Beginning to Breathe, Again (Feral Steel MC Book 2)

by Vera Quinn

  “I pay my own way. No man supports me. I will not be like that.” I try to make Rome understand. I have fought for this one thing for so long. I will not let it go. Not this and not my education.

  “I understand and when you get back on your feet then you make your own money and continue your classes but the rest you trust me and the Feral Steel to take care of. Can you handle that, Tara?” I don’t know if I should agree or not.

  “I need to contact school and Bud about work.” Rome swallows and then looks away.

  “The diner was damaged by an explosion last night. It’ll be a while before Bud can reopen so you have time to recover.” I can’t live without my job. “The gym had a fire, also.” Rome is leaving something out. This is too much to be a coincidence.

  “Did Liam do it all?” Rome looks away.

  “We’re not sure yet but we think he may have something to do with it. Therefore, you need my protection. Tara, trust me to take care of you.” I don’t know if I can and I won’t lie.

  “I can only say I will try. I’ve never had someone to take care of me before.” Then a thought came to me. “What do you want in return and why are you doing this?” Rome almost laughs but it comes out more like snort.

  “Right now, all I want is you safe. I know you do not want me to support you. I’ve only been around you for a short time but I can tell you are sincere about this and it is important to you. I do not want to take that away from you but this is a serious situation. You’re already in the hospital. I am trying to be nice about this but I am not one to talk a situation to death. It’s the way it is, so don’t fight me on it.” I don’t know what just happened. Rome was calm and explaining to me and then something flipped and he is short and to the point.

  “I said I would try and that is all I can promise.” I am trying not to act upset but I am.

  “If I am not here there will be a prospect or a Feral Steel member that will be around keeping watch. If you need anything just let them know. Bud is coming back when he is finished with the fire chief and Mildred said she would be back too.”

  I just wish Rome would leave. I need time to process everything he has said. “If you will write down your professor’s numbers I will try to get your assignments or leave of absence, whatever you need.”

  “Are you mad at me for some reason? I will get in touch with my school myself. One minute you are telling me that you are going to take care of me and the next you‘re mad. What did I do?” I just need to know so I can avoid doing whatever I did again and then I get pissed. I haven’t done anything to anyone and I get beat up against a brick wall and now Rome is pissed because I don’t say how high when he says jump. My blood is beginning to boil.

  “I’m not mad. I’m just not accustomed to explaining myself. I am going to do what is in your best interest, so chill out babe. I see the wheels turning in that brain of yours. It’s going to take a little while for us to get used to each other and we can do that the easy way or if you insist, then the hard way. We will have a learning curve so you try to hold onto that temper you have simmering and I’ll try to have more patience. Has anyone ever told you that you are beautiful when you have sparks flying in those eyes of yours?” I don’t even know what to do with that. The things that are sticking with me is chill out babe or Rome saying I am beautiful. I just don’t know how to respond but I am saved by a knock on the door.

  “Come in.” I say and the nurse steps in.

  “Ms. Blount, I am here to remove your catheter. You may want your guest to step out of the room.” I look at Rome and he stands up to leave.

  “I’ll go and get some coffee. I’m not going far.” Rome looks at me to reassure me. My pain meds are making my head spin anyway.

  “We’ll talk more later.” I tell Rome. I am not letting this go so easy. Rome looks back at me.

  “You can bet on it, sweetheart.” There he goes being sweet again. This man is making my head hurt worse. Rome walks out of my room and I wonder if it would really be that bad to depend on a man for just a little while. These damn meds are messing with my thinking. The nurse walks over and slides the door completely shut and pulls the curtain so no one in the hall can see. She pulls my blankets back.

  “Ms. Blount, this will only take a few minutes.” Easy for her to say.

  Chapter 18

  Kane/Rome

  I go down to the cafeteria to get a cup of coffee. It’s not the best but it’s better than the vending machine. I don’t know how it can feel so right and wrong at the same time when I am around Tara. She makes me yearn for more out of my life but when my temper goes short, as it tends to do, I want to shelter her from me. I know Devil has been pushing me towards Tara. The why, I have not figured out.

  Bikers do not play fucking games in life like this. Live our lives free is the only way we know but watching Devil with his family maybe that is the real freedom. I wouldn’t give my bike, club, or brothers up for anything but maybe trying a real life wouldn’t be about giving things up but just adding to them. The thought of a relationship fucks with my head.

  Could Tara live with my life? Could she deal with my dreams, the meds I need, and the club always being in our life? Maybe, but there is always that chance she can’t. I pay the cashier for my coffee and walk through the dining room to look out the window. I see Bud crossing the parking lot and feel my phone vibrate in my pocket. I take it out and see it is from the prospect that is upstairs keeping an eye on Tara. They are moving Tara to the other floor so it will be a little bit before she is in her room on there. Now is a good as time as any to have a talk with Bud. I make my way to the front doors where Bud will come in. I am waiting for him when he comes through the sliding glass doors. I walk over to him.

