Bringing It Home (Up-Ending Tad: A Journey of Erotic Discovery Book 5)

by Kora Knight

  “Things really turned around for you. That’s awesome.” Tad’s thumb resumed its back and forth glide. “So, you’ve been living here with Max all this time?”

  “No. We started out in his apartment. He worked a day job and did… um… house calls at night.”

  “House calls?”

  Scott smirked. “He didn’t always have his own personal playroom. Back then, his dungeon was portable.”

  “Oh.”

  “But once we were both making steady paychecks, he suggested we buy a place. One with a basement.”

  “Ah. The setup you’ve got going now.”

  Scott nodded. “Worked out really well. Shit, in the first six months, Max’s clientele doubled.”

  Tad chuckled. “Holy crap.”

  “Right? Guess it makes sense, living in such a densely populated area. But man, it was like they were coming out of the woodwork.”

  Tad thought about the implications of that. “Is that why you learned to do that stuff, too? So you could help Max out with the influx?”

  “Uh....” Scott made a face and rubbed his brow. “Not exactly. By that point, I already knew quite a bit.”

  Tad’s thumb paused a second time. “You did? But… how?”

  Scott stared straight ahead. “I’d been using it as a kind of therapy.”

  “Therapy? I don’t understand.”

  Scott sighed and closed his eyes. “Like I said, in the beginning I was pretty messed up. In every conceivable way. Trashed self-esteem. Debilitating guilt. Was always high, never ate, barely took care of myself. Guess I thought I didn’t deserve it. Shit, even my asshole boyfriends were another form of self-imposed punishment.”

  Tad listened quietly, trying to connect the dots.

  “Max got the picture fairly quickly and tried to make me see reason. That none of it was ever my fault. But my head just couldn’t accept it. It was like I had some intrinsic need to pay for all my sins. Do penance or something. I dunno.

  “I guess after a few months, he just couldn’t take it, because he finally broke down and made a suggestion. That instead of doing drugs and shit, I try a different kind of… release.”

  “Release?” Fuck. Here we go. Max used to get his leather daddy freak on with Scott.

  His voice must’ve cracked because Scott looked at him and grinned. “Not that kind of release. The services Doms provide span a pretty broad spectrum, and don’t always end in orgasm. What Max offered me was a safe, controlled environment where I could release some pressure from my “inner relief valve” in a way that didn’t involve drugs.”

  A totally unorthodox concept, but Tad was determined to keep an open mind. “So… what all did he do to you?”

  Scott shrugged. “Different forms of pain infliction.”

  Tad’s whole body tensed.

  “Relax,” Scott laughed. “Nothing extreme. Just the typical stuff. Clamps, whips, that kind of thing. He was trying to help me, Tad. Not traumatize me.”

  Max’s words in the kitchen slid back into Tad’s brain: “It took me a long fucking time to fix him.” No wonder the guy was so protective. He’d not only seen Scott in his darkest hours, but had been the one to coax him off the ledge. To steer him off his path to self-destruction. Granted, he’d done it in one crazy-ass way, but screw it, the madness worked.

  Shifting against the wall, Tad cleared his throat. “So, all that pain business helped?”

  “God, yes,” Scott exhaled. “The weight it lifted… off my shoulders, off my soul…” He shook his head. “It’s hard to explain. All I know is, it purged my demons so I could finally let go of the guilt. I quit doing drugs and dating dicks, and started setting goals. Stopped dwelling on the past and started living in the present.”

  Tad smiled. There was a genuine kind of peace in Scott’s tone. One that Max had given him. How could he possibly begrudge the guy for that? He couldn’t.

  “I’m glad he was able to help you.”

  Scott’s warm hand settled on Tad’s thigh. “Yeah,” he murmured. “You and me both. But that’s why I was already pretty well versed when he ended up needing my help. Just had to brush up on the sexual aspects. Used to hit the observation room every now and then, just to kinda watch and learn.”

  Huh.

  “So, Max never got you off?”

  Scott’s expression turned sheepish. “I might’ve lost a load or two, but never intentionally. Just random times, when that place in headspace just kinda, I dunno, snuck up on me.”

  Suddenly, Tad didn’t feel so good.

  As if sensing his need for reassurance, Scott turned and met his eyes. “There was never anything sexual between us, Tad. Hell, on those rare occasions when I did bust a nut? Max laughed his ass off and called it a learning experience.” His lips curved smugly. “Something you fully benefited from that very first night we met.”

