Belonging

by Maria Bernard

  Without a glance over his shoulder, Crispin sped off in the rental car. The only thing he could think about was getting to the B&B. Even though he refused to believe a word of what Piers had said, he needed to find Gwen, to see her, to confirm what he already knew. She would never have left without him. She would never have accepted a bribe. He couldn’t get there fast enough to prove it.

  No way, would she have taken Piers’s money! The worst part was, he blamed himself for trusting him. He should never have let Piers take her for the day. As he gripped the steering wheel and stepped on the gas, he wondered what Piers might have said to Gwen. All sorts of horrendous scenarios ran amuck in his brain as he tried hard to focus on the road.

  When he finally arrived, instead of running inside, Crispin hesitated, suddenly paralyzed with fear. What if she had left? What if she wasn’t who he thought she was? Could he survive knowing she had been so easily bought? None of it made sense, but then neither did anything all of a sudden.

  With a heart filled with dread, and feet as heavy as lead, he put one foot in front of the other and made his way to their room. When he reached the door, his hand shook as he turned the key. He took a deep breath and prepared himself for the worst. Expecting to find no trace of Gwen, instead, he was hit with the full force of her body, her arms around his neck.

  “Crispin! I knew you’d come for me.”

  “Gwen?” Holding her tight, he took a moment to breathe her in before stepping back to gaze upon her. “You’re here. You didn’t leave.”

  “I would never leave without you. Or at least talking to you first.”

  Tugging her into him, he shut the door behind him with his foot and rested his back against it. They stood there for a good long while before he opened his eyes. Behind her, on the dresser, he saw what he assumed was a cheque. He slowly released her and made his way towards it. When he got close enough, he noticed it was torn in half, the pieces left beside each other.

  “I tore it and would have flushed it down the toilet,” Gwen said at his side. “But then I stopped myself. I figured I should keep it to show you, just in case he denied it. In case you didn’t believe me. I know you have trust issues. I didn’t want to take any chances. Your uncle Piers is a manipulative bastard and I was afraid he might turn you against me. He offered me two million pounds to leave you. He said you were better off without me. That I’d be selfish to keep you tied down in a relationship with me. He said I wasn’t good enough for you.”

  “Bastard…” Despite being pissed off at Piers, Crispin couldn’t help but smile at the anger in Gwen’s voice. The sight of the cute little scowl on her face as she spoke of her ordeal warmed his heart. “What did you say to him?”

  “I told him he was full of shit! But by then he’d driven away and didn’t hear me. I was too stunned at first. I wish I could have found my voice. I would have told him to stuff his money up his ass! How dare he? What was he–”

  Crispin could hold back any longer, and he cut her off with a kiss of gratitude and admiration. “Who the fuck cares?” he gasped when he drew away for a second to gaze upon her face. “I’m so proud of you. I love you, Gwen, and that’s all that matters.”

  “I love you, too!” she declared, hugging him tight, burying her face in his chest.

  “Apparently.” He chuckled, falling backwards on the bed with her. “Thank you for being you.”

  “Seriously, Crispin! If I ever see him again, I’ll let him have it!”

  “Well, perhaps you’ll get your chance.” He chuckled and tugged her up so she rested comfortably beside him, her head on his chest, her arm around him. This is where she belonged, tucked snuggly at his side. To think, before meeting her, he would never have imagined being so assured and content in another’s embrace. Yet now, especially now, to be held, to hold her so near, without fear of abandonment, was the most beautiful feeling.

  “What do you mean?” she asked, suddenly not so sure of Crispin’s intentions. “We leave for home tomorrow, right?”

  “Damn right. I can’t wait to get back. But first, I think we’ll stop in and say a proper goodbye to my dear Uncle Piers.”

  Chapter 37

  Suitcases packed and placed in the rental car, Crispin and Gwen were more than ready to get to the airport to catch their afternoon flight. But before they did, they had one last stop to make. Before they left England and returned to Canada, Crispin needed to settle things, once and for all, with his uncle.

