If I Can't Have You

by Dawn Jiles

  “I’m not letting this nigga get away with what he did to you, and that’s a promise,” I told her.

  She didn’t say anything; she just snuggled up close to me. I was going to kill that nigga when I saw him, and I meant that shit with everything in me.

  The following day, Corey, David, and I went over to Zoe’s house, packed up all her things, and brought them to my house. We threw her furniture and stuff out because I had completely furnished my place with all brand-new stuff and her stuff was old. We left that bum-ass nigga’s shit right at the house. I started to burn all his shit up, but I felt that was being petty. Now I needed to let Sam know that things between her and me were over. I just didn’t know how she going to take it.

  Chapter Twenty-three

  Corey

  Mo and I were lying in the bed, chilling for the remainder of the night. I had been at the Plaza all day, signing contracts with business owners who were looking to rent out some of the space we had available. All I had wanted to do was come home, eat, and lie up with my lady. When I made it home, she had made us some fried chicken, macaroni and cheese, and a side salad. That shit had been fire; my baby knew how to get down in the kitchen. Now I was watching TV, and she was reading some book on her Kindle. My phone had alerted me, so I grabbed it to see what was going on. I had a message from an unknown number. When I opened it, a picture popped up. My blood instantly began to boil. I looked over at Mo, and she was just in her own little world, not realizing that shit had just got real.

  “We need to talk,” I said, snatching the Kindle out of her hand.

  “What the hell is your problem? Don’t be snatching my shit out of my hand. If you want to talk, just say that, but don’t be rude about it,” she snapped at me, then rolled her eyes. I wanted to smack her damn eyes out of her head, but she was lucky I didn’t hit women.

  “You still fucking with that nigga? You trying to send me to jail, aren’t you?” I asked, getting in her face.

  “What nigga?” she asked, looking clueless and pushing me back some.

  “What you mean, what nigga? You got that many you don’t know who I’m talking about? You just became a little ho when we broke up, huh?” I asked. When those words left my mouth, I instantly regretted them.

  She slapped spit out of my mouth. “Corey, if you ever in your fucking life call me a ho again, we are definitely going to have some problems,” she said, on the verge of tears. I could tell that had really hurt her.

  “I’m sorry, Monique. That was really disrespectful. I need to know if you are still messing with that nigga, though,” I said.

  “Corey, you are being really fucking irritating right now. You know damn well that you are the only person I am with. I don’t know what your problem is, but you need to just spill it out, because this shit you doing right now isn’t cool at all,” she said.

  “Explain this shit here, then,” I said, showing her the picture. Someone had sent me a picture of Tremaine and Mo, and he was all up on her.

  Her face dropped when she saw the picture, and she looked guilty as hell.

  “You better not say that shit is old, because you were wearing that pink jogging suit from Victoria’s Secret that I just recently bought you,” I said, staring directly in her eyes.

  She remained silent.

  “What? The cat got your tongue? You don’t know how to speak now?” I asked.

  “Corey, I can explain. That is not what it seems. I can promise you that,” she said.

  “I think I seen all I need to see right about now. You still want that nigga, so I am just going to let you have him. I am tired of fighting over you. There is no explanation good enough that’s going to explain this. Why are you even alone with this nigga? Why is anyone able to take a picture of you two together when y’all are not supposed to be around each other?” I said. I stood up to leave.

  “Corey, I am not with him. Somehow he got my number, and he was blowing me up. I blocked him, and he would just call me from other numbers. I met up with him to tell him to leave me alone. He got up in my face, talking shit, so I snapped on him and left,” she said.

  “Why would you even go meet with that nigga? You should have changed your number again, or you could have told me so I could have handled that nigga myself. I think you wanted to see that nigga,” I snapped.

  “That’s not true. I love you. I don’t want him. I am tired of changing my number. I am tired of all this damn drama. I just want peace in my life, but it seems like I can never get it,” she said through tears.

  “Yo, I need some time to think about things, so I’m out,” I said. As I headed toward the door, she begged and pleaded with me, but I left.

  It really bothered me that Mo could be so damn naive at times. I loved her and I believed her story, but it was frustrating, because she should not have been with that nigga in the first place. It bothered me that someone else knew how good my baby’s pussy was. It bothered me that she had kissed this nigga and he had touched all over her body. Thinking about that shit drove me crazy. It made me want to go kill a nigga right now. I had proposed to this girl because I really did love her and wanted to spend a lifetime with her, but her being with that nigga had really put a damper on our relationship. It was harder than I had thought to move past that shit, and obviously, somebody didn’t want us to, because they had sent me this picture. I knew eventually I was going to take my ass home, because I still had a skeleton in my closet. I had fucked Sam after Mo and I broke up, and Mo still didn’t know about that. I prayed her ass never found out.

  She had changed me so much, because I was honestly faithful to her ass. I had never cheated on her. Now, I had done some fucked-up shit, but it had never been when we were together. When I was in high school, I had had plenty of hoes, but I had settled down once I got with her. I was going to have to really get rid of this nigga Tremaine, because he was causing too many problems for me. I decided to go over to Kevin’s house to play the game before I took my ass back home. I knew my girl was probably tripping.