  Tad’s cheeks flared hot at the mention of his flogging. “Yeah,” he chuckled, glancing away. “Coming from the receiving end, I’d say he taught you well.”

  “Mm.”

  But then he remembered something from earlier. “That favor Max needed. The one you couldn’t do. Was it to cover another shift?”

  Scott’s grin faded. “Yes and no… But mostly yes.”

  “And that means what?”

  “He wants me to cover a client… But not just once. On a regular basis.” Shaking his head, he looked straight ahead. “He wants to assign me to Sean.”

  Tad’s mouth fell open as memories from last night all but bum-rushed his brain. Of Scott getting way too friendly with the guy. Smiling. Hugging. Hand-feeding him shots. Shit, they’d damn near almost danced. Muscles tense, Tad fought not to freak. But just the simple concept of Max’s request made him downright mental.

  “But… why would Max want that? I thought Sean was his favorite.”

  Scott sighed in exasperation. “Apparently, Sean’s starting to want something more, but Max “doesn’t have the time.” Said I’m the only one he trusts with the kid. But I think he’s full of shit. Dodging or something. Not that it matters. Because even if I wanted to help, I couldn’t pull it off. I mean, yeah, I like to Dom for fun. Get down with my inner perv. But I could never do that kinda thing full-time. Not like others can. My brain’s just not wired for that kind of lifestyle. Which is why I brought up Kai.”

  Tad stilled. “Kai? What’s he got to do with anything?”

  “It’s what I’d been talking to him about at the gym. Taking my place to fill in for Max. I don’t want to do it anymore. At all. And since Kai does that stuff on the side, I asked him if he’d be interested.”

  Holy shit. That’s what Scott’s proposition had been about? Tad’s insides churned thick with the worst kind of guilt. Of all the things he’d imagined, none had been as innocent as the truth. Man, he was such a hypocrite. Bitching about wanting the benefit of a doubt when he hadn’t given it to Scott, either.

  Ashamed, he forced out some really tough words. “I’m sorry, Scott. That stuff with you and Kai… I assumed it was something different. Which made all that stuff at the bar last night look a whole lot worse.” He shook his head. “Fuck, dude. Just the thought of you with him was making me lose it.”

  “It’s okay. I probably should’ve told you, anyway. Guess I just didn’t wanna jinx it. Not that any of it matters now. Max is completely uninterested in his help. Which sucks for him, because I’m still not doing it. Any of it.”

  A huge weight lifted off Tad’s chest. God, those words were like music to his soul. Strengthening his resolve to see things through.

  Inhaling deep, he looked at their hands, each atop the other’s thigh. “Listen. About last night. Hell, even before. I went about things all fucking wrong. You deserved better and I’m sorry.”

  When Scott didn’t reply, he glanced up, only to find the guy eyeing him. Dubiously. Which, yeah, he totally deserved.

  “What exactly are you apologizing for?”

  “Uh… For being an all-around, total frea
king idiot?”

  “Mm. That’s still pretty vague.”

  Shit, Tad was so not good at this crap. But the man deserved an answer.

  Pursing his lips, he looked back down. “I’m sorry for not being able to see the truth. About myself. And my friends. And everything concerning you.” His hand left Scott’s leg to trace the guy’s fingers where they splayed atop Tad’s thigh. “I’ve always known I was kinda different… Guess I just kept telling myself that everyone had their quirks. But, fuck, I dunno, maybe I was subconsciously choosing denial.”

  He shook his head. “But there was never any uncertainty regarding my friends. They’ve always been bottom-line great guys. With great hearts. Who’d never think less of me, or kick me to the curb, just because I was… gay.”

  Scott sighed. “It’s not a bad word, Tad. Or a bad way to be.”

  “No, I know.” He nodded quickly. “And my friends know that, too. So, it wasn’t fair to put so much emphasis on them. To use them as scapegoats just to buy me more time.”

  He forced himself to meet Scott’s gaze. “But it’s the stuff with you I’m sorry about most. I should’ve been able to do the math. Because right from the start, I knew you were amazing. Worth every ounce of my energy, every second of my time. I mean, fuck…” He paused for a second to organize his thoughts. “You give me a kind of happy I never knew existed. You make me wanna be brave. And bold. Hell, you make me wanna be me.”

