Patchwork Dreams

by Laura Hilton

  This explained so much.

  She pulled her hand out from under his and got up from the table. “I’ll understand if you don’t want to court me. Annie is a much better choice.” Her voice wobbled.

  And, with a muffled sob, she hurried toward the door.

  Jacob sprang to his feet and ran after her, not paying any attention to the chair that crashed to the floor behind him. “Bex, wait!” He grasped her arm and pulled her backward against his chest. Her shoulders shook. Wrapping his arms around her, he moved toward a different chair. He sat down and pulled her into his lap, letting their tears mingle as they soaked his shirt.

  Probably not his brightest action. But he wasn’t about to shove her off. Instead, he snuggled her nearer. He needed to hold her, to offer what comfort he could give, while he searched for the words to say.

  A floorboard creaked. Jacob looked toward the doorway. His heart pounded.

  Chapter 29

  Everything alright in here?” Daed’s voice broke into the stillness. He sounded hesitant, like he knew he shouldn’t be peeking in on a courting couple—not that she and Jacob were courting.

  Ach! Caught in this compromising position. Her face heating, Becky squirmed out of Jacob’s lap and, without looking at him, went to pick up the chair he’d knocked over.

  Daed stood in the doorway. “I heard a crash and came down to check it out. Didn’t realize….” His face colored.

  Jacob stood. “We were just talking. I thought maybe I should hear the story about what happened between her and—and that Englischer.”

  Daed nodded, then backed up.

  Jacob shook his head. “Nein. Stay. We need to talk with you about this. I made enough hot chocolate. Would you like some?” He moved to the stove.

  For a second, Daed looked as if he thought he hadn’t heard right. Becky remembered her own similar reaction.

  “Nein, I wouldn’t want to intrude.”

  But he already had. Becky stared at a scuff mark on the floor. And she had no idea what might have happened if she’d stayed on Jacob’s lap. They might have kissed, if his lip wasn’t too sore. But that moment was forever gone.

  She heard Jacob draw in a sharp breath. “She was raped.”

  Ach, there was nothing like Jacob’s bluntness. Hadn’t the man ever heard of tact?

  She didn’t have to look up to know that the color had washed out of Daed’s face. He collapsed into a chair.

  And that word—that ugly word—had Jacob just used it in relation to her? He couldn’t have. She hadn’t been raped. It was her fault—she was the one who’d agreed to date an Englischer.

  “Nein,” Daed whispered. He shut his eyes. After a moment, he opened them wide and shook his head. “We need to get her to the hospital.”

  “Not tonight, Daniel.” Jacob set a mug in front of Daed. “When she conceived Emma.”

  Daed straightened and glanced at Becky, his gaze softening. “Ach, Becky.” His eyes filled with tears. “I didn’t know. We didn’t know. Things would have been so different.” He shook his head again, and his gaze hardened as he looked back at Jacob. “How do you know this?”

  Becky frowned. How dare they talk about her as if she wasn’t there? She glared at Jacob. “It wasn’t—”

  He silenced her with a look. “It was. You said you told him nein, and he did it anyway. That is rape.”

  “But he is Englisch.”

  Jacob shook his head. “That is an Englisch law.”

  An Englisch law? Did Jacob mean that she had broken the law? Did the Englisch really have laws about such private matters? Her knees buckled. She swayed and grasped the table for support, then reached for a chair, instead. Maybe if she sat down….

  Becky missed the chair and fell, her left elbow banging the back of it on her way down. She landed on the floor, and her bruised hip took the brunt of the impact. She bit her lip to keep from crying out, then grasped her throbbing arm.

  Jacob instantly crouched beside her. “You okay, Bex?”

  For a moment, she considered waving him away and just staying on the floor. It would be so much easier not to have to move, judging by the pain radiating from her already bruised body. She swallowed. “I’m fine. Just missed the chair, is all.” She scrambled to her feet, ignoring his outstretched hand.

  “You could have told us, Becky.” Daed’s hand smoothed his blond beard, his gaze accusing. “We would have understood. You know that. I’ve been supportive of you all the way through this.”