  “Are you sure about this?” Gwen asked as they made their way to the back patio where Piers awaited them. She couldn’t help but frown at the sight of the man. All the anger and hurt at how he had treated her came rushing back and she subconsciously clenched and unclenched her fists.

  “Absolutely,” Crispin said on a wince at her tight grip on his hand. “It’s my fingers I’m currently worried about.” On a chuckle, he tugged her into his arms. When she released his hand, he shook it and flexed his fingers. “I don’t think I’ll ever play guitar again.”

  “Oops, sorry! Just the sight of him makes me so mad!”

  “Well, just promise me, you won’t knock him out until he hears what I have to say.”

  Jones greeted them first, a worried look on his face. “I’m so relieved to see you again.”

  “Good morning, Jones,” Gwen said with a polite smile.

  “Hello, dear. Thank goodness you’re both here. I feared you might have left the country without allowing us to say a proper goodbye. It would have been such a shame. My wife Iris was inconsolable when she heard what happened. Oh, and, Crispin, go easy on your uncle. Underneath it all, he really is a good person, although his judgement isn’t always spot on. I blame his bastard of a father for that.”

  “Fear not, old man,” Crispin said with a slight bow of his head. “Things are not as dour as they seem.” With a conspiring wink, he then tucked Gwen’s hand into his elbow and approached Piers.

  “Very well, I’ll bring out some coffee, and tea for the young lady,” Jones said with a smile in Gwen’s direction before running off inside.

  “Oh, my dear boy, forgive me.” Piers stood up as they approached the patio table. “Gwen, my sincerest apologies. I had you all wrong. I see that now. For whatever it’s worth, Crispin, know that I was only looking out for you.”

  Both Crispin and Gwen were caught off guard by Piers’s words and apparent contriteness. Crispin had come prepared for war or at the very least a battle. But now, all he felt was pity for his misguided uncle. Sharing a glance with Gwen, he could tell she was just as confused. At the same time, looking at her, reminded him of what Piers had done and his anger returned with a vengeance.

  “You’ve got to be kidding me,” Crispin snarked, with a dismissive roll of his eyes. “Sit your ass down, Uncle, before I do something I won’t regret.”

  Gone was the pity Gwen had seen moments ago, in its place, she saw only cool disregard in Crispin’s steely gaze. He then nodded at her and pulled a chair out for her to sit. While Piers looked on, obviously taken aback, Crispin sat in his own chair. With much reluctance, Piers eventually acquiesced.

  Gwen waited and watched the dynamics unfold. Both Piers and Crispin sat staring each other down for the longest time. It was a good thing they were outside in the fresh air with the birds chirping in the background. If they were inside, with this much tension between them, it would make it impossible to breathe. When Jones appeared with the tea and coffee, she was almost relieved, but when she noticed neither Crispin or Piers had broken eye contact, she couldn’t help but crack up with laughter. For some reason, they reminded her of characters from a book. None in particular, but the scenario itself. Two indignant English gentlemen glaring at each other over tea in a garden setting, it was almost surreal!

  When they both turned to her with incredulous looks on their faces, she nearly lost it again. But feeling a tad guilty, she placed a hand on Crispin’s forearm. “I’m sorry, I don’t know why I did that. Well, actually I do. I’ll explain later, th
ough.”

  Crispin quirked an eyebrow and turned his attention back to his uncle. “Right then, before I start, since Gwen’s feeling better, I think I should let her speak first.” He then gave her hand an encouraging squeeze.

  Caught off guard, Gwen cleared her throat and nodded. “Thanks, Crispin.” She then turned to Piers. From her pocket, she retrieved the torn cheque and slapped it on the table. “As you can see, I don’t want your money, Piers. If you had given me a minute longer yesterday I would have told you to stuff it!”

  “And you would have had every right,” Piers agreed with obvious regret. “I had you all wrong.”

  “Damn right!” The more she thought of it, of what he’d said, of what he had set out to do, the angrier she got, so much so, she stood up and paced back and forth.

