O.J.

by Penny Hawking

  I shrugged and grinned. “Don’t worry, this isn’t the part where I tell you some pitiful story so you can feel bad for me and relate to unnecessary bullshit.” I said laughing, ignoring the part that my voice was getting really emotional and cracking near the end.

  Andy didn’t say anything. I looked up at him and was grateful that he wasn’t looking at me. He too was staring up at the sky through the window roof.

  “I’m sorry if this is the worst thanksgiving you’ve ever been too.” I whispered.

  Andy looked down and met my gaze. “It’s not.” He said sincerely. “I’ve been enjoying myself…” His blue eyes pierced into mine

  “You don’t have to lie.” I said nudging his knee with wrist.

  “I’m not.” Andy straightened up. He rested his elbows on his knees as he stared across the room of the tree house. “My family was really big on thanksgiving…the people, the food…” He sighed as he cocked his head slightly to the right to look at me. “It’s annoying now, but when it’s gone…you miss it like hell.” He whispered. He brought his tongue out and absently played with his lip ring as I watched in a trance.

  My heart started beating fast and I looked back down at the ground. Tell him¸ let him in…just a little maybe…he’s opening up to you isn’t he? Just tell him how you feel…get it off... Just tell him how you feel…get it off our chest.

  “I wanna be her.” I said softly. I couldn’t look him in the face so I stared at his shirt. I took a couple deep breaths as tears welled up in my eyes. “I remember going to sleep sometimes praying that I’d wake up as Celine.” I said my voice breaking. I’m so pitiful…this is embarrassing…I shouldn’t have said anything…great, now he’s gonna think I’m more of a loser than before…I should’ve just kept it in. I sniffled to stop from letting anymore emotions come out. I looked down at my hands and rubbed the nail polish on my thumb.

  “If you’d woken up as Celine…there’d be no more Ornelia.” Andy said speaking up.

  I scoffed. “That’s the point…who cares?” I said ten times more interested in my hands than looking up and seeing pity in his eyes. That I did not need…I witnessed it too many times in my life to get it from him.

  “I do.” Andy said softly.

  I lifted my head and met his gaze. There was no pity or sorrow or remorse in his eyes. They were gentle and something else….maybe I was reading too much into it. “You do?” I asked.

  Andy gave a small smile as he looked down at his black chucks.

  “I think this is the part where you explain why you care.” I said sitting up straighter as I turned my body towards him. “Because I really…I mean….I…I didn’t know you did.” I said flustered. “I mean…I assumed you cared some way but not…I mean not like…I am so confused.” I said rubbing my temple.

  Andy rubbed his knees and took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

  “Am I reading too much into what you just said?” I whispered as I leaned a little closer to him.

  Andy finally looked back at me. He searched my face softly as his eyes roamed over me. I noticed him inhale sharply. He quickly licked his bottom lip. “Yeah.” He said. But oh hell no…his eyes were telling me something else. I know I usually take things out of proportions but not this time. I knew that look he’d just given me….I gave it and received all the time.

  “Do you want to kiss me?” I asked with a slight smirk on my face.

  “What? No.” Andy said looking away as he rubbed his neck.

  Bingo. “Yes you do.” I said more assured. You see with other guys I would have been more upfront, but with Andy no matter how sure I am….there’s always that little doubt. But doubt be gone because Andy wanted himself some Ornelia…of that I’m sure.

  “Ornelia no I don’t.” Andy said shifting uncomfortably. He looked around the tree house. “How long did it take him to build this thing?” He asked.

  Ah…switching topics…. “If you want to kiss me just do it.” I said going back on a topic I had full and utter control over. “I give you permission.” I said grinning.

  Andy settled more in the hammock. “I don’t----”

  “Andy…..” I said softly in that knowing tone as I cut him off.

  Andy stopped talking and he rubbed his right arm. “You’re annoying.” He said softly as he looked at his arm.