  His eyes dropped back to their hands. “So why couldn’t I see that the other shit didn’t matter? That, as long as I had you, things would ultimately be okay?” He raked his free hand through his hair. “God, I’ve been obsessing over all the wrong things. Am I gay or am I not. Will my friends freak out or will they be cool. Will everything change or can life go on as usual.” He choked out a humorless laugh. “When all along, what I should’ve been worried about … was how to make you mine.”

  Again, Scott didn’t reply right away. “I wanna believe that,” he finally murmured. “More than you’ll ever know. But—”

  “I told them,” Tad blurted out. “I told them all. My friends and my family, too.”

  Scott stilled. “You did?”

  “Yeah. Earlier this afternoon.”

  “Wow. And… how’d they react?”

  Tad shrugged stiffly. “My parents were kinda taken off guard. Pretty sure my dad’s still digesting. But for the most part, my mom was accepting.”

  A glimmer of sadness flickered in Scott’s eyes, as if maybe thinking about his own mom. “And your friends? Were they accepting, too?”

  Tad pursed his lips. “Those asshats were barely even fazed.”

  A big, fat grin spread across Scott’s face. “Seriously?”

  “Yeah,” Tad muttered. “Jay, evidently, did some investigating. And Ned and Breck made bets. Fucking bets. And not even on whether or not I was gay, but how long it’d take me to score dick.” A soft groan rose up his throat. “Turns out they’ve pretty much suspected since high school.”

  Scott muffled a snort. Then flat-out laughed. “Shit. That’s too fucking funny.”

  Tad fought back a smile. “Shut up. I feel like a moron.”

  “Nah.” Scott grinned, test-squeezing his arm. “You feel all right to me.”

  Tad chuckled and rolled his eyes. “Jackass.”

  Scott smiled wider, but quickly sobered. “Listen, Tad. I’m glad you got things out in the open. Hopefully it lifted a lot off your shoulders.”

  “It has.”

  He nodded. “Good. That’s awesome. But the thing is…” His exhale sounded exceptionally heavy. “Telling your friends is only the start. You gotta be able to live this thing. And not just behind closed doors. In front of the world. Where everyone can see.”

  Tad’s reply came loaded with conviction. “I know, dude. I get it. I seriously do. I mean, sure, it’ll be awkward at first, but I don’t care. Don’t care about any of that stuff anymore.”

  Scott smirked. “Say that in the middle of a room full of people.”

  “Shit. I’ll do even better.” Tad pulled out his cell phone and got busy firing it up. “How many followers do you have on Instagram?” Scott lifted a brow. “Meh,” he murmured. “Doesn’t really matter.” In seconds, he was up and straddling the guy’s lap, his arm out, centering them on his screen. “Kiss me.” He grinned. “Time to document this shit.”

  Looking more than a little surprised, Scott chuckled and shook his head. “Guess that’s one way of doing it.”

  Tad’s smile grew bigger. Then so did Scott’s. Leaning in, he pulled Tad close and brought their lips together.

  One picture.

  Two pictures.

  Then, fuck it, a couple more.

  Tad dropped his arm with a growl. The selfie was taken, but he was hardly done. And, apparently, neither was Scott. Wrapping his arms tighter around Tad’s torso, he amped up their kiss to scorching. Tad moaned at the rush. God, Scott’s mouth was effing incredible, stealing his lucidity with those lips. Lips that seemed to defy all laws of physics. Seriously, how could they be so soft, yet so damn firm and demanding? And that tongue. Tasting just as good as it teased. Lingering Pepsi mixed with promise. The cool little combo had his dick swelling fast.

  Scott chuckled and pulled away. “Not so fast, babe. You’re not out of the woods yet.”

  Tad’s dazed eyes peeled opened. “But—”

  “Nope. Got one more thing you gotta do.”

  “What… post the pics? ‘Cause that shit only takes a sec.” Phone still in hand, he got back to thumbing.

  Scott laughed and took it away. “No.”

  But Tad was fast and had already finished the job. In seconds, their kiss would be out and about, tearing up social media. Meeting Scott’s gaze, he frowned. “Well, if not that, then what?”

  The big guy’s grin turned downright salacious. “Something a bit more involved.”

