Wanderlust (1986)

by Steel, Danielle

  Chapter 9

  They spent the night making love on their way to Austria, and when Audrey awoke the next morning, she had tousled hair and wide eyes. For a moment she had forgotten where she was going with him, and then suddenly it all came back to her, as they ground to a slow halt and she peeked out the window over Charles's shoulder, and saw the sleek blue and gold train on the other side of the platform waiting for them. The marking on the side said COMPAGNIE INTERNATIONALE DES WAGONS-LITS ET DES GRANDS EXPRESS and suddenly Audrey was wide-eyed as she looked at it. This was the train she had read so much about, for so many years. Her grandfather had even told her about it. He had taken it years before. And there were photographs of it in her father's albums too, and now suddenly here she was, staring out at it, in all its splendor, waiting to discover its mysteries.

  Charles ' look ' . She poked him like a child and he stirred sleepily and looked up at her with a lazy smile.

  Good morning, love. He ran a hand caressingly over her behind and she smiled at him, but she was far more interested in the scene outside. Even at that hour, there were fascinating people boarding the train. Men who looked like bankers and women who looked like concubines or movie stars or presidents' wives. There was a woman draped in silver fox, and another carrying an armload of sables despite the warm September air. There were men in pin-striped suits and homburgs, with heavy gold watch chains stretched across their stomachs, as though holding them in. She was fascinated, and she reached across Charlie distractedly, groping for something just beyond him, as he looked at her, amused at her excitement over what he jokingly referred to as a mere train.

  Are you crazy? she intoned, outraged, as she found what she had been looking for. It was her Leica, and she focused it immediately on the scene outside. That's the Orient Express out there, not just a train for heaven's sake. He laughed at her, took the camera out of her hands when she had had a chance to take at least half a roll of film, and set it down gingerly before pinning her down beneath his long graceful limbs and looking down at her hungrily.

  Is this why you came with me? Just to take photographs? He was teasing her and she was laughing up at him.

  Damn right. What did you think I came here for? He was kissing her by then, and they were both laughing, as he kissed her again and again, and then slowly the laughter faded and gently at first, and then passionately after a time, he made love to her, and she arched her back with pleasure as he teased and taunted her and then brought her to the place she instinctively sought in his arms, and when they lay peacefully in each other's arms again, she looked up at him happily. I'm glad I'm here with you, Charles.

  So am I, my love.

  And she was even more so when she saw the train. The interior of the parlor and dining cars was all in inlaid wood. There were glass reliefs and shining bits of brass. The compartment they shared had a drawing room with velvet curtains and more magnificent inlaid woods. It looked more like someone's living room than a train, and Audrey continued to be awestruck as they ate lunch, still waiting for the rest of the passengers to board. It was a six-course meal, smaller than dinner of course, and there were strolling gypsy violinists to keep them amused while they ate. The waiter brought them a plate of little hors d'oeuvres with steak tartare and slices of smoked salmon on dark bread before they began the meal, and Audrey was embarrassed to discover how hungry she was, but she and Charles managed to clean the plate. They also devoured the generous helpings of caviar, and Charles commented that they were obviously showing off how excellent their refrigeration was. With their new refrigerated cars, they could serve their patrons almost anything, and they did. The rest of the repast was equally extraordinary ' asparagus hollandaise ' rack of Iamb ' perfect tiny shrimp ' profiteroles ' . Audrey felt as though she could barely stand up by the time they finished their excellent Viennese coffee, and Charles lit a cigar, which was rare for him, but after a meal as fine as that, it seemed a suitable indulgence for him. Audrey sat back in her chair, enjoying the haze of blue smoke from Charlie's cigar, and watching their fellow travelers arrive one by one. There was a woman draped in mink over a gray wool suit, turning to speak to a man in a homburg with a monocle as they both laughed and two tiny white Pekingese barked at their heels, and in the distance two maids carrying what looked like an armful of fur coats for her. There was another woman in a red silk dress, she had incredible skin and her hair tightly pulled in a knot with two huge rubies in her ears. She looked like a demimondaine, and she exposed a suitable expanse of leg as she boarded the train, and there were countless matched suitcases and steamer trunks being put on with her. And once ensconced in the huge velvet chairs in their suite, Audrey sat back comfortably, talking to Charles, telling him what her father's photographs had been like, and chatting easily with him. Traveling with Charlie was like traveling with her dearest friend. They seemed to laugh at the same things, to find the same people amusing or unbearable or ridiculous, and together, they laughed at everything. He was enchanted by how delighted she was with all of it, and he was in heaven over the idea that she had come along with him. He could hardly wait to show her Istanbul, when they arrived there, and share a night with her in his favorite hotel, before putting her back on the train again. But he couldn't think about that now. The trip was just beginning for them. It was no time to think of saying good-bye. Not yet. Not now. The fun had just begun.