  I laughed as I scooted closer to him. “I’ve heard worse.” I said repeating what he’d told me before. I leaned closer to his face, trying to contain my excitement that I’d managed to break Andy down a little. “What’s so wrong with you kissing me?” I asked. “Huh?”

  Andy brought his hand up and touched his lip ring. He didn’t lean away from my proximity. “It goes against my better judgment.” He whispered.

  I giggled as he watched me. “Against your better judgment?” I repeated as I playfully poked his arm. “The way I see it…you’re the one that’s been flirting with me all day.” I leaned into his ear. “You’re judgments been slacking all day…tease.” I whispered.

  Andy shook his head and smiled. He ran his fingers through his raven black hair and stretched. “I know you Ornelia…believe me I do and I can’t----”

  “Then you must know I want you to kiss me too.” I said running my tongue under my four front teeth. I smiled as his eyes stayed on my tongue. I placed my palm on his thigh as I leaned into him.

  “Ornelia stop.” Andy said weakly. “Me and you we can’t…we’re not compatible…we…want two different things.”

  I found it funny that he couldn’t tear his eyes off my lips.

  “Who said anything about compatibility?” I whispered. I leaned my nose against his. I reached in between my lips and took my gum out my mouth. “As far as I’m concerned it’s about the here and now…and here and now we both want to kiss the other.” I said softly. I grinned as I put my finger against his lips. “Gum.” I whispered. He opened his mouth slightly. I slipped my index finger in between his lips. My body tingled at the sheer feeling of the warm wetness surrounding my finger. I scooped out the gum and slowly slid my finger out. “Kissing with gum isn’t as romantic as they make it out to seem.” I said speaking from experience. I stuck the two gum on the back of my hand.

  “Ornelia…” Andy said softly as his voice trailed off.

  “Kiss me…” I whispered.

  To say that I was surprised would be an understatement. I had expected him to put up more of a fight. But instead I was rewarded with a gentle hand placed on my cheek as my head was brought up a little to meet his lips. Andy’s lips were slightly cold, slightly wet and definitely soft. Much softer than I’d imagined or felt on any other white boy. He didn’t attack my mouth, nor was it a pansy little kiss. It was a confidant meeting of lips, which had more of an effect on me than I care to explain to you guys. So when he slowly retreated, yes I was that girl that stayed eyes half closed, mouth slightly open…waiting for more. Andy didn’t disappoint as he leaned in and closed the gap between our lips for the second time. I grabbed his shirt as he moved his lips against mine, his hand moving from my cheek to gently hold my head. I would like to point out that I was not doing the kissing, I Ornelia Jones was getting thoroughly kissed.

  Andy leaned into me and deepened the kiss as his lips parted and mine followed suit. He captured my top lip in between his lips and that’s when I felt the full effect of the cold silver lip ring in my mouth. I’m sure him having a lip ring wasn’t intended to be sexual but damn it sure felt good. So good that I had no choice but to open my mouth wider and brush my tongue against his bottom lip. Andy sucked on my bottom lip before running his tongue over my own. I pulled his shirt and with his other hand he grabbed my hip as he moved his body towards mine and gave me a couple deep full mouth kisses. Tongue, lips, breath, saliva, and everything intertwined.

  I was just about to put my leg over his when he abruptly let go of me. He panted heavily as he ran his fingers over his face and through his hair. “Fuck.” He whispered.

  I caught my breath as I le
t go of his shirt. “Is that a good fuck or a bad fuck?” I asked uneasily…the way he said it made it seem like it fell into the latter category…if that was the case then we had major differing opinions on kisses.

  “I’m sorry.” Andy said quickly. He quickly got up forgetting the structure of the tree house and bumped his head against the wall. He cringed as he ducked his head.

  “Wait.” I said getting up and ducking. “You don’t just kiss somebody like that and say you’re sorry.” I said angrily. I grabbed his hand and pulled him down so we could both get on the floor without having to worry about banging the shit out of our heads. “That wasn’t a sorry kind of kiss.” I said turning his face towards me.