  Mo

  I was so tired of all this fucking drama. It was like a never-ending cycle of bullshit. I was tired of being mad at folks; I just wanted some happiness in my life. Corey had come back home that night, and we had sat and talked about everything and had been able to move forward. Somebody was trying to make my life a living hell, and I was tired of sitting around and letting them.

  I had decided to call my father so that we could make up. I was tired of being angry with him, and this was the longest I had ever gone without talking to him. It’d been about nine months that I had been avoiding him. We had agreed that I would stop by to talk. I pulled up to my parents’ house and walked to the door. Before I could stick my key in, the door swung open. I fell into my father’s arms and just cried for, like, ten minutes straight without saying a word. We went into the house and sat down; then he handed me some tissue.

  “Baby girl, I am so sorry for lying to you all these years. Please find it in your heart to forgive me,” he said, with much pain in his voice. I knew that not being able to talk to me for all these months had taken a toll on him.

  “I forgive you, Daddy, and I am tired of walking around with all this anger. I just want to put all of this behind us and move forward, as long as you promise not to keep anymore secrets,” I said.

  “I promise,” my dad said.

  I sat around with him and watched some movies for a few hours before I left to meet up with Bria. She hadn’t been back home with David in a few weeks. Honestly, I didn’t think that baby was David’s, but I guessed only time would tell. When I got to Bria’s place, I climbed out of my car. I knocked on Bria’s door, and she let me in. She was holding my chubby godson, so I took him from her. She led me into her bedroom, and I sat down on the lounge chair she had in her room.

  “So what’s been going on, chica?” Bria said.

  “Nothing much. Just left from seeing my dad,” I told her.

  “I’m glad you finally made up with
him. Your ass should have forgiven him sooner. Everybody makes mistakes,” she said.

  “You really got your nerve, Bria. Look where you are at. You are back with your parents because David may have gotten someone else pregnant while y’all were broken up. You left him, and you don’t even know if the bitch was telling the truth about even having a baby. In my opinion, you are handing your family right to her,” I said.

  “First of all, I left David because I didn’t want to deal with baby mama drama. I can honestly see myself beating her ass every time I see her, because that ho got a smart-ass mouth, and I cannot deal with that,” Bria said.

  “But you don’t even know if the girl actually even had a baby. She could have made that shit up to get on your nerves. And even if she did have a baby, who is it to say that it’s David’s? You need to take your ass home and fight for your family. You give up too easy,” I told her.

  “You are right, but my heart still feels very broken. I don’t know how to let it go,” she said, on the verge of tears.

  “You let it go the first time, so you can do it this time,” I said.

  I stayed over there for a few hours, then went home to my man. Whoever that bitch or nigga was who had tried to break us up needed to give it up, because I was not going anywhere and neither was Corey. And when I found out who was behind the bullshit, someone was going to have an ass whupping coming their way, because I was sick of the bullshit.

  Bria

  I had decided to take my stubborn butt home and make up with David. He had told me that the girl indeed did have a baby, and that he had gone to see the child. He’d taken a picture of the little boy, but when he’d shown it to me, I honestly couldn’t tell if the baby was his or not. The baby didn’t look like David or the girl, whose name was Meka, by the way. I refused to allow David to spend time with the baby until he got a paternity test. That bitch was not to be trusted, and I honestly thought she just wanted to be with David. He had also told me that she had slept with several men. That was the main reason he had slept with her; he had just wanted an easy fuck, without all the pressure. David was being honest with me now, and even if it hurt my feelings, but I would rather know the truth instead of being lied to.

  David was still sleep at the moment, but I was wide awake, because we had some shit to take care of today.

  “Baby, get up,” I said as I shook him out of his sleep.

  “Why are you waking me up? The baby is not here, and we don’t have no place to be,” he said as he rolled over on his other side.

  “We do have somewhere to be, so get dressed and meet me in the living room,” I told him.

  Ten minutes later, he finally got his yellow ass up and headed to our bathroom. About thirty minutes later, he came downstairs, fully dressed.

  “Where are we going?” he asked, obviously irritated and still sleepy.

  I pulled out a paternity test and handed it to him. He had this shocked look on his face. I refused to wait months before he got a paternity test; we were about to do this shit right now.

  “Really, Bria? This couldn’t wait?” he said.

  “Hell no, this can’t wait. You are going to get a paternity test so that we can move forward with our lives. You acting like you don’t want to know if this baby is yours or not,” I said, with much attitude.

  “Of course I want to know if he is mine. I just don’t feel like dealing with all this damn drama,” he said.

  “Me neither, but it needs to be done, so move your ass and let’s go,” I said as I stood up.

  We walked out to his car. Once in the car, we drove to Meka’s house in complete silence. I knew the bitch was at home, because her ass was on W2, and she didn’t have shit else to do. I honestly didn’t know what the hell David saw in her, because she was not cute and she had absolutely nothing going for her at all. The bitch did have a body, though. I would give her that, but that was about it.