  Ah, hell. Tad’s cock shot hard as rock. He knew that look. Scott had plans. Decadent ones. Which made him nervous… and really freaking horny. Not that it mattered. He’d already resolved to do what it took to prove he was totally invested.

  “Alright,” he agreed, shifting atop Scott’s lap. “What do I gotta do?”

  That chocolate gaze intensified, a bonfire blazing in their depths. “Foreplay and sex. Right here, right now. Face-to-face with eyes wide open.”

  Tad tensed. He’d been good with Scott’s conditions until the dude said face-to-face. Then shit went downhill fast. Literally felt all the blood drain from his head. Face-to-face fucking was not going to be easy. Especially knowing Scott. He’d shove Tad out of his comfort zone in five seconds flat.

  Tad swallowed hard. They were about to enter into the kind of territory that made Tuesday’s milestones look like child’s play. Great. His cheeks were already heating.

  Clearing his throat, he gave a tight nod. “Um, okay. But remember, I haven’t really—”

  Scott’s mouth crushed to his with a soft, husky laugh, his thick arms squeezing Tad tight. “Don’t worry, shy boy. I promise to show you everything you need to know.”

  Way too effortlessly, he lifted them to their feet. “But first, a couple ground rules.” Sliding his warm hands under Tad’s shirt, he slowly eased it up. “No questioning my methods.” Tad lifted his arms and Scott pulled the thing off. “No doubting my intentions.” Eyes flashing, he backed Tad into the bed. “And, of course, continued compliance.”

  Tad’s heart raced faster. Scott just grinned and reached for his fly. Every muscle tensed. Shit, he needed to control his breathing. To start panting now would be totally pathetic. Pop went his button, followed by a zzzzzip. His lungs sucked in sharply of their own accord. Oh, fuck. Scott was going to grab his—

  “Uuuhhhh,” he moaned, lids sliding shut.

  “Uh-uh-uh. Eyes on me.” Strong fingers gave his cock a squeeze.

  Tad’s gaze shot back open. “O-Okay.”

  “Hmm. Maybe we should do a test run.”

 
“A— A what?”

  Scott started to pump. “A. Test. Run.”

  Ohhh, hell. That felt good.

  Tad shifted his weight, hands gripping the dude’s hips. “Damn,” he murmured. “Testing me already?”

  “Shit,” Scott chuckled. “This ain’t nothing.” Grin turning wicked, he increased his speed.

  Ohhhh, fuck yeah…

  Tad’s lashes fluttered, pleasure steadily climbing. Scott watching him only fueled the fire faster. Not that the guy’s stare didn’t always get him going, but this observing biz was straight-up kinky. Definitely a whole new kind of hot.

  Tad’s knees nearly gave when Scott’s thumb stroked his crown. Jerking, he let out a breathy curse. Scott mmm’d and did it a couple more times, making Tad growl, and his muscles twitch.

  Chuckling, Scott got back on track. “Of course, there’s the rule of no coming before I say. But you’re pretty versed with that one.” More firm-grip pumping, up and down.

  Tad sucked in a breath. Then another. And another. Yeah, so much for not panting. He couldn’t help it, though. Already, Scott’s jacking had him fighting not to blow. “Dude,” he hitched, eyes trying to close. “I hate that fucking rule.”

  Scott grinned and pulled free. “Tough shit.” Gripping Tad’s belt loops, he tugged him against his chest. “And no more calling me dude.”

  Tad blinked from his haze. “Wait, what? No ‘dude’?” He scrunched his brows unhappily. “But dude!”

  “Suck it up,” Scott laughed. “And speaking of sucking… I do believe it’s time for your lessons.”

  Tad froze. Oh, fuck. Looked like blowjobs were first on the docket. His heart shot up into his throat. Shit, shit, shit. But he didn’t know how. He’d never even gone down on a chick before. His imagination instantly envisioned the worst. But before he could say a single word, Scott shoved him onto the bed. Stiff as a board, he bounced on the mattress, knees bent over the edge.

  Again, Scott laughed, shaking his head. “Relax, babe. Jesus. You should see your face. I told you I’d show you the ropes.”

  Pulling out his phone, he thumbed at its screen while heading to his nightstand to dock it. Ed Sheeran’s “Bloodstream” swiftly filled the space. Oh, yeah. One of Tad’s all-time favorites. His racing heart eased up a smidge. Until, that is, Scott came back over. Because, damn it, that smile was nothing but trouble.