  Andy opened his mouth and I knew what he was going to say.

  “Don’t.” I said putting my index finger over his lips. “Don’t say we shouldn’t have done that.”

  Andy looked stuck.

  I shrugged innocently as I removed my finger. “Did you really not like the kiss?” I asked meekly. Why was I so anxious for his confirmation?

  Andy groaned and bowed his head. He furiously raked his bangs back. “It’s not that.” He said in a frustrated tone. “Shit…I…Ornelia.” He closed his eyes tightly. He sighed. “It’s not….I…I have a problem okay.” He struggled to say. “I get attached too easily and I don’t want to---”

  “Whoa.” I said putting my hand up. “Who said anything about attachment?” I asked. “It was just a kiss.”

  “I know I just…” Andy closed his eyes again. He looked so defeated, like he’d failed at something important.

  I scooted over to him and sat up on my knees. I tugged on his shirt till his blue eyes locked with mine. “It was just a kiss between two consensual friends.” I said softly. “That’s all…there’s nothing wrong with that.”

  “I know…I…” Andy looked me over.

  “Just a kiss.” I said smiling as I ran my hand under his shirt and up his warm side. “Just two friends kissing and having fun…that’s all.” Andy didn’t take his eyes off me as I leaned into him. “No attachment…nothing serious…just fun Andy….live a little.” I leaned forward and kissed him softly.

  “Andy I want to keep kissing you, do you want to kiss me?” I whispered against his lips. I trailed my hand to his back and slid it down till half my fingers were inside the warmness of his boxers.

  “Yes.” He answered. His hands settling on my hips.

  I smiled. “Then let’s continue.” I said sexily as I nibbled the corner of his mouth.

  “This is not gonna work.” He mumbled but that didn’t stop him from closing his mouth over mine. I held on to him as I sunk into his kiss. I could definitely get used to this Andy…

  *****

  I giggled as I slipped my hand into Andy’s back pocket. He turned and put his hand over my mouth. He put his index finger over his lips to shush me. I nodded as we entered through the back door. With a mouth and tongue like Andy’s I was ready to do anything he said. My lips were a bit plump from the makeout session in the treehouse…but that didn’t mean I wasn’t ready for more, especially when he kept it strictly kissing, no matter how hard (and almost succeeded several times) I tried to remove some article of clothing. For somebody that kept saying we needed to stop and not do too much, my lips had gotten a workout that’s for sure.

  I followed him upstairs carefully. I wanted to laugh, we didn’t have to be this discreet. Everybody in here slept like the dead…especially my mom and Celine. Andy held my hand as he stopped in front of Fleur’s bedroom door.

  I wrapped my arm around his waist. “Oh are we going to say goodnight to Fleur?” I asked innocently as I kissed his chin. Andy bent down and brushed his lips against mine.

  “Ornelia you should go in there.” He said quietly.

  “Right.” I said rolling my eyes. I turned him around and he didn’t protest as I led him to my bedroom door.

  “We keep making all these bad decisions.” He whispered as he kissed my ear. Andy slid his hand over my butt.

  “Fun.” I said. “We keep making all these fun decisions.” I stopped walking and leaned up and kissed him passionately. Andy pulled me to him and I wrapped one leg around his calf. I moaned as his tongue ran over my lips and pressed my body against his. I rubbed against his erection, eager to take care of it for him if he’d let me. Andy moaned softly and let go of my lips.

  “You’re mom’s gonna kill me.” He said breathlessly in a hushed voice.

  “You’re gonna kill me.” I whispered as I slid my hand over his crotch. I rubbed the bulge over and over and smiled as he tried to suppress the pleasure but it was all over his face.

  “Stop doing that.” He said reluctantly as he pulled my hand off him. I giggled.