  When we finally arrived at her house, I stayed in the car, because I didn’t want to be held responsible for what I might do if her ass tried me again. David walked up to the porch and rang the doorbell. His friend Mitch answered the door, with nothing on but some boxers and socks. I shook my head, because this ho had slept with his friend. I didn’t know what the two of them said, but a minute later, Mitch disappeared and David remained standing on her porch. Moments later, Miss Rat came to the door.

  “What you doing here, David? And why did you bring that ho to my house?” Meka said, loud enough for me to hear.

  I just ignored her ass, because I was not trying to go to jail today.

  “Look, don’t worry about all that. I came to swab little man so I could send this test off to see if he’s mine,” David said.

  “Oh, hell naw. You didn’t get a test with that bitch, but you over here trying to test my baby? He is yours, and you are about to be on child support, so you better start paying up,” she said, popping some damn gum.

  “Look, I am not giving you shit until you take the damn test. I know that DJ is mine, but you just a ho. You over here with one of my friends, and I am supposed to believe little dude is mines? Shit. For all I know, he could be Mitch’s baby,” David said.

  “Fuck you, David. My baby ain’t taking shit, and you best believe your ass is going to pay up,” she said, and then she slammed the door in his face. I had a feeling this ratchet-ass ho was going to be on that bullshit. We were twenty years old; we should be able to handle shit like this without all the drama.

  “Now what?” David said as he got back in the car.

  “Look, we tried. If her ass don’t want to get a test, then that’s her problem,” I said.

  “I just hope I am making the right decision. I don’t want to miss out on my son’s life if he is indeed mine,” he said.

  Hearing those words saddened me, but I sucked it up because I had decided to stay with him. But I refused to play stepmom to a child I didn’t even know was my man’s baby, and I refused to let David take care of a child he didn’t even know was his. Either the bitch got the test or she had better find her another dummy to play Daddy, because this one right here belonged to me. I was not about to play games with that ratchet bitch.

  Chapter Twenty-four

  Kendra

  Tim had practically stayed with Sam and me for three months, until he decided he wanted to go back home to his wife. I knew she didn’t have any idea that he had stayed with us, or that Tim and I had been fucking that entire time, but she was about to find out. Sam had come up to me one day and had told me to record Tim and me having sex, and I had done that shit. Now I had proof that we had slept together. I had another surprise for that ass too, but I was not ready to reveal that just yet.

  I hadn’t heard from Tim since the day he went back to Sharon’s black ass, but I bet when she left his ass, he was going to crawl right back to me, and I would be waiting with open arms. I had never loved another man as much as I loved Tim, and I refused to just let him continue to live the life we were supposed to be living together with someone else. I had not even slept with another man in all these years. I had been faithful to him the entire time, and you would think he would appreciate that.

  Sam was able to get Sharon’s e-mail address out of Monique’s phone. Right now I was heading to Tim’s office, because I had something to tell him that I could not tell him over the phone. When I walked into his office and asked to speak with Tim, I lied and told the receptionist that I needed to speak with a lawyer about something and that I was referred to Tim by one of his clients. She told me to have a seat and handed me a bottle of water. About ten minutes later, Tim walked out into the lobby, and you would have sworn he saw a ghost. He gave me a fake smile and told me to come into his office. He shut the door and immediately got on my ass.

  “What the hell are you doing here, Kendra? I told you my wife’s best friend works here!” he snapped. I guessed the receptionist was his wife’s best friend.

  “Well, you wouldn’t answer any of my phone calls. How else w
as I supposed to get you to talk to me?” I said.

  “We have nothing to talk about, unless it concerns my daughter, and since she is twenty years old, there is nothing we have to discuss,” he said.

  “What you mean, we have nothing to discuss? You can’t just pretend like nothing ever happened between us recently,” I said.

  “What exactly happened between y’all recently?” Sharon said, startling both me and Tim.

  I hadn’t even heard the door open, and apparently, Tim hadn’t, either. I figured I might as well spill the beans to her, since she had shown up. I wasn’t expecting to tell her this way. I was just going to send her the video and call it a day, but this was going to be even better. Once I got done telling everything, I knew for sure she was going to leave his ass. I was tired of hiding this secret, and she should know exactly how her man felt about me. When Tim and I made love, he would tell me that he loved me and missed me, so I knew there were some feelings still there for me, and Mrs. Sharon should know.

  “Baby, I have no clue what’s she talking about, and I have no clue why she’s even here. I was just telling her that since our daughter is twenty, we no longer have anything to discuss as far as she is concerned,” he said nervously.

  “Tim, don’t try to stand there and play me. Tell your wife how you were practically staying at my house when you and her split up this last time. Oh, and tell her how you was fucking me and eating my pussy every night the entire time y’all was split up,” I said.

  “Baby, she is lying. You know I wouldn’t do that to you,” he said with a straight face.

  The receptionist came in just then. I guessed we had gotten too loud. “Sharon, so this must be that bitch who told Mo about Tim’s little secret,” she said, looking like she wanted to kill me.

  “Yeah, that’s her, but apparently, my husband still wants this bitch, because according to her, they are still fucking,” Sharon said, pissed as hell and looking like she wanted to beat my ass.