  That afternoon, before they left, she showered and changed for him, and she emerged from the bedroom of their suite, wearing a dress that enchanted him, it was a pink wool dress with a bias-cut drape and a little pink hat by Rose Descat that Lady Vi had insisted she buy in Cannes, and she didn't regret it now. It seemed perfect for this extraordinary train filled with equally extraordinary people, and for the occasion, she had worn her grandmother's very large pearls, with matching pearls in her ears. Grandfather had given them to her when she turned twenty-one, and like the hat, she was glad to have them with her now. She felt very chic as they strolled the platform arm in arm, and she was surprised to see some uniforms she hadn't noticed before, as a group of men arrived and seemed to hover near the entrance to their car, conferring quietly, and looking as though they were waiting for someone, as indeed they were.

  Who are they? She looked intrigued, and Charles off-handedly glanced at their lapels. The uniforms weren't identical, but they were similar to others he had seen in Germany.

  I think they're some of Hitler's men.

  Here? She seemed surprised. He had been named Chancellor of Germany seven months before, but this was Austria after all.

  There are Austrian Nazis too. I saw some in Vienna when I was there in June. Even though here I think it's fairly rare to see them in uniform. Dollfuss, the Austrian Chancellor, banned Nazi uniforms here this year, and Hitler got so mad, he imposed a tax on any German visiting Austria. It kicked the hell out of their tourist business here, and I think some Nazis here just ignored the ban. Maybe these guys are here on official business of some kind.

  Audrey glanced at them again, even more intrigued. She had read a great deal about Hitler before she left the States. And Vi and James had had quite a lot to say about him. They seemed to think he was dangerous, even though in America, no one appeared to be worried about that. She noticed then that the men in uniform were speaking to a man and his wife who were traveling with another man. All three of them were well dressed and in their middle years. The taller man of the two seemed quite composed as he explained something to the two Nazis, both of whom were frowning menacingly. They made a curt demand, and the shorter, older man produced two passports, obviously his and his wife's, as Audrey stared at them.

  What do you suppose they want from them, Charles?

  Just their papers probably. He made little of it and refilled her glass. Don't worry about it. They're terribly officious with each other in these countries, but they won't bother us. He didn't want anything spoiling her trip, and he had begun to hear things earlier that year that concerned him about the Nazi regime
. There was no doubt that it was good for Germany, and they were starting to build some really beautiful roads, but their violent anti-Semitism was something that didn't sit well with him. He glanced out the window as Audrey watched, and suddenly one of the men in uniform grabbed the smaller older man by the throat. Everyone on the platform seemed totally startled by it, and the woman who must have been his wife let out a frightened scream. They slapped her husband across the face, their passports disappeared, a few curt words were said to the wife and the other man, and without ceremony the two men in uniform led the smaller man away, protesting, attempting to explain something to them unsuccessfully and gesticulating and calling to his friend and his wife.

  What's he saying? ' what did he say? Audrey was standing nervously, frightened by what she had seen, and anguished for the poor woman who was now crying in the other man's arms.