  After a few calming breaths, she came to stand behind Crispin’s chair, her hands on his shoulders. “How dare you try to separate us? How dare you assume I would be so easily bribed? You know nothing about me. I love Crispin!” She punctuated the point by giving him a tight squeeze. In return, Crispin placed a hand over hers.

  “I would never just leave without a word, without talking to him!” she said. “Don’t you understand how awful a person I would have to be to simply leave him on nothing more than your advice? And who the hell are you to pretend you know what’s good for Crispin? You’ve only just met him! You don’t know the life he’s lived. If you did, you would never have asked me to abandon him!” By now, she was shaking. She might have even been embarrassed at her outburst, but at the same time, she felt awesome for having vented her anger. Crispin took hold of her hand, brought it to his lips and gave her knuckles a soft kiss. With a look of appreciation in his eyes and a smile on his handsome face, he helped her back into her chair.

  Had she been too harsh with Piers? For all of a second, she questioned herself. But when Crispin smiled at her with pride and love in his eyes, she felt validated. When Piers had suggested she leave without a word, she knew if she had done such a thing, Crispin would never trust her again, even if he did eventually forgive her.

  “Go ahead, Crispin,” she said when he glanced her way. “I’ve said all needed to say.”

  Crispin couldn’t help but smile. “Well, I believe you’ve just about said everything I needed to say.”

  “Again, I apologize to you both,” Piers interrupted. “I only hope you’ll forgive me. Obviously, I was wrong. But trust me when I tell you, Crispin, I was only looking out for you.”

  At his unfortunate choice of words, Crispin snapped out of his glow of admiration for Gwen. Leaning forward in his chair, he pointed his finger at Piers and glared at him. “Trust you?” he repeated as if the words left a bitter taste in his mouth. “Oh, you can just forget that, my dear uncle.”

  There it was, Gwen observed. One simply does not betray Crispin and expect forgiveness anytime soon. She recalled him telling her of his mistrust of his housemate, Keegan. While he may have forgiven him for leaving the House of Goths that one time, he hadn’t forgotten it. If anything, Crispin was consistent.

  “As for looking out for me, don’t bother. I don’t need parenting at this point in my life. I’ll look after myself just fine as I’ve always done.” Crispin paused, allowing his words to sink in. “You said yesterday, you wanted to get to know me. Well, here it is. It’s real simple. Listen carefully, with your ears this time.”

  Piers nodded and gestured for him to continue. “I don’t play head games. I communicate. I told you yesterday of my responsibilities, my commitments. Yet obviously you came to your own conclusions. You see, shit like that doesn’t work with me. That may be your style or that of your father’s, but it is not mine and it will never be. I haven’t the time for it. I don’t care who you are, blood relative or not. Once you pull that shit with me, you’re on my list.”

  “Your list?” Piers repeated warily.

  “My shit list,” Crispin explained. “Welcome aboard, dear uncle, enjoy your stay.”

  Gwen couldn’t be more proud of Crispin. Everything he said was true to his nature. He was a man of his word. The more time she spent in his company, the more she fell in love with him.

  “Dear boy, forgive me,” Piers pleaded. “I was a fool. I thought I was doing the right thing. Crispin, I’ve wanted to find you for so long. Life hasn’t been easy for me despite all this wealth. It can be unbearably lonely at times. When you showed up out of the blue, I lost all focus. You look so much like my dear sister. I wanted you here with me. I didn’t want Gwen taking you away so soon. I thought I was doing the right thing, turns out I am no better than my father.”

  It was hard not to be moved by his uncle’s confession, but Crispin wasn’t ready to give in just yet. “I don’t even know what to do with all that,” he said, shaking his head. “I can’t just stay here to keep you company. The best thing I can do to salvage any possible future relationship with you, is to put some distance between us.”

  “Is there no room in your heart for forgiveness?” Piers persisted. “Will you simply turn your back on your responsibilities here, refuse your inheritance? You can hate me all you want, but think of your mother, my dear sister, this was her home, too. Don’t hold my actions against her.”

  “This has nothing to do with my mother and I don’t hate you. I simply don’t like you right now and I’m okay with that. As for forgiveness, sure I can forgive you. I just can’t trust you.”

