If I Can't Have You

by Dawn Jiles

  “I just want to be happy!” I shouted as tears streamed down my face. “Why does this girl want to hurt me?” I shouted again. I fell to the floor and cried my eyes out. My heart hurt so badly, and thoughts of killing myself swirled around in my head. I didn’t hear Corey when he came into our house. I just felt him shaking me, and that was when I realized what was going on.

  “Baby, what’s going on? Why are you lying on the floor, crying?” he asked.

  I didn’t say a word; I just handed him the phone.

  “Baby, I am so sorry you had to see this, but I am glad I told you before she did,” he said.

  Before Corey and I had got married, we decided to come clean about everything we had done so that there wouldn’t be any surprises once we said, “I do.” He had told me about Sam, I had told him about Tremaine, and we had moved past it. Even though he had told me about Sam, it still hurt to see him with her. I was more hurt by her actions. She did not care who she hurt, and she didn’t care that I was her sister. All she cared about was making sure I was miserable.

  “Why does this girl hate me so much?” I cried into my husband’s chest.

  “I don’t know, baby, but you can’t let her steal your happiness. You can’t let her break you. You have too many people who love you and care about you to let her do this to you,” he said, and he was right. I had had enough of her bullying, and it was time to put an end to all this shit. I stopped all that crying and pulled myself together.

  It was time to pay Miss Sam a much-needed visit.

  Bria

  David and I had been broken up for a while now, and I missed him like crazy. I knew he was at his office with Kevin and Corey right now, so I decided to stop by and pay him a visit so we could talk about some things. Last time we spoke, he had cursed me out about the DNA test on him that I had submitted without his knowledge. He was beyond pissed at me. In fact, I had never seen him that mad. I remembered the argument we had had.

  I was lying in my bedroom, browsing the Internet for an apartment, when David stormed in. “So, you tested me and my son without my permission?” he shouted.

  “Hi to you too, David. And yes, I tested you and your son to prove to your mother and your baby mother that Junior is definitely yours,” I said while I continued to browse the Internet.

  He slapped my computer on the floor and snatched my ass off my bed. “You don’t have shit to prove to either one of them. Your ass is becoming just as ignorant as Meka’s dumb ass. You better get your shit together, because I am tired of playing games with you, Bria. You better bring your ass home, or else I’m leaving your ass for good. Think it’s a game!” he said and then turned to leave. The way he was talking to me had me wet as hell.

  “David, I’m—” I wasn’t able to finish my sentence, because he stopped me.

  “Don’t say shit else to me! You heard what I said,” he said, and then he stomped out of the room. I heard him leave the house.

  I felt like shit, and he was right. I had not been acting any better than Meka’s tired ass. About a week later, I decided that it was time for us to make up and for me to return home. I would figure out a way to accept the baby situation and be happy with the love of my life. I made sure to wear a fitted sundress that hugged my body tightly. I wore my hair bone straight and applied a small amount of makeup to my face. I threw on some summer wedges and headed out the door. I had already packed my baby’s items and my stuff and had loaded them in my car.

  I got behind the wheel and headed to the mall. I parked my car and walked inside the mall, then headed straight for their office. I was looking and feeling good, and I was ready to see my love. I was about to enter his office when I heard a female’s voice on the other side of the door. Whoever she was, their little meeting was about to get broken up. I entered the office just as Meka leaned in and kissed David on the lips. He immediately pushed her away, but I didn’t know if it was because he saw me or he was rejecting her advances.

  “Meka, what the hell are you doing? Bria, baby, this isn’t what it looks like,” he said.

  Now, I was normally a strong woman, and I ordinarily would never let this bitch see me cry, but today I didn’t even care. The tears flowed freely from my ass, and my heart broke in two. I glanced at Meka. She sat back in her chair, with a smirk on her face and her arms crossed on her chest. I turned on my heels to leave the office, and David damn near pushed the desk over trying to get to me.

  “David, let that bitch leave. She doesn’t deserve you,” Meka shouted behind us.

  I stopped dead in my tracks. I turned around slowly and ran full speed toward her. I tackled her ass like I was a quarterback, and she went flying to the floor. I jumped on top of her and gave her blow after blow to her face. I felt someone lifting me off her, but I was in my zone. I tried to kill that bitch. When I finally looked up, David and Corey were holding me back, and Kevin was helping Meka off the floor. Her face was bloody, and her right eye had already begun to swell.

  “I can’t believe you let that ho put her hands on me like that, David!” Meka yelled.

  “Man, get that bitch out of here,” David said to Kevin.

  “Oh, so you are just going to treat me like I’m not shit!” Meka screamed as Kevin practically dragged her out the door.

  “You ain’t shit,” David yelled. He sat me down in a chair. “Baby, I am sorry, but you have to know that I didn’t kiss her. She kissed me,” he said.

  “I don’t even care, David. I thought I was going to come here and make everything good between us, but I now see that we just don’t belong together,” I said as I stood up to leave.

  “Baby, that’s not true. I will fix all this shit,” he said.

  “I’m done, David. I can’t live my life like this. I have a son to think about, and I can’t keep doing this shit,” I told him.