  “Bud let me buy you a cup of coffee. They are moving Tara a floor up so it will be a little bit before she is settled.” I see the concern on Bud’s face. “Tara’s fine. They just got a room available for her. There’s a prospect following her from the floor she is on to the next one. He’s been staying in the waiting area while I was in with Tara and he will be outside her door when she is settled.”

  “Is the coffee any good?” Bud ask me.

  “The cafeteria coffee is better than the vending machines.” I tell Bud.

  “I could use some coffee. Been talking to the fire chief this morning and then went to talk to the sheriff.” Bud doesn’t sound happy. We walk into the cafeteria and Bud gets his coffee and I pay. We walk out into the dining room and take a seat by the windows so we can look out as we talk.

  “Did they find anything out yet?” I ask Bud but the look that comes over his face is one of a pissed off man.

  “They are blaming it on a gas leak which I know is a crock of horse shit. The Fire Chief doesn’t know his head from a hole in the damn ground. I then went to the sheriff’s office and he said that if the fire chief determines the explosion was from a gas leak then his hands are tied, horse shit, again.” Bud tells me and the way he says it almost makes me laugh. I don’t think I have ever seen Bud react this way but the next thing he says shocks me. “If the Feral Steel are going after the asswipes that did this then I am in and so are some of the other business owners in town. We’ll be damned if some snot nosed boys playing dress up in their daddy’s suits are going to come into our town and run the law-abiding citizens out. We will stand with the Feral Steel club.” I think about what Bud said.

  “Then what happens when they are run out of town or contained? What then? Are the good people of this small town going to go back to walking on the other side of the street when one of our club members walks down the sidewalk? Do you just want to the club to clean up this mess and then we go back to being the bad ones? That doesn’t sound like a good situation for the Feral Steel. Maybe we should just take care of us the way the good people here have only been taking care of themselves for years. You know we pay our taxes just like you do but have been treated like second class citizens, since I have been here, anyway.” It’s only the truth b
ut I see the way that Bud reacts.

  “The citizens of this town have recognized the changes Devil has made with the Feral Steel MC since he has taken over as the president. None of it has gone unnoticed but prejudices die hard. It didn’t take just a few years for the dislike of the club to take hold and the approval will not happen overnight.” Bud sounds almost apologetic.

  “Who says we want or need this damn towns approval?” I give Bud a quick comeback but I know that is a fast reaction and Devil is the one Bud needs to speak with. “You need to bring this to Devil and he will take it to the brothers. Everyone seems to think the Feral Steel has no civility, which can’t be further from the truth. We live by our own rules and that means we have no rules that aren’t voted on by all of us. Devil is our president, so talk to him.”

  “Fair enough. I am going to visit with Tara and then I will talk to Devil. Mildred will be here by lunch to stay the afternoon.” Bud looks at me then out the window, deep in thought. “I know Tara doesn’t have any insurance to pay for this stay. I will help her as much as I can but until the insurance pays off I am going to be strapped for cash. There’s not much I can do. The apartment that had Tara’s things in it was destroyed along with the kitchen and my office. I don’t know when I will be able to start cleaning up and rebuilding so Tara won’t have a job. I talked to Betty about Tara staying with us and she wouldn’t hear it. My hands are tied.” I look at Bud and see the shame hidden there.

  “Tara is under my protection. I will take care of the hospital bill and her medical bills. Tara will be coming with me back to the clubhouse when she is released until I can get a better place. If you can help her get in contact with her professors today, that would be great, if not, I will take care of that later. Can I go look at the diner? Specifically where the gas exploded?” Bud looks at me skeptically.

  “Did you let Tara in on the fact that you are going to be doing all this? She is not the type of person that lets someone else take care of her. In fact, she down right hates women that let men take care of them. She thinks that is too much like Lena and Sheila.” Bud is telling me nothing I don’t already know.

  “All you need to know Bud, is it is handled. Tara doesn’t have a choice. It is what it is. She’s mine now.” Bud laughs.

  “You’ve got a lot to learn about women.” The worry in Bud’s eyes seems to have lifted a little.

  “Tara has a lot to learn about me.” She’ll learn. One day at a time. “I am going to go look around the diner while you are here. The prospect’s name is Cricket and he is here for extra protection. He’s been told to give Tara her privacy but not to leave her floor.”

  “There’s still crime scene tape on the diner so if the authorities see you there they will run you off but I hope you can find something those assholes missed.” Bud tells me.

  “Tell Tara I’ll be back later.” Bud looks surprised I’d let Tara know I am leaving. “I’m going by the business office to take care of Tara’s medical bills. I don’t want any paper pushers bothering Tara so she can concentrate on getting better. I’ll be back to see her later.”

  “I’ll do that. Watch your back. I don’t think this is the end of it.” Bud doesn’t know just how right he is. I throw my cup away and go back out into the hallway that will take me to the offices. It doesn’t take long inside the office after I give them my credit card. If they get paid is all that matters to them.

  I need to ride. The walk to my bike clears my head a little. Hospitals have a way of making me disconnect from my feelings. I think it is a reaction of being in the hospital for so long after my injury in the military. When the smell of the sterile environment hits my nose, it is like I shut my feelings down. It was the only way I survived the many months in the hospital.