  “What does that even mean? Are you staying or not?”

  “I am not staying,” Crispin repeated. “But I’m not leaving forever. I will leave this afternoon with Gwen but I intend to return in the near future to look after my responsibilities here. As for my inheritance, of course, I want it. I’m not an idiot.”

  “That’s wonderful news,” Piers said, standing up, relieved. “Jones and Iris will be happy to hear of it as well. I appreciate this, Crispin. Truly, I am happy to finally meet you, to bring you home, and to give you what’s yours. My sister meant the world to me and I’m grateful for this opportunity to do right by her. She would have been so proud of you.” He held his hand out for his nephew. “As am I.”

  “This is much better, don’t you think?” Gwen said as Crispin stood up and shook his uncle’s hand. “Honest communication, it’s so refreshing.”

  “Agreed,” Piers affirmed as he then held out his hand for her. “Forgive me, Gwen.”

  “Forgiven,” she replied, returning the gesture. “Just don’t mess with me again.” At her side, Crispin chuckled and nodded approvingly at her spirited retort.

  “I wouldn’t dream of it,” Piers said. “I’ve learned my lesson.” He then turned to his nephew. “I respect your decision, Crispin. I’ll have the lawyers update your information. Crispin Clover, correct? Or will you be changing your name now? You could go with Hewson, or you could go with Harlow? Personally, I recommend Harlow.”

  With his arm around Gwen, Crispin announced with confidence, “My name is Crispin Clover, thank you very much.”

  Chapter 38

  Before long, Crispin and Gwen made it to the airport. While waiting for their flight to commence boarding, they stood at the window by their gate watching planes take off and land. So much had happened on this trip and now it was coming to an end and Gwen sighed, resting her head on his chest. Both lost in thought, they said nothing for the longest time.

  The familiar buzz of Crispin’s cell phone stirred them from their reflections. “You should call her,” Gwen said, seeing that familiar melancholy smile on Crispin’s face when he checked the message.

  “Call who?” he teased.

  “Becky.” She poked him in the chest. “While you do that, I should call Stacy back too. I’ll tell her not to bother picking me up at the airport.”

  “Yes, of course, I’ll drive you home,” Crispin said. “Hmmm…. perhaps I should have a word with Stacy.”

  “Why?” she quipped. “Are you going to let her have it for her part in my hijacking of your trip?”

>   “Actually, I want to thank her for working her magic.” On the way to the airport, Gwen had told him all about Stacy and her matchmaking skills. “Never mind, scratch that. I know who the real mastermind behind it is,” he said, stroking his thumb over the bracelet on her wrist.

  “Your mother?” she asked.

  “I’m sure she had her part in all this,” he said pensively. “But it is you I hold accountable.”

  “Me?” She stood back and blinked at him.

  “Oh, you know I didn’t stand a chance against those beguiling eyes of blue-grey.”

  “You’re not going to hold it against me forever, are you?” She playfully batted her lashes at him.

  “Are you kidding me?” He dragged her back into his embrace and pressed his lips to her ear. “You’ll be paying for your trickery the rest of your life!” He gave her lobe borderline painful bite. “On your back and strapped to my bed.”

  “Bring it on, Master Crispin.” She giggled and squirmed away a few steps to call Stacy. “Now call Becky!” she ordered over her shoulder.

  “Yes, Mistress Gwen,” Crispin said with a smirk. Taking his cell phone in hand, he smiled as he started to reply to the latest text message from Dorian. He chuckled at the angry message, demanding he call Becky and put them all out of their misery. He started to text but decided a call would be best. He had purposely avoided returning their messages to test his fortitude, to see how long he could go without caving in. At times it had been pure torture, especially, all those messages from Becky. He had proven he could survive without his friends. He simply realized he no longer wanted to. In fact, he couldn’t wait to see them, and nothing short of a familiar voice would do at that moment.

  “Hello?” Sure enough, after only one ring, Dorian answered and the mere sound of his friend’s voice sent Crispin’s heart racing.

  “Hey, how are you, Dorian?”