  “Ssshhh.” He whispered looking around. He reached out and opened the bedroom door. “We’re going straight to bed young lady.” He said ushering me in.

  I followed him in and turned around and locked my bedroom door. “Just to be on the safe side.” I said shrugging. I reached for the light switch and Andy stopped me.

  “Please stop torturing me.” He whispered. He bent down and kissed my hand. “Let’s just go to sleep.” He let go of my hand and made his way with a couple bumps to the bed.

  I pouted. “But I’m still horny.” I said.

  “Sometimes we have to deny ourselves pleasure.” He said seriously. I heard the bed creak as he sat on it. I heard a zipper unzip and ruffling of jeans.

  “Why deny yourself pleasure?” I asked making my way in the dark to my bed. “It’s around for us to enjoy it for a reason.” I purposely bumped into him and fall into his lap. The dim light of the moon through the window showed that he’d taken off his shirt and jeans. He stared at me with intense longing in his eyes, it almost broke my heart. I knew if I wanted to, I could satisfy myself with him tonight and he wouldn’t object. But I also knew he’d probably blame himself in the morning.

  I kissed his forehead and got off his lap. “Just cause you didn’t wear the blue shirt today doesn’t mean I’d forgotten about it.” I said pulling my shirt off.

  Andy turned his back to me and I grinned. I made a show of taking an extra long time to pull my jeans down.

  “I hate you.” Andy whispered as he fell back on the bed.

  I laughed and made my way to my drawer where I had left over shorts and tanks. I took off my bra and got dressed and climbed back on the bed. Andy’s back was to me as he slept on the far edge of the bed.

  “I don’t bite.” I teased.

  “Stay over there.” Andy said. “Your mom is so sending us to hell for this.” He whispered. I laughed as I pulled the covers over me.

  “You’re something else Andy.” I said shaking my head. I yawned and stretched. “Best make-out session I’ve had in a long time…even if our clothes stayed on.” I said sleepily.

  “Go to sleep.” Andy said shifting in the bed.

  “Am I the first black girl you’ve ever kissed?” I asked.

  “No.” He answered. “Now go to sleep.”

  “Made out with?”

  “Yes…Ornelia go to sleep.” Andy said.

  “Why?” I asked propping myself up on my elbow as I faced him.

  There was silence and then Andy sighed and laid on his back as he stared at the ceiling. “So I can stop thinking of what it would be like to be with you.” He admitted.

  “Wow that was brutally honest.” I said following suit and laying on my back to stare at the ceiling. “I was going to accept a simple ‘you’re tired or something you know.”

  “You don’t shut-up do you?” Andy asked with slight amusement in his tone as he turned his head to me.

  “Not when I’m really excited.” I answered turning my head to him.

  Andy stared at me softly. “So you’re really verbal during sex huh?”

  I laughed and he smiled. “Wouldn’t you like to know?”

  Andy sighed and returned his attention back to the ceiling. I tucked myself more in the cov
ers as I watched the moon illuminate his profile.

  “Where do we stand?” Andy whispered.

  “We’re friends.” I answered as I scooted a little closer to him. I reached up and brushed his bangs out his eye. “We do whatever we want cause we can.” I whispered. I brought my index finger over his nose and trailed it down to his lips.

  Andy slipped his hands under the sheet and I knew without a doubt that they were in his boxers, not like the tent over his crotch was a complete give away.

  “Friends don’t kiss.” He said.

  “Well then, I guess we’re some kind of special huh?” I said casually. I knew he was running things through his mind, I could practically see the wheels turning. I wish I knew what he was thinking because he was taking so long to respond. I slipped my hand under the sheets. I ran it down his biceps to his arm. I paused a little when I felt the elastic band of his boxers. When he didn’t protest, I slid my hand inside to cover his extremely hot hand engulfed by more heat with my own. I ran my thumb over his hand and tried to ignore the fact that I was mere millimeters away from touching his dick.