  It's all right, Aud. Charles put an arm around her. He told them not to worry about him, that he'll get it straightened out. But now they saw all their luggage being taken off the train, and the woman was still sobbing in the other man's arms as they walked out of sight.

  My God, what happened? Distractedly, Audrey hurried outside, and met the conductor almost at once. What happened to that man? She was only slightly embarrassed for making a fuss about it. Everyone else had observed what went on, said nothing at all, and then gone on their way.

  It's nothing, mademoiselle. He was quick to reassure her with a smile, and a glance over her head at Charles, as though he would understand. Only a petty criminal attempting to board the train. But he didn't look like a criminal. He looked more like a banker, or a businessman. He had worn a fine hat, a well-tailored suit, and a thick gold watch chain across his vest, and his wife had been expensively dressed too. There is no problem. He walked past her, and in an undertone told the porter to bring them another bottle of champagne, but a few moments later as someone else boarded the train she heard the whispered words, only one of which came clear to her and she looked up at Charles in dismay.

  That woman said Juden,' and she was talking about him, wasn't she?

  I don't know, Aud. He looked troubled, but he didn't want her to get even more upset than she was.

  They were Jews. Or he was anyway. My God ' then it's true, isn't it, the things people are starting to say? My God, Charles ' how terrible ' .

  He gently grabbed her arm, as though to bring her back, and he looked deep into her eyes. There's nothing you can do about it, Aud. Don't let it spoil your trip. He wanted that more than anything. And what he said was true. They were helpless to assist the man, so why torture themselves, and more than likely he'd be all right.

  Audrey's eyes blazed at his words. It spoiled his trip, didn't it? And his wife's ' and their friends'. She glared at Charles. What if it were James and Violet? If they took James away, would you just let them take him, or would you do something?

  Look, dammit, he glared right back at her, more than a little displeased with her argument, that's not the same thing. Of course I wouldn't let it happen to James. But I don't even know this man, and there's nothing we can do to help. Just put it out of your mind. But it had an unsettling effect on them both, until at last the train got under way, and Charlie came to sit beside her on the small velvet settee and took her hands in his.

  Aud, there's absolutely nothing we can do about it. He put an arm around her shoulders and she began to cry.

  I felt so terrible, Charlie ' why couldn't we have done something for them?

  Because you can't always. You can't stop the tides. There are ugly things happening here right now. And maybe it's important that we not get involved.

  Do you really believe that? She was shocked at him.

  For myself, no. But I would never do anything to jeopardize you. If I had made a scene out there today, I might have wound up in jail, and then what would happen to you? These are powerful people here, Hitler's men. We're in no position to do anything about it, and we have to recognize that. This isn't London or New York. You're a long way from home.

  She felt that now, for the first time in this ominous way, and it was difficult not to think about the man they had led away.

  It makes you feel so helpless, doesn't it? He nodded his head silently. It had haunted him too. And what she had said to him had hit home. What if it had been James? ... or Aud ... it was a hideous thought as he held her close to him, and they sought comfort in each other's arms, and a while later, desire overtook them again, and he made love to her on the settee, as the countryside slid by, and they both felt more peaceful again as they dressed for dinner that night. It was more like being in a hotel than on a train, and Charles followed her quietly to the dining car, admiring the plunging neckline of her backless white satin dress that showed off the remains of her Riviera tan admirably, and made Charlie ache with desire for her again.

  But they spoke of the incident on the platform again at dinner, and talking about it seemed to relieve them both. Is that common here in Austria? Are they arresting all the Jews? She looked desperately concerned as the waiter served the fourth of their wines.

  I'm not sure. I heard something about it in Vienna in June, and in Berlin a few months ago. It may just be random attacks. They claim they're only after enemies of the Reich, but I don't trust Hitler somehow, and the definition leaves the interpretation rather vague. Doesn't it? She looked unnerved and she agreed with him.