  “Baby, please.”

  “I love you and probably always will, but I am done,” I declared, then headed toward the door.

  “I’m not letting you go, Bria,” he said, grabbing my arm.

  I gave him the meanest look I could muster up, and he let me go. I ran out of his office and out to my car. Once I got inside the car, I cried like I had never cried before....

  Chapter Thirty-seven

  Meka

  I was so tired of that trick Bria putting her hands on me. This time she had overdone it. I wanted so badly to call the police on her and press charges, but I didn’t want to look like a scary bitch. I was terribly hurt about how David had treated me after the fight. I had been trying with everything in me to break them up, but nothing had seemed to work, until I became friends with David’s mother. I’d gone crying to her about how Bria was turning David against me and my son and all that bull, and she’d fallen for it. She thought Bria was the worst person in the world.

  What she didn’t know was that David and I had never really been in a serious relationship. David used to be somebody I would just fuck and get money from, but I had ended up falling deeply in love with him, and when he ended things with me, I had vowed to do whatever it took to get him back. I had been sleeping with his friend Mitch at the time, and when I ended up pregnant, I had had no clue which one fathered my baby, and I still didn’t. All I knew was that I wanted David, and I wanted to be a family with him. I also knew that David would take care of his child, like a man should. So, I had told him that he was the father, and I had been working on repairing our relationship.

  When I found out that Bria had left him the night his mom confronted her, I’d been as happy as ever. I had just known he would come running back to me, but he hadn’t. Bria had David’s ass whipped and lovesick. He didn’t want anybody but her. The day Bria and I fought, I had called David and told him we needed to discuss putting our son in day care. He had told me to come to his office to discuss it. I had made sure to put on a matching bra and panty set, and I had worn some tight-ass jeans, a fitted blouse, and some sexy red heels. I strutted into his office and sat down. I was insulted that he never
even glanced my way.

  Instead of talking about our son, I told him all the things I wanted to do to him. Through the window, I saw Bria walking into the office, so I knew I had to do something right away to piss her off. I knew my presence alone would make her mad, but I wanted to ruin her. That was when I leaned in for the kiss, hoping David would kiss me back. When he pushed me off him and I saw the look on her face, I knew they were over. She began to cry, and I wanted to laugh so hard, but instead, I just sat back and smirked.

  After the fight, I drove straight to David’s mom’s house. I rang her doorbell, and when she opened the door, I fell into her arms and cried hysterically.

  “Meka, sweetie, what’s wrong?” she asked.

  “Bria attacked me, and David just let her,” I said as I pulled out of her embrace so that she could see my face. I wanted her to hate Bria and to never want to deal with her again. That was why I lied to her about Bria.

  “Why would she do such a thing?” she said.

  “She saw David and me kissing, and she just lost her mind after that,” I explained and forced myself to cry harder.

  “Oh, God. She just can’t stand the fact that my son chose to be with you instead of her,” she said.

  “Everything was fine between David and me until she showed up. Now he acts like he doesn’t even know me,” I cried.

  “You hush now, baby. I’m going to fix all this mess right away,” she said as she wrapped her arms around me tightly. My job was done, and once I got done with Bria, David and his entire family were going to hate her. Wait and see.

  Zoe

  We hadn’t heard anything from Imani since that day I had Kevin change his number, so I guessed that was a good thing. Nonetheless, things between Kevin and me had been very bad. We had been arguing all the time, and now I was even more insecure. I questioned him every time he left our house, and if he was gone too long, that turned into an argument. I still hadn’t told him that I was pregnant, but I planned to do so today. Things had to change, because I was under too much stress, and my relationship was suffering to the point that I felt like Kevin was going to leave me at any moment if I didn’t get it together.

  I cooked a nice dinner for us this evening and created a romantic atmosphere by lighting candles in the dining room and creating a path of rose petals that led to our bedroom and bathroom. Kevin worked all day and took good care of us. The least I could do was make sure he came home to a clean house and a good hot meal. I had decided I was going to let go of every negative thing that had tried to tear us apart, even my foolishness, and would love my man like he deserved to be loved.

  He walked in, with this stressed look on his face. It changed once he saw all the lit candles and the rose petals. “To what do I owe this surprise?” he said, with the biggest smile on his face.

  “I just wanted to do something nice for you, baby. I miss the once happy relationship we had, and I just want to get that back,” I told him.

  “Well, since we are on the subject of our relationship, I have something we need to talk about.”

  “Okay. What’s up?” I said. I was very nervous because I automatically thought he was going to break up with me due to all the drama I had been causing in our relationship.

  “Listen, Zoe, I love you with all my heart, but I cannot live with all your insecurities and you constantly accusing me of cheating on you. If you want things to work with you and me, that has to end today. Otherwise, we are not going to make it. I’m not giving up on us. I’m just letting you know that if you continue with this mess, you are going to push me away,” he said.

  “Baby, I am sorry, and I already realize that. That is why I am making efforts to change and be a better girlfriend and mother,” I told him.