  Jah, he had been supportive. But how could she have told them something she was too ashamed to admit to herself?

  A cry from upstairs kept her from commenting.

  She glanced at Jacob. Now that he knew the truth, rejection would surely follow.

  But she wanted him to state his undying devotion to her. Fighting tears, Becky whirled and hurried from the room as fast as her sore legs would carry her.

  ***

  Jacob watched her go, wishing that Daniel hadn’t interrupted and that Becky was still sitting on his lap. But then, they wouldn’t have had the previous conversation, and Daniel needed to know.

  Daniel sat and stared into his cup of hot chocolate, just as Jacob had seen him do with a cup of coffee when he was stressed or thinking of a response. He’d hated to bother his cousin, but this truth needed to be told. Becky deserved nothing less than that.

  After a few moments, Daniel reached for the cup and took a sip. A look of disgust crossed his face, and he put the mug down again. “Becky didn’t make this.” It wasn’t a question.

  Jacob considered his own mug. Cocoa and hot water—weren’t those the main ingredients? Maybe he should have read the directions. But he’d wanted to have a hot drink ready for Becky, even though she hadn’t touched hers. Probably a good thing. He took a cautious sip and almost spit it out. Ugh. It really was nasty.

  “If Becky didn’t say…rape, then how did you find this out?” Daniel got up and dumped the contents of his and Becky’s cups into the sink and then rinsed the mugs.

  “The way both she and that Englischer worded it when I talked to them individually about it.”

  Daniel nodded and turned toward him. His lips still curved down, and there was no trace of light in his eyes. Jacob hated being the one who’d erased the smile.

  “I will be having a talk with the bishop about this. With a year gone by, I’m not sure how he’s going to want to handle telling the people. He may tell the truth, or he may decide to leave things as they are. He might say that there’s no point in upsetting the apple cart.”

  As far as Jacob was concerned, this apple cart needed upsetting. The church needed to apologize to Becky for shunning her, for treating her as an outcast. For not coming alongside her and helping.

  “I would imagine something will be said, though.” Daniel pursed his lips, his gaze remaining thoughtful.

  “One more thing.” Jacob frowned at his still full mug, searching for some measure of courage. “You and Daed. Did you work this out in advance to get me away from Susie? Hoping that I would fall in love with Becky, maybe?” He hated asking. It put everything he’d been taught about confidentiality in courtship to shame. But then, everything was pretty much out in the open, anyway. Might as well lay it out there and see what Daniel had to say.

  Daniel hesitated. Even got up and poured a glass of milk, taking the time to sip it slowly. Finally, he came back to the table and sat down, shaking his head. “Nein. Your daed didn’t say much of anything. He did mention that he thought you were on the verge of making a serious mistake, so he was signing you up for the swap of Amish buwe. He wanted you to kum down in hopes that you would see the error of your ways. He didn’t say what the ‘serious mistake’ might be.”

  Jacob nodded.

  “Your attraction to my Becky, though…that was pretty plain.” Daniel took another sip of milk and swallowed. “Most young men shy away, knowing Becky’s history, and that she is part of a twosome, having a daughter already.”

  �
��I know now is not the time, especially considering what she just said. But, when the time arrives—if it arrives—do I need to talk to the bishop first before approaching Becky about marriage?” At home, the bishop wanted to be approached first, and then he would talk to the girl, preparing the way. Would it be the same here?

  Daniel hesitated, then reiterated a reminder. “Becky has a boppli. You’d be an instant daed.”

  “Jah.” He’d thought of that. Looked forward to it. Emma, and more boppli in God’s time.

  Daniel nodded. “Then, you talk to the bishop first. He likes to be kept informed. And he’ll require you to go through instruction and join the church before you are published. Always there’s plenty to do before a wedding. We’ll plan for December, jah?” Daniel grinned and slapped Jacob’s back, as though the matter was settled.

  Maybe it was—at least as far as the two of them were concerned.

  A December wedding. It sounded good to him. Now, to convince Becky. To win her heart.

  Could he recruit her friend Annie to help him?

