The Retreat

by Heather Mar-Gerrison

  Chapter 7 – Perfection…

  Nathan

  Oh, my God. Dylan was utterly gorgeous. He was wearing shorts and flip-flops today. His legs had to be shaved. They were so damned perfectly bronzed and shiny. And his feet… Christ, I’d never been turned on by feet in my life but his feet were totally doing it for me. His nails were perfectly manicured and were painted a delicate shade of iridescent pink that shone blue as he moved. His flip-flops were expensive. The way his feet moved was doing things to my groin area that was going to get embarrassing if I didn’t get myself behind my work bench soon…

  He shot me a beaming smile as he spotted me and made a beeline for me, carefully manoeuvring around my tools and materials to get to where I was stood.

  “Hi, Nathan.” He said, “How are you this morning.”

  I grinned, “I’m fine.” I said, “And you look stunning.”

  He blinked several times, his face turning a charming shade of pink at my compliment, “Th-thanks.” He stammered, “I, uh, I’m meeting a client later.”

  I nodded, “Well, you look good enough to go on a date.”

  His smile turned cheeky, “Oh yeah?” he asked, “Are you offering?”

  I grinned, “Well, why not?” I asked, “You’re single. I’m single…”

  He blinked again, “I’m gay.” He said. “You’re not.”

  I shrugged, “But I’m open-minded.” I retorted, “So how about it? Coming with me?”

  He nodded, his face breaking out into a delighted smile, “Sure.” He said, “Why not?”

  Dylan

  Why not? I asked myself for the millionth time that day. I’ll tell you why not – because he’s straight and you’re not and even if he’s the most open-minded, friend to the gay guys there is. It’s not going to work. He’s never going to be yours and you’re going to end up heartbroken! My inner conscience was screaming at me again, which was never a good sign.

  I ignored it steadfastly and retouched up my makeup. If Nathan wanted to take me out on a date, who the hell was I to argue?

  If nothing else, it stopped me thinking about Lennox and his offer to take me to Boardmasters. George Ezra really was my favourite artist and I was well pissed off that I was going to miss him. But still, at least I wasn’t cheating on his wife with him. I felt rather proud of myself for resisting and dating someone else went a long way towards keeping me on the straight and narrow.

  My phone buzzed. I checked the message and smiled. Nathan was right outside and I was confident that we were going to have a wonderful time. For starters; he’d started driving me home whenever we were at the Retreat at the same time and we’d already been on some dates already – not that either of us had considered them dates, well, not really… He was always a perfect gentleman and really easy to get along with. This was just taking it one step closer to heaven…

  Blowing myself a kiss in my mirror and wishing myself luck, I practically flew to the front door and skipped down the steps to where he was waiting for me.

  “Hi.” I breathed.

  He smiled back at me, his dark hair and tanned skin looking incredible against his pristine white shirt, “Hi yourself.” He said, “You look lovely.”

  I preened a little. I had put in some effort to look good for him and I was very appreciative that he’d noticed. Most straight men noticed nothing.

  “Where are we going?” I asked.

  He smiled again, “You’ll see.” He said mysteriously. I settled back in my seat and looked out of the window. I was beginning to really enjoy going out with Nathan. This was kind of our second ‘date’ and I was very excited that he’d asked me out again. I didn’t want to even try to start to analyse what it meant. I was just going to try to stay in the moment and see where it took us.

  Nathan

  I was confused about my feelings.

  I really liked Dylan. Like, really liked him but I wasn’t sure if I was ready to call him my boyfriend. It seemed so alien to me. Having a boyfriend was something Bailey did. I did not. Not because I thought it was wrong… But my parents had always been a little suspicious of my friendship with Bailey and had never really liked him. I took that as them being homophobic and had steered well clear of ever admitting to fancying guys… And I never had to because I’d always had Sophie… I’d been hiding behind my relationship with Sophie since I was fifteen. Oh, God…

  Admit it. You want to kiss him. The little voice in the back of my mind piped up. You think he’s pretty and his feet turn you on and the only thing that’s stopping you from kissing him is that he’s a boy. Man-up for fuck’s sake. If you’re not straight, you’re not straight. You can’t live your life for other people. You have to be happy in your own skin and if that skin is gay, so fucking what? Wake up and smell the coffee!

