it for a while, and I think she’d like to have you there.”

  My throat tightens as my father’s eyes widen, but then his face morphs into a smile. He wraps his arms around me and holds me tight, squeezing until I can hardly breathe.

  I haven’t let him hug me since I was a kid. It feels good.

  When we pull apart, his eyes are misty. “We’d love to.” He shakes his head, sighing. “I never thought I’d see you walk through that door. What made you change your mind?”

  I let out a dry chuckle, lifting a hand to rub the back of my neck. Finally, I meet my father’s eye.

  “I met a girl,” I admit. “It’s making me think about things differently.”

  22

  Rae

  Sawyer stands up, his chair clattering behind him.

  “No.” He lifts a hand. “Absolutely not.”

  “Why not?” I ask, my heart squeezing. “It’s been years, Sawyer. They’re not that bad.”

  “Not that bad?” he scoffs, shaking his head. “Our parents threw Lucy out when she was pregnant with Roman. They gave me the choice to either step into Dad’s shoes or leave the family. They didn’t once try to reach out to me after I left. They are that bad, Rae. You need to get rid of your fantasies about having a happy, Brady-Bunch family, because it’s never going to happen. Our parents care only about themselves and money. Nothing else. Not you, not me, and definitely not Lucy and Roman. I don’t want anything to do with them.”

  “I just thought if we invited them up here…”

  “Do they know you’re here?” His eyes flash.

  I suck in a breath, shaking my head. “I told them I was away on vacation. I took two months off work. I didn’t say where.”

  “Good, because I like it here and I don’t exactly want to move.”

  My heart constricts. Last night, Benji told me he invited his father, stepmother, and half-sister to Sarah’s surprise birthday party.

  I’m not embarrassed to admit that I was jealous. Happy for him, of course—but still envious. That kind of reconciliation is exactly what I want for my family.

  Maybe we won’t become the Brady Bunch—I’m not delusional—but we could at least talk to each other. Have some contact. Come to a middle ground.

  I’m much happier in Woodvale than I was in Houston. I’d rather run a garage and a freelance landscape architecture business than be on an oil and gas corporation’s payroll.

  Those things are true.

  But what if we could still have a relationship with our mother and father? What if our parents could see us together, meet Roman, and understand? Didn’t Sawyer forgive me in an instant?

  But my brother’s face turns to stone. He picks up the chair from the ground and shoves it back toward the table, turning to lean against the kitchen counter. He stares out at the backyard, where Lucy and Roman are playing. Turning his head over his shoulder, he glances at me.

  “Don’t be naive, Rae.”

  I let out a sigh. “You forgave me, Sawyer. You understood why I had to stay behind. What if Mom and Dad would understand, too? They’re older now. They’re retiring in a few months. They might have changed.”

  “Why are you so obsessed with bringing the family back together?”

  His words sting. They pierce my chest and slice my heart, and it’s all I can do to bite back my tears. Doesn’t he appreciate that I’m here? That I tried for so many years to reconnect with him? That we forgave each other?

  But Sawyer’s anger is still fresh, and I swallow my words.

  Maybe he’s right.

  I shouldn’t push my luck. Moving here is one thing. Sawyer’s forgiveness was always within reach.

  But my parents?

  They’re cut from a different cloth. I don’t even know how they’ll react when I go back down to Houston in three weeks and tell them I quit. What if they disown me, too?

  But what if they don’t? What if they understand? Wouldn’t that be worth the effort?

  As Lucy and Roman come back inside, and Sawyer’s shoulders relax, we leave that difficult conversation behind. Sawyer paints a smile on his face and picks Roman up, throwing him up in the air as the toddler giggles so hard he slobbers all over himself.

  Instead of making me happy, the sight makes my heart feel like it’s caving in.

  I can’t do this without at least trying to bring my parents up here.

  I’ll have to go back to Houston and ask them in person. They’ll understand. Despite what Sawyer thinks, they’ll want to meet their grandson. They’ll want to see Lucy and Sawyer again.

  Naive? Probably.

  But I still have hope.

  A couple of days later, I’m almost through sorting out the garage’s paperwork. It’s been a mammoth job, but it’s looking like I’ll be able to start taking a wage from the business. Benji knocks on the office door, poking his head in.

  I smile. “Hey, you.”

  He slips inside, closing the door behind him. His lips tug into a smile and he walks around the desk to put his hands on my shoulders. I groan as he starts to rub, leaning my head back against his stomach.

  “I was thinking about Sarah’s birthday party next week. It’s coming up quick—just ten days away.”

  “Yeah?”

  “Well, everyone will be there.”

  “Uh-huh,” I say, my eyes closed. His hands rub my shoulders, my neck, and all the way down my back. I groan. His touch feels incredible.

  Benji takes a deep breath, pausing the movement of his hands. “Maybe we should take the opportunity to tell everyone about us.”

  I open my eyes. “What do you mean?”

  “I don’t want to hide our relationship, Rae. Sawyer already knows, and he’s okay with it. I don’t want to go there and sneak around, kissing you behind closed doors. I want to hold your hand. Tell all my friends and family that you’re my girl.”

  My heart thumps and a smile stretches over my lips. I turn to look at Benji, tears shining in my eyes. “You do?”

  “Don’t you?”

  I laugh, wiping my eyes as I nod. “Of course. I don’t remember the last time I had a boyfriend. Is that… are you…?”

  Benji’s hand moves to stroke my cheek. “This is serious, Rae. You and me. I want to be with you.”

  I think my heart explodes. At least that’s what it feels like. My chest feels tight and my whole body feels hot, but I jump up and throw my arms around Benji.

  He hugs me back, sighing as his face nuzzles into my neck. We hold each other and I melt into him, feeling completely at peace and totally at home in his arms.

  No, I haven’t had a boyfriend in a long time. It’s not what I expected when I moved up here. It’s never been a priority for me.


  But now that I’ve met Benji, everything seems different. Better.

  He pulls away, cupping my cheek with his large palm. His eyes glimmer as a smile tugs at his lips.

  “You make me happy, Rae. I would have never gone to my father’s house if I hadn’t met you. You’ve taught me so much about family, forgiveness, and relationships.”

  “We’ve only known each other a little over a month.” I grin, even though my heart is thrumming happily in my chest.

  “Feels like I’ve known you my entire life. I’ve just been waiting for you to show up.”

  When Benji kisses me, happiness floods through my soul. I feel so euphoric, it’s hard to contain. I wrap my arms around him and hold him close.

  Coming to Woodvale was supposed to bring my family back together again. I never expected to meet someone who completes me the way Benji does. Someone who understands me. Celebrates me. Appreciates me.

  Even when he was supposed to dislike me, Benji was the one who told Sawyer to come back. He was instrumental in bringing my siblings and me back together again, and he did it despite his promise to be loyal to Sawyer.

  Benji understands me, through and through. He’s the only person who knows what family means to me and respects it. He shares the same values as I do, and it connects us on a level so deep, I didn’t even know it was possible.

  As he kisses me, my heart feels full.

  All my fears about family, parents, the future…they all melt away. For a few, blissful moments, I’m just a woman in Benji’s arms.

  Soon, at Sarah’s party, we’ll tell the whole town that we’re one. That we belong together. Made for each other.

  Then, hopefully, I’ll be able to bring my parents up here and introduce him to them. They’ll meet their grandson and reconnect with Sawyer and Lucy.

  We may be a dysfunctional Brady Bunch, but it’s worth a try…

  …right?