  “What do you mean, mother? You having my baby or something?” he asked, then walked up to me and kissed me on the lips. I hadn’t realized I said something about a baby.

  “Do you think I’m pregnant?” I said, smiling at him.

  “You just said you are going to be a better girlfriend and mother, so what’s all that about?” he replied, wrapping his hands around my waist. Then he began to rub my belly. I looked into my man’s eyes, and I saw how much love he had for me and how true he really was to me, and at that very moment, all my insecurities left me.

  “I am three months now, and our baby will be born in early December,” I said, happy to finally tell him the news.

  “Baby, I’m so happy. I can’t wait to meet my son,” he said, now kissing my belly.

  I laughed at him, and his excitement made me more excited. “How do you know it’s a boy? It could be a girl.”

  “Whatever we’re having, I’ll be happy either way,” he said.

  That night we were finally able to relax, and for the first time in a long time, I felt complete, and I knew everything was going to be good.

  Monique

  I had decided that today would be the day I confronted Sam about her bull. I parked my car on the street, then walked up to her house and rang the doorbell. Moments later, I heard fumbling, and Tremaine opened the door. He was holding my nephew, and this was the first time I had ever seen him. He looked just like Tremaine and my dad, and he was so handsome.

  “Hello, Tremaine. Is this my little nephew?” I said as I walked inside. I reached out to take my nephew.

  “Yes, this is him,” he said, passing the baby to me.

  “I’m here to talk to Sam. Is she here?” I asked as I played with my nephew. I felt a strong connection with this little guy, even though this was my first time meeting him. I wanted to spend more time with him, but we all knew how silly his mother was.

  “Yes, she’s here. Uh, Mo, I just want to apologize for everything and at least be cordial for my son and Sam’s sake,” he said.

  “I want the same thing, Tremaine, but I am not the one you should be talking to. Sam is the one who seems to have the problem,” I told him.

  As soon as those words left my mouth, Sam came strutting into the foyer. I could tell she was not expecting to see me. She rushed over to me and grabbed her son out of my arms. “What the hell are you doing here?” she asked with an attitude.

  “I need to speak with you,” I responded, keeping my cool.

  “Well, talk,” she said.

  “Not in front of my nephew.” I already knew things would get heated, because Sam didn’t know how to act.

  She handed the baby to his father, and Tremaine carried him toward the back of the house.

  “Sam, we are sisters, so I can’t understand for the life of me why you continue to try to do things that hurt me. I haven’t done anything but be good to you and give you chance after chance, and you still find a way to betray me. What is your problem with me?” I said.

  “I don’t know what you are talking about. I don’t have a problem with you,”

  “Look, Sam, I am really trying to fix things between you and me,” I said seriously.

  “You know what? I am going to be real with you. My problem is you take everything that belongs to me,” she said.

  “What have I ever taken that belonged to you, Samariah?” I asked.

  “For starters, you stole Corey from me, and you stole my father from me. You had the childhood I was supposed to have, but I couldn’t, because you and your mom took that away from me.”

  I knew then that things would not get better between us, and that they might even get worse, but I continued to try to work it out. “Sam, you can’t blame me for something our dad chose to do. I found out at the same time that you did that we are sisters. I love you, Sam. I don’t hate you. And I just want to see you happy,” I said. “You need to stop with all this mess and let that shit go. And as far as Corey is concerned, he was never yours. You knew how much I wanted Corey, and you slept with him and didn’t tell me until Corey and I were in a relationship. And the way you told me was even worse. You told me the night of my engagement party, in front of everybody. I still forgave you and tried to move on, but you were
still playing games. I am trying to fix things now, but you need to let go.”

  She stood there, quiet, for a while, like she was contemplating what I had said. Finally, she spoke. “Forget what you’re talking about. I don’t want to hear shit you have to say.”

  “I have one last thing to say, because I don’t have time to go through the long list of bull you have done, but I will start with the shit you just pulled last week,” I said, pulling out my phone. I showed her the video.

  “So, why do you assume that I sent you this?” she smirked.

  I chuckled at her ignorant self. “You sent it, but that shit backfired, because Corey had already told me what went down between you and him,” I said.

  “Well, if you knew already, then why are you still here?” she asked.

  “I’m here because I was hoping that we could end whatever this is that we’ve got going on, but I now see that you are too ignorant to do that. I’m just going to let you know that I’m on to your ass now, and we are going to have some real problems the next time you come for me, because I am sick of your shit,” I yelled.

  “Well, I am sick of your existence. You think you are the shit, but I’ve got something for your ass,” she said.

  “I am the shit, and I guess that’s why your silly ass is mad, but I don’t have time for your shit. I said all that I had to say to you,” I responded.

  Tremaine walked back into the foyer. “Hey, ladies. Keep your voices down. Little Tremaine can hear you.”

  “Get out of my house. And how the hell did you know where I am staying?” Sam said.

  “I’ll gladly leave. And I knew where you were because I used to fuck your man, or did you forget that? We fucked all over this house, and the last time we fucked, it was on that very same couch right there,” I said and pointed. “The least he could have done was get y’all a new place,” I added and then turned to leave.