  Checking my appearance in the mirror I sighed and ruffled my hair up a little. Fuck me. I looked so old and boring…

  I headed out to where Dylan lived. He was right. I had built these apartments and I was pleased to see that he had one of the better ones – one with rooms over two floors.

  He came skipping down the path to where I was waiting and my heart took off at a galloping pace. Holy shit. He looked good enough to eat…

  *

  “I’m not joking,” he said, looking really indignant as he sipped on his third cocktail, “even those stupid things the girls did at school where they worked out your name and their name and did the sums – I never got more than thirty per cent.”

  I frowned. What the hell was he talking about? “What thing?”

  He rolled his eyes at my total maleness, “I’ll show you, come on.” He picked up my napkin and pulled out a pen, “Just for argument’s sake,” he went a little pink, “let’s take your name and mine.”

  I raised an eyebrow, “Okay.” I said with a smile, “Nathan Matthews.”

  He nodded and wrote my name on a piece of paper and then his own underneath. In between he wrote “LOVES”, rolling his eyes as he did so, as if it was the most ludicrous idea ever.

  “And then you count up the number of L’s, the number of O’s and so on until you get a number. Then you add each number together until you get it down to two numbers remaining – and that’s the percentage you love each other.”

  I snorted, “That’s the most pathetic thing…” I started but he looked back at me with such a look of indignation that I stopped myself, “Go on then.” I said with a sigh, “Amaze me.”

  Nathan Matthews

  LOVES

  Dylan Lovall

  4 1 1 1 1

  5 2 2 2

  7 4 4

  118

  28%

  “See,” he said miserably before taking another slug of his drink, “Not that I expected you to – but seriously, no one ever loves me.”

  I looked at him in amusement until I realised that he was deadly serious. “Dylan, man – it’s a kid’s game. You do know it’s not real, right? It’s not supposed to be taken seriously…”

  He sniffed and nodded, “I know.” He said, “But it’s never once worked out for me. Out of all of my relationships – if you can even call serial dates relationships – are disasters. All of them.”

  “I’m sure that’s not true.” I said, trying to make him feel better.

  “It is true.” He said earnestly, “I’m great at other people’s relationships but my own are absolutely cataclysmic.”

  I frowned, “But why?” I asked, “You’re adorable.”

  He blinked and I felt my face heating up as it occurred to me that I’d just told him that I found him adorable. “You really think so?” he asked in a small voice.

  I nodded, “I really think so.” I said truthfully. What I thought I was going to do with that truth was yet to be seen but I couldn’t hide my feelings from myself any longer. I liked Dylan. Hell, I fancied the pants off Dylan. I wanted Dylan. I just had no idea how to go about communicating that to Dylan…

  As it turned out, I didn’t have to worry about communic
ating anything to Dylan. He was doing a whole lot of talking about his lack-lustre love-life and I was a willing listener. I guess it made me feel better about my own non-existent love-life.

  Chapter 8 – All the wrong ones…

  Dylan

  “Every man I’ve ever met has been the wrong man,” I lamented, “Every date I’ve ever been on has gone wrong.”

  I grant you that Nathan was nice to me but it was true about every guy I felt I could get romantically involved with and as much as I wanted him to be, I really didn’t think Nathan was a contender. I was utterly useless at snagging myself a decent guy.

  “I thought I’d found a really nice guy a few weeks ago, not long after I found out about Lennox and Amy getting married – but he was already living with a guy and was just using me to make his boyfriend jealous. Stupid idiot. It was obvious he was in love with the guy…”

  “So, what happened?” Nathan asked, clearly intrigued.