  I mount my bike and leave the place behind just for a little while. It’s not a long drive to the diner. When I set my eyes on the destruction it is not the worse I have ever seen, by far, but it is still hard to look at. This place, just twenty-four hours ago, was a family’s livelihood.

  I ride around to the back of the building and park my bike. I dismount and walk over and lift the tape from around the building and walk under it. I make my way to the side were most of the damage is. There’s not much left to the diner from this side or the building wall adjacent to it. I step inside what is left of the building. I can tell it was a violent eruption for sure but there’s no way with what is left of the kitchen I can determined the burn pattern. It would take a forensic investigator with a good knowledge of forensic science.

  My question is then how could the fire marshal determine it was a gas leak so fast? I come up with two possibilities. Either this small town doesn’t have the funds for a full investigation or money has changed hands to look the other way. Neither sit well with me. There’s nothing I will be able to determine one way or the other.

  I walk over and see they allowed Bud to at least put up some plywood to keep people out of the rest of the diner. This trip was a bust. I decide I am going to go and check in with Devil at the clubhouse and maybe Oz has found something else out. I make my way back to my bike and my phone beeps with a text alert. I check it and see Devil is calling church. Maybe that means there is news.

  Chapter 19

  Tara

  I am finally alone in my hospital room. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate Bud and Mildred being here but I need some alone time to try and figure out my feelings about what Rome said to me.

  The two of them finally went to the cafeteria to get something to eat so I have a few minutes to examine my feelings. I am a person who needs to think. I have been attracted to Rome since I first met him. I have tried to fight it and then to just put it up to hormones. How many healthy twenty-two-year-old women have only had sex when they attended high school with one boy? That’s right, boy not man and Rome is all man.

  Can I lean on him and let him take care of me? That’s where all my question come from. This is not the type of person I want to become. I want to be independent and support myself but it might not be so bad to share the responsibility for just a little while. I can find ways to help Rome, too. I don’t know anything about Rome or his life. This is something we will need to discuss. My mind is muddled with this argument in my head when my door opens and I don’t pay any attention to it until I see who is standing at the end of my bed. There stands the woman I have called mom for twenty-two years, but after yesterday, I think she is no more than a stranger. What happened to my mom?

  “We don’t have very much time so you need to get dressed. I am getting you out of here.” What is mom talking about?

  “I’m not going anywhere with you! You sat in that diner while Liam beat my head up against a wall and then you left with him.” My mom looks at me like I am crazy.

  “Young lady, you will not talk to me that way! You will respect me! Now get up and help me find your clothes. Are they in your closet?” Mom opens the closet and she finds it empty. “Where are they?”

  “Mom, Mildred took my clothes to try and get the blood out. I’m not going anywhere, I still have an IV and the doctor says he won’t release me for another day or two. They are still watching the swelling.” Then something comes to me. “Where do you want me to go and why? I have taken care of myself since I have been capable, so what is up?” My mom stops and looks at me.

  “Liam needs to have a talk with you. He thinks you may have misunderstood the conversation the two of you had.” I can’t even understand this woman nor do I want to.

  “Are you crazy? Liam tried to kill me. Do you not understand that, mom? I have staples in my head where he was beating it up against a damn wall. I have bruises and choke marks. This was not a talk. You talk with your mouth not your hands. You taught me this when I was three.” I can’t believe this woman.

  “There you go. Only thinking about Tara. Liam is going to help your sister and I get a better place to live and help us financially. We will be set. No more struggling. You just need to get on board with this. L
iam needs us to help him and his partners with a few things.” This woman has lost her mind.

  “Did you know what Liam was going to do to me yesterday?” Mom looks at me but takes a minute to answer me.

  “Let’s face it, Tara, you can be a little hard headed. Liam was just giving you a good talking to. Sometimes you need a stern hand.” I don’t even know what to say to that.

  “I’ll take that as a yes.” It’s all I can say. My head is in a whirlwind.

  “Why can’t you be more like your sister? Sheila knows what is important in life.” My mom is delusional.

  “You know that you and Sheila could be held as accomplices.” Mom glares at me.

  “Have you spoken to the cops yet?” I know now why mom is here. “We are family. There is no talking to the cops.”

  “Liam is not my family and as soon as someone gets here to take my statement, I will tell them exactly what happened.” Mom puts her hand on her hip.

  “Have you given your statement yet, Tara?” Mom is getting more upset.

  “I told you, not yet.” I move my hand to the nurse call button and push it. I don’t think mom notices.

  “Liam is going to marry your sister. He will be taking care of us, so he is family.” I don’t know who is more delusional, mom or Sheila to think Liam is going to take care of anyone but Liam.

  “Note to Mom, Liam is already married. He told me that Sheila was a piece on the side and called her a cunt. Does that sound like someone who is going to take care of anyone but themselves?” Sometimes I think my mom is so naive.

  “Get dressed, Tara. I am getting you out of here, now! Sheila can only distract the biker trash for so long.” I pick up the nurse call button off the bed and push it over and over. I sit up too fast and my head throbs.