  James said the same thing in Antibes when we talked about it one night. It's frightening, the way Hitler wants to militarize the country. You know, it can only lead to war. Why aren't more people frightened by that?

  Because not very many people agree with us, I'm afraid. The Americans certainly don't. They seem to think he's marvelous, from what I can judge.

  That makes me sick. Audrey was thinking of the man in the station again. And Charles looked terribly serious when he lit his cigar this time. It's a luxury to enjoy the freedom we do. They were reminded of it all the more as they rolled into Czechoslovakia, Hungary, and Rumania, and at the few stops they made, uniformed officials would get on. But even then, one never saw all of the passengers. It was amazing how many traveled secluded in their compartments, giving private parties for the group they traveled with, or simply being alone to watch the countryside or drink champagne with their mistresses or wives. Audrey and Charles got out to stretch once or twice, and as they rapidly approached Istanbul, she began to look sad, and it was on their last walk the night before they were to arrive that she turned her eyes sorrowfully up to his. The days in Venice and on the Orient Express had been like a honeymoon, and neither of them wanted to see it end.

  I can't believe we're almost there ' a dream of a lifetime, and it's over in two days. Somehow, she sighed, it should take longer than that, don't you think?

  Charles smiled and squeezed her hand a little tighter as they walked along. They seemed to talk for hours about politics and books, his travels, her father's adventures so long ago, the brother he had lost, Annabelle, even Harcourt ' her photographs ' . There always seemed to be more to say, something more they wanted to do. It was difficult to believe that they would be in Istanbul the next day, and she would be leaving for London again the day after that, and God only knew when he would see her again.

  When they boarded the train again, they sat watching the countryside roll by in the early dusk, the shepherds wandering the hills with their flocks on their way home through the woods. It looked almost biblical as night fell and Audrey held out a hand to him.

  I keep thinking about that man, wondering what happened to him.

  Charles looked at her soberly. They probably let him go, and he caught the next train. You can't torment yourself over something like that. This isn't the States, Aud. Strange things happen here. You can't get involved in what they do. It was one of the reasons for his success in writing about remote parts of the world. He was a professional observer and never got involved. He had been there when the Japanese attacked Shanghai in '32, and he ha
d been allowed to leave and had been back several times since, but part of that freedom stemmed from the fact that he never interfered with what he saw, no matter how troubling it was, and he tried to explain that to her now. It's the price we pay for the privilege of being there, Aud. You have to pretend it's not happening ' or at least not to you.

  That's awfully difficult, isn't it?

  Sometimes. But you'll get hurt otherwise. He sighed and sat back again. He was thinking of other things. Their last moments on the Orient Express, and then they had only one more day before she headed west again and he began his interminable journey to the East. He would have loved to take a trip like that with her one day, but he didn't even mention it to her now. Instead, he looked out into the night, thinking of the exotic pleasures of Istanbul. You're going to love it, Audrey. It's an incredible place. Different from anything you've ever seen. There was something wondrous about showing it to her, like a whole new world, a new life, and she newly born into it with him. It was a heady experience for them both, and he talked about his experiences all through dinner that night, as she listened, fascinated, wishing, as he had, that there would be opportunities for them to travel together again. And after another enormous meal, they went back to their rooms, and there was a sadness in the air which they both felt, as she tried to tell him how happy she was she'd come.

  But there was more they didn't know how to say. Somehow, speaking of Istanbul kept reality away, as though she would be there forever with him, and not just for one day before leaving again, to go in separate directions, back to their separate lives. It was Audrey who had the courage to say the words first, as he looked unhappily at her.

  I can't imagine a life without you anymore, Charles. Her voice was sad and soft as she looked at him. Isn't that strange, after such a short time? It was almost as though they had gotten married somewhere along the way and hadn't noticed it, or as though the act of making love had created an un-severable bond between them. And yet that wasn't what Harcourt and Annabelle felt ' it was more like what James shared with Lady Vi. Was it that they had been endowed with a rare gift then. and what would happen to it now?