  ***

  After the church service, Becky helped the other women set out food for the meal. She hurried to slice the pies and cakes and arrange the cookies that had been brought for the noon potluck. Annie joined her, armed with knives and pie servers.

  Becky didn’t feel very social. She’d had a rough night, tossing and turning, reliving every moment of the evening’s conversation with Jacob and Daed. She muttered a greeting to Annie, then looked down, carefully cutting into a chocolate cream pie that Mary Zook had made. Right now, Becky just wanted to grab a fork and eat the whole thing. Maybe it would make her feel better.

  “You’re quiet today. Something wrong?” Annie rearranged the desserts so that they were placed alphabetically—cakes, cobblers, cookies, and then pies. Like anyone would notice. Or care.

  “Bothered by thoughts last night. Running into…well, you know.” She hadn’t meant to spill it out like that. Jacob’s bluntness must have affected her.

  Annie nodded. “Jah. Did Jacob demand answers?”

  “Not ‘demand’ so much as ask for them.”

  A soft laugh escaped Annie’s lips. “Of course. He needed to know.”

  Becky turned the chocolate cream pie tin in a circle, studying it from all directions. Maybe nobody would miss it if she took it and disappeared. There were a lot of desserts.

  “He is gut-looking. And if it weren’t for you, I’d definitely be interested. But, Becky, Jacob sees only you. When are you going to realize this?”

  Becky turned the pie in another circle without answering. That chocolate pie was hers, all hers. She could almost taste it.

  Annie groaned. “Don’t look now, but….” She shivered. “I’ve got to go. You, too. Run.” With that, Annie twirled and hurried toward the house.

  That Annie was too dramatic. Or maybe not. Becky peeked over her shoulder to see Amos Kropf approaching at a fast clip.

  “Rebekah. Kum, take a walk. I want to talk with you.”

  Chapter 30

  Jacob and Matthew made their way toward the long tables laden with food for the noon meal—homemade bread, cold meats, salads, vegetables, and more. Jacob’s stomach rumbled just looking at the spread.

  Men always went through the line first, while the women and children waited, but they never seemed to mind. Jacob smiled as he remembered Mamm saying that she always sampled the food while she set it out. So, in reality, the women ate before the men. Jacob scanned the group of women but didn’t see Becky.

  Then, a movement caught his eye, and he looked at the field beyond the blacksmith shop. Becky walked that way with a man who grasped her upper arm. She didn’t seem to be resisting.

  For a second, Jacob felt as if his heart had been physically ripped from his body. He stared at the couple. No wonder she’d rebuffed his efforts. She had a beau that neither he nor Daniel knew anything about.

  Unless it was the bishop. Daniel had said he would talk to him, but Jacob had figured it would be on Monday. Sunday wasn’t a day for business. But another glance at the food table revealed the bishop filling his plate at the head of the line. The other ministers were lined up behind him.

  Could it be Amos Kropf? Jacob scanned the crowd. He wasn’t certain, but the man talking with Daniel looked like Amos. Considering how much the man had visited Daniel recently, it seemed to Jacob that they would be all talked out.

  Jacob sighed. After one last look, he turned his back on Becky and her beau. He didn’t want to see them or witness any more of their tryst. She’d made her choice. And, clearly, Jacob didn’t factor in. She must have laughed to realize that she had Daniel and Jacob completely fooled. And that she’d won his heart.

  No wonder she hadn’t agreed to let him court her.

  But why couldn’t she have simply explained that she was seeing someone else? She wouldn’t have had to say who.

  Matthew nudged his arm and said something. Jacob nodded automatically, though he had no idea what his friend had said.

  He stared at the spread before him, wondering how he could force a bite down. How could he have completely ignored all the ways in which Becky had told him she wasn’t interested?

  Looking back, he could see it all so clearly now.

  Matthew speared a slice of roast beef with a fork and slid it onto his plate. “Isn’t that your Becky?” He nodded with his chin toward the field.

  Jacob didn’t want to look, but he couldn’t keep his eyes from going in that direction. Becky and her beau walked farther out into the field. “It would appear that she’s not my Becky.”