  I shrugged, “Nothing. I didn’t even get a snog out of it. We just talked. Well, I listened – he talked – all night about his boyfriend and how much he loved him and how much he didn’t want to screw things up between them.”

  He frowned at me, “So, were they on a break or something?”

  I shook my head, “They were just having a few trust issues with each other – it was quite a new relationship for them both and they’d both been hurt before… anyway I’m hopeful that they’re back together now. I had a word with the boyfriend the other day when I went shopping – put him straight about a few things.”

  I could have been relaying the story of my own life. I was constantly being let down by awful boyfriends but I totally believed in love and was certain that one day I would find my very own prince charming. He had to be out there somewhere. He was just currently hiding from me…

  Nathan smiled, transforming his rather scowly face into something utterly compelling. Wowsers, he was handsome. “I’m sure your knight in shining armour will show himself sooner or later.” He said.

  I shrugged. Chance would be a fine thing… “Yeah, one day, maybe…” I said.

  Nathan

  Something inside my chest tightened when he started to talk about a guy he’d met at a party and was moaning about not even getting a kiss out of it.

  I glanced at his mouth – as I did quite often. He had full lips that were, as usual, ever-so-slightly glossy. He looked like he was wearing some sort of lip balm. Well, of course he was. He was perfect in every way – he’d want the softest lips for his man to kiss…

  I licked my own lips as I looked at them again. God. It had clearly been too long since I’d kissed someone because all I wanted to do was to lean in and brush my lips against his and that was freaking me out a bit. I may be able to acknowledge that I found men attractive these days – and I’d just started to acknowledge to myself that I really did find Dylan extraordinarily attractive but I was still mostly in denial about the whole thing and I’d never dreamt of actually kissing him... Well, actually that was a lie too. I had dreamt about it on a number of occasions since we’d met – and had woken up appalled with myself for sporting the evidence of what that idea did to me on more than one occasion too. He was too damned beautiful. I had no idea what I was doing. Fuck it all to hell, I was in serious trouble… Should I kiss him goodnight at the end of the night, tonight? Should I just drop him off with a casual “laters.” I really had no idea. I didn’t really do casual and that would sound so horribly forced. Shit…

  He was looking at me, “So, what’s happening in your life?” he asked, resting his chin on his hands and gazing up at me with his beautiful blue-green eyes that were absolutely mesmerising me as usual.

  I shrugged, “I got my decree nisi through today.”

  He frowned, “Decree what? What’s that?”

  I sighed. I was a failure. I’d failed at one of the most fundamental parts of being human… Love. “It’s the notice of the official date of the marriage being over.”

  He nodded, “Oh, right. When?”

  I sighed, “August 6th.” We hadn’t even made a year…

  He nodded, “Right. Well, we can’t have you getting all depressed about it – shit happens, right?” He said.

  I shrugged, “I guess.” I mumbled.

  He grinned at me, mesmerising me all over again, “Well, I’m taking you clubbing that night, then.”

  I grinned back at him. He had a way of always making me feel better about myself, “Thanks, mate.” I said. Mate seemed wrong. I wanted to call him babe, because he really was a babe. I was falling for him. I just had no idea how to cross the line from being ‘mates’ to being something where I could legitimately call him ‘babe’. God I was useless.

  “Where are you gonna take me, then?”

  His grin widened, making me feel slightly lightheaded with the power of his megawatt smile, “Studs and Steel of course.” He said.

  Of course… I nodded, “Cool.” I said, “I like it there.” It was a hotbed of hormones and really sexy. And the podium dancers were absolutely gorgeous to look at too. Seriously. I’d been gay all along – how had I ignored it so steadfastly for so damned long?

  He raised an eyebrow, “Really?” he drawled, “And when did you last go there?”