  Matthew bumped Jacob’s shoulder with one fist. “You deserve better.”

  Jah. Maybe so. But that was no consolation.

  ***

  Becky tried to disengage herself from Amos’s grip, but he didn’t seem inclined to let go. Even a sharp jerk of her arm failed to dislodge his hand. She would probably have more bruises to match her hip by nightfall.

  All the way into the field, Amos expounded on the many failures of one Jacob Miller from Pennsylvania. He’d been seen fighting with the Englisch, as well as riding a bicycle through Seymour. That was clearly against the Ordnung for this district. He’d gone to at least one party. Maybe more. The unmarried girls were all tittering about him.

  But causing girls to titter wasn’t a sin.

  Just fact.

  “Besides which, this newcomer seems to have no practical skills,” Amos continued. “Why else would Daniel spend so much time teaching him blacksmithing?” He grunted in disgust.

  Becky studied the clouds in the sky. “Daed said that Jacob was ser gut.”

  Amos ignored her. “And that’s not all. I just heard from some kin back in Pennsylvania, and they told me that Jacob Miller was trouble. He’d been associating with the Mennonites, and he courted a girl who wore Englisch clothing. And he got into several fights. Even got hauled into the police station once.” Amos shuddered. “I even heard that he owns and operates a motorcycle. Keeps it behind his daed’s barn. No wonder they sent him down here. The boy is trouble.” He nodded. “Jah, definitely trouble.”

  Jacob? Trouble? The only trouble she found with him was the way her heart responded. And as for the allegation that he owned a motorcycle, she simply couldn’t imagine that. Motorcycles were loud, noisy, and, as far as she could see, dangerous.

  But she did know about the bike and the girl.

  And by the way he handled Kent, she could have guessed about the fights.

  “See, he’s not a wise choice. You need a man who will take care of you and Emma. I’m established, Rebekah. Established.” Amos nodded decisively. “I own my haus and farm. I have five hundred head of cattle. A chicken coop. I could let you sell eggs for money. I have plenty of buwe to help, and you have Emma to eventually help in the haus. I’ll work up a big garden plot for you.”

  Becky swallowed. “But your oldest son is almost my age. You are as old as Daed.”

  “Age doesn’t matter
. And my bu says he doesn’t mind about you being so young. You should see his eyes light up when I mention marrying you. I think he has a crush on you.” Amos chuckled, as if that was funny.

  Her stomach churned.

  “But….” Mamm had told her they’d move away, if necessary, rather than force her to marry Amos. Not to mention, she’d rather remain single. Forever.

  And she loved Jacob.

  Maybe she’d tell him so when she returned to the house. Tell him she didn’t want him to court Annie. That she was sure—really, truly sure—she wanted him to court her.

  He’d told her the intent was there for a promise.

  Daed approved of him.

  He’d been helping with Emma.

  According to Annie, he had eyes for her alone.

  In spite of knowing the truth.

  Jah, she loved Jacob, for sure.

  She quit walking and stumbled a bit when Amos dragged her along, taking a couple of steps before he realized she’d stopped.

  He released her arm.

  “I’m sorry. So very sorry. You do have a lot to offer.” She tried not to choke. “But, really, I’m already spoken for.”

  Was that a lie? Her heart had been claimed.

  “You can do better with me, Rebekah.” He bowed his head. “I’ll be here if you change your mind. You take some time and think. You’ll see that I’m right about Jacob Miller.”

  “You’re very kind. I’ll definitely keep that in mind.”

  But she wouldn’t change her mind. Nein, it was made up.

  There was a spring in her step as she turned back toward the house. And her smile wouldn’t be restrained.

  She couldn’t wait to tell Jacob.

  ***

  Becky was smiling. Smiling. He’d done everything but handstands and splits to try to coax a grin out of her and had gotten nothing.

  Of course, he wasn’t the one she loved.

  He should be glad that she’d found happiness. That she had someone to love and would not have to marry Amos Kropf. That had been Jacob’s original goal, after all—to help Becky find someone better to marry.