  I grinned at him smugly. It wasn’t just beautiful gay guys that could go to all the cool places. Some of us had gay best friends… “Bailey’s my best friend, remember?” I’d been to a lot of gay bars and nightclubs with Bailey over the years and Studs and Steel was, in my opinion, the best of all of them. It had the best vibe – really good music, great dancers and fabulous décor. I loved it.

  He nodded, “Oh, yeah.” He murmured. He looked at me, “So…” he sighed and trailed off, “No. Never mind.”

  I was sure he was about to ask me if I was entirely straight and I really didn’t know what to tell him. I had no idea how to answer him. I was enjoying myself immensely in his company and I couldn’t deny that I found him really attractive. I was pretty sure I’d be okay kissing him too. It was everything else that I wasn’t so sure about. Would I really want to touch him intimately? The idea of it made my dick twitch but honestly – the idea of us getting naked together was bloody terrifying.

  I cast around for something else to talk about to stop myself from imagining his naked body wrapped around mine.

  “What’s the bravest thing you’ve ever done?” I asked. Well, it was something to talk about…

  He shrugged, “I dunno,” He said, “A year ago I’d have said coming out to my parents but even that wasn’t so much traumatic as a slightly anticlimactic.”

  I raised my eyebrows questioningly, “Oh, right?”

  Dylan shrugged, “Dad was in denial, there’s no question about it – but Mum had it all figured out. How couldn’t she?” he added, “look at me.”

  I smiled, “I’m looking at you,” I said, “And I’ve gotta say – you’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen in my life.”

  He blushed, “Thanks.” He said running his hand through his hair, clearly trying to ignore the fact that I’d just called him beautiful – again. “But the bravest thing I ever did was deliver a baby.”

  My jaw just about hit the table, “You actually delivered a real baby?”

  He nodded, “Yes.” He said, “I delivered Anthea, Phoebe’s little one. You know Phoebe – the one who works with Zoe and I part time now? She went into labour at work. The baby was coming really fast and she needed help. The ambulance was taking forever,” he rolled his eyes, “Zoe went into a total meltdown, so I called Mum on Facetime and she talked me through it. Mum’s a midwife.” He added, since otherwise it would have been a bit weird.

  Oh, my God. He was absolutely incredible. Calmness itself in the face of a crisis. “And you’re a hero.” I said faintly. I mean, seriously? That had to be so far out of his comfort zone. He’d never dated a girl in his life. He’d told me quite categorically, not all that long ago, that he had absolutely zero interest in vagi
nas – getting up close and personal with one about to deliver a new baby had to have totally grossed him out. It would have totally grossed me out.

  Wow. He was really something.

  He shrugged, “Anyone else would have done the same.”

  I shook my head, “No,” I said firmly. “they wouldn’t. I couldn’t do that – and I’ll bet a lot of folks would go straight into panic mode. What do you think Rick would do?”

  He chuckled. Rick was one of his best friends – and was also married to his business partner, Zoe. “He’d pass out at the first hint of trouble.” He admitted ruefully.

  I laughed. I’d never met Rick but Dylan talked about him a lot and he sounded like a really nice guy. Even nicer that he was totally and utterly in love with is beautiful wife and therefore no threat to me whatsoever.

  The only threat to me right now was my own inability to convey my feelings. He’d meet someone else and that would be the end of our wonderful friendship – because between you and I, the idea of him being in someone else’s arms was making me feel nauseous. I wouldn’t be able to handle him being with someone else now. I was going to have to tell him the truth – that I’d fallen for him…

  Chapter 9 – Never fall for the straight guy…

  Dylan

  Oh, wow. His mouth around my cock felt warm and wet. I threw my head back and let out a long sigh that ended in a bit of groan. He was so good at this.

  I looked down and my eyes met with his beautiful brown ones as he looked up at me, still lapping at my shaft and swirling his tongue around the head. I reached for him, holding his head in place as I gasped, feeling myself coming. “Oh, God.” I groaned, “You’re